Moon Jokes
154 moon jokes and hilarious moon puns to laugh out loud. Read space jokes about moon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you interested in learning some fun jokes about the moon? Read this article for hilarious moon jokes based on facts about the moon's orbit, its relationship with Jupiter, and how it affects astronomers. Get ready to giggle!
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Funniest Moon Short Jokes
Short moon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The moon humour may include short mars jokes also.
- Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today... And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
- Two blondes are walking and one asks, which is closer, the moon or Florida? And the other responds, duh... ... can you see Florida?
- Canada's starting a space program to send a spaceship to the moon They're calling the spaceship Apollo-G.
- The moon landing was staged The moon landing was staged and it was shot by Stanley Kubrick, the reason it looks so real is because of Kubrick's obsession with filming on location.
- TIL The American flag on the moon has turned white due to radiation Now it looks like the French landed on the moon
- What did Neil Armstrong say when no one laughed at his moon jokes? I guess you had to be there.
- First woman on the Moon: "Houston, we have a problem."
What?
"Never mind"
What's the problem?
"Nothing"
Please tell us?
"You know what the problem is." - They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the moon!
- Astronaut found out he won the lottery while he was in space Apparently when he found out he was over the moon
- I asked my buddy if he always puts an orange wedge in his beer. He said, "Ehh not really. Maybe once in a blue Moon."
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Moon One Liners
Which moon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with moon? I can suggest the ones about planet and meteor.
- My son identifies as a crescent moon. I'm worried, but my wife says it's just a phase.
- What kind of eclipse is it when the sun moves in front of the moon? An Apocaclipse.
- Conspiracy theories are a lot like moon landings. They're all fake
- How does the man in the moon cut his hair? (From my 9yo child) Eclipse it.
- I am Buzz Aldrin, the second man to step on the moon. Neil before me.
- When the moon hits your knees, and you mispronounce trees Sycamore
- Do you ever put an orange in your beer? Once in a Blue Moon
- What do little shops become at full moon? Werehouses
- If the moon landing was indeed fake NASA would owe us a huge Apollo-gy.
- Why does the Earth make fun of the moon? Because it has no life
- Leaked NASA documents show the Moon landing was done in a Studio. On the moon.
- I was tired of watching the moon rotate for 24 hours So I decided to call it a day
- I couldn't see the eclipse of the sun today! 😡 Friggin' moon was in the way! 😡
- Why is the moon so grumpy? It's just going through one of its phases.
- Why did the moon break up with the sun? It wanted some space.
Full Moon Jokes
Here is a list of funny full moon jokes and even better full moon puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Halloween Limerick A lady vampire named Mable
Had a period that was awfully stable.
So once a full moon
She took out her spoon
And drank herself under the table. - I told my Dr. I only smoke once every blue moon…. The problem is my refrigerator is full of them.
- Scientists have recently discovered a new bioluminescent bug that performs a strange dance any time there is a full moon. They are calling it a Raving Luna Tick.
- Why did the moon skip dinner? Because it was full.
- What did the house turn into on the night of the full moon? A Warehouse.
- On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest... So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too...
- What happens when you put a bunch of cardboard boxes in your house during a full moon? You make it a warehouse
- Why do Werewolves howl at the full moon? It's right after a waxing phase.
- As a ginger person, I find tanning to be easy I just go sit underneath the full moon.
- What did the werewolf make on the night of the full moon? A roux.
Moon Eclipse Jokes
Here is a list of funny moon eclipse jokes and even better moon eclipse puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Know your eclipses. Earth between sun and moon: Lunar eclipse.
Moon between sun and Earth: Solar eclipse.
Sun between moon and Earth: Apoceclypse. - What does the moon do when it needs a haircut? Eclipse it.
- What does the barber do to the moon's hair? Eclipse it.
- Eclipse is when earth is between sun and moon, what is it called when sun is between earth and moon ? Apocalypse
P.S . My 11 yr old nephew said this and I found it very funny - I saw a double eclipse today. Not only did the moon block out the sun, but the clouds did as well.
:( - Having lunch in town when I hear a father drop this gem on his son. How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
Eclipse it. - I'm very excited for the eclipse I'm glad the moon is finally getting its day in the sun.
- How is it called when a black person is mooning? Eclipsing
- What does the lunar eclipse have in common with the baboon? They both display a red moon.
- How does a barber cut the moon's hair? E-clipse it!
Moon Day Jokes
Here is a list of funny moon day jokes and even better moon day puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Astronomers got tired of watching the moon go round the earth for 24 hours, so they called it a day. I'm sorry.
- Why did God create the moon and stars on the eighth day? After spending a day with Eve, Adam begged God for some space
- Why didn't they make today a national holiday to signify the first moon landing? Because everyone hates moon days.
- My girlfriend asked me what the difference between a moon-roof and a sun-roof is. I told her it's night and day.
- I think our sun is highly overrated At least the moon gives off a bit of light at night, the sun only shines in the day when it's already light.
