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Mood Jokes

152 mood jokes and hilarious mood puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mood that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Mood jokes can be a great way to lighten the mood and raise the overall happiness around you! Read on to discover the best jokes for lightening any given mood – from your wife's bad mood to your own emotions. Honey, grin and bear it as we uncover the best means to a better demeanor!

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Funniest Mood Short Jokes

Short mood jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mood humour may include short feeling jokes also.

  1. A man walks into his bedroom carrying a sheep. His wife looks horrified... "See? See what I have to bang when you're not in the mood?"
    The sheep says "Myyyyyyyy god. You weren't lying..."
  2. So, my girlfriend won't let me wear my mood ring anymore... ...I'm not really sure how I feel about it
  3. I bought my wife a mood ring. When she's happy it turns blue.
    When she's not happy it leaves a red mark on my forehead.
  4. I was mugged today... I was mugged in an alley today, all they took was my mood ring. I'm not sure how I feel about that.
  5. I bought my wife a mood ring. Found out if she's in a good mood it turns green.
    If she's in a bad mood it leaves big red circles on my forehead.
  6. A mugger stole my mood ring from me, but luckily, I wasn't hurt. I really don't know how to feel about it.
  7. My wife has this mood ring... It turns green when she's happy, blue when she's calm, and when she's angry it leaves a big red mark right on my forehead.
  8. Whenever my mate Dave starts stuttering, I always try and lighten the mood. By pretending to scratch invisible turntables.
  9. Mood ring Bought my girlfriend a mood ring the other day.
    When she's in a good mood it turns green.
    When she's in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on my forehead.
  10. Dave got his wife a French maids costume to get her in the mood but it was a complete waste.
    The house is still messed up as usual.

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Mood One Liners

Which mood one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mood? I can suggest the ones about attitude and emotions.

  1. So I lost my mood ring yesterday... I'm not sure how I feel about that.
  2. Somebody stole my mood ring I'm not quite sure how I feel about it.
  3. I hate my mood swing. #They're great!
  4. I lost my mood ring this morning. I don't know how I feel about that.
  5. Someone stole my mood ring... I'm not sure how I feel about that....
  6. My mom just took away my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about it.
  7. What Movie does Hillary Watch when she's in a Bad Mood..? Kill Bill.
  8. Somebody stole my mood ring... ...I don't know how I feel about that.
  9. What does a cannibal call a person in a good mood? a happy meal
  10. I was told I should rearrange my mood. But that could spell my doom.
  11. How does an alchemist get his girl in the mood? Elixir :P
  12. I just swallowed a mood ring. Not quite sure how I feel about it...
  13. I lost my mood ring yesterday I don't know how I feel about that.
  14. I lost my mood ring Not sure how I feel about it
  15. My mood ring was stolen today. I'm not sure how I feel about it.

Wife Mood Jokes

Here is a list of funny wife mood jokes and even better wife mood puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Mood ring I got my wife a mood ring. When she's in a good mood it turns a beautiful shade of blue. When she's in a bad mood it leaves an ugly red mark on my forehead.
  • I bought a cow shaped lamp for the bedroom, my wife asked me what for? I said its for mood lighting.
  • My wife got me a mood ring for my birthday ...it turns green when I'm happy and leaves a red mark on her head when I'm mad
  • My wife got me a mood ring... When I'm in a good mood it turns blue.
    When I'm angry it leaves a huge red mark on her forehead.
  • My Wife decided to buy me a mood ring... ...to gauge my moods.
    We've discovered that when I'm in a good mood it turns blue and when I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark in her forehead.
  • Why was Aquaman's wife in a bad mood? She was going through minnow-pause
  • What's the leader of north korea's wife wear when she's not in the mood? a Kimono
  • I bough my wife a mood ring, and when she's in a good mood the ring turns blue. But when she's in a bad mood, it leaves a big red spot in the middle of my forehead.
  • My wife was getting annoyed because I couldn't, you know, get it in the 'mood'... "What's wrong?" she asked. "I don't know." said I. "I just can't think of anybody right now."
  • Name something your wife does that never fails to put you in the mood Leaves the house

Good Mood Jokes

Here is a list of funny good mood jokes and even better good mood puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring... When she was in a good mood, it turned blue.
    When she was in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead...
  • What does a cat say when it's in a good mood? I'm feline great!
  • I'm giving up on these electric toothbrushes. Mine goes through 2 batteries a week and always starts to smell like fish. On an unrelated side note, my girlfriend has been in a good mood lately.
  • Knock knock Context my son was not in the mood for knock knock jokes
    Me: Knock knock
    Me: Knock knock
    Me: Knock knock
    Him: oh good they left
  • If you're in a good mood, see how long it takes for a fly to get from one end of a room to the other. Time flies when you're having fun.
  • My alarm clock isn't in a good mood... It just went off on me
  • A woman cries to her husband "honey, the fridge isn't running" Husband replies "Good. I'm not in the mood for fast food"
  • Who was the most active of the chinese khanes? Ginseng khan
    I am in a silly mood. Have a good day
  • Why was the kid with chronically depressed parents always in such a good mood? Because two negatives make a positive.
  • I was in such a good mood this afternoon while eating at an Indian restaurant... ...that when I heard that they had run out of bread, it was totally a naan-issue.
Mood joke, I was in such a good mood this afternoon while eating at an Indian restaurant...

Mood Ring Jokes

Here is a list of funny mood ring jokes and even better mood ring puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I got mugged last night! The thugs made off with my wallet, my cuff links, and even my mood ring...
    I'm not sure how I feel about that.
  • I got mugged last night! My assailants made off with everything from my shoes to my mood ring... I still don't know how I feel about that.
  • A joke for my cake day Someone stole my mood ring.

    I don't know how I feel about that.
  • Someone stole my mood ring yesterday. I still don't know how I feel about that.
  • I decided to stop wearing my mood ring yesterday. I'm not sure how I feel about it.
  • Man these thieves Someone stole my mood ring...and now I don't even know how I feel about it.
  • I was washing my hands in a public bathroom yesterday and someone stole my mood ring I don't know how I feel about it...
  • My mood ring got stolen the other day I don't know how I feel about that
  • Someone has stolen my mood ring. I dont know how i feel about it
  • My friend took my mood ring without my permission. I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Bad Mood Jokes

Here is a list of funny bad mood jokes and even better bad mood puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why was Pac-Man in a bad mood after coming home from a date?
  • Why was the Moon in a bad mood? It was just going through one of its phases.
  • Why is Dairy Queen always in a bad mood? Because she's married to Mister Softee.
  • Why was the girl in such a bad mood when she got out of jail? She had a period at the end of her sentence.
  • Whenever I'm in a bad mood I get drunk and work out. It really lifts my spirits
  • Why is Santa in such a bad mood? Because he only comes once a year and it's down a chimney.
  • I'm not crazy; I've just been in a bad mood for the last ten years.
  • What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache?
    A bad mood.
  • What kind of food just puts you in a bad mood? Feel-awful
  • What do a helicopter in a bad mood needs ? A helipad
    ^^period, ^^^get ^^^it? ^^^^hehehe~

Lighten The Mood Jokes

Here is a list of funny lighten the mood jokes and even better lighten the mood puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Pyongyang launches nuclear missile following end of US election Just kidding, thought I should lighten the mood a little.
Mood joke, Pyongyang launches nuclear missile following end of US election

Howlingly Hilarious Mood Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy

What funny jokes about mood you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean feeling good jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mood pranks.

My therapist wanted to tell me about the 5 stages of grief. I said...

But nothing bad has happened! How DARE you imply that it has? I'm only paying half for this session. Thanks for ruining my good mood... Okay, tell me all about it.

A guy is laying in bed reading a book while his wife is sleeping...

Every so often he reaches over and tickles her funny spot. Eventually she wakes up and yells at him saying, "What are you doing, I told you I wasn't in the mood tonight!"
He responds back with, "I understand and respected your wishes".
Irritated she asks, "Then why do you keep touching me?"
and he retorts, "I was just wetting my fingers so I could turn the page..."

An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...

After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails the line. The old actor emphasizes that he will nail it. The director reluctantly agrees and proceeds to tell him his role. You will take a beautiful rose, bring it to your nose and take a deep breath and say the following line: *Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress…* That's it. Do not screw this up! The old actor thanks him 10 times over and proceeds to practice for the next 2 weeks nonstop.
Opening night comes. It's a sold out theater. He takes to the stage, spotlight on him. He raises his hand, takes a deep breath and says the line perfectly * Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress… * Just after the line is delivered the auditorium burst into laughter. He walks off the stage distraught. I don't get it. I nailed the line perfectly. What happened? The director looks at him and yells YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE FLOWER!

