Moral Jokes
85 moral jokes and hilarious moral puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about moral that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Moral Short Jokes
Short moral jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The moral humour may include short ethics jokes also.
- When the economy is good, people drink. When the economy is bad, people drink. The moral? Invest in alcohol
- Who's seen the movie "Up"? The moral is that you can't have a real adventure until your wife dies.
- What do you get when you cross a duck and a pig? A media circus that focuses on the morals and ethics of genetic engineering.
- The Stanley Cup final will feature a morally bankrupt city, that is built on corruption, greed, and deceit... Against Las Vegas.
- A co-worker asked me "How's it going?" Me: "I can't complain."
Coworker: "Hey it's great you're having a good day!"
Me: "No I mean I literally can't complain. HR said it's affecting morale." - As you grow up, you will start to see that people morality is not necessarily connected to their relation with the law. While the outlaws are bad, the in-laws can be much worse.
- Why is there no clear distinction concerning the morality of altering one's personality through brain surgery? Because, it's a bit of a grey matter!
- There once was a priest from Siberia... whose morals were rather inferior.
He did to a nun
What he shouldn't have done
And made her a mother superior. - I gave the woman next door the Corona virus The husband was fuming, and I feel morally guilty it goes against what I've been taught.
Thou shall no COVID the neighbors wife.. - Dropped off a small meal to the lady next door with questionable morals. Let's be kind to our neighbors, y'all. Just a little food for thot.
Share These Moral Jokes With Friends
Moral One Liners
Which moral one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with moral? I can suggest the ones about philosophical and right and wrong.
- If a special ed kid is late to class Is it morally wrong to call him tardy?
- What's Spiderman's best feature? He's an excellent parker with great morales.
- What do you call a British spider man? Kilometres Morales
- How does an alcoholic keep up their morale? With More ale
- Ellen Pao's ethics and morals.
- I've never supported the study of the moral compass. It's just con science.
- Diabetes doesn't care about your morality It cares about your molarity
- The last time my priest gave me moral guidance He forgot the "m" .
- What do you call a morality story with sharp teeth and green scales? An allegory.
- Where do apples get their moral values Core beliefs
- What do you call someone with bad morals on four wheels? A Predatower
- What compass can help you even when it is broken? A moral compass
- Why is the word llama spelled with two L's? The second one is for moral support!
- How do you measure Hurricane Harvey? With a Moral Barometer
- What's the most morally acceptable herb? A tarragon of virtue.
Moral Stories Jokes
Here is a list of funny moral stories jokes and even better moral stories puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I always thought my kitchen was worth more, until I had my house appraised. Moral of the story: Don't take your countertops for granite.
- There once was a man who was just a head. He wished to be anything but a head.
So he became a grape.
The moral of the story? Quit while you're a head. - What do you call a short moral story told by the 45th vice president of america? An al gorey
Moral Compass Jokes
Here is a list of funny moral compass jokes and even better moral compass puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My moral compass is broken... ...so I got an ethical GPS instead. It gives lousy directions but I always end up meeting the nicest people.
Heartwarming Moral Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about moral you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spiritual jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make moral pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I need your support
Her: What's wrong?
Him: I had a bad day. I need your o**... support.
Her: You mean moral
Him: No!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Corporate Lessons
**Lesson No. 1**
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit saw the crow and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing at all the whole day?"
The crow answered: ""Sure, why not."
So the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, leapt on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral: *To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.*
**Lesson No. 2**
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't the energy."
"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings," replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients."
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him the strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fortnight, he proudly perched at the top of the tree.
Soon, he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral: *b**... might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.*
Moral decline of the modern world
Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.
"I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?"
"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Office jokes.
A rabbit saw a bird sitting on a branch doing nothing and thought it looked good so he asked the bird, "Hey! That look good. Can I sit here and do nothing too?"
The bird nodded.
As soon as the rabbit sat down the the base of the tree a fox ran up and ate the rabbit.
Moral of the story? When you want to sit and do nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
---
A turkey wanted to climb a tree and tried as hard as he could but could only make it to the first branch.
So he asked his strong bovine friend for help, "Hey can you help me get to the top of that tree?"
