Moose Jokes
93 moose jokes and hilarious moose puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about moose that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Moose jokes Monty Python and riddles about hunting like Woody Allen's - The Moose Joke where he shoots a moose. Canadian or Alaska moose, no matter, because some are so dirty, that you'd prefer they are one liners instead of long knock knock jokes.
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Funniest Moose Short Jokes
Short moose jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The moose humour may include short bison jokes also.
- What did the chef say when he cooked up moose meat instead of beef? "Oh no! I've made a huge MooseSteak!"
- A conversation with my 7 year old brother. "Look at all of these beautiful horse"
"Horses"
"Horse is already plural, isn't it?"
"You're thinking of elk"
"Holy mooses, you're right" - Scotsman on holiday: what's yon beast over there? Canadian: That's a moose!
Scotsman: Och, If that's a moose, how big are your cats? - I tried getting on a plane with a dead moose once. The attendant said I had to check it as luggage. I said, no it's carrion.
- What do you call a cross between a hippopotamus and something that is not a moose? A hipponotamoose.
- Trump and Pence go on a hunt. As they are walking through the woods, they see an elk foraging.
"Hey look, an elk!" says Pence.
"Fake moose" says Trump. - A restaurant accidentally served me the weirdest talking steak. "I'm not beef," it confessed. It was an honest moose steak.
- Did you hear about the moose who escaped a Mexican zoo and ran all the way to Virginia? He's now a VA-moose.
- I was hit by a moose driving my motorcycle yesterday. How he managed to drive it is a mystery to me.
- What do you call a rebellious teenager whose parents are a lamb and a moose? A radical mooselamb
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Moose One Liners
Which moose one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with moose? I can suggest the ones about beaver and porpoise.
- What do you get when you try to crossbreed a human and a moose? Arrested apparently
- What do you call a moose with no name? Anonymoose
- Why do Canadians always have such good hair? Because of all the moose.
- I got really sick from eating a big, wild animal last week. It was a moose steak.
- What do you call a group of Canadian cows? Moose.
- Why did the Chinese government confiscate all deer legs? Mistook them for moose limbs.
- What do you call an Italian moose on an incline Moose-a-leani
- You Americans may have the right to bare arms, but here in Canada, we can own moose legs.
- What do you get when you cross a moose with a Mexican? A Mexican moose
- Sometimes, eating road kill Can be a big moose steak
- What did Canadians use to communicate during the various wars they fought? Moose Code.
- What do you call a play about a moose on a bicycle? A Moosical
- I hope I see some moose in Canada My hair is a mess.
- What animal did the cow and snake discuss? A Moose.
- What animal can a cow communicate with? A MOOse.
Canadian Moose Jokes
Here is a list of funny canadian moose jokes and even better canadian moose puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call an Irish-Canadian? a Mickey Moose
- Things my fiancée says: What do the Canadian jihadist say? Moose-lamb.
Moose Elk Jokes
Here is a list of funny moose elk jokes and even better moose elk puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a sad elk? Lachry-moose
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Moose Jokes
What funny jokes about moose you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean reindeer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make moose pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two r**... flew to Canada on a hunting trip.
They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.
They managed to bag 6. As they were loading the plane to return, the Pilot said the plane could take only 4 moose.
The two guys objected strongly. "Last year we shot six. The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, only the two r**... survived the
c**....
After climbing out of the wreckage, Billy Ray asked Billy Bob, "Any idea where we
are?"
Billy Bob replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Irishmen flew to Canada on a hunting trip. They chartered a small plane to take them into the Rockies for a week hunting moose.....
With some luck they managed to bag Six.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only Four moose.
The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six as well! The pilot let us take them all and he had the same plane as yours!?!"
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. The plane took off. However, while attempting to cross some mountains even on full power the little plane couldn't handle the extra load of the Moose and promptly went down.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose bodies, p**... and m**... survived the c**....
After climbing out of the wreckage, p**... asked m**..., "Any idea where we are?"
m**... replied....... "I can't be sure, but I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Irish hunters
Two Irish hunters got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose.
They bagged six.
As they started loading the plane for the return trip, The pilot said the plane could take only four moose. The two lads objected strongly. "Last year we shot six, and the pilot let us put them all on board; he had the same plane as yours."
Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even with full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down. A few moments after, climbing out of the wreckage, p**... asked m**..., "Any idea where we are?" "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."?
An indian and a white man are walking through the woods...
and the white man is trying to learn how to hunt game from the indian. So the indian is moving quickly and quietly through the dense forest and the white man is fumbling loudly behind him. Suddenly, the indian stops short and presses his cheek up against a large tree. He then exclaims,
*"Moose come."*
The white man is baffled by how the indian discovered this and says, *"How do you know that?"*
Indian: *"Cheek sticky."*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Polish Moose Hunt
Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose.
As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose. The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both. And he had exactly the same airplane as yours." Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded.
However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness. Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the c**.... After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"
Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
A cow got confused for a moose.
He was not amoosed
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What brand of v**... does a Canadian drink?
Grey Moose
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Polish Hunters
Two Polish hunters named Stosh and Thad, hired a pilot to fly them into the Canadian wilderness, where they managed to bag two big Bull Moose. As they were loading the plane to return, the pilot said the plane could take only the hunters, their gear and one Moose.
The hunters objected strongly saying, "Last year we shot two, and the pilot let us take them both...and he had exactly the same airplane as yours."
Reluctantly the pilot, not wanting to be outdone by another bush pilot, gave in and everything was loaded. However, even under full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down, crashing in the wooded wilderness.
Somehow, surrounded by the moose, clothing and sleeping bags, Stosh and Thad survived the c**....