- Today is the day when the moon looks upon earth. That's why it's blushing.
- In 1970 they said that in 30 years we'd be vacationing on the moon. It's 2018 and instead we're talking about vacationing on Mars some day.
- What's more important, the sun or the moon? Clearly the moon! It gives us light at night when we need it while the sun gives us light in the day when we don't!
- Ancient astronomers were studying the movement of the moon around the Earth After doing it for 24 hours they got tired of it and decided to call it a day.
Moon Phase Jokes
Here is a list of funny moon phase jokes and even better moon phase puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The moon looks pretty upset tonight. Must be going through a phase.
- I'm currently obsessed with the Moon Although I think it's just a phase
- Why was the Moon in a bad mood? It was just going through one of its phases.
- Why do werewolves only transform at full moon? Because it is just a phase after all.
- What did the teenage Gibbous moon say to its mother? "It's not just a phase, MOM!"
- A New Moon is a Teenager Just going through an emo phase
- An astronomy joke, kind of... Why do werewolves howl at the full moon?
Because it's just after the waxing phase! - Should I get get worried when the moon goes dark? Nah, it's just a phase.
Moon Jokes: Craters Full of Laughter Illuminating Lunar Landscapes
What funny jokes about moon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean worm jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make moon pranks.
America, a land ...
where many people think the moon landings were fake but professional wresting is real.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
RIP Neil Armstrong
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "o**... s**...? o**... s**... you want? You'll get o**... s**... when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
Kanye West shows up at Neil Armstrong's memorial service...
and says "Imma let you finish, but Micheal Jackson had one of the best moon walks of ALL TIME"
Have you guys heard about the new restaurant on the moon?
Early critics say the food is good, but there's no atmosphere.
I heard that because the moon has no atmosphere...
the American flag we planted there has lost its color and is now completely white. We need go up there and change it. Because we don't want anyone thinking the French beat us to the moon.
What was the motto of the German rocket program?
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you'll hit London.
Did you hear they recently opened a bar on the moon?
The cocktails are great, but it has no atmosphere.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
On long plane trip, a woman is sitting next to a lawyer. She wants to sleep, but the lawyer does not stop talking...
*"Let's play a game"* - he suggests.
The woman ignores him.
*"To make it interesting"* - he continues - *"if I answer incorrectly to your question, I'll pay you $50. If you answer incorrectly to my question, you pay me $5."*
The woman agrees, and the lawyer asks the first question.
*"What is the distance between Earth and the Moon?"*
The woman hands him $5. Now it's her turn.
*"What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four?"*
The lawyer is astonished. He frantically surfs the Internet, searches his pocket encyclopedia and asks his scientist friends. He finds nothing. Hours later, when finally giving up looking for the answer, he wakes the woman, hands her $50 and asks:
*"So, what is the answer?"*
Without saying a word, she hands him $5 and goes back to sleep.
**
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The road was wet, the moon was high, we were alone, just her and I. The moon was bright, her eyes were too, I knew just what she wanted to do.. So with my courage, I did my best, and placed my hand, upon her breast. I knew she was ready, but I didn't know how..
It was my first time ever, milking a cow.
I'm not sure what the first church on the moon will look like...
But I'm sure the mass will be the same.
Scientists have recently discovered the existence of a mentally unstable microscopic parasite on the moon...
Apparently it's a real lunatic
There are six American flags on the Moon.
Five of them are still standing. Due to the strong UV radiation, they are all completely white by now.
So it looks like the French landed there.
How do you know when the Moon is going broke?
When it's down to it's last quarter.
What kind of cell phone reception do astronauts get on the moon?
1/6 G
My 8 year old son came up with this one.
Science flies you to the moon
Religion flies you into buildings
Did you know the moon was made of cheese?
Thats why NASA sent up a bunch of crackers.
When the US went to the moon....
...they planted the American Flag. After all these years the radiation from the Sun will have bleached it completely white, so now if Aliens find it they are going to think the French were there first.
Of Course the Moon Landings Were Staged
I've never heard of a single staged rocket going to the moon.
They say you can't get a decent job without education.....
They say you can't get a decent job without education. But look at Albert Einstein – he was a drop-out and still ended up being the first man on the Moon!
So two astronauts walk into a club on the moon...
One says to the other, "Let's bounce, this place has no atmosphere"
What did it mean when they found bones on the moon?
The cow didn't make it.
Pakistan launches a rocket to Moon.
Pakistani News channel reports: "Water and fishes found on Moon."
BBC reports: "Pakistani satellite found in Arab sea."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my wife for s**... recently...
She said, "No, it's a super moon, not a blue one".
So a guy asked me if I ever dropped my phone in a beer before...
I said "yeah, once in a Blue Moon".
Whats wrong with the Bar on the Moon?
It doesn't have any atmosphere
There are two types of countries,
Those that use the metric system and those that have put a man on the moon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young first officer asks his Captain
A young first officer asks his Captain,
"Sir, why does not my ability evolve. I don't seem to be getting better at flying?"