"Sure," he replied, "Just eat some of my dropping as they are packed with nutrients!"
The turkey did and was able to reach the 3rd branch. So he decides to eat even more and this time he makes it to the 7th. Then he eats as much as he possible can and he finally made it to the top!
Then he got tired and the wind easily blew him off and he hit the ground and died.
Moral of the story? b**... may get you to the top but it wont keep you there.
I can't morally support unnatural hair.
God made Adam and Eve not Adam and weave.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Czech and a Mexican
A Czechoslovakian and a Mexican go camping, while they were in the woods the Czech gets eaten by a bear. So the Mexican runs to find the park ranger and says "park ranger a bear ate my friend"
The park ranger and the Mexican find two bears, a male and a female. The park ranger asked the Mexican which ate his friend he points to the male and the ranger kills him and guts him there are no remains of the Czech man in the bear. Moral of the story never trust a Mexican when he says the Check is in the male
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend invited me to her house...
My girlfriend invited me to her house where I found her sister alone. So I sat their waiting for my girlfriend while her unbelievably s**... sister was waiting their with me. A few minutes go by, then she comes up next to me and whispers in my ear "we should have s**... before my sister comes home." I immediately got up turned around and walked to my car when I found my girlfriend standing by the door at which point she hugged me and said "you've earned my trust" Moral of the story, always keep your condoms in your car.
The other day I was in charge of finding a caterer for this big event I was hosting.
Through a lucky series of events, I was able to book Bobby Flay's brother for the night! I thought it would be great, but once he cooked it all, the main course was terrible and people were complaining about food poisoning the whole night.
Moral of the story: Don't judge a cook by his brother.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What kind of m**... has moral fiber?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Men are greedy b**....
A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband." says the wife. 2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand.
The husband says, "Sorry love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92.
Moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful b**... should remember - fairies are female.
A pastor and a wife are talking to each other...
and then the pastor asks: Oh, I remember seeing your husband getting up in the middle of one of my homily(for those who aren't christian, its ~~ a moral talk).
Wife: Oh, sorry. He's just started sleepwalking recently...
*Ninja
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
(-i)^2=-1.
Moral: If you fiddle with imaginary problems too much, s**...'s gonna get real.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Black guy and Jewish Genie
A black man is walking along the beach one day, when he finds a bottle. He picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Jewish Genie.
"I vill grant you 3 vishes"
Without hesitating, the man says "I wanna be White, Tight, and out of sight!"
*p**...*
He turns into a t**... ....
What's the moral of the story?
You never get anything from a Jew, without a string attached.
[jeopardy]
"The Bible for $500 Alex"
Alex: The moral in Genesis
"What is don't walk with a Cain if you're Abel?"
Alex: We'll accept that
I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words. She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect..
Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I lost my faith in this world...
Today they offered me to have s**... with a s**... 21 years old girl as long as I would publicize the new detergent CL-UP! to all my Whatsapp list. Obviously I didn't do it since my moral is really strong, almost as strong as the new detergent CL-UP for only 6.99$!!!
Two Guys, The Summer, And The Confessional
A young man goes to confession with his friend on the first day of summer. When he enters the confessional, he says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned... I have been with a woman of poor moral fiber."
Priest: "That's sad to hear young man... I must ask... was it Jenny Armstrong?"
Young Man: "I cannot say father."
Priest: "Was it Sarah Smith?"
Young Man: "I will not say, father."
Priest: "It must have been Michelle Geller."
Young Man: "Father, I will not say."
Priest: "I admire your conviction, but you must atone. Don't return to service for two weeks, or until you have said 4 Hail Mary's and 10 Our Fathers."
The young man leaves and sees his friend on the way out. "What did you get?' his friend asks. He replies, "two weeks of summer vacation and three good leads."
A cat entered a barn
A cat entered a barn:
Meooow!
All the mice hid. The cat broke the silence again:
Woof, woof!
All the mice came out of hiding. The moral: It's always good to study a second language.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There once was a dog who like to walk the railroad tracks
One day he was a little too close as a train came by and it clipped off the end of his tail. Wondering where it went, he peered over the tracks and the train took his head clean off.
