The Best 72 Moon Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Moon jokes. There are some moon mars jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these moon atmosphere puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Moon Jokes and Puns

Romney was asked about the Chinese going to the moon...

He responded that when they are up there, they will be able to see the flag we planted over 40 years ago. This is a pretty clever comeback. But the last laugh is on us. The US flags are now all beached white due to the unprotected exposure to the sun's UV radiation. This means the Chinese will think the French made it first.

RIP Neil Armstrong

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."

Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service...

and says "Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"

Moon joke, Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service...

Have you guys heard about the new restaurant on the moon?

Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere.

Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

So the other one could learn to drive.

Courtesy of the movie "Man on the Moon".


How does the man on the moon cut his hair?

Eclipse it.

Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.

Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.

Moon joke, Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the mo

A Halloween Limerick

A lady vampire named Mable

Had a period that was awfully stable.

So once a full moon

She took out her spoon

And drank herself under the table.

Two blondes in NY are sitting on a balcony at night

Two blondes are sitting on a balcony at night staring at the stars and moon. One of them asks the other, "what do you think is further, the moon or Florida?" The other responds, "hello?!?! Can you see Florida from here?!?!"

On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...

*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.

The woman ignores him.

*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*

The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the first question.

*"What is the distance between Earth and the Moon?"*

The woman hands him $5. Now it's her turn.

*"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"*

The lawyer is astonished. He frantically surfs the Internet, searches his pocket encyclopedia and asks his scientist friends. He finds nothing. Hours later, when finally giving up looking for the answer, he wakes the woman, hands her $50 and asks:

*"So, what is the answer?"*

Without saying a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.

**

First woman on the Moon:

"Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is."

You can explore moon astronomers reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean moon lunar dad jokes. There are also moon puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I'm not sure what the first church on the moon will look like...

But I'm sure the mass will be the same.

Do you ever put an orange in your beer?

Once in a Blue Moon

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

Neil Armstrong *walked on the moon* but Michael Jackson was a *pedophile.*

Why is the moon so grumpy?

It's just going through one of its phases.

Husband and wife go to a club

They notice a guy on the dance floor giving everyone a show. He's breakdancing, moon walking and even throwing in a few backflips. The wife turns to the husband and says, "see that guy on the dance floor? He proposed to be 25 years ago and I turned him down!"
Husband says "Yeah looks like he's still celebrating!"

Moon joke, Husband and wife go to a club

There are six American flags on the Moon.

Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now.

So it looks like the French landed there.

TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun.

Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.

Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day.

I'm sorry.


Neil Armstrong

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, "Ah well, I guess you had to be there."

What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon?

1/6 G

My 8 year old son came up with this one.

When the US went to the moon....

...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.

Of Course the Moon Landings Were Staged

I've never heard of a single staged rocket going to the moon.

They say you can't get a decent job without education.....

They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!

The US flag on the moon lost its color and is now completely white

It's now the French flag.

So two astronauts walk into a club on the moon...

One says to the other, "Let's bounce, this place has no atmosphere"

I asked my wife for sex recently...

She said, "No, it's a super moon, not a blue one".

Buzz Aldrin was the second man to step foot on the moon.

Neil before him. Neil.

TIL that the radiation of the sun has caused the American Flag on the moon to be completely white

So now it looks like France visited first

The moon landing was staged

The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?

Great food, no atmosphere

They say you can't get a decent job without education.

But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!

Conspiracy theories are a lot like moon landings.

They're all fake

I was tired of watching the moon rotate for 24 hours

So I decided to call it a day

Why did the restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was decent but it had no atmosphere.

TIL the American flag on the moon is now bleached completely white by the sun so historians and/or other species would never know it was America that first landed on the moon

They'll think it was France

There are two types of countries,

Those that use the metric system and those that have put a man on the moon.

If the moon landing was indeed fake

NASA would owe us a huge Apollo-gy.

TIL The American flag on the moon has turned white due to radiation

Now it looks like the French landed on the moon

Know your eclipses.

Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.

I couldn't see the eclipse of the sun today! 😡

Friggin' moon was in the way! 😡

What did the astronauts conclude after they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...

And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.

 
 
 
 

Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

It has fantastic food but no atmosphere.

Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson ?

Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had sex with kids.

Apparantly all flags on the moon have faded to white by now.

Now the French can claim to have been there.

There are two types of countries in the world....

Those who use the Metric System....

And those who have been to the Moon.

Two blondes are walking and one asks, which is closer, the moon or Florida? And the other responds, duh...

... can you see Florida?

What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon?

An Apocaclipse.

The moon landings were faked…

But the director was such a perfectionist that he demanded they be filmed on location.

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon.

When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."

Why does the Earth make fun of the moon?

Because it has no life

Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon

They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.

TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the French flag.

Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.

My son identifies as a crescent moon.

I'm worried, but my wife says it's just a phase.

I asked my buddy if he always puts an orange wedge in his beer.

He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a Blue Moon."

Vladimir Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon. The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said...

"No. That's why we want to go to the moon."

Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon.

They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.

Due to the non existent atmosphere on the moon, the american flag is by now completely white.

Great, now everyone thinks the French were the first...

How can you tell what kind of eel you're looking at?

Well, if the moon hits it's eye like a big pizza pie, it's a moray.

How does the man in the moon cut his hair? (From my 9yo child)

Eclipse it.

So I decided to build a Restaurant on the moon

The food is great and all but there's no atmosphere.

Under Kennedy, America went to the moon...

Under Trump, America can't even get to Canada.



Much love from Toronto, stay safe!

There are two types of countries in this world.....

Those that use the metric system, and those that have set foot on the moon.

How often should you put an orange slice in your beer?

Once, in a Blue Moon.

What do Michael Jackson and USA have in common?

They both desperately wanted to be white. And the last great thing they did was a moon walk.

NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to help fake the moon landings

But he was such a perfectionist, he filmed on location.

On the last mission to the moon, NASA set up a restaurant. It didn't last very long.

The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.

When I die

I'm going to get put in a rocket and be launched into the moon. That way my descendants can look at the crash site and see the impact I've made.

Got stopped by police last night. They asked me if I had a police record

Yes, walking on the moon from 1979

If you start the Dark Side of the Moon by Pink Floyd and the passion of the Christ at the same time the scenes don't match up at all

It turns out Jesus was more of a nine inch nails guy

Pete Townshend and Keith Moon were arrested last night after releasing 1000 pugs from a cosmetic company's testing facility.

The Who let the dogs out.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the moon spacecraft jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working moon cosmonauts piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes