Months Jokes
168 months jokes and hilarious months puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about months that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Make your friends and family laugh out loud with these 3 hilarious jokes about months, including one about a doctor and November! From corny puns to clever riddles, these jokes will leave you wanting more!
Funniest Months Short Jokes
Short months jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The months humour may include short monthly jokes also.
- Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't. It's my longest running joke of the year.
- I am giving up drinking for a month Sorry that came out wrong
I am giving up. Drinking for a month - 4th of July, The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
- I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model of a horse for my birthday next month. I've just found a big piece of it hidden in her bedside drawer.
- My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher... Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!
- I am 51 and my girlfriend is 8 Months pregnant and I'm starting to panic a little. Do you think I am too old to be a dad?
- My wife just told me that in 9 months, I'm in for a big surprise... I can't wait for santa to come now!!
- What is the difference between Kevin McCarthy and a newborn baby? In a few months, the baby will be a speaker.
- Why does England feel like it's two months ahead of us? It's only March 28th here, but in England it feels like it's the end of May.
- They say you should test your fire alarm once a month... But it's costing me a fortune in houses!
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Months One Liners
Which months one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with months? I can suggest the ones about minutes and seconds.
- Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months? He lost May
- What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month.
- What is Mr. T's favorite month? April, fools
- Happy ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters! This month, lunch is on me.
- What's the best part about summer in the U.S.? 3 months of no school shootings.
- why was the 6 month old African baby crying? It was having a mid life crisis
- Quarantine has really put a damper on comedy. For months nobody has walked into a bar.
- I set out to lose 10 pounds this month... Only 15 more to go
- I love eBay! Sold my homing pigeon 4 times this month.
- I completely misunderstood Pride month… Anyway, who wants to buy 12 lions?
- Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar. I am completely dismayed
- Give a man a fish and feed him for a day Give a fish a man and feed it for a month
- What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other? Same time next month?
- My Gran died of asbestosis. It was terrible, it took us four months to cremate her.
- I'm giving up alcohol for a month!!! Correction: I'm giving up! Alcohol for a month!!
3 Months Jokes
Here is a list of funny 3 months jokes and even better 3 months puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- 3 months since I had COVID and I've still got very little sense of taste. Sometimes I just find myself settling down on the sofa, opening up Netflix and sticking on Friends
- 1+1=3 It does take about 9 months though
- What does a woman get every month that lasts 3-5 days? Her husband's salary.
- I have a puzzle that has 3-6 years written on it But it only took me 5 months to finish it
- Doctor gave me 3 months to live... I'm so lazy I missed the deadline, that was 4 months ago.
- My Account is 3 Months and 14 Days Old, So It's Not My Cake Day It's my Pie Day
Pie Day's over, get out of my house - I've been dating a cross-eyed woman for 3 months now. But I don't think it's gonna last. We just don't see eye to eye.
- After being 3 months sober from drinking, I bought myself a motivational poster to keep my spirits up. "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take." -Wayne Gretzky
- We should have sent the Opportunity rover to Iraq since its original mission was supposed to be 3 months but then it kept going for 14 years for no good reason
- I needed to lose some weight so I went on a 3 month diet plan. I don't want to brag, but... ...I just finished it in 72 hours.
18 Months Jokes
Here is a list of funny 18 months jokes and even better 18 months puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A man says to his friend: "I have not spoken to my wife in 18 months... Friend says: "Why is that?"
Man replies: "I don't like to interrupt her." - When I was born I was circumcised... It hurts so bad I didn't walk for year. In fact, I was so upset with my parents I didn't talk to them for like 18 months!
- Today, my wife was told by the pediatrician that our 18 month old son isn't talking much because he doesn't want to. I could've told her that.
- Analysts are now predicting an exact worldwide repeat of the COVID-19 spread 18 months from now and there is nothing we can do to prevent it It will be 2022.
- Lawyers and computers have both been proliferating since 1970. Unfortunately, lawyers, unlike computers, have not gotten twice as smart and half as expensive every 18 months.
- I regret buying that top of the line PC; computing power doubles every 18 months so the computer is now obsolete. I'm feeling buyers remoore's.
- I've decided to call my wife Ikea from now on. Mainly because there's been no interest for 18 months.