Drunk homecoming

A man stumbles up the driveway to his house at 6 in the morning, barely able to stand on his feet. He manages to reach the door but finds it locked and then proceeds to knock.
knock, knock, knock....
After a while his wife comes and opens the door, in a less than a pleased mood.
"What possible reason could you have for coming home at this hour!?"
Slurring and struggling to form words, but managing it in the end the man replies.
"Breakfast!"

Husband comes home and says:

Husband comes home and says:
- Honey, I invited a friend to have dinner with us today.
Screaming she replies:
- What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I did not buy any groceries, the dishes are dirty and I'm not in the mood to cook anything special.
- I know.
- So why did you invited him?
- Because the poor guy is thinking about getting married.

My girlfriend got me a mood ring the other day but it didn't come with instructions. So far we know that if I'm in a good mood, it's green...

and if I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a red mark on her forehead.

The Rabbit, The bear, and The genie.

A bear is chasing a rabbit through the woods. The rabbit trips on a glistening metal object. The bear quickly picks up the object which appears to be a silver oil lamp.
A genie appeared forth.
The genie looked at the bear then the rabbit, then back at the bear.
"Alright, which of you schmucks freed me?"
"Me" the bear and rabbit said simultaneously.
The genie looked at the rabbit, then back at the bear. "Alright, I'm in a good mood, so you both get three wishes. Who's going first?"
The bear volunteered. "I wish all the other bears in this forest were female" He said.
"I wish I had a motorcycle" said the rabbit.
"Done and done" said the genie. Next wish?
The bear got a dumb smile and said "I wish all the other bears in the surrounding forests were female."
The rabbit hopped on the motorcycle. "I wish I was wearing a helmet"
"Alright. easy enough."
The bear a grin across his face yelled "I wish all the other bears in the world were female!"
The rabbit revved the engine, put on some goggles and as he sped away yelled "I wish the bear was gay!"

Hydrogen asks his parents, Sodium and Potassium if he can go to a party.

First, he asks his mom, Sodium. He knows that she is very strict and she will probably say no.
"Na," she says, exactly what he expects
He decides to ask his dad. He is much less strict, and was in a good mood. Maybe he can let Hydrogen go to the party.
"k," he says

Why did your dad visit the grand canyon last night?

Because your mom was in the mood.

It was Christmas day.....

and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened."

A Crow walks into a bar...

looking like he is in a good mood.

The bartender says "hey buddy, the boss still giving you a hard time or did he give you that vacation?"
The crow replies, "let's just say I finally figured out how to get away with a m**...."

I saw myself n**... in the mirror.

And now my hand isn't in the mood.

I wanted to get into the right mood for my essay about american patriotism..

so i shouted at my essay "You Essay", "You Essay", "YOU ESSAY"

A wife has a c**... day and decides to come home early from work

When she arrives home, she heads upstairs and finds 2 pairs of legs in her bed under the covers. Already in a bad mood, she grabs a baseball bat and has a few swings at her cheating husband and his mistress. Once she's done, she walks to her balcony and finds her husband. He lovingly greets her with "Hi honey, your parents dropped in for a visit, they were feeling a little tired so I let them sleep in our bed".

My girlfriend's mood is like the graph of sin(x).....

Her mood goes up and down within one period.

I have 2 moods.

Sleep is for the weak and I want to sleep for a week.

What do I use to brighten my mood when it's dark?

A fleshlight.

I was checking out at Tesco...

I was checking out at Tesco today when I noticed the man in front of me put one item on the conveyor belt... a box of condoms. Not only did he notice me staring, but decided to make super uncomfortable eye contact. So, to lighten the mood I put my bottle of ketchup on and said, "Looks like we've both bought something to put on our sausages!".

What type of bear is bisexual and experiences mood swings?

Bi-polar.

I was having s**... with this german schoolgirl the other day

I was really into it, but she totally killed the mood by shouting her age the entire time

I broke some letters off my keyboard last night

My mood just shifted, there was no escape. I honestly just lost control. I need to alt-er these episodes of mine, these repair bills are building up quite a tab.

Today I found out that I have an additional risk factor for heart disease.

Apparently I am on an o**... contraceptive.
Every time my wife is in the mood for s**..., I say something s**... and suddenly she has a headache.

