Moron Jokes

Following is our collection of dumbass humor and numbskull one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Moron puns for adults, dirty idiotic jokes or clean nutcase gags for kids.

There is an abundance of snaps jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 44 funniest jokes on moron. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any fool witze you can hear about moron.

The Best jokes about Moron

I saw my wife, slightly drunk, yelling at the TV: Don't go in there! Don't go in the church, you moron."

She was watching our wedding video again.

Man tries to open a bank account

Teller asks him : "Your name?"
"J-j-jj-hhh-on S-ss-mm-i-tthh"
"Oh you stutter?"
"No my dad did but the person who did by birth certificate was a complete moron."

A Conman, Moron and Rapist walks into a Bar

Bartender asks What would you like, Mr. President?

Two morons are sitting on a fence. The big one fell off, why didn't the other?

He was a little more on.

An old political joke from Imperial Russia (reign of Nicholas II)

A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a moron!". He is taken away by the police on charges of lese majeste (insulting the monarch). He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!". The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said 'moron', you certainly meant the Czar!"


DIVING WITHOUT EQUIPMENT

Twenty feet below sea level, a diver notices another guy at the same depth with no scuba gear.
The diver goes down another 10 feet, and the guy joins him a minute later. The diver goes below 15 more feet, and a minute later, the same guy joins him.
The diver takes out a waterproof pad and pencil and writes, "How are you able to stay this deep without equipment?"
The guy takes the pencil and pad and writes, "I'm drowning, you moron!"

My idiot friend keeps saying, Every time I go to Taco Bell, I get diarrhea.

I said, Try ordering Tacos instead, moron.

Three blondes are walking through the woods

shortly into their walk, they find tracks on the ground.

"Look at the size of these rabbit tracks!" Said the first blonde.

"You moron, those are raccoon tracks." Said the second blonde.

"You two are so stupid, these are obviously coyote tracks!" Said the third blonde.

Two minutes later, they were all run over by a train.

How many morons does it take to change a lightbulb?

14,000.

1 to hold the lightbulb, 4 to hold the chair, and 13,995 to spin the house.

What kind of moron invented the fire blanket

Surely fire is warm enough already?

Politics is like driving

No matter which lane you're in, anyone moving faster than you is a maniac and anyone going slower is a moron.


Two Electricians Are Working On A Telephone Pole

As they're working, an old woman walks by them. The first electrician calls out "Ma'am! Can you move that wire aside for us?"

She replies "Oh yes, deary", as she picks up the wire and moves it out of the sidewalk and strolls off.

The second electrician says to the first "I told you it wasn't live, moron."

My friend said, You have a B.A., Master's, and a Ph.D, but you still act like a moron.

It was a third degree burn.

There was a big moron and a little moron sitting on a ledge, who fell off first?

The big moron, because the other guy was a little more on.

Are news readers secretly insulting you?

**Moron this story later.**

Obama Fans - Little Johnny

A teacher asked her 6th grade class how many of them were Obama fans. Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny. The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different... again. Little Johnny said, "Because I'm not an Obama fan." The teacher asked, "Why aren't you a fan of Obama?" Johnny said, "Because I'm a Republican." The teacher asked him why he was a Republican. Little Johnny answered, "Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican." Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, "If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?"

With a big smile, little Johnny replied, "That would make me an Obama fan."

TV Anchor and A Shapherd

TV Anchor to a Shapherd: "What do you feed your goat?"

Shepherd: "Which one, the black or the white?"

Anchor: "hmm! The black one"

Shepherd: "Grass"

Anchor: "And the white one?"

Shepherd: "Also Grass"

Anchor: "How do you bathe them?"

Shepherd: "Which one, the black or the white?"

Anchor: "The black one"

Shepherd: "With water"

Anchor: "And the white one?"

Shepherd: "Also with water"

Anchor: "Where do you house them?"

Shepherd: "Which one, the black or the white?"

Anchor: "The black one"

Shepherd: "In the large barn"

Anchor: "And the white one?"

Shepherd: "Also in the large barn"

Anchor: "Moron, If you treat them both the same way, why do you keep asking me which one, the black or white?"

Shepherd: "Because the white goat is mine."

Anchor: "And the black one?

Shepherd: "That is also mine"

A moron attempted to commit suicide...

... they failed to find the edge of the Earth.

A pregnant woman is hit by a car....

She is sent into a coma for 1 year. She wakes up, no longer pregnant, screaming," Doctor! Doctor! Where is my baby?!"

The doctor replies, "Calm down, your babies are fine. You had twins! a girl and a boy. We gave them to your brother to watch while you were in the hospital."

She says,"My brother? That guy is a moron! Why would you do that?"

"I am sorry ma'am, we had no choice. There was nobody else. He even took the liberty of naming them."

"What??", she says. "What did he name my daughter?"

"He named her 'Denise' " says the doctor.

"Oh, well that's not so bad. What did he name my son?"

To which the doctor replies, "He named him 'Denephew' "


One day a college professor was greeting his new college class...

He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron,
and if they were, they should stand up.
After a minute a young man stood up.
The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron.
The kid replied,

'No, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself'.

If Dairy Queen and Burger King had a baby, what do you call it?

Restaurants can't have sex you moron.

