Mortis Jokes
10 mortis jokes and hilarious mortis puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mortis that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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What is a good mortis joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Legs in the Air
Little Johnny came home from school to see the family's pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor Mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Johnny said, "Dad our rooster is dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?"
His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven."
"Gee Dad that's great," said Little Johnny. A few days later, when Dad came home from work, Johnny rushed out to meet him yelling, "Dad, Dad we almost lost Mom today!"
"What do you mean?" said Dad.
"Well Dad, I got home from school early today and went up to your bedroom and there was Mom flat on her back with her legs in the air screaming,"Jesus I'm coming, I'm coming" If it hadn't of been for Uncle George holding her down we'd have lost her for sure!"
What did the necropheliac say to her boyfriend?
Did rigor mortis just set in, or are you just happy to see me?
Why was a chair sitting by the casket?
For Rigor Mortis to sit in.
What would the show be renamed if Rick and Morty actually legitimately died for good?
Rigor and Mortis
What happens to a dead body when it gets offended?
Trigger mortis
The hardest part of having s**... again after you have recently been widowed is....
Gettin there before the rigor mortis sets in.
What is it called when a chameleon can't change it's colour?
Rigor mortis
What's the only type of c**... that's hard?
One with Rigor Mortis.
What did the necrophiliac say to the girl?
You'll have rigor Mortis by the time I'm done with you.
What do you call a dead vegetable grower with rigor mortis?
A firmer former farmer.
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