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Moon Jokes

156 moon jokes and hilarious moon puns to laugh out loud. Read space jokes about moon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you interested in learning some fun jokes about the moon? Read this article for hilarious moon jokes based on facts about the moon's orbit, its relationship with Jupiter, and how it affects astronomers. Get ready to giggle!

Funniest Moon Short Jokes

Short moon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The moon humour may include short mars jokes also.

  1. Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today... And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
     
     
     
     
  2. Two blondes are walking and one asks, which is closer, the moon or Florida? And the other responds, duh... ... can you see Florida?
  3. Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.
  4. The moon landing was staged The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
  5. TIL The American flag on the moon has turned white due to radiation Now it looks like the French landed on the moon
  6. What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes? I guess you had to be there.
  7. TIL the American flag on the moon has turned into the french flag. Due to solar radiation, the red and blue pigment has disappeared, leaving the flag to be completely white.
  8. First woman on the Moon: "Houston, we have a problem."
    What?
    "Never mind"
    What's the problem?
    "Nothing"
    Please tell us?
    "You know what the problem is."
  9. They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
  10. Astronaut found out he won the lottery while he was in space Apparently when he found out he was over the moon

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Moon One Liners

Which moon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with moon? I can suggest the ones about planet and meteor.

  1. Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere
  2. My son identifies as a crescent moon. I'm worried, but my wife says it's just a phase.
  3. What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon? An Apocaclipse.
  4. Conspiracy theories are a lot like moon landings. They're all fake
  5. How does the man in the moon cut his hair? (From my 9yo child) Eclipse it.
  6. I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.
  7. When the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce trees Sycamore
  8. How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
  9. Do you ever put an orange in your beer? Once in a Blue Moon
  10. Buzz Aldrin was the second man to step foot on the moon. Neil before him. Neil.
  11. What do little shops become at full moon? Werehouses
  12. How often should you put an orange slice in your beer? Once, in a Blue Moon.
  13. Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon? It has fantastic food but no atmosphere.
  14. If the moon landing was indeed fake NASA would owe us a huge Apollo-gy.
  15. Why does the Earth make fun of the moon? Because it has no life

Walked Moon Jokes

Here is a list of funny walked moon jokes and even better walked moon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. When nobody laughed he would follow with, "Ah well. I guess you had to be there."
  • Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service... and says "Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"
  • Buzz Aldrin is a man who demands respect. I saw him speak a while ago and he said I'm the second guy to walk on the moon... Neil before me
  • So two astronauts walk into a club on the moon... One says to the other, "Let's bounce, this place has no atmosphere"
  • I'm Buzz Aldrin, the second person to walk on the moon. Neil before me!
  • Got stopped by police last night. They asked me if I had a police record Yes, walking on the moon from 1979
  • What do Michael Jackson and USA have in common? They both desperately wanted to be white. And the last great thing they did was a moon walk.
  • Two blondes are walking and one asks, which is closer, the moon or Mississippi? And the other responds, duh... ... can you see Mississippi?
  • Fourth person to walk on the moon joke explained Alan LaVern Bean was the fourth person to walk on the moon. It's a joke because nobody remembers the fourth person to do something
  • What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong walked across the moon. Micheal Jackson touches little boys

Full Moon Jokes

Here is a list of funny full moon jokes and even better full moon puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable
    Had a period that was awfully stable.
    So once a full moon
    She took out her spoon
    And drank herself under the table.
  • I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon…. The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.
  • Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon. They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.
  • Why did the moon skip dinner? Because it was full.
  • What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon? A Warehouse.
  • Why did the moon skip dinner? It was full
  • On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest... So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too...
  • What happens when you put a bunch of cardboard boxes in your house during a full moon? You make it a warehouse
  • What happens to a house on a full moon? It becomes a warehouse!
  • Why do Werewolves howl at the full moon? It's right after a waxing phase.
Moon joke, Why do Werewolves howl at the full moon?

