Mose Jokes
77 mose jokes and hilarious mose puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mose that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mose Short Jokes
Short mose jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mose humour may include short franchise jokes also.
- I never knew how technologically advanced moses was... But today I learned he had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
- God said to set up a router and free Wi-Fi in the tabernacle... ...but Moses is having a little trouble finding the promised LAN.
- Why couldn't Moses adopt a kitten from the animal shelter? Because the shelter was non prophet.
- Why did Moses vote for Al Gore? Because the last time he took political orders from a Bush, his country went mucking around in the Middle East for forty years.
- Who is the first person to have downloaded data from the cloud and onto their tablet? Moses.
- If you hear a supernatural voice in your head telling you to destroy statues of the Ten Commandments, you might be mentally ill. But if the voice tells you to create them instead, you might be Moses.
- Who did God send to help the slaves flee through the partially permeable membrane? Os-Moses.
- Why couldn't Moses believe his mother sent him away in a basket? Because he was in de-nile
- Little known fact, Moses had a motorcycle It literally says so in the Bible:
"And lo, the roar of Moses' Triumph was heard throughout Israel" - How did Moses split the Red Sea? With a "sea"saw.
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Mose One Liners
Which mose one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mose? I can suggest the ones about moo and violins.
- How does Moses make his coffee? Hebrews it.
- Moses was the first person to use Control-C as a shortcut
- How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
I'm serious! That Israeli how he does it! - How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it.
I'll show myself out. - Ever heard of that Hebrew metal band? Guns N' Moses
- Why did Moses part his hair? To make a path for the Israelice.
- Technically it was Moses..... that had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.
- Who was the first plagiarist? Moses.
.
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He ^could ^^control ^^^c - What did Moses say when he wanted to see through his door? Let my peephole grow!
- How does Moses make tea? Hewbrews it.
- How does Moses get his tea ready? Hebrews
- What did Moses use to cut the sea in half? A sea saw.
- What do you call a gun loving, Christian rock band? Guns N' Moses
- How does Moses make beer? Hebrews!
- Moses was very modern He was the first to get a tablet with a data from the cloud
Silly & Ridiculous Mose Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about mose you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean udder jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mose pranks.
When Moses came down the mountain, he noticed his followers had bad breath.
So he gave them the Ten Commandmints
What does Moses have in common with a h**... who visited her doctor?
Both took two tablets after discovering a burning bush.
Moses, Jesus and Mohammed were selecting their followers...
Moses looks at all the women from whom to create his chosen people, picks out all of the smart ones and tells them to follow him. Jesus' turn comes, he looks at the remaining group, picks all of the most beautiful ones and tells them to follow him. Mohammed takes a look at the remaining group, sighs and says "cover yourself up"
Why did Moses lead the Jews around the desert for 40 years?
Because someone dropped a quarter.
How does Moses make his tea?
He brews it.
Moses was the first hippie.
He was a guy who came from the hills with long hair and sandals, and he brought with him tablets that made everybody feel good.
What does Moses do when he wants a beer?
He brews!
Why doesn't Moses buy beer?
He brews it.
Moses comes down from the mountaint
— Okay, guys, I have the commandments. I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
— The good news.
— I've managed to bring it down to ten.
— What's the bad news?
— I've had to leave adultery in.
Moses talking to a burning bush was child's play
...compared to the miracle of getting a hundred thousand Jews to voluntarily go in to the Red ~~sea~~.
Moses parts the Hi-C...
...To save the juice
Why did Moses only go down on redheaded girls?
He's into that burning bush.
What did Moses say to the guy who wanted a boat
I Noah guy
What did Moses say when Isaiah told him the levy had burst?
God Dam It!
Moses walks into a bar
And says "I'll just halve water"
Moses was computer savvy..
..He had two tablets!
Moses opens his tablet.
The notification says, "You have 10 unread commandments'.
Where does Moses get his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Moses Meets Dubya
George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the USA, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"
Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 years!"
Why did Moses see a burning bush as God?
Because God planned on giving him his first tablets then.
The mistake? They were Samsung Galaxy Note tablets.
How does Moses prepare his coffee?
Hebrews it.
Moses doesn't mind period s**....
He's used to being in the red sea.
How did moses die?
He head dived into a pool.
Moses may have parted the Red Sea...
But tampons were able to drain it.
How does Moses troll Jesus?
He parts the water that Jesus is trying to walk on
Why couldn't Moses believe that his mother abandoned him in the river?
He was in da-Nile
Why did Moses get invited to so many English gatherings?
Cuz the dude knew how to part tea.
What was moses feeling when his mum put him in a basket on a river?
He was in denial
What did Moses do after he got a bladder infection?
Parted the Red Pea
How does Moses makes coffee ?
He brews
Said Moses after smashing the Ten Commandments:
It's okay, I have a backup in the cloud.
Where was Moses when the lights went out?
In the dark
Moses was centuries ahead of his time
He was the first to realise you need a tablet to connect to the cloud.
Moseses parents didn't start off rich
but they made a handsome profit
Why did it take Moses 40 years to cross the desert?
He got paid by the hour.
Moses reaches the bottom of Mt. Sinai, gathers the people together, and says, "Alright everyone, I've got good news and bad news. The good news is that I got him down to 10."
"The bad news is adultery stays."
How does Moses make tea?
He brews
Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush.
Moses was walking down the street when he bumped into George W. Bush. Hello, Bush said. Nice weather we're having, huh? Moses took one look at the President, turned, and ran in the other direction.
The next day Moses was walking down the same street and there was Bush. Again he tried to initiate a conversation. Again Moses turned and ran away.
Bush was tired of this bizarre treatment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush followed. When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.
Moses said, The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert.
Moses joke
**Moses was the first person to use *Control+C* as a shortcut.**
Moses was the first person to:
Download from Cloud onto a Tablet.
How does Moses style his hair?
With a parting
Moses comes back down from the mountain
Got good and bad news, folks. The good news: I got him down to 10. The bad news: Adultery is still on the list.
Moses went to Mount Olive.
Popeye was furious.
Moses, Jesus and an old man are playing golf together.
Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole. Moses turns to Jesus "I hate playing with your dad."
Why won't Moses travel with Jews ever again?
Because they bring things that they don't knead
Moses, Jesus and an old man were playing golf.
Moses swings and the ball rolls towards a river. The river splits and the ball goes through. Hole in one.
Jesus shrugs, and hits the ball straight onto the river. It rolls straight over. Hole in one.
The old man smiles and hits the ball into the river. A fish swallows the ball, an eagle swoops down, grabs the fish and flies off. Suddenly, a bolt of lightning strikes the eagle, it drops the fish, the ball falls into the hole.
Moses turns to Jesus and says
"I hate playing with your dad."
Moses came down
Moses came down from Mount Sinai and announced to the people, "I just got done speaking with God." "No way!" the townspeople shouted. "Yahweh."