- My girlfriend asked me who Mia Khalifa was. I said,
"Uh... just some celebrity who had her 5 minutes of fame. She was only popular for like 18 months.
In fact, I think it was 'Barely 18' months." - Transitioning I was thinking today how the 18 month Brexit transition period is a little like gender re-assignment treatment. There will be an 18 month period where we're neither really in or out.
- A new law will require all wine to be aged 18 months before commercial sale Failure to follow new legislation will be referred to as Statutory Grape
Uproarious Months Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about months you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hours jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make months pranks.
My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.
They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way as they weren't man haters!
For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman visits her husband in prison
Before leaving, she tells a correction officer:
"You shouldn't make my husband work like that. He's exhausted!"
The officer laughs, saying:
"Are you kidding? He just eats and sleeps and stays in his own cell!"
"b**...! He just told me he's been digging a tunnel for months!"
My best friend passed away recently, and grieving before his grave I said,
"Bro, I really miss you. My wife has been pregnant for 8 months now. How about you reincarnate as my child?"
A month later, my wife gave birth to a big boy. As my child grew older each day, I realized he looks a lot like my best friend.
I'm really happy that my prayer worked.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The doctor gave me six months to live, so I shot him.
The judge gave me 50 years. Problem solved.
My first memory occurred 9 months before I was born...
...I remember going to this party with my dad but then i went home with my mom.
An 85 year old man goes to his doctor for his annual checkup...
... Doc says, Mr. Jones, I have bad news and worse news.
"Whats the worse news?"
"You have a relatively large brain tumor that is very aggressive and the treatment options are almost nonexistent, so I'm afraid you have about 6 months to live."
Mr. Jones hangs his head for a couple moments and looks up to ask, "And the bad news?"
"you have Alzheimers."
Mr. Jones frowns and says, "well, at least I don't have cancer."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend just freaked me out...
she gave me a b**... but insisted on role playing as a 12 year old.f**... weird and g**.... I was like "You're going to be 12 in a couple of months, what's the rush?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old Man Keeps the Engine Running
A rich 65 year old white man get's himself a gorgeous 23 year old woman. The couple was happy and were planning to start a family.
After a few months as a married couple, the old man gets his wife pregnant. While at the hospital getting ready to deliver the baby:
* **Nurse**: Wow sir, its amazing how you still managed to get you wife pregnant at your age, whats your seceret?
* **Old Man**: Oh you know, you have to keep the engine running.
* **Nurse**: Wow, that is amazing.
After the delivering their baby, 5 years later the Old man gets his wife pregnant again. While at the hospital delivering the baby the same nurse asks:
* **Nurse**: Sir, you did it again, this is amazing, what is your secret?
* **Old Man**: Same as last time, you just have to keep the engine running.
* **Nurse**: Wow, sir. You are a trooper.
The couple had 2 beautiful children and were happy, but 5 years later the man got his wife pregnant yet again. While at the hospital delivering the baby the same nurse asks:
* **Nurse**: "Sir this is truly incredible, you are 75 years old and you got your wife pregnant again, what is your secret?"
* **Old Man**: "Like I told you before! you have to keep the engine running!"
* **Nurse**: "Well sir, it may be time for you to change the oil because this one came out black."
The "Age" of Dinosaurs
A woman takes her children to a museum of natural history. As they gaze with wonder at a skeleton of *Tyrannosaurus rex*, she asks a museum guide, a bright-eyed young fellow, "can you tell me how old it is?"
The museum guide responds, "well, ma'am, that particular skeleton is 65 million and 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days old."
"Amazing!" the mother replies. "How can you know that so well?"
"Well," replied the museum guide eagerly, "when I started working here, I asked a scientist working on it the same question. He told me it was 65 million years old. And that was 2 years, 4 months, and 25 days ago."
Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!
Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"
father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.
Sandra is actually your sister.
"The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that.Angela is also your sister."
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,
he went straight to his mother crying.
Son:"Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whoever you want. Dont listen to him He isn't your father."
Observation
There was a man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch the guy do this day after day for months.
Finally the doctor decided to see what this man was listening to, so one day he approached the wall and put his own ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing.
He turned the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything!"
The mental patient replied, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"
The thief who stole my calendar...
Got 12 months.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Joke directed insult
A woman walks into the doctors office. She says she wants a child, but doesnt want to have s**.... The doctor says ok and asks what kind of child she wants. The woman said she wanted a smart and handsome kid. The doctor then hands her a blue pill.
A few months later, the woman comes back and says she has had a miscarriage but still wants a child. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of kid she wants. The woman said she will have a regular kid this time. The doctor then hands her a red pill.
Even more months later, the woman returns and says shes had a miscarriage but still wants a kid. The doctor says ok and asks what kind of kid she will want. She says since the other ones did not work out she will have a ugly, s**... kid. The doctor says ok and hands her a pill.
*At this point the joke teller asks the victim what color they think the pill is.
*The response will most likely be "I don't know, what?"
*The joke teller then says "I don't know, try asking your mother."
Immaturity at its best.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kill the Dragon
An evil and powerful dragon lives near a village.
It eats a v**... from the village every week.
No one can defeat it.
One day a hero comes and attempts to kill the dragon.
He finds that the dragon is too power to be defeated.
He decides to kill the dragon with intelligence.
Several months later, the dragon is starved to death.
Have you heard about the two guys who tried to steal a calendar?
They each got six months
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and an Italian are all on a plane.
All three are heading to China for 2 months for a business trip. The Frenchman and the Englishman start talking about the night before:
Englishman: "I'll have you know I made love to my wife 3 times and this morning she told me she adored me"
Frenchman: "Ha ha! That is very good my friend, however, I believe I have you beat; last night I made love to my wife 6 times and this morning she told me should would never love anyone else!"
The Englishman congratulates the Frenchman and then they look over at the Italian who hasn't said anything the whole flight.
Englishman: "How many times did you make love to your wife last night?"
Italian: "Once"
Frenchman: "Once? What did she say in the morning?"
Italian: "Don't stop"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A North Irish girl lives with her grandmother...
and they find that they are running very low on money. The girl tells her grandma,
"I'm going to head off south to find work, I'll come back with money. I promise."
The girl is gone for many months, and when she returns home she has tons of money! The grandmother is overjoyed and says,
"How did you make all this money, child?"
The girl says in a hushed voice, "Well, I was a p**... grandma."
The grandmother looked enraged, "What did you say?!"
"I was a p**..., grandma! I'm sorry."
The grandmother calms down, "Oh thank God! I thought you said you were a protestant!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lady almost 9 months pregnant falls down some stairs and knocks herself out...
When she wakes up, she is in a hospital bed.
Doctor: "We had to deliver your fraternal twins while you slept, but they are completely healthy. Also, your brother stopped by and named them for you"
New Mother: "My brother named them? But he's an idiot! What are their names?"
Doctor: "Well, the little girl is named Denise."
New Mother: "Well, that's not so bad. What about my son?"
Doctor: "Denephew."
Baseball in Heaven
Moe and Sam, who were both 90 years old, loved baseball, and they had their entire life. One day, they were sitting together on a bench in their neighborhood when Moe turns to Sam and says:
"Will you promise me something? Promise me that if you die first and go to heaven, you'll come back and tell if there's baseball there."
Sam agreed, and made Moe promise the same. 3 months later, Sam died, and the next week Moe woke up in his sleep with someone calling his name.
"Who's there?" he called out.
"Moe! It's me Sam!"
"Sam! It's so good to hear you! How's heaven?" Moe asked.
"It's great, but I've some news, some good and some bad" Sam told him.
"Well tell me the good news first" Moe replied.
"Ok, the good news is that, there is baseball in heaven."
"That's great." Moe exclaimed, "What's the bad news?"
"Well, the bad news is that I was reading the lineup, and you're pitching on Friday."
I dated an English teacher for a few months, but it didn't work out.
She didn't approve of my improper use of the colon.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...
6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"
A wife sits with her husband, who is on his deathbed...
The husband says, "Darling, I think it's time... I have one last wish before I pass."
"What is it, dear?"
"About six months after I'm gone, I want you to marry Joey, ok?"
She sat dumbfounded for a second. "But, I thought you *hated* that man?"
The husband grabbed her hand and with his last breath whispered "I do."
A man ordered two drinks at once every day...
The bartenders curiosity got the better of him, and he asked "Why not just get a double?"
The man answered "I'm drinking one for myself and one for my buddy that didn't make it back from Iraq."
After a couple of months, the man started ordering just one drink. The nosy bartender asked what's up.
"My doctor told me I have to quit drinking."
I really identify with the trans movement...
For the first 9 months of my life, I was a man trapped in a woman's body!
My friend met his wife on tinder
...It was six months after their wedding
I just finished a jigsaw puzzle.
It only took me six months, which is amazing considering the box says 2-4 years.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I walked in from work today and my wife was
sitting on the sofa with my girlfriend.
I said, "What's going on?"
"You tell me?" replied my wife.
I said, "I don't know, you're sitting on the sofa with a stranger."
"A stranger, eh?" shouted my girlfriend, "I'm no stranger, we've been having s**... for six months!"
I looked at my wife and said, "Is this true?"
Since I started dating my girlfriend half a year ago I became a millionaire
6 months ago I was a billionaire.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 6 months later, she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a girl and a boy. Fortunately, your brother was there to name them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
Doctor: Denise.
Woman: Well, that isn't so bad. What did he name the boy?
Doctor: Denephew.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two old friends meet in bar...
[translated from Turkish]
-Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months!
-Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while
-"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French?
-Mais biensur !
-Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the same school and we never had any French lessons!!
-No, no! I'm learning via the radio. 99.3 FM. Every day at 10AM you have French lessons. Very easy, I suggest you try.
-Oh, ok, cool I'll give a try tomorrow.
Next morning he calls Jack:
-Yo Jack, I have those old radios with a needle for tuning. Does it work with those old radios too?
-Sure! Scroll to 99, then go a little further to the right.
-Oh cool! Thx!
-Mais de rien !
-oh! s**... already...
Couple of weeks later, he meets Jack again. And Jack asks:
-Salut mon ami, How is your French?
- Shhhszzzzoussssshzzziuhli! (static noise)
[probably not the best written joke :/]
TIL that I was born exactly 9 months after my Dad's 32nd birthday...
and my mom gives awful birthday gifts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A European m**... goes to an African tribe...
... and asks the tribeleader if he may stay with them. The leader agrees on one condition: No white child can be born.
However, 9 months later, a woman is discovered with a white child.
The leader summons the missonary to explain himself. The m**... looks out the window and shows the leader a herd of sheep and says:
" As you can see, all the sheep are white, yet one of them is black... "
In complete distress, the tribeleader exclaims: " Allright, I won't say anything about your child, as long as you don't say anything about the sheep!"
A woman was 9 months pregnant...
...and she didn't wanna go to the hospital no matter what. One day she is walking up the stairs inside her home when her water breaks, she then lays down Right there and gives birth with the assistance of her husband. Once the baby is born the mother is holding her baby and says to her husband "I don't think this is yours..." He looks at her confused and asks "what do you mean?", she looks him in the eyes and says "because it's a step-child"
My friend got jailed 6 months for pulling 4 people out of a burning building.
Turns out they were firefighters.
There is nothing wrong with drinking while pregnant...
...my wife drank through all five months of her pregnancy.
A blonde tells her friend
"I completed a jigsaw puzzle in record time!"
"No way! How long did it take you?" Replied her friend
"6 months"
"That cannot be a record time!'
" Well the box said from 1 to 3 years"
Sorry for bad English, original was in Spanish
My wife gained more than 100 pounds during pregnancy, so I started walking 5 miles every day to encourage her.
It's been three months and now I'm over 300 miles away from home.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman wakes up from a coma and...
A 4-months-pregnant woman falls into a deep coma. 5 months later she wakes up and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl, and they are perfectly fine. Luckily your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no not my brother! He's an idiot. What did he name the my daughter?
Doctor: Denise
Woman: Oh that's not that bad. What did he name my son?
Doctor: Denephew
So my wife's wallet got stolen 6 months ago...
...and all her credit cards are in it but I haven't reported it to the police yet because the thieves are spending less than she does!!!
It's going to be a busy couple of months for Caitlyn Jenner
Mothers' Day and then Fathers' Day
My wife is like a new credit card.
0% interest for 12 months.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Men are better cooks
With just a piece of sausage and an egg, they can fill a woman's tummy for 9 months.
"When one door closes, another opens", he said.
"That's all well and good", I replied, "but until you fix it I'm not buying the car."
Unfortunately, the site I got this joke from many months ago is now down so I can't give them the credit it deserve. But here's a different site with it anyway...
I had a job interview today.
I was offered the job and told the salary was £7.50 an hour for the first three months and would then go up to £15 an hour.
The guy asked me when I could start.
I replied "In three months."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live. So I shot him.
Judge gave me 30 years.
So I mean who's the real winner here?
Two blonde girls are celebrating at a table...
The waiter comes by and asks "What are you celebrating?"
They say "We finished this puzzle in only 6 months! And the box says from 2 to 4 years!"
My boyfriend is the best cook
With only two nuts, a sausage and some milk he can fill my stomach for 9 months.
My friend used to be addicted to mud wrestling...
He's 6 months clean now.
If a man says he is going to fix something he will.
There is no need for a women to ask every 6 months about it
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two kids were talking...
Kid 1: I bet you're a v**...
Kid 2: I was a v**..., until last night!
Kid 1: Lies!
Kid 2: Ask your sister.
Kid 1: Ha! I don't have a sister!
Kid 2: You will in about nine months!
I just completed a puzzle in 6 months
despite it saying 4 - 6 years on the box.
I've been trying to kick my roommates out for months now.
But they keep insisting that I call them my parents.
A man diagnosed with cancer was given six months to live, but he worked hard and proved them wrong.
He killed himself three hours later.
After dating for 2 months, she started saying she wanted to meet my parents,
Baby chill I waited for 9 months before I met my own parents
So, an Indian went to the US embassy
to get a visa for a visit to his friend placed there. When asked where he was going, he replied,"San Jose"...!
The immigration officer corrected that San Jose is pronounced ''San Hose'' ...J is pronounced as ''H''
'' So how long is your stay in San Jose?''
"7 months; from Hanuary to Huly."
Why did the Blonde feel so proud of herself for finishing a jigsaw puzzle in only six months?
It said 2-4 years on the box.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman threatens her boyfriend
A woman threatens her boyfriend :
"If you won't stop telling me that I'm fat, I'm going to leave you !"
- "Don't do this darling ! Think about our child !" says the boyfriend, trying to convince her to stay.
- "But we **don't** have any child !" eructs the woman.
- "Wait, what ? You're not 8 months pregnant ?"
Our first born is 9 months old and I got to make my first Dad Joke
Wife: Have you noticed he feels a little warm?
Me: Yes, but he is teething, so that is to be expected. He seems to be feeling ok.
Wife: Well I took his temperature just now.
Me: Did you give it back?
Wife: ...
What's the difference between a cow and the Trump-Russia controversy?
You can't milk a cow 24/7 for six months straight.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My doctor said I only have 2 months to live...
So I shot him.
The judge gave me 30years.
Husband: "I want a divorce...
My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months"
Lawyer: "Think about it once again.Wives like that are hard to find."
DOCTOR: You have three left to live.
PATIENT: Three what? Three months? Years?
DOCTOR: Questions.
I like my passwords like my girlfriends:
change them every 6 months, never share them and make sure my wife doesn't know any of them
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How you treat the wait staff on a first date
Someone once told me that the way someone treats the wait staff on a first date is how they'll treat their significant other in six months.
So now when I'm on a first date, I have s**... with the waitress.
I just became a Dad two months ago and I'm still practicing my Dad jokes, bear with me.
Don't worry though, he's a trained bear and completely under control.
I'v been a gym member for 6 months without any progress...
I think I need to go personally to see what 's going on
I spent months inventing a wingless plane
sadly the idea never took off.
I started carrying a gun after being involved in an attempted robbery a few months ago.
Ever since, my robberies have been going a whole lot better.
Did you hear about the guy who spent six months making a belt out of watches?
He said it was a waist of time.
(as told to me last night by my 10 year old).
Two Inuits marry and consummate that night.
The next morning, the bride discovers that she is six months pregnant.
I used to think I was a boy trapped in a girl's body
Lasted bout nine months, I'm fine now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My doctor said I have 12 months to live so I r**... him
The judge gave me 40 years, I beat the system
A savage wife
Wife : I am going to London for a month.What should I bring for you?
Husband: A nice British Blonde...
*after 1 month*
Husband : Where is my gift?
Wife : Wait for 9 months.
