moskowitz Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious moskowitz puns

Jewish ad campaign

Old man Moskowitz was getting along in years. He decided to retire and let his 3 sons run the company (which manufactured a wide variety of nails). The sons thought they could increase market-share with some judicious billboard advertising.
Only a week later the old man was taking his usual Sunday drive in the country when he saw the first billboard ad. There it was - a picture of Christ on the Cross, with the caption: "Nails for Every Purpose. Use Moskowitz Nails."
The old man immediately met with his 3 sons to voice his concern. He explained that the backlash could be horrendous. The company could be ruined. The sons agreed to discontinue that ad.
A week later the old man was again taking his usual Sunday drive when he saw the second billboard ad. There it was - - a picture of the same cross, empty, with Christ crumpled on the ground below... and the caption: "Next Time Use Moskowitz Nails."

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The North/South Korea conflict reminded me of an old joke set in Israel

Two old Israeli men are having lunch together, talking about this and that, politics and their jobs, and the conversation leads to them talking about the state of Israel.

"I'm telling you, Moskowitz, there's an easy solution to all the problems Israel has."

"I'm sure if there was one, it would have been used by now, Finklestein."

"No, no, no. I say we invade the United States."

Mr. Moskowitz almost chokes on his drink. "Invade the- what possible good do you think that could do for us! We would be absolutely destroyed if we declared war on them!"

My. Finklestein's face lights up. "Ah-hah! That's all part of the plan! We would be in such a terrible state that the U.S. would have to give us aid in order to rebuild ourselves! Now, we have modern U.S. technology, and if our neighbors would never attack us while the U.S. is occupying us!"

Moskowitz thinks about this for a while. Is the plan so crazy it might actually work? "Phah," he says. "With our Jewish luck, we would *win* the war."

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Why is everyone picking on Jews?

A comedian was going into his favourite joke, "One day, Moskowitz and Finkelstein were going to..." when a heckler from the audience interrupted.

"Moskowitz and Finkelstein! why does it always have to be two Jews? Can't you tell a joke with any other nationalities involved!? Why don't you make them Chinese for a change?"

The comedian rejoined, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend. How about this: One day, Lee Ho and Mao Chen were on their way to the synagogue to attend the bar mitzvah of Lee Ho's nephew..."

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Why did Avi Moskowitz get his ass kicked during High School?

Because the Jew-Jitsu lessons his mom paid for were worthless.

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What are the most funny Moskowitz jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Moskowitz? Well, here are the best Moskowitz dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Moskowitz pick up lines to share with friends.

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