My band is called Bipolar

We play mood swing...

Spaghetti is the term I believe...

With women, their sexuality can be a mood thing, can't it?
Spaghetti is the term I believe.
**Straight until wet**
-----------------------
(This is one of Jimmy Carr's jokes but I laughed a lot so I thought I'd share it.)

Mike Huckabee is interviewing donald trump...

Huckabee, asking the tough questions: "So we've seen you in your stylish golf clothes on the course, and your sharp bespoke suits when you are at work, but the American people want to know what the president really wears, boxers or briefs?"
trump: "Depends..."
Huckabee: "Depends on what, your mood, the situation, if Malania is around?"
trump: "No, just Depends."

My wife had a terrible mood swing during her period.

She's just o**... acting.

Two vampires walk into a bar

Two vampires sit down at a bar. The first vampire orders a glass of blood but the second one just asks for a cup of hot water.
The first vampire is surprised by this and remarks "Just water? Are you feeling alright?"
The second vampire waves him off and pulls a dripping t**... from his coat pocket "Yes yes I'm just in the mood for some tea!"

What does the peg-legged lesbian pirate say to her girlfriend when she's in the mood?

Scissor me timbers.

I'm not really in the mood to laugh, today my friends bakery burned down...

Now his business is toast :(

I told my wife "Beware the Ides of March!"

I told my wife "Beware the Ides of March! I'm in the mood to do some stabbing from behind, if you know what I mean. "
She said, "I just might die of surprise if you make it to 23 stabs!"
So yeah, only my ego got murdered today.

A wife has a gynecologist appointment tomorrow

A husband and wife were lying in bed. Getting in the mood, he started caressing her to turn her on.
"Sorry," she said, "I have a gynecologist appointment tomorrow, and I want to make sure I'm fresh and undisturbed before she inspects me."
He rolled over, feeling a little disappointed.
A moment later, he rolls back over and says, "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?"

I told my wife that she needs find joy in the little things in life.

She replied, honey, I am not in the mood right now for s**....

A nurse, who works in the ER, arrives for her shift

she spots a little boy, who is sitting in the hallway, crying his eyes out.
She asks him: "What happend? Can I help you?"
Boy: "My mother just died from a traffic accident."
Nurse: " Iam so sorry, shall I get you a priest?"
Boy: "No, thank you, Iam not in the mood for s**...."

Michael Phelps is in bed with his wife and in the mood. Phelps gives her 'the look' and says "C'mon baby, I'm ready to go for the gold."

Phelps' wife sighs a bit and says "How about you go for the silver tonight and let me come first for once?"

I took my daughter to the park yesterday. Everything was going fine until we got to one particular ride. First she happy, then she was sad, then she was unbelievably angry...

Those were some crazy mood swings.

I was at a hospital, talking to some patients.

I tried to lighten the mood with a coronavirus joke. Barely anyone reacted at first, but eventually everyone got it. However, the Chinese guy got it right off the bat. Some people have called my joke tasteless, however. It really killed the mood. But I bet the British variation of this joke will spread much quicker!

Two cows walk into a barn

"man i hate this farm", said the first one.
"mood", mooed the second cow.

My boss came into the store yesterday

I was working alone and there were at least 5 people in there. That is when my boss walked in, clearly in a bad mood. He walked right up to me and said, "You're fired!" I couldn't believe it, and in the middle of a rush. I immediately paused Netflix and asked, "Why?"

My moods really stabilized since I quit smoking w**....

Now I'm just depressed ALL the time.

Mood 𝑺𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈

Two women are shopping and talking about their husbands. One says, "My husband said he was getting impatient with my mood swings, so he bought me a mood ring the other day to monitor my moods." "How'd that work out?" asked the second woman. "Well," said the first, "When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big, flipping red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond."

My most common s**... position is 96

It's where me and my wife lie on the bed with our backs facing each other as she is not in mood ..

Cute repartee from "Dr. Katz"

The good doctor is between clients, and Laura, the administrative assistant, walks into his office. Dr. Katz is lying on his patients' couch and this surprises her.
"I've just never seen you on the couch before," she says.
"Well," Dr. Katz says, "I was just in a reflective mood, and I wondered if the couch might do for me what I hope it does for my patients."
"I see," says Laura. "Would you like me to sit in your chair and doodle and pretend to care?"

Mood joke, Cute repartee from "Dr. Katz"

jokes about mood