More Tired Than Jokes
114 more tired than jokes and hilarious more tired than puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about more tired than that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest More Tired Than Short Jokes
Short more tired than jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The more tired than humour may include short jokes also.
- If you run in front of a car you'll get tired... But if you run behind the car you'll get exhausted
- I'm tired of all these forced gender neutral terms The girl I'm going out with insist on calling me just friend instead of boyfriend
- I wish I could see what it was like to be fat for just one day. I'm tired of being fat every day.
- Why do the guards around Big Ben always look so tired? Because they're working around the clock.
- Did you hear that auschwitz had to ask visitors to stop playing Pokemon Go? They got tired of people pretending to be Ash.
- I'm really tired of people complaining about the price of everything. $2 for coffee, $3 for coat check, $4 for an hour of parking..... ......I'm just going to stop inviting them to my house.
- How many Broncos does it take to change a tire? One. Unless it's a blowout then the whole team shows up.
- Had to stop at the gas station to fill my tires… They raised the price to $1.50. I just can't believe the cost of inflation these days.
- I'm sick of tired of people soaking my floor with their wet umbrellas when they come over to visit. I think it's time to make a stand.
- My girlfriend thinks I'm cheating on her, and I'm getting tired of it. She sounds just like my wife
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More Tired Than One Liners
Which more tired than one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with more tired than? I can suggest the ones about and .
- What do you call a tire made out of 365 recycled condoms? A Goodyear
- A judge asked a wife why she stabbed her husband 75 times. She said her arm got tired.
- What vegetable do you need when you get a flat tire? A-spare-I-guess.
- I finally disabled autocorrect on my phone I was getting really tired of its shirt.
- Scientists watched the earth rotate for 24 hours and got tired, So they called it a day
- I saw a homeless man living in a tire today, so I popped it Now he lives in a flat
- I just flew in from a Ravioli convention. Boyardees arms tired.
- Why didn't the bike go to the car show? Because he was two tired.
- Why did the woman divorce the grape? She was tired of raisin' kids.
- Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? Because it's two-tired.
- I just flew back from a Transformers convention And boy are my arms tires
- When do Canadian sleep? When Canadian Tire
- Mechanic: "When were your tires last rotated?" Me: "On the way here, silly."
- I'm so tired of hearing Law and Order jokes. They've all been done done.
- Tired? There's a nap for that
More Tired Than Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about more tired than you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make more tired than pranks.
What do you do with 365 used condoms?
Melt them down, make a tire and call it a Goodyear.
(Yes, I have been waiting till the end of the year to write this)
A trucker and a blonde.
A trucker is driving down a busy highway when he is abruptly cut off by a blonde woman in her car. Tired and grumpy from driving all day, he quickly pulls along side of the woman's car and forces her to stop on the shoulder of the highway. The trucker and the woman get out of their vehicles. The trucker takes a rock and draws a circle around the blonde.
"Don't you dare set foot outside this circle," the trucker orders.
He walks over to the blondes car and keys the side of it. When he returns, the woman is standing in her circle giggling. This angers the trucker even more. He proceeds to grab a bat out of his semi and smash the mirrors off the woman's car. When the trucker returns to the woman, she is still standing in her circle laughing. Enraged, the trucker takes a gas tank out of his semi, douses the woman's car in gas, and sets it on fire. The woman bursts into hysteria.
"I just totaled your car!! What is so funny?!" The trucker shouts.
The blonde replies, "When you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle three times!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My favorite blonde joke.
A blonde was tired of all the a**... she received because she was blond so she decided to hang herself on a tree in a field.
A man walked by and saw what was happening, approached her he asked, "What are you doing?"
She replied, "I'm going to kill myself because I can't take the a**... anymore."
The man, confused, said, "Why are you hanging by your feet? Aren't you supposed to tie the rope around your neck."
She said, "I tried that but I couldn't breathe."
Importance of Planning
Why planning is important?
One night four college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.
The test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.
See below for the question paper.
Q.1. Your Name…….. ………
(2 MARKS)
Q.2. Which tyre burst?