After climbing out of the wreckage, Thad asked Stosh, "Any idea where we are?"
Stosh replied, "I think we're pretty close to where we crashed last year."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two hunters had just finished hunting moose in the middle of nowhere...
They make it back to the small airport nearby, and argue with the pilot about flying home.
"There's no way my plane is gonna make it anywhere with that huge moose in it!" says the pilot.
"We had this same argument last year with a pilot, and he flew us out of here." says one of the hunters.
The pilot mulled it over a little, and doubled his price, but agreed to take them on.
Everything gets loaded up, and the pilot does a shaky take-off, but manages to get into the air. Unfortunately, he doesn't make it far before the load becomes too much for the plane, and they c**... land back into the woods.
Luckily, everyone survives, and as the second hunter stumbles out of the wreckage, he asks the first, "How far did we make it?"
The first looks around and says, "About 100 feet further than last year."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was very confused the other dah
I was discussing religion with a man and he claimed to be a "moose limb". Must be some kinda canadian thing I guess.
What do you call the leader of a group of moose?
Mooselini.
There's no police in Canda...
If your car is faster than a moose
Does Canada even have a president?
Or is it just whichever moose has the strongest antlers?
Did you ever hear the story about how the moose died?
It's all a big moostery
They say a moose can swim up to 6km/h.
Not very funny but at least you learned something
What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar?
"Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You say tomato, I say tomahto...
You say c**..., I say moose knuckle.
Melania's 1st priority as First Lady...
Find moose and squirrel!
What's pink and has antlers?
A strawberry moose.
What does the Roman moose say to his pregnant wife?
Habebimus a baby moose.
Q. Why should you never order the T-bone in an Alaskan restaurant?
Because it might be a moose steak.
The NSA just intercepted a message from Vladimir Putin to Melenia Trump.
It said,"good, now that you are First Lady, GET MOOSE AND SQUIRREL!"
What do you call a quadriplegic moose wearing a Guy Fawkes mask?
A non-knee moose!
Ba-dum-tiss
Pony says to bear can you yell at moose for me? Bear says why don't you do it your self? Pony replys..
I'm a little horse.
Did you hear about the moose who wanted to lose weight?
He went on a diet and now he's a Muslim
I have heard that the PM of Canada has a pet moose...
Is it Trudeau?
There were two moose who were flying. Then it said one:
"You have a bun in your eye!"
"What?" Answered the other.
"You have a bun in the eye!"
"What?"
"You have a bun in your eye."
"Well, I do not hear because I have a bun in my eye."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did the far right boycott ice cream?
Because you can't have moose tracks without **moose limbs.**
In Canada, they don't play Duck, Duck, Goose...
They play Puck, Puck, Moose.
Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.
What do you get when you cross a cow and a goose?
a moose
What do you call a a moose who can't stop drinking?
An elkoholic
A hunter and his guide were deep in the mountains when they stopped to rest.
The hunter gazed at his companion and mused, "You know, I'm a pretty big fellow. If I had a heart attack or broke a leg, how would you get me out?"
"Last year, I shot a sixteen hundred pound moose way back there and got it out all right," the guide replied.
"How'd you manage that?"
"Twelve trips."
What do you call a moose...
who always skips the first letter of the alphabet?
An Ignore "A" Moose
The singular of Sheep
So if the plural of goose is geese,
And the plural of moose is meese,
Then the singular of sheep is shoop!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do the Canadians use to hang themselves
A moose
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A sad moose walks into a bar
The bartender asks the moose, "Why the long face?"
The moose replies, "I'm a moose you idiot!" and walks out of the bar.
What does a Moose do when it gets a sore back?
It gets a Moosage!
(Credit goes to a 10 year old patient of mine.)
What do you call a Muslim Moose?
A Mooslim
If the plural for Goose is Geese...
...Then the plural for Moose should be Meese.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pencil Injectors
You know that thing that kids do when they take lead pencils and press them into their skin and pretend to inject themselves?
Well I had s**... with a dead moose.
What's a deer hunters favourite type of ice cream?
Moose tracks
What do you call a moose that is a narcissist?
A moose-issist.
(From my 8 yo)
A zookeeper wishes to buy some new animals from another wildlife park.
She writes:
Dear sir, We are a recently opened zoo and are looking to purchase 2 mooses. "No that doesn't sound right." She thinks.
We are looking to purchase 2 meese. "No that can't be right either."
Dear sir, I wish to inquire about purchasing a moose. Kind Regards.
P.S. Please send another moose along with the first.
Why do you want to keep your hot dog away from your moose?
They'll cover it in moosturd.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An scotsman went to norway for vacation
He was going in a taxi , when suddenly a moose crossed in front of them
Scotsman: What was that?
Driver: It was a moose
Scotsman(in heavy accent): Take me back to the airport right now. If the mouse are this big then I don't wanna even see the rats.
Why are giraffes real but unicorns aren't?
What's more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard moose camel with a 40 foot neck?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call an Italian moose with one leg shorter than the others?
Moose so leany.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What do you call a moose with two legs shorter than the others?
Mussolini
Hiking
Two women are hiking in the wilds, and they arrive at a chasm over a river with an old bridge. One of the women announces she needs to pee and proceeds to drop her drawers, but before she begins, she looks down and exclaims in a startled voice, "There is a canoe below me full of moose meat!"
The other woman looks over the side of the bridge and says, "Oh silly, that's just your reflection in the water."
a Scottish man walks into a bar in canada
He noticed there is an animal's head hanging on the wall and asked the bartender what is it
"A moose" replied the bartender
"Jesus christ! How big are the cats here?" Said the scot
