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Moral Jokes

88 moral jokes and hilarious moral puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about moral that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Moral Short Jokes

Short moral jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The moral humour may include short ethics jokes also.

  1. When the economy is good, people drink. When the economy is bad, people drink. The moral? Invest in alcohol
  2. Who's seen the movie "Up"? The moral is that you can't have a real adventure until your wife dies.
  3. What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
  4. The Stanley Cup final will feature a morally bankrupt city, that is built on corruption, greed, and deceit... Against Las Vegas.
  5. A co-worker asked me "How's it going?" Me: "I can't complain."
    Coworker: "Hey it's great you're having a good day!"
    Me: "No I mean I literally can't complain. HR said it's affecting morale."
  6. As you grow up, you will start to see that people morality is not necessarily connected to their relation with the law. While the outlaws are bad, the in-laws can be much worse.
  7. Why is there no clear distinction concerning the morality of altering one's personality through brain surgery? Because, it's a bit of a grey matter!
  8. The only thing Trump has bankrupted more than his businesses is Half the the country's morals.
  9. I swear to god, people these days have no morals whatsoever I was at church today and some scumbag lit a cigarette with an alter candle, I was so shocked I almost dropped my beer
  10. I once dated two girls called Kate and Edith. Unfortunately Kate found out and told Edith and they both broke up with me! Moral of the story is you can't have your Kate and Edith too

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Moral One Liners

Which moral one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with moral? I can suggest the ones about philosophical and right and wrong.

  1. If a special ed kid is late to class Is it morally wrong to call him tardy?
  2. Why are lawyers always so constipated? Lack of moral fiber.
  3. I like my women how I like my wars Foreign, expensive, and of dubious morality.
  4. What's Spiderman's best feature? He's an excellent parker with great morales.
  5. What do you call a British spider man? Kilometres Morales
  6. How does an alcoholic keep up their morale? With More ale
  7. Ellen Pao's ethics and morals.
  8. I've never supported the study of the moral compass. It's just con science.
  9. Diabetes doesn't care about your morality It cares about your molarity
  10. What do you get when you cross a Jew and a cop? A moral dilemma.
  11. The last time my priest gave me moral guidance He forgot the "m" .
  12. What do you call a morality story with sharp teeth and green scales? An allegory.
  13. If electricity comes from electrons does morality come from morons?
  14. Where do apples get their moral values Core beliefs
  15. What do you call someone with bad morals on four wheels? A Predatower

Moral Stories Jokes

Here is a list of funny moral stories jokes and even better moral stories puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I finally know the moral of the story "beauty and the beast"... As long as you're rich and have a nice house, a girl will eventually fall for you.
  • I always thought my kitchen was worth more, until I had my house appraised. Moral of the story: Don't take your countertops for granite.
  • There once was a man who was just a head. He wished to be anything but a head.
    So he became a grape.
    The moral of the story? Quit while you're a head.
  • What do you call a short moral story told by the 45th vice president of america? An al gorey
  • Sport b**... At age 25 men play basketball
    At age 40 men play tennis
    At age 60 men play golf
    The moral of the story is the older you get the smaller your b**... get

Moral Compass Jokes

Here is a list of funny moral compass jokes and even better moral compass puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What compass can help you even when it is broken? A moral compass
  • My moral compass is broken... ...so I got an ethical GPS instead. It gives lousy directions but I always end up meeting the nicest people.
Moral joke, My moral compass is broken...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about moral can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of moral puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Heartwarming Moral Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about moral you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean spiritual jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make moral prank.

I need your support

Her: What's wrong?
Him: I had a bad day. I need your o**... support.
Her: You mean moral
Him: No!

My girlfriend...

... invited me to her house, I found her sister alone in the house, she was unbelievably s**..., she whispered in my ear, "i have feelings for you, shall we have s**..." , I immediately turned around and walked to the front door to go to my car, I found my girlfriend standing there, she hugged me and said: "you've won my trust"... Moral of the story: always keep your condoms in the car

Moral decline of the modern world

Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.
"I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?"
"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"

I was Jesus last time!

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson..
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'

Czech and a Mexican

A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican go camping, while they were in the woods the Czech gets eaten by a bear. So the Mexican runs to find the park ranger and says "park ranger a bear ate my friend"
The park ranger and the Mexican find two bears, a male and a female. The park ranger asked the Mexican which ate his friend he points to the male and the ranger kills him and guts him there are no remains of the Czech man in the bear. Moral of the story never trust a Mexican when he says the Check is in the male

My girlfriend invited me to her house...