(98 MARKS)
a) Front left
b) Front right
c) Back left
d) Back right
Taste the soup
A guy eating in a restaurant calls the waiter.
-Please taste the soup.
The confused waiter asks:
-Is the soup too hot?
-Just taste the soup...
-Is the soup too cold?
-Taste the soup.
-Is there a fly in the soup?
-Taste the soup!
The waiter, tired of guessing, gives up.
-Alright, alright, I'll taste the soup. Where's the spoon?
-Aha!
Two drunks are crawling on the railroad.
One says "I'm tired of climbing this ladder, when's our floor already?"
"No worries, I see an elevator coming."
A man asks a janitor in his office...
"Hey, don't you get tired being just a janitor?"
The janitor is taken aback. "Excuse me, let me tell you that even if I'm just a janitor, I have a kid each in Harvard, MIT, and Princeton."
"Wow," the man is surprised, "what courses are they taking?"
"Nah, they're janitors too."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Foreign s**...
A man decides he wants to have a one night stand with a foreign girl. So he meets a girl they go to the bedroom. After the first round, the man says to her, You finish? The girl shakes her head, no. So they do it again. Now the man is really tired. So he says, You finish? Again, she shakes her head. So they do it again. By now, the man is exhausted. So he says to the girl, You finish? The girl answers, No, I Norwegian .
The vet told me "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to put your dog down."
"Oh God!" I said. "WHY?!"
"Because my arms are getting tired."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Billy comes home early from school, only to find his Dad m**... in the living room...
As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."
Are you feeling sluggish and tired? Constantly yawning throughout your day?
There's a nap for that!
Confucius Say
Confucius say: Man who run behind bus get exhausted. Man who run in front of bus get tired.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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I'm sick and tired of people telling me to turn off lights to save the environment.
I tried it once and I killed a cyclist.
Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day.
I'm sorry.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Getting tired of these people who come to my door, telling me I'm gonna burn unless I'm saved...
The flashing lights on their trucks were pretty cool to see, though.
Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one?
Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted.
Why are soldiers always so tired on April 1st?
Because they have just finished a 31 day March.
Why are rubber tires black?
So the police know what to shoot at during a chase
A daughter is in a fierce argument with her father
The dad is yelling, she's inconsolable and crying. She finally gets sick and tired of it, and storms up to her bedroom.
Before entering, she lashes out at her father "Oh, and more thing: Jim Morrison is a terrible artist!"
The father, filled with rage yells back "Young lady, there will be NO slamming of The Doors in this house!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A boy walks in on his dad m**......
He asks him, "Daddy what are you doing?"
His dad responds, "Don't worry son, you'll be doing it soon."
The boy then asks, "Why's that daddy?"
His dad answers, "Because my arms getting tired.."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm tired of seeing "Hey OP, I banged your mom" comments every time I post a submission....
I never should have given dad my username.
A hat and a tie are out running
The tie gets tired and says he needs a break.
The hat replies "Don't worry. You hang around and I'll go on ahead."
Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
"Some, I assume, are good people"
I live with my wife in a two story house...
"I'm too tired" and "I have a headache" are the only two stories I hear...
Got my girlfriend today while airing up a tire
Her- "Why in the world did they start charging for AIR?!"
Me- "Inflation"
The wife and I took a long, leisurely drive out to the country and pulled over to fill up our car's gas tank and tires...
She was surprised to see that the station had a fee to fill the tires and asked me, "Why in the world do they charge for AIR?!"
I responded, "Inflation."
Running with a car
If you run in front of a car, you get tired.
If you run in back of a car, you get exhausted.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on an island
The redhead tries to swim back to land, gets a quarter of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
The brunette decides to try, swims a third of the way there, gets tired, and swims back.
Finally the blonde tries, swims half of the way there, gets tired, swims back.
A priest and a pastor are standing on the side of the road
They are holding a sign that reads "The end is near! Turn around now before it's too late!"
A passing driver yells, "You guys are nuts!" and speeds past them.
From around the corner they can hear screeching tires- then a big splash.
