Morbid Jokes

Are you looking for a good laugh that will both amuse and terrify? Look no further. This article has a collection of morbid jokes sure to bring a chuckle to even the most hardened of adults. Get ready for gore, the macabre, and lots of dark humour about mortality. Prepare to hear about morbid nurses, morbid orphans, morbid medical jokes, and even morbid Christmas jokes. But beware, only those with a stomach for gallows humour need proceed.

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Short Morbid Jokes
Morbid One Liners
Morbid Baby Jokes
More Morbid Jokes

Best Short Morbid Jokes

These are our top morbid puns. Have fun with a good morbid joke in English with simple morbid humour.

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese. As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.
What do you call 2 fat goths? Morbidly obese.
I know I shouldnt joke about obese people they've got enough on their plate.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor? dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can.
Morbid humor is one baby in 10 trash cans.
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common?
A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
Doctor: ""If you gain 5 more pounds, medically, you'll be morbidly obese." "Do you understand what this means?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm not morbidly obese now."
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
What is the difference between black, morbid and brutal humor? Black humor - 12 children in one trash can
Morbid humor - 1 children in 12 trash cans
Brutal humor - 12 trash cans in one children
How are morbidly obese people and child molesters alike? Both want to get into smaller pants.
Q: What is brown, small, and smells of caramel?
A: A diabetic who's been struck by lightning.
What's in common with Chinese Rockets and telling morbid jokes to my friends? They never land properly.

Morbid joke, What's in common with Chinese Rockets and telling morbid jokes to my friends?

Make fun with this list of one liners, gags and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor found in these morbid jokes can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of morbid puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, these jokes offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Morbid One Liners

Which morbid dad jokes are funny enough to crack down and make fun with morbid?

I'm not a necrophile... I'm just morbidly curious.
Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
Q: Why did hitter kill himself?
A: Because he could not pay the gas bill.
Why didn't the pc gamer cross the street ? Because he's morbidly obese
What is the medical term for a fat cow? Morbidly o-beef
Morbid Humor What did one casket say to the other casket?
Was that you coffin?
What do you call a morbidly obese vegetarian? Megafauna.
Saw an over weight goth today, I thought to myself, he's morbidly obese.
What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
My psychic is 500 lbs and morbidly obese. They're a four-chin teller.
What do you call a morbidly obese person who can predict the future? A four-chin teller.
What do you buy a dead baby for its birthday?
A dead puppy!
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor!
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean?
A: An oil spill
[MORBID] What do black people and apples have in common? They both look better hanging.

Morbid Baby Jokes

Here is a list of funny morbid baby jokes and even better morbid baby puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Q: How many dead babies can you fit in a blender?
A: I don't know, I just like to hear them scream.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Chips.
Mary held her little daughter,
twenty minutes under water.
Not to care for any troubles,
just to look at those funny bubbles.
Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies?
A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
Why can't the train lady have a baby? Because she's miss carriaged.^(is it morbid?)
Q: How do you know if your baby is dead?
A: Your 3-year-old daughter has put on allot of weight in the last day or two.
Some morbid baby jokes What's scarier then ten babies in o**...?
A: One baby in ten jars
How do you got a baby in a container?
A: blend it.
Q: What did the baby say as I threw it in the blender?
A: I didn't catch it, I was too busy m**....

Amusing Morbid Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about morbid to tell and make people laugh ? Check out these list of good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make morbid prank.

Why do cannibals make suitcases out of people's heads?
Because they're headcases.

Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined?
A: For buttering up her clients.

Q: What does your Mama and a slinky have in common?
A: They aren't much to look at but you can't help cracking a smile when you see it tumbling down the stairs.

Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour?
A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.

Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog.

When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"

Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.

Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.

When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.

Q: What did h**... get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday?
A: An easy bake oven.

Q: What was the one thing h**... did well?
A: Kill himself.

A morbid joke

If serial killers kill people in series, are s**... b**... parallel killers?

I used to have a morbid fear of German sausage.....

Its been hard, Ive been through therapy but now I think I'm over the wurst.

what's the difference between mean and morbid?

mean: five children in one dustbin
morbid: one child in five dustbins

I don't know if it's just morbid curiosity but...

I'm dying to go to a cemetery!

A morbidly obese man sees a doctor and tells him that neither his horrid diet nor lack of exercise is the issue

"It just runs in my family" says the man.
"No," says the doctor, "the problem is that nobody runs in your family!"

The sheriff's department auctioned off a bankrupt crematorium yesterday.

I was surprised there wasn't morbid, but it's a tough way to urn a living.

I remember having this little plastic cut out shapes to help with drawing when I was little.

I used to be really obsessive about them actually, I'd spend hours. But there would always be more to draw around.
Then I had this realization, that I'd never be done. I'd run out before I could finish. It was weirdly horrifying and morbid.
But anyway that's the story of my first extra stencil crisis.

I thought of a morbid joke

But I'm not gonna make it.
-
-
-
My girlfriend said this with another joke in mind but I thought the way she brought it up made a nice subtle joke on it's own.

How much did the morbidly obese Chinese woman weigh?

Wonton.

When you're morbidly obese, you get shut down by lots of people. But the worst is when it comes from parents...

MOTHER NATURE AND FATHER TIME.

I asked my boss if he'd run over a few things with me.

I think I'm a bit too morbid to be a tractor driver.

here is something morbidly ironic

my grandmother uh she was a cancer and she was actually killed by a giant crab

What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato when they were out for a walk?

What did the father tomato say to the baby tomato when they were out for a walk?
The father tomato looks back and sees his child way behind him, he runs back to him, stomps on him and yells "KETCHUP!"
Update:
it may be morbid, but that is the life cycle for these tomatos.

A woman with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously,she asks a crew member 'how far away from land are we?' He reassures her' don't worry,we're only 5 miles from land'. Relieved, she says 'oh,in which direction?'

'That would be straight down Ma'am', he replies..

A lady with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously , she asks a crew member 'just how far away from land are we?' Calmly, he reassures her ' you have nothing to worry about ,we're only 5 kilometers from land.' Relieved, she inquires 'oh, in which direction?'

That would be straight down, Miss........

Morbid joke, What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like kids and toddlers can enjoy. They can be verbal, as in a play on words, or narrative, often involving a set-up and a punchline. JokoJokes has it all! Jokes in Spanish are also found. Teens are often joking with 4 year olds and 6 year olds. Found out more in our Jokes FAQ section

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The impact of these morbid jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.