The moral of the story, never risk your head for a little bit of tail.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A cat was sitting next to a train track when a train came by,
cutting of the cat's tail. The cat looked around to see what happened just in time to get his head cut off.
Moral of the story: Don't lose your head over a piece of tail.
A dog lays by the railroad tracks..
And falls asleep with his tail hanging over them a little. A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too.
Moral of the story? Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.
This is my grandpa's favorite joke. He has Alzheimers and can't remember much, but this joke is on constant replay and you can see the old twinkle in his eye when he tells it.
THIS MAN WAS GIVEN A MORAL DILEMMA AT HIS JOB INTERVIEW. HIS ANSWER IS GENIUS.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The moral of the story...
A newlywed man arrives home one day. As he ascends the stairs and enters the bedroom he sees his wife's sister sprawled on the bed completely n**....
"I've always had a thing for you since you started dating my sister", she says. "You can have me right now anyway you want me. I won't tell a soul."
The man immediately does an about face and goes down the stairs and out the front door. Outside waiting is his wife. She immediately walks up to him and embraces him.
"Honey I'm so proud of you!", the wife says. "You resisted temptation and now I know I can trust you the rest of my life."
The moral of the story? Always keep your condoms in your car.
What do you call a gang of moral supremacists marching in the streets, waving flags and telling other people what to do?
Pride.
Moral relativism is good
... sometimes.
A father and son went on a camping trip
An uneducated father with his educated son went on a camping trip.
They set-up their tent and fell asleep.
Some hours later, the father woke up his son.
Father : "Look up to the sky and tell me what you see?"
Son : "I see millions of stars."
Father : "And what does that tell you?"
Son : "Astronomically, it tells that there are millions of galaxies and planets."
Father slaps the son hard and says, "Idiot, someone has stolen our tent"
MORAL : Too much education can spoil or common sense.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend invited me to her house...
where I found her sister alone. So I sat there waiting for my girlfriend, while her unbelievably s**... sister was sitting their with me. A few moments go by, and then she comes up next to me, and whispers in my ear 'we should have s**... before my sister comes home.' I immediately got up and turned around to walk to my car. I found my girlfriend standing by the door, at which point she hugged me and said 'you've won my trust.' Moral of the story, always keep your condoms in your car.
Confucius say priest who preach atop mountain
often take moral high ground.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tortoise won the race but the Rabbit got to sleep
I think we all know who the real winner is.f**... moral science.
All about a Girl and you...!
If girl is with you - Restaurant Bill
If girl is far from you - Mobile bill
If girl is separated from you - Than Bar Bill.
Moral - No Girl - No Bills!
Translated Indian joke: Don't speak while you're eating.
Husband & Wife dining in a hotel:
Hubby: I wanna tell you something.
Wife: It's not good manners to talk while eating.
.
(After Eating)
Wife: Now tell me.
Hubby: There was a cockroach in your Biryani !!!
Moral:
Listen to your Husband once in a while
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a lady doth entertain many a suitor in a fortnight, she is of questionable moral character...
But should a gentleman follow suit, a true and confirmed bachelor is *that* dear fellow! Huzzah!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: sure, why not! So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
**Moral of the story**: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.
So there was a tribal chief who decided he needed the biggest hut in the village...
so he gathered the grass he needed and built the only two story hut in the village. He placed his throne on the second story and held audiences there. One night while he slept the throne fell through the floor and crushed his head. The moral of this story is that people who live in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A teacher instructs her fifth-grade class to ask their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end.
The next day the kids come in and share their stories. "My daddy told me about my uncle Dave," says one boy. "He was a pilot in Vietnam and had to bail out over enemy territory with nothing but a flask of whiskey, a p**..., and a knife. He drank the whiskey during the drop, then landed in the middle of 20 Charlies. He shot 15, stabbed three, and killed the last two with his bare hands."
"What is the moral of this horrible story?" yelps the mortified teacher.
"Stay away from Uncle Dave when he's drinking."
First Pancake
A young mother was preparing breakfast for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3. They both said they wanted pancakes. As the pancakes were almost finished and the syrup was being heated in the microwave, the boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother, who was also a Sunday School teacher, saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. She said, If Jesus were sitting here, he would say 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, Ryan, you be Jesus.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I finally know the moral of the story "beauty and the beast"...