The priest turns to the pastor and says, "Do you think we should just put a sign up that says 'Bridge Out' instead?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I hate the reasons girls come up with to avoid s**...
"I'm tired, I've had a long day, I have a headache, I'm your sister"....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My friend believes The Office is the best television show, and belittles anyone that thinks otherwise
I'm so tired of these Dwight Supremacists
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I found a cure for my wife's insomnia...
All I have to do is express a desire to have s**... with her and immediately she is too tired to do anything but sleep.
Think New Yorkers don't get along? I just saw two complete strangers share a cab...
One took the wheels and tires, the other took the battery and the radio.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Told my boss he needs winter tires
Got fired. Apparently that's something offensive to say to people in wheelchairs.
How many feminists does it take to change a tire?
One, men can also be feminists
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was tired and bored one night, so I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, What'll you have? I said, Surprise me.
He showed me a n**... picture of my wife.
My wife asked me to buy organic vegetables from the market, so I went and looked around and couldn't find any. I grabbed an old, tired looking employee and asked, These vegetables are for my wife. Have they been sprayed with any poisonous chemicals?
The produce guy looked at me and said, No. You'll have to do that yourself.
The doctor gave me a Rorschach test and asked, "what do you see?"
I answered, "I see an old, sad, overworked man, tired of doing the same thing over and over, only visited when others need something from him, and never being appreciated enough".
"I appreciate your honesty", said the doctor, "but I meant, what do you see *on the picture*?
I fondly remember our childhood when Dad used to roll us down the hill in a tire.
Those were the Good Years.
My friend is pretty sick and tired of PC culture
I tried to console him but he didn't want his hand held
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An alterboy walks in while a priest m**....
The priest said don't look so shocked son ... you will be doing this soon.
Why is that Father?
Because my arm is getting tired.
God asked Adam to name the animals
Adam began to invent names, Lion, Tiger, Horse, Cow, Pig…
Then God said, You must name the sea animals, too
Adam was tired already, so he said, Sea lion, Tiger shark, Sea horse, Sea cow, Sea pig…
Actual conversation today. My wife: "i'm tired of anaesthesiology. What other area of medicine should I try?"
Me: I don't know. Emerg?
Wife: Nah, I want something lower stress. Hey, what about sleep medicine?
Me: Sleep medicine?
Wife: Like, helping people with sleep disorders and such. I wonder what sort of education i'd need?
Me: Probably night school.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why was the castle p**... tired all the time?
She worked knights.
Tired of constant blonde jokes, a blonde dyes her hair brown. She then goes for a drive in the country and sees a shepherd herding his sheep across the road.
"Hey, shepherd, if I guess how many sheep are here, can I keep one?"
The shepherd is puzzled but agrees. She blurts out "352!"
He is stunned but keeps his word and allows her to pick a sheep.
"I'll take this one," she says proudly. "It's the cutest!"
"Hey lady," says the shepherd, "If I guess your real hair color, can I have my dog back?"
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A desert island with six women
A bloke found himself stranded on a desert island with six women. To keep it fair, it was decided he would service a different woman every night and have Mondays free. After a few months the man was exhausted, realising how tiring it was to perform constantly every night except one. Then one day, to his joy, he found a man washed up on the beach who would be able to take some of the workload from him. However, his hopes were shattered when the man's first words were, "Hi, gorgeous, how about the kiss of life?"
'Oh f\*c**...,' thinks the man, 'there goes Mondays.'
Four college students get drunk together the night before their final exam.
They get so drunk that they wake up late and miss their exam. The four students go to the professor together and explain this elaborate lie that their car tire went flat when they were on their way to the exam. They beg for a retest, and the professor agrees.
The day of the makeup test, the four boys all arrive on time, completely sober. The professor looks at the boys, looks at his watch, and says you may begin the test.
The boys open the final booklet and to their surprise, they each only have one question.
Which tire was flat?
My neighbor grew tired of being a taxidermist after 15 years, and went to veterinarian school.
His new business never got off the ground so he decided to operate both his taxidermy and vet business together to save money. His new slogan was: "No Matter What Happens - You Get Your Cat Back."