My girlfriend invited me to her house where I found her sister alone. So I sat their waiting for my girlfriend while her unbelievably s**... sister was waiting their with me. A few minutes go by, then she comes up next to me and whispers in my ear "we should have s**... before my sister comes home." I immediately got up turned around and walked to my car when I found my girlfriend standing by the door at which point she hugged me and said "you've earned my trust" Moral of the story, always keep your condoms in your car.

A man goes over to his girlfriend's house..

But when he arrives her friend answers the door, she tells him to sit down, he does, she then starts talking about s**..., how much she likes him, and finally, that they should cheat on the girlfriend. The man stands up, and with a blank face, walks outside. At his car is his girlfriend, who runs up to him and tells him, "I trust you." He smiles as they drive off.
Moral of the story: Always keep your condoms in the car

What kind of m**... has moral fiber?

A cereal killer

Men are greedy b**....

A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." says the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand.
The husband says, "Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.
Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful b**... should remember - fairies are female.

A pastor and a wife are talking to each other...

and then the pastor asks: Oh, I remember seeing your husband getting up in the middle of one of my homily(for those who aren't christian, its ~~ a moral talk).
Wife: Oh, sorry. He's just started sleepwalking recently...
*Ninja

(-i)^2=-1.

Moral: If you fiddle with imaginary problems too much, s**...'s gonna get real.

A lawyer is about to go home for the night...

...when a client shows up, asking for his council. The lawyer decides to stay late and work with the client. Afterwards, the client asks how much he owes for the lawyer's time.
"One hundred dollars," the lawyer responds.
The client pays him and walks out, at which point the lawyer realizes it's two hundred dollar bills stuck together. This leaves the lawyer with a moral dilemma...
Does he tell his partner?

Black guy and Jewish Genie

A black man is walking along the beach one day, when he finds a bottle. He picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Jewish Genie.
"I vill grant you 3 vishes"
Without hesitating, the man says "I wanna be White, Tight, and out of sight!"
*p**...*
He turns into a t**... ....

What's the moral of the story?
You never get anything from a Jew, without a string attached.

[jeopardy]

"The Bible for $500 Alex"
Alex: The moral in Genesis
"What is don't walk with a Cain if you're Abel?"
Alex: We'll accept that

I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect..

Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.

I lost my faith in this world...

Today they offered me to have s**... with a s**... 21 years old girl as long as I would publicize the new detergent CL-UP! to all my Whatsapp list. Obviously I didn't do it since my moral is really strong, almost as strong as the new detergent CL-UP for only 6.99$!!!

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today...

My girlfriend's sister invited me to have s**... with her today while we were waiting for my girlfriend to get home. I didn't say anything and started to walk to my car. As I opened the door, my girlfriend came out from the kitchen and hugged me with tears in her eyes as she told me that it was a test of loyalty and I had passed!
Moral of the story: keep your condoms in your car

A cat entered a barn

A cat entered a barn:
Meooow!
All the mice hid. The cat broke the silence again:
Woof, woof!
All the mice came out of hiding. The moral: It's always good to study a second language.

There once was a dog who like to walk the railroad tracks

One day he was a little too close as a train came by and it clipped off the end of his tail. Wondering where it went, he peered over the tracks and the train took his head clean off.
The moral of the story, never risk your head for a little bit of tail.

A cat was sitting next to a train track when a train came by,

cutting of the cat's tail. The cat looked around to see what happened just in time to get his head cut off.
Moral of the story: Don't lose your head over a piece of tail.

A dog lays by the railroad tracks..

And falls asleep with his tail hanging over them a little. A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too.
Moral of the story? Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.
This is my grandpa's favorite joke. He has Alzheimers and can't remember much, but this joke is on constant replay and you can see the old twinkle in his eye when he tells it.

Today I was offered s**...

I was offered s**... today, with a 21 year old girl, in exchange I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standards with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner, now available scented lemon or vanilla.
- Source - facebook though it was funny so I though I'd share.

Today I was offered s**... by an 18 year old female...

Now I'm not gonna lie this chick was smoking hot. In exchange for the s**... I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner for her. Of course I, being the great person that I am, declined because I have high moral standards and my willpower is very strong.....but not as nearly as strong as Ajax, the safe and affordable bathroom cleaner, now available in lemon and vanilla scents

My girlfriend invites me to her home, and she wasn't there, but her sister, who leaned in and said:

''We should have s**... right here, when my sister isn't here.'', I got up, and ran to my car, when my girlfriend stood there with a smile. ''I knew I could trust you!'' she said when she hugged me and kissed me passionate.
Moral of the story: Always keep condoms in the car.

Tortoise won the race but the Rabbit got to sleep

I think we all know who the real winner is.f**... moral science.

All about a Girl and you...!

