Mormon Drinking Jokes
31 mormon drinking jokes and hilarious mormon drinking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mormon drinking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mormon Drinking Short Jokes
Short mormon drinking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mormon drinking humour may include short baptists drinking jokes also.
- How many Mormons do you take fishing with you? Two.
If you only take one, he'll drink all your beer. - My Utahn grandpa's favorite joke: why should you always bring two Mormons with you when you go fishing? Because if you only bring one, he'll drink all your beer.
- Why do you only ever take 2 mormons fishing (instead of just one)? Because if you only take one, he'll drink all your beer.
- Why do you always take 2 Mormons when you go on a fishing trip? Because, if you only take one he will drink all your beer.
- Why do you always have to take two Mormons fishing? Cause if you took one, he'd drink all your beer
- Why do should you always invite two Mormons to play golf? If you only invite one, he'll drink all your beer.
- What do you call a m**... who likes to smoke, drink, swear and have s**... with strangers? An oxymormon.
- How do you stop a m**... from drinking all the beer at your party? Invite a second m**....
- When you go on a fishing trip with a m**..., how do you keep him from drinking all of your beer? You invite another m**....
- How do you keep a m**... from drinking all your beer on a camping trip? Take two of them with you.
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Mormon Drinking One Liners
Which mormon drinking one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mormon drinking? I can suggest the ones about baptist drinking and beer drinking.
- How many Mormons does it take to drink a 12 pack of beer? One if nobody is watching.
- I don't understand Mormons.... How can you have more than one wife and not drink?
- How do you get a m**... to stop drinking all of your alcohol? Invite two of them.
- How do you keep a m**... from drinking all your beer? Invite 2 mormons
- How do you make a m**... stop drinking? You invite another one.
Mormon Drinking Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about mormon drinking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean drinking jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mormon drinking pranks.
A m**... was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the m**... if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely r**... by a dozen w**... than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
A Jew, a Catholic, and a m**... are drinking together.
The Jew boasts about his fertility
"I have 4 sons; one more and I'll have a basketball team!"
"That's nothing," says the Catholic, "I have 10 sons! I almost have a football team!"
The Jew and Catholic looked expectantly at the m**.... "Well?"
"I have 17 wives. I almost have a golf course!"
So, a m**... and an Irishman are on a plane
They were seated next to each other on a flight from London to the US.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the m**... if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely r**... by a dozen w**... than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
A Jew, a Catholic and a m**... were having drinks at the bar following an interfaith meeting...
The Jew, bragging on his virility, said, "I have four sons. One more and I'll have a basketball team."
The Catholic, pooh-poohed this accomplishment, stating, "That's nothing, boy. I have 10 sons, one more and I'll have a football team."
To which the m**... replied, "You fellas ain't got a clue. I have 17 wives. One more and I'll have a golf course."
An Irishman and a m**... are seated next to each other on a plane...
The flight attendant asks if they'd like anything to drink. The Irishman says I'll have a double shot of Jameson, and one for my new friend here.
No no no, says the m**.... I would rather be sodomized by a dozen disease-infested w**... than to let alcohol touch my lips.
The flight attendant blushes and turns away before the Irishman interjects, forget the whiskey—I didn't realize that was an option.
An Irish man and a m**... sat next to each other on a plane.
The flight attendant comes and asks the Irish man if he wants a drink. He asks for a whiskey and the drink is promptly placed in front of him.
The flight attendant asks the m**...:
"Do you want an alcoholic drink too?"
The m**... responds:
"I would rather be assaulted by a dozen w**... than have alcohol touch my lips."
The Irish man interrupts saying:
"In that case take my drink back. I didn't know we had a choice."
How do you get a m**... to not drink all of your beer on a fishing trip?
Bring two Mormons.
An Irishman and a m**... sat next to each other on a plane.
The irishman immediately asked the stewardess for a whiskey. The stewardess served him his whiskey and asked the m**... if he would like a drink too.
The m**... replied that he would rather be savagely r**... by a dozen w**... than let liquor touch his lips.
The irishman hurriedly handed back his whiskey and said "Me too, I didn't know we had a choice."
Fishing in Utah
A Catholic in Utah once told me, "If you ever go fishing with a m**..., make sure you bring two."
"Why's that?" I asked.
"If you just bring one he will drink all your beer."
An Irishman walks into a bar...
An Irishman walks into a Dublin bar, orders three pints of Guinness, and drinks them down, taking a sip from one, then a sip from the next, until they're gone. He then orders three more. The bartender says, "You know, they'd be less likely to go flat if you bought them one at a time."
The man says, "Yeah, I know, but I have two brothers, one in the States, one in Australia. When we all went our separate ways, we promised each other that we'd drink this way in memory of the days when we drank together. Each of these is for one of my brothers and the third is for me."
The bartender is touched, and says, "What a great custom!"
The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar and always orders the same way.
One day he comes in and orders two pints. The other regulars notice, and a silence falls over the bar. When he comes to the bar for his second round, the bartender says, "Please accept my condolences, pal."
The Irishman says, "Oh, no, everyone's fine. I just joined the m**... Church, and I had to quit drinking."
Remembering Brothers
A cowboy walks into a bar in Texas, orders three mugs of brew and sits in the back room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.
When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender approaches and tells him, "You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it so it would taste better if you bought just one at a time."
The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in Australia, the other is in Dublin and I'm in Texas. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days we were together. So I drink one for each of my brothers and one for myself."
The bartender admits that this is a nice custom and leaves it there. The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way. He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.
One day, he comes in and orders only two mugs! All the regulars take notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your loss."
The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns and he laughs. "Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.......
"It's just that my wife and I joined the m**... Church and obviously I had to quit drinking. Hasn't affected my brothers though."