Moon Eclipse Jokes

Here is a list of funny moon eclipse jokes and even better moon eclipse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Know your eclipses. Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
    Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
    Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse.
  • I couldn't see the eclipse of the sun today! 😡 Friggin' moon was in the way! 😡
  • What does the moon do when it needs a haircut? Eclipse it.
    Sorry, my son was studying science and saw this joke. He wanted me to share it. Apparently upping his dad joke skills early.
  • How does the moon get a haircut? Eclipse it
  • How would a man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it.
  • How does the moon cut its hair? Eclipse it.
  • What does the barber do to the moon's hair? Eclipse it.
  • Is it a solar or lunar eclipse where the sun passes in front of the moon? Neither. That would be the apoca-clipse.
  • Eclipse is when earth is between sun and moon, what is it called when sun is between earth and moon ? Apocalypse
    P.S . My 11 yr old nephew said this and I found it very funny
  • What does the man on the moon do when he needs a haircut? Eclipse it.

Moon Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny moon day jokes and even better moon day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day. I'm sorry.
  • I was tired of watching the moon rotate for 24 hours So I decided to call it a day
  • Why did God create the moon and stars on the eighth day? After spending a day with Eve, Adam begged God for some space
  • Why didn't they make today a national holiday to signify the first moon landing? Because everyone hates moon days.
  • My girlfriend asked me what the difference between a moon-roof and a sun-roof is. I told her it's night and day.
  • The astronomers were tired after following the moon for 24 hours So they called it a day.
  • I think our sun is highly overrated At least the moon gives off a bit of light at night, the sun only shines in the day when it's already light.
  • Today is the day when the moon looks upon earth. That's why it's blushing.
  • People got tired of watching the moon rotate around the earth for 24 hours ..so they just called it a day
  • In 1970 they said that in 30 years we'd be vacationing on the moon. It's 2018 and instead we're talking about vacationing on Mars some day.
Moon joke, In 1970 they said that in 30 years we'd be vacationing on the moon.

Moon Jokes: Craters Full of Laughter Illuminating Lunar Landscapes

What funny jokes about moon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean worm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make moon pranks.

Romney was asked about the Chinese going to the moon...

He responded that when they are up there, they will be able to see the flag we planted over 40 years ago. This is a pretty clever comeback. But the last laugh is on us. The US flags are now all beached white due to the unprotected exposure to the sun's UV radiation. This means the Chinese will think the French made it first.

RIP Neil Armstrong

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "o**... s**...? o**... s**... you want? You'll get o**... s**... when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

Have you guys heard about the new restaurant on the moon?

Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere.

Blonde vs. Space

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were taking a tour inside of NASA space center. The tour-guide asked them "What planet or other object in our universe would you go to?"
The red head said. "I'd go to Saturn!"
The brunette said, "I'd go to the Moon!"
The blonde said "I'd go to the Sun!"
The tour-guide looked at the blonde. "But if you go the Sun, you'll burn up and die."
The blonde rolled her eyes and replied calmly. "What, do you think I'm s**...? I'd go at night!"

I heard that because the moon has no atmosphere...

the American flag we planted there has lost its color and is now completely white. We need go up there and change it. Because we don't want anyone thinking the French beat us to the moon.

Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

So the other one could learn to drive.
Courtesy of the movie "Man on the Moon".

Back during the Apollo moon-missions, NASA astronauts left an American flag on the surface of the moon.

Over the years, unfortunately, the sun's harsh cosmic rays have bleached the flag completely white. So, any future visitors to the moon will no longer be able to find any proof that the *US* went to the moon, since the only flag left is the French flag.

Did you hear they recently opened a bar on the moon?

The cocktails are great, but it has no atmosphere.

Two blondes in NY are sitting on a balcony at night

Two blondes are sitting on a balcony at night staring at the stars and moon. One of them asks the other, "what do you think is further, the moon or Florida?" The other responds, "hello?!?! Can you see Florida from here?!?!"

On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...

*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.
The woman ignores him.
*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*
The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the first question.
*"What is the distance between Earth and the Moon?"*
The woman hands him $5. Now it's her turn.
*"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"*
The lawyer is astonished. He frantically surfs the Internet, searches his pocket encyclopedia and asks his scientist friends. He finds nothing. Hours later, when finally giving up looking for the answer, he wakes the woman, hands her $50 and asks:
*"So, what is the answer?"*
Without saying a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.
**

I'm not sure what the first church on the moon will look like...