What's a tired dragon's favorite steak?
Flaming yawn
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An African man visits his friend in the US
I just flew in yesterday the African man says And boy are my arms tired!
You know, that's kind of an old joke here in America replied his friend.
Joke? The African man said. I've been holding my hands in the air yelling 'don't shoot' ever since I got to this d**... country .
Sean Connery arrives at a grand hotel ready for filming the next day
The director meets him, and is delighted "great to see you, Sean, its an honour to have you join us for this project" he says.
"The pleasure is mine" Sean replies, "though it's been a long drive and I'm tired. Is my room ready?"
"Of course, of course, I have your key right here", he says handing over the key. "I appreciate its quite late so we'll have a bit of a later start tomorrow. Are you happy to meet us in the lobby for ten-ish?"
"Tennish?" asks Sean, "but I didn't even bring my racket!"
... An old joke in honor of the great man.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy falls in love with a very traditional and conservative girl...
…that means no s**... before marriage. But he does not care, he loves her. After a year of dating he decides its time to propose to her. So he heads to her father's house to ask for his blessing.
‟Hello, sir, I am here to ask for your daughter's hand
A bit skeptical and looking to see if he really does love her, the father asks ‟And why is that?
The guy lets out a long drawn out sigh… ‟Well, its just that mine have gotten tired.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Having invented a time machine I'm going to do the art world a favor
I'm going to make sure Adolf h**... never gets into art school. I'm tired of seeing his paintings everywhere.
My SUV needs all 4 tires replaced at a total cost of $800. That's more than the stimulus they gave us and so the wife freaked out a little.
I told her that it's no big deal and we can just rent a SUV for a day and it would only cost $50.
She said I was an idiot and that we would need an SUV for more then 24 hours.
Then I explained to her that it's more then enough time for me to swap the tires.
Why don't you run behind a car?
Because you will get exhausted.
Why don't you run on the side of the car?
Because you will get tired,
Why don't you run in front of a car?
Because you will get run over.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes into the streets of Moscow and yells :
I am tired of this guy with a silly mustache and s**... rules being a leader! A soldier heard him, so he goes and catches him, later he brings the man to Stalin. Soldier says to Stalin what happened and Stalin asks the man : Who were you thinking about when you yelled in the streets? Man responds: Of course i was thinking about h**...! ; Stalin lets him go but then he stops the soldier to say: Who were YOU thinking about?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Some y**... had the audacity to say us Texans were dumb for not having Snow Tires. Bless their heart.
We may not have as much experience as y'all Yanks when it comes to snow, but after tinkering with it a couple minutes I think all of us Texans can agree to try and make a tire out of snow is a pretty dumb idea.
We'll keep our tires made of rubber, thanks.
My local gas station started charging money just to put air in your tires
When I commented that this had been free for decades, the attendant just looked at me and said "that's inflation for you".
A man and a woman are talking in the office.
The man says: "I'm so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off."
The woman replies: "Don't worry, I have a way of doing that. Just watch me."
The woman proceeds to hang from a pipe.
Suddenly, the boss walks in a says: "What in the world are you doing?"
The woman replies: "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says: "You must've gone crazy from all that working, you can take the day off."
The woman leaves. The man follows.
The boss asks the man: "Where are you going?"
The man then replies: "I'm going home. I can't work in the dark."
I caught my girlfriend cheating with my best friend.
She was tired of getting beaten all the time, and he was jealous of all my money and property. I was so upset when I found out, that I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.
Groaned a whole store with this one.
I was buying new tires for my car. While I was discussing my options the person down the counter was flustered at the prices she was being offered. To this she loudly asked:
"I put the same ones on my husbands Jeep last year! What happened? Why are they so expensive?!"
To which I looked at over and loudly stated. "Inflation."
The guys behind the counter laughed. The rest of the room groaned out a chorus of dadjoke music that should have been filmed live in front of a studio audience.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm sick and tired of this "everybody wins" mentality kids have these days.
Seriously, they never exercise, lie in bed 12 hours a day, and sit down far more often than they stand up. And they still get atrophy.