Monthly Jokes

Funniest Monthly Short Jokes

Short monthly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The monthly humour may include short weekly jokes also.

1. Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't. It's my longest running joke of the year.
2. The doctor gave me six months to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 50 years. Problem solved.
3. I am giving up drinking for a month Sorry that came out wrong
   I am giving up. Drinking for a month
4. "How can this idiot possibly be elected as president?" Says a nation that hasn't gotten over the death of a gorilla in 6 months.
5. I'm giving up drinking, for a month. *(oops, incorrect punctuation)*
   I'm giving up. Drinking for a month.
6. 4th of July, The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
7. The doctor told me I had only six months to live, so I shot him dead. The judge gave me fifteen years. Problem solved.
8. I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model of a horse for my birthday next month. I've just found a big piece of it hidden in her bedside drawer.
9. I hate that September, October, November, and December are somehow the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th months of the calendar year Whoever messed that up ought to be stabbed
10. My wife was happy when I told her a put a load in the dishwasher... Until 9 months later when Consuela's baby came out looking just like me!

Share These Monthly Jokes With Friends

Monthly One Liners

Which monthly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with monthly? I can suggest the ones about months and annual.

1. Your mum is so slow It took her 9 months to come up with a good joke
2. Why does Spider-Man's calendar only have 11 months? He lost May
3. What bleeds once a month in the mouth? Me, when I remember to floss once a month.
4. What is Mr. T's favorite month? April, fools
5. Happy ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters! This month, lunch is on me.
6. What's the best part about summer in the U.S.? 3 months of no school shootings.
7. why was the 6 month old African baby crying? It was having a mid life crisis
8. Quarantine has really put a damper on comedy. For months nobody has walked into a bar.
9. I set out to lose 10 pounds this month... Only 15 more to go
10. You're mom's so slow... ...that it took her 9 months to make a joke.
11. I love eBay! Sold my homing pigeons 4 times this month.
12. I completely misunderstood Pride month… Anyway, who wants to buy 12 lions?
13. Your mom is so slow It took her nine months to make a joke
14. Someone ripped the 5th month out of my calendar. I am completely dismayed
15. Give a man a fish and feed him for a day Give a fish a man and feed it for a month

Monthly Period Jokes

Here is a list of funny monthly period jokes and even better monthly period puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I have high cholesterol, so my doctor has me on the "period" diet One egg a month
• Son you should never joke about a woman's time of the month period
• Women shouldn't have to be in prison for more than a month. Because their period should be the end of their sentence.
• I've noticed my wife gets very aggressive about controlling the TV remote at the same time each month. It's nothing but period drama.
• We should not in any way, shape, or form make fun of female's time of the month Period.
• My Girlfriend said she doesn't like period jokes, I said it's because you only get them once a month.
• Why when theyre arrested do women only spend a month in jail? Because a period marks the end of a sentence
• If women ruled the world there would be no wars Just periods of very tense negotiations once a month
• I used to hate when it was my girlfriend's time of the month Now I just hate her...period.
• Did you hear about the author who wrote a book during her time of the month? It was a period piece.

Monthly Salary Jokes

Here is a list of funny monthly salary jokes and even better monthly salary puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What does a woman get every month that lasts 3-5 days? Her husband's salary.
• Last month, I gave half of my salary to charity. That's probably why my wife found out about her.
• What happens to women every month and lasts 5-6 days? Their husband's salary.
• Ajit Pai has resigned from the FCC to take a new role with a better monthly salary and a better corporate fit.
• Salary is like a period – you wait for it a whole month and it ends in a week.

Monthly Sum Jokes

Here is a list of funny monthly sum jokes and even better monthly sum puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A chinese couple moves to Africa and the woman soon becomes pregnant. 9 months later, the woman gives birth to a half African and half Chinese baby. The man names the baby Sum Ting Wong.

Playful Monthly Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group

What funny jokes about monthly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean daily jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make monthly pranks.