And the Captain patiently answers: "Son, have you seen the gulls flying by the setting sun, and their wings seem like flames?"
"Yes, my sir, I have."
"And a waterfall, spilling mightly over the stones but without taking anything out of its proper place?"
"Yes, sir, I have already witnessed it."
"Then the moon .. when it touches the calm water reflecting all its enormous beauty?"
"Yes, sir, I have also observed this marvelous phenomenon."
"That is the problem. You keep watching all these s**... things instead of focusing on flying the aircraft."
It was reported that Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, John Entwistle, and Keith Moon just released a number of canines from the local pound
It can now be said that The Who let the dogs out
What did the astronauts conclude after they found bones on the moon?
The cow didn't make it.
My Grandma's like the Moon...
Nobody's cared about visiting her for 40 years.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson ?
Neil Armstrong walked ON the Moon and Michael Jackson had s**... with kids.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
On any given day, s**... i**... takes place 120 million times on earth.
Apparently, I live on the moon.
Apparantly all flags on the moon have faded to white by now.
Now the French can claim to have been there.
There are two kinds of countries
Those who use the metric system, and those who have their flag on the moon.
The moon landings were faked…
But the director was such a perfectionist that he demanded they be filmed on location.
Vladimir Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon. The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said...
"No. That's why we want to go to the moon."
A woman goes to a fortune teller
A woman goes to a fortune teller to have her fortune read. The old fortune teller looks through her crystal ball and then gasps with horror. She says "By the next full moon your husband shall be dead!"
The woman looking disappointed says "I already know that part. Tell me if I'll get convicted or not."
Millennials have such short attention spans
Says the generation that got bored of going to the moon by the third time
What's older Jimmy, the sun or the moon?
Jimmy: Well duh, the moon; because it's allowed to go out at night.
How can you tell what kind of eel you're looking at?
Well, if the moon hits it's eye like a big pizza pie, it's a moray.
Another Blonde Joke
A blonde, an American, and a Russian are in a bar, bragging about why they're better. The Russian says, "We were the first into space!" The American says, "We were the first on the moon!" The blonde says,"Well we're going to be the first on the sun!"
The American says,"You know you can't do that, right? You'll burn up before you get there." The blonde says,"Well we're not dumb! We're going to go at night!"
So I decided to build a Restaurant on the moon
The food is great and all but there's no atmosphere.
Do you guys ever get your fingers stuck in beer bottles?
It happened to me once in a blue moon.
Ladies. If your man is giving you both the moon and stars
You should be willing to sacrifice uranus
Under Kennedy, America went to the moon...
Under Trump, America can't even get to Canada.
Much love from Toronto, stay safe!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A bass player dies and goes to h**...
when he gets there, he's surprised to find Keith Moon immediately greeting him.
Hey man, you've gotta join our band. We've got Jimi Hendrix and Stevie Ray Vaughn on guitar, and Im on drums
the bassist looks confused and says wait, this is h**... right? that sounds awesome!
well satan's got a girlfriend who sings
What did the peanut say to the moon?
Nothing.. Peanuts don't speak..
My 4 year old just told me this joke and I can't stop laughing..
Husband goes with his wife to her high school reunion
After meeting several of her friends and former school mates, they are sitting at a table where he is yawning and overly bored.
The band cranks up and people are beginning to dance. There's a guy on the dance floor living it large, break dancing, moon walking, back flips, buying drinks for people, the works.
Wife turns to her husband and says, "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down."
Husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!!!"
Two drunk people are walking down a road.
The first one says, "What a beautiful night...look at that bright, full moon." The second man stops and looks at his drunk friends. "You fool, that's the sun, not the moon", he mumbles. Soon, they start arguing.
As they are arguing, they pass by another drunk man. They both stop his ask him, "Can you tell us wether that thing up in the sky is the sun or the moon?"
The drunk man looks up, and then looks back and says, "Sorry, I don't live around here."
On the last mission to the moon, NASA set up a restaurant. It didn't last very long.
The food was good, but there was no atmosphere.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When I die
I'm going to get put in a rocket and be launched into the moon. That way my descendants can look at the c**... site and see the impact I've made.
Got stopped by police last night. They asked me if I had a police record
Yes, walking on the moon from 1979
A blonde, brunette, and redhead are talking about where they would go if they were astronauts.
The brunette says "the Moon. The Redhead says "Mars". The Blond says "The Sun." When the other two girls say she can't go to the sun as she'd get incinerated, she replies with "I'd go at night, duh!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between science and religion? Science flies you to the moon
While Religion Flies You Into Buildings.
People always say, "I love you to the moon and back."
That's not really that far. The moon is only 238,900 miles away.
Uranus, on the other hand, is 1.7 billion miles away.
Two blondes are walking and one asks, which is closer, the moon or Mississippi? And the other responds, duh...
... can you see Mississippi?
Ladies, if he's willing to give you the Moon and the Stars....
You should be able to sacrifice Uranus.