As long as you're rich and have a nice house, a girl will eventually fall for you.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A girl asked me to have s**... with her
I was at the shopping mall yesterday and met this 21-year-old girl who was a laundry detergent promoter. She told me she would have s**... with me if I advertised her product to all my friends and contacts.
I was sadly amazed and obviously did not accept her offer because I am much older than her and I have strong moral principles and a clean soul.
A very clean soul... almost as clean as your laundry after being washed with the new AXON liquid detergent, super strong, coming with vanilla and lemon flavors for only $4.99.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young m**... on his first term in Africa..
..was reading his bible in a clearing when a lion came up and laid down beside him. As he quietly prayed for deliverance, another lion came out of the bush and laid down on his other side. Convinced that this was a test of his faith, he returned to reading his bible. As soon as he did, the two lions pounced on him and devoured him. Moral: Do not try to read between the lions.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
moral of the story
A man is in the bar talking to his friend about what happened to him the other night. He tells the story of how he went home, and his fiancee's younger sister was waiting for him in l**.... The sister told him what she wanted him to do to her in graphic detail.
The man froze for a second and then open the door and walked out. His future in\-laws were waiting outside and told him that this was a test of his faithfulness to his future wife.
The man told his friend that the moral of the story was to keep your condoms in your car.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm in somewhat of a moral dilemma
I've recently gotten really into the whole b**... thing, you know, the chains, the whips, I'm the master, she's the s**.....
But I'm kinda only into black chicks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you cross a Jew and a cop?
A moral dilemma.
Told my nephew the story of the grasshopper and the ant. The ant saved up for winter while the grasshopper didn't. I asked my nephew at the end of the story Me:What is the moral of the story?
Nephew: You should never live in a Fall's sense of security
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two kinda oldish guys visit a casino...
And they arrive at the Roulette table. "Hey, what number should we bet on?" "I dunno. How often do you have s**... in a week?" "12 times." "AWESOME! Me too! Let's bet on 12!".
The ball spins around and around and finally settles on the Zero.
Moral: Be honest.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch Netflix.
She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her s**... sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have s**... before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Before s**..., you help each other get n**.... After s**..., you dress only yourself.
Moral: In life no one helps you once you're s**....
A popular joke within the Jewish community: Four Rabbis are arguing late at night over a passage of the Talmud
Three of the four rabbis argue that the text proves humanity is inherently evil. The fourth rabbi argues that human consciousness means we can choose all of our actions without moral disposition.
After three more hours of arguing, the fourth rabbi shouts, ADONAI, IF I AM CORRECT, GIVE ME A SIGN!
All of the sudden, lighting cracks directly next to the synagogue, splitting a tree perfectly in half without singeing a single leaf or blade of grass below.
The first three rabbis pause, before one of them declares,
* That's still two against three! *
Superstition
I was trimming my nails when my Grandfather said with a sigh "You should not cut your nails on Thursdays".
I had never adhered to these superstition but out of curiosity I asked, "What happens when I cut my nails on Thursday?"
He explained, "You see the weekend starts tomorrow Friday, Saturday and Sunday. It's difficult to open the beer cans and the Lays packs without the nails."
Moral: Some superstitions do have a scientific basis!
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion…
After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him. The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
I was offered a good hot time today by a hot 21 year old redhead
In exchange, I was supposed to advertise some kind of bathroom cleaner. Of course I said no as I have high moral standards and very strong willpower. Just as strong as Ajax, the super strong bathroom cleaner. Now available in scented lemon or vanilla.
Jesus and the Devil have challenged each other to a typing battle on MS Word
It's a close battle and they're down to the last word, when boom! Power outage!
When the power outage is resolved, all of the Devil's progress was lost, but Jesus only had one word to type!
Moral of the story: Jesus saves, and so should you.
Be first
A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why banks fail
Why banks failed?
A n**... & drunk woman boards a cab in America.
Driver of the cab, keeps staring at her and does not start the cab
Woman: Haven't you seen a n**... woman before?
Cabbie: calm down. I am not staring at you. I am just wondering where have you kept the money to pay me?
Moral:
This is what most of the banks failed to do. Assessing the repayment capacity before enjoying exposure…