If girl is with you - Restaurant Bill

If girl is far from you - Mobile bill

If girl is separated from you - Than Bar Bill.

Moral - No Girl - No Bills!

A dog comes upon a set of train tracks

As the pup crosses the tracks a train comes by and runs over the dogs tail, causing the tip of his tail to fall off.
Saddened by his loss, the dog turn around to sniff his lost appendage.
As he is sniffing his tail another train comes by and cuts his head off.
The end.
The moral of the story:
Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail!

Translated Indian joke: Don't speak while you're eating.

Husband & Wife dining in a hotel:
Hubby: I wanna tell you something.
Wife: It's not good manners to talk while eating.
.
(After Eating)
Wife: Now tell me.
Hubby: There was a cockroach in your Biryani !!!
Moral:
Listen to your Husband once in a while

I was offered s**... from a 21 year old girl today

In exchange for that I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner to my friends. Of course I declined because I am a person of high moral standing with strong will power. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner now available with lemon or vanilla.

If a lady doth entertain many a suitor in a fortnight, she is of questionable moral character...

But should a gentleman follow suit, a true and confirmed bachelor is *that* dear fellow! Huzzah!

Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: sure, why not! So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
**Moral of the story**: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

How do you measure Hurricane Harvey?

With a Moral Barometer

So there was a tribal chief who decided he needed the biggest hut in the village...

so he gathered the grass he needed and built the only two story hut in the village. He placed his throne on the second story and held audiences there. One night while he slept the throne fell through the floor and crushed his head. The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.

A young m**... on his first term in Africa..

..was reading his bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of the bush and laid down on his other side. Convinced that this was a test of his faith, he returned to reading his bible. As soon as he did, the two lions pounced on him and devoured him. Moral: Do not try to read between the lions.

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two... but I don't understand how they'd fit in it and as a proud and moral Polish person I am offended that they always try to include me in their debauchery.

Why is the word llama spelled with two L's?

The second one is for moral support!

If one's wealth was determined by how closely one follows a moral code

Evangelicals would finally be as poor as Jesus wants them to be

Two Eskimos were sitting in their kayak and started getting cold.

So they decided to build a fire. Of course shortly after the kakak sank.
The moral of the story is you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today.

I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today. In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a person with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available with scented lemon or vanilla.

Told my nephew the story of the grasshopper and the ant. The ant saved up for winter while the grasshopper didn't. I asked my nephew at the end of the story Me:What is the moral of the story?

Nephew: You should never live in a Fall's sense of security

Two kinda oldish guys visit a casino...

And they arrive at the Roulette table. "Hey, what number should we bet on?" "I dunno. How often do you have s**... in a week?" "12 times." "AWESOME! Me too! Let's bet on 12!".
The ball spins around and around and finally settles on the Zero.
Moral: Be honest.

An old woman visits a lawyer to draw up a will. He completes the process and charges her $100. She hands him a crisp, brand new $100 bill and as she turns to leave the lawyer notices another $100 bill stuck to it. His moral dilemma is causing him great discomfort because...

He can't decide if he should tell his partner.

My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch Netflix.

She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her s**... sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have s**... before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.

Before s**..., you help each other get n**.... After s**..., you dress only yourself.

Moral: In life no one helps you once you're s**....

I believe that all convicted rapists should be castrated by the state...

I have no moral or philosophical reasoning behind this belief. I just really need a job right now.

I was offered s**... with a 21 year old girl today…

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I declined, because I am a man with high moral standards and strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in lemon and vanilla scents!

Superstition

I was trimming my nails when my Grandfather said with a sigh "You should not cut your nails on Thursdays".
I had never adhered to these superstition but out of curiosity I asked, "What happens when I cut my nails on Thursday?"
He explained, "You see the weekend starts tomorrow Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's difficult to open the beer cans and the Lays packs without the nails."
Moral: Some superstitions do have a scientific basis!

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion…

After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

I was offered a good hot time today by a hot 21 year old redhead

In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I said no as I have high moral standards and very strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.

Jesus and the Devil have challenged each other to a typing battle on MS Word

It's a close battle and they're down to the last word, when boom! Power outage!
When the power outage is resolved, all of the Devil's progress was lost, but Jesus only had one word to type!
Moral of the story: Jesus saves, and so should you.

Be first

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."

Why banks fail

Why banks failed?
A n**... & drunk woman boards a cab in America.
Driver of the cab, keeps staring at her and does not start the cab
Woman: Haven't you seen a n**... woman before?
Cabbie: calm down. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me?
Moral:
This is what most of the banks failed to do. Assessing the repayment capacity before enjoying exposure…

Moral joke, Why are lawyers always so constipated?

jokes about moral

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these moral jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.