Morris Jokes
24 morris jokes and hilarious morris puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about morris that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you looking for a laugh? Take a break and read this article about Morris jokes! Abe and the woman in a Morris Minor are some of the jokes you will find here. Whether you're a fan of Morris dancing, or just looking for a chuckle, this article has something for you.
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Funniest Morris Short Jokes
Short morris jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The morris humour may include short wright jokes also.
- Can stars talk? Daughter - Daddy can stars talk to each other?
Dad - Of course they use Morris code.... They flash each other. - Morris says to his teenage daughter "There are two words I'd like you to drop from your vocabulary. One is "awesome" and the other is "g**...." "OK" she replies, "what are they?"
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Morris One Liners
Which morris one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with morris? I can suggest the ones about gorgeous and nurse.
- When he asked me why I was laughing at his name, I told him: because it was Hugh Morris.
- My friend has taken up Morris dancing I gave him some stick for it.
- What is Morris Day and The Time's favorite cookie? Ore-Ore-O!
- What's Morris Day's favorite version of Android? Oh-re-Oreo.
- What is Zack Morris's favorite type of word? A Preppysition
Cheerful Morris Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about morris you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean examination jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make morris pranks.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
What do you get if you drop a piano down a mineshaft?
A flat minor.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a beehive?
B flat.
What do you get if you drop a piano on a Morris Marina?
An episode of Top Gear.
Plane Ride
Morris and his wife Esther went to the state fair every year, and every year Morris would say, "Esther, I'd like to ride in that airplane."
Esther always replied, "I know, Morris, but that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
One year Morris and Esther went to the fair, and Morris said, "Esther, I'm eighty-five years old. If I don't ride that airplane, I might never get another chance."
Esther replied, "Morris, that airplane ride costs fifty dollars, and fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
The pilot overheard them and said, "Folks, I'll make you a deal. I'll take you both up for a ride. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say one word, I won't charge you; but if you say one word, it's fifty dollars."
Morris and Esther agreed, and up they went. The pilot did all kinds of twists and turns, rolls and dives, but not a word was spoken. He did all his tricks over again but still not a word. When they landed, the pilot turned to Morris and said, "My, my, I did everything I could think of to get you to yell out, but you didn't."
Morris replied, "Well, I was gonna say something when Esther fell out, but fifty dollars is fifty dollars."
Morris Schwartz is dying and on his deathbed.
He is surrounded by his nurse, his wife, his daughter and two sons, and knows the end is near. So he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Center."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says to the wife, "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated so much property."
Sarah replies, "Property shmoperty...the s**... had a newspaper route."
Morning Jew
Morris Schwartz is on his deathbed, knows the end is near, is with his nurse, his wife, his daughter and 2 sons. "So", he says to them:
"Bernie, I want you to take the Beverly Hills houses."
"Sybil, take the apartments over in Los Angeles Plaza."
"h**..., I want you to take the offices over in City Centre."
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings downtown."
The nurse is just blown away by all this, and as Morris slips away, she says , "Mrs. Schwartz, your husband must have been such a hard working man to have accumulated all this property".
Sarah replies, "Property? The s**... had a paper round!"
Why does Morrissey have trouble sleeping?
Because there's a light that never goes out.
Morris went to doctor for a physical
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical.
A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.
A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said: "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied: "Just doing what you said, Doc. Get a hot mamma and be cheerful."
The doctor said: "I didn't say that. I said, You've got a heart murmur - be careful."
Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament.
Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.
To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.
To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.
And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill."
82 year old Mr. Morris
went to the doctors for a full physical examination.
A few weeks later, the doctor saw Mr. Morris walking down the road with a gorgeous young lady on his arm.
'Hello Mr. Morris,' says the doctor, 'you're looking well and it looks like you're doing great!'
'Well, I got me a hot Mamma, and I'm being cheerful, just like you said doc.'
'I didn't say that! What I said was, "You have a heart murmor, be careful!" '
Morris dancer about town
There's a man wandering the streets creeping up on people and attaching jingle bells to them, police are on the case as they say there's no reason for the public to be alarmed
Bomb the babies and....
Thanksgiving political conversation:
Me: well what would you rather spend the money on, giving babies diapers or dropping bombs?
Uncle Morris: we have enough for both. Bomb the babies and give the terrorists diapers.
Does Morrissey put jam on his toast?
No, Johnny Marr might
The detectives questioned me for hours as to the whereabouts of the 'Will & Grace" starlet...
People said they'd seen us all over the city, holding hands and kissing.
I told them I had no idea what they were talking about.
"We urge you to cooperate, Mr. Morris. We've got several eyewitnesses who claim they've seen you and Debra Messing around."
Morrissey has cancer
I know, I know, it's serious.
