Morbidly Jokes
53 morbidly jokes and hilarious morbidly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about morbidly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article explores morbidly jokes from a unique perspective. Explore the gruesome stories that a morbidly obese boy with a fedora would tell, as well as the jokes a bulimic would make in order to cope with their situation. Read on to discover dark humor in an unexpected place.
Funniest Morbidly Short Jokes
Short morbidly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The morbidly humour may include short terminally jokes also.
- My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
- What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can.
Morbid humor is one baby in 10 trash cans. - Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them! - Doctor: ""If you gain 5 more pounds, medically, you'll be morbidly obese." "Do you understand what this means?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm not morbidly obese now." - What is the difference between black, morbid and brutal humor? Black humor - 12 children in one trash can
Morbid humor - 1 children in 12 trash cans
Brutal humor - 12 trash cans in one children - What's in common with Chinese Rockets and telling morbid jokes to my friends? They never land properly.
- Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs. - I really want my own reality show on TLC. Did I mention that I am a morbidly obese little person with 18 children and I just escaped from Scientology!
- They classified a guy I work with morbidly obese which seems a little harsh... I mean, he has enough on his plate already.
- A new test was conducted to study how fat Americans are getting; the test results are as follows: 60% are deemed overweight
30% are deemed morbidly obese
10% ate the test
Share These Morbidly Jokes With Friends
Morbidly One Liners
Which morbidly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with morbidly? I can suggest the ones about mortuary and deadly.
- I'm not a necrophile... I'm just morbidly curious.
- Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
A: Because he could not pay the gas bill. - Morbid Humor What did one casket say to the other casket?
Was that you coffin? - What do you call a morbidly obese vegetarian? Megafauna.
- My psychic is 500 lbs and morbidly obese. They're a four-chin teller.
- What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A dead puppy! - Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor! - Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean?
A: An oil spill - Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
A: For buttering up her clients. - I don't know if it's just morbid curiosity but... I'm dying to go to a cemetery!
- His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
- Why can't the train lady have a baby? Because she's miss carriaged.^(is it morbid?)
- When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
- Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
- What is a morbidly obese persons favorite type of shot? A shot of insulin
Morbidly Obese Jokes
Here is a list of funny morbidly obese jokes and even better morbidly obese puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- When you're morbidly obese, you get shut down by lots of people. But the worst is when it comes from parents... MOTHER NATURE AND FATHER TIME.
- In High School they used to call me Big Tim, but it wasn't because of my height, Ladies ;).... .....its because I was Morbidly Obese.
- Most people don't know that boulders are morbidly obese. It's from having a sedimentary lifestyle.
- After charging morbidly obese people extra for their plane seats, air traffic companies hatched a plan to schedule special flights for morbidly obese people in the future... but it never took off.
- Hear my story on how I became morbidly obese. Call 888 8888 8888...
, yeah I know. It's okay, it's by Milton Jones... - Everyone at my university is morbidly obese, it's making my brain hurt Specifically, I think it's the hippo campus.
- Who was the morbidly obese inventor of the printing press? Johannes Glutenberg
- Dad, am I obese? No son, you're just being morbid
Fun-Filled Morbidly Jokes to Boost Your Mood
What funny jokes about morbidly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean miserably jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make morbidly pranks.
A lady with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously , she asks a crew member 'just how far away from land are we?' Calmly, he reassures her ' you have nothing to worry about ,we're only 5 kilometers from land.' Relieved, she inquires 'oh, in which direction?'
That would be straight down, Miss........
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In a crime scene....
"So, Rookie, What do you make of all this?"
"Well, the vic was found n**... in bed, severely beaten to death. Sounds like a clear cut m**... case if you ask me"
"close. Our prime suspect is his wife, a morbidly obese woman who says he asked to be on the bottom during s**..."
"So it was a s**... then...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the medical term for a fat cow?
Morbidly o-beef
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
I thought of a morbid joke
But I'm not gonna make it.
-
-
-
My girlfriend said this with another joke in mind but I thought the way she brought it up made a nice subtle joke on it's own.
here is something morbidly ironic
my grandmother uh she was a cancer and she was actually killed by a giant crab
A morbidly obese man sees a doctor and tells him that neither his horrid diet nor lack of exercise is the issue
"It just runs in my family" says the man.
"No," says the doctor, "the problem is that nobody runs in your family!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q: What was the one thing h**... did well?
A: Kill himself.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato when they were out for a walk?
What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato when they were out for a walk?
The father tomato looks back and sees his child way behind him, he runs back to him, stomps on him and yells "KETCHUP!"
Update:
it may be morbid, but that is the life cycle for these tomatos.