But I'm sure the mass will be the same.

Why is the moon so grumpy?

It's just going through one of its phases.

Husband and wife go to a club

They notice a guy on the dance floor giving everyone a show. He's breakdancing, moon walking and even throwing in a few backflips. The wife turns to the husband and says, "see that guy on the dance floor? He proposed to be 25 years ago and I turned him down!"
Husband says "Yeah looks like he's still celebrating!"

There are six American flags on the Moon.

Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now.
So it looks like the French landed there.

TIL the american flag planted on the moon is now completely white due to radiation from the sun.

Great, now future archeologists are gonna think the French got there first.

Neil Armstrong

Neil Armstrong used to tell really bad jokes about walking on the Moon. Nobody would laugh, but then immediately after Neil would follow up with, "Ah well, I guess you had to be there."

What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon?

1/6 G
My 8 year old son came up with this one.

Science flies you to the moon

Religion flies you into buildings

When the US went to the moon....

...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.

Of Course the Moon Landings Were Staged

I've never heard of a single staged rocket going to the moon.

They say you can't get a decent job without education.....

They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!

The US flag on the moon lost its color and is now completely white

It's now the French flag.

I asked my wife for s**... recently...

She said, "No, it's a super moon, not a blue one".

TIL that the radiation of the sun has caused the American Flag on the moon to be completely white

So now it looks like France visited first

How often do I put orange slices in my beer?

Oh, once in a Blue Moon.

Why did the restaurant on the moon fail?

The food was decent but it had no atmosphere.

TIL the American flag on the moon is now bleached completely white by the sun so historians and/or other species would never know it was America that first landed on the moon

They'll think it was France

Whats wrong with the Bar on the Moon?

It doesn't have any atmosphere

There are two types of countries,

Those that use the metric system and those that have put a man on the moon.

A young first officer asks his Captain

A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"
And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"
"Yes, my sir, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."
"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all these s**... things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."

There's a new restaurant on the moon

The food is great but the place has no atmosphere.

What did the astronauts conclude after they found bones on the moon?

The cow didn't make it.

Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson ?

Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had s**... with kids.

Apparantly all flags on the moon have faded to white by now.

Now the French can claim to have been there.

There are two types of countries in the world....

Those who use the Metric System....
And those who have been to the Moon.

There are two kinds of countries

Those who use the metric system, and those who have their flag on the moon.

The moon landings were faked…

But the director was such a perfectionist that he demanded they be filmed on location.

I asked my buddy if he always puts an orange wedge in his beer.

He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a Blue Moon."

Vladimir Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon. The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said...

"No. That's why we want to go to the moon."

Due to the non existent atmosphere on the moon, the american flag is by now completely white.

Great, now everyone thinks the French were the first...

All of the flags on the moon have been bleached white by the radiation from the sun..

.. making it officially French territory.

How can you tell what kind of eel you're looking at?

Well, if the moon hits it's eye like a big pizza pie, it's a moray.

Another Blonde Joke

A blonde, an American, and a Russian are in a bar, bragging about why they're better. The Russian says, "We were the first into space!" The American says, "We were the first on the moon!" The blonde says,"Well we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The American says,"You know you can't do that, right? You'll burn up before you get there." The blonde says,"Well we're not dumb! We're going to go at night!"

So I decided to build a Restaurant on the moon

The food is great and all but there's no atmosphere.

Do you guys ever get your fingers stuck in beer bottles?

It happened to me once in a blue moon.

Under Kennedy, America went to the moon...

Under Trump, America can't even get to Canada.

Much love from Toronto, stay safe!

There are two types of countries in this world.....

Those that use the metric system, and those that have set foot on the moon.

NASA hired Stanley Kubrick to help fake the moon landings

But he was such a perfectionist, he filmed on location.

When I die

I'm going to get put in a rocket and be launched into the moon. That way my descendants can look at the c**... site and see the impact I've made.

Why was the cow arrested for jumping over the moon?

Because it broke the laws of physics!!
(my son says he made this up himself!! can't find it anywhere else so maybe....)

Moon joke, Why was the cow arrested for jumping over the moon?

jokes about moon