A barber is telling his customer about the stupidest kid he knows..

He tells him, "I tell everyone about this kid and what a moron he is. Every time he comes by I offer him two quarters OR a single dollar bill. He takes the quarters every time...never learns."

Right as they're talking the kid walks by the window. The barber knocks and waves him in. The kid walks up and the barber offers him two quarters or a dollar bill. The kid takes the quarters and leaves.

"You see that? Every single time! I feel sorry for our future." says the barber.

Curious, the customer chases the kid down and asks, "Why do you take the two quarters? You know one dollar is worth more, right?"

"Of course I do, but the day I take the dollar, he'll stop paying me"

A big moron and a little moron were standing on a bridge, the big moron fell off

The other was a little more on.

(Sorry if this is a repost, I just remembered my dad telling it forever ago and thought I'd share because it made me chuckle)

A man insults the Tsar.

A man yells in the street: "Nicholas is a moron!". He is taken away by the police on charges of *lese majeste* (insulting the monarch).

He tells the policemen "Please let me go, I meant another Nicholas!".

The police chief replies: "Do not lie. If you said 'moron', you certainly meant the Tsar!"

What did the super smart dude say to the moron?

What did the super smart dude say to the moron?

The wife's dog died...

Knowing how much she loved that dog the husband got her another dog, exactly the same as the one that died.

He gave her the dog and she yelled at him: Moron!! What am I going to do with 2 dead dogs?!?

A big moron and a little moron were sitting on a log. The big moron fell off, but the latter remained. Why?

Because he was a little more on!

A policeman pulled me over.

"Sir, were you drunk driving?" he asked me.

"No," I slurred.

"I'm going to need to step out of your vehicle immediately," he stated.

I laughed. "You're a moron!"


"I'm a moron, am I? How so?"


"You think this is my car."

Please stand up

One day a college professor of Psychology was greeting his new college class. He stood up in front of the class and said, "Would everyone who thinks he or she is stupid please stand up?"

After a minute or so of silence, a young man stood up.

"Well, good morning. So, you actually think you're a moron?" the professor asked.

The kid replied, "No sir, I just didn't want to see you standing there all by yourself."

guy: Doctor help me, my wifi is in labor

doc: Don't panic, is this her first child ?

guy: No, this is her husband you moron!

Adam walks into a cafe and orders tea

Adam ordered a cup of tea in a cafe.

So, a waiter brought it for him but dipped his fingers in it.

Adam asked "Hey moron, why are you dipping your fingers in my tea?"

The waiter replied, "My finger is injured and the doctor advised me to keep it warm."

Adam said, "Then shove it up your ass!"

Then the waiter said, "Yeah, that's where I keep it when I am not carrying tea"

A big moron and a little moron were walking along a bridge...

When, suddenly, the big moron fell off and into the river!

Fortunately, the little moron was able to stay on the bridge, if only because he was a little more on.

(Joke credit to Stephen King)

the big universe

two friends Jake & bill laying in the tent camping

bill: Jake what are you looking at

Jake: the stars

bill: and what you get from that

Jake: how big the universe is and how small we are

bill: no the fu\*\*ing tent is gone you moron

A big moron and a little moron were standing on the edge of a roof. Suddenly a gust of wind came and the big one fell off, but the little one didn't. Why?

He was a little more on.

A protester who shouted "Donald Trump is a moron!" in front of the White House was arrested by the secret service and given 25 years in prison.

5 years for defamation, the court had announced, and an additional 20 years for leaking top-secret information.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The bartender asks what they would like to drink. The first scientist says "I'll have a glass of H2O please." The second scientist says "I'll have H2O too."

The bartender gives them both water because he isn't a moron and no bar serves hydrogen peroxide anyway.

Bar joke

A woman walks into a bar carrying a duck under her arm. The bartender asks "Hey where did you get that pig"? The woman replies "This is not a pig it's a duck, you moron." "I know I was talking to the duck.

Two morons are at the train station.

The first moron asks the clerk, "Can I take this train to Chicago?"

"No," the clerk responds.

The second moron asks the clerk, "Can I?"

Little Johnny at his finest

Teacher: Ok class, if any student here is a moron, please stand up.

*Silence fills the classroom for a couple of seconds until Little Johnny, sitting all the way at the back of the classroom, stands up*

Teacher: Oh look, Little Johnny stood up! Not surprising, considering you're the dumbest student in the whole class. Tell me, Little Johnny, why did you stand up? You do realize, you're admitting to the whole class that you're a moron? You know that, right?

Little Johnny: I'm not standing up to let everyone know I'm a moron. I'm only doing it to make you feel better, since you're standing alone.

The big moron and the little moron were sitting on a wall. The big one fell off but the little one didn't. Why?

Because he was a little moron

If Daenerys from Game of Thrones married Khal Moro instead of Khal Drogo, guess what she would've named her biggest dragon?

Moron.

What did the self-contradicting junkie say to the other?

It's an Oxy, moron.

When you learn more, it's called a lesson

When you learn less, you're called a moron.

Moron and Trouble are playing hide and seek

Moron goes and hide behind a police car. The ploice officer asks: "What is your name kid?" "Moron" says moron. To which the officer awnsers: "are you looking for trouble?" "No, sir. Trouble's looking for me!

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes