Mont Jokes
97 mont jokes and hilarious mont puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mont that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Comedy Mont Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What is a good mont joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
After months of patience and persistence I finally have a nice body.
It fits perfectly in my trunk.
The Montana Department of Employment
The Montana Department of Employment, Division of Labor Standards claimed a small rancher was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to investigate him.
AGENT: I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them.
RANCHER: Well, there's my hired hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. Then there's the mentally challenged guy. He works about 18 hours every day and does about 90% of all the work around here.
He makes about $10 per week, pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night so he can cope with life. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.
AGENT: That's the guy I want to talk to - the mentally challenged one.
RANCHER: That would be me.
Last month, I asked my dad if I could get a tattoo.
He told me to get it somewhere that didn't matter, so I got it done in Oklahoma.
Less than 1 month without a pope....
.....and we've already cured h**....
Six months
A woman is told by her doctor that she has six months to live.
"Is there anything I can do?" she asks.
"Yes, there is," the doctor replies. "You could marry a tax accountant."
"How will that help my illness?" the woman asks.
"Oh, it won't help your illness," says the doctor, "but it will make that six months seem like an eternity!"
Well, you know what Monty Python always say...
A man sees his friend looking rather melancholy and tries to cheer her up. After listening to her woes he says to her "Well, you know what Monty Python always say..."
She rolls her eyes "Always look on the bright side of life?"
"No." He leaps to his feet, "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!"
Several months
It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have s**... with her that way.
"And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home.
"Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog."
After months of trying to come up with a joke that makes sense, my 10yo sister dropped this one on me last night.
What killed the cat?
A s**....
A 3 months pregnant woman falls into a coma...
6 months later she awakes and she asks her doctor about her babies. And he replies
"Oh you had happy healthy twins. One boy, and one girl. Luckily your brother was here to name then"
"Oh god no" says the woman "my brothers an idiot. What are their names"
"The girls name is denise" says the doctor
"Oh thats not to bad, and the boy?"
"Denephew"
In which month should you not trust a Jew?
July!
-bored on a 28 hour road trip. It was the best we could do.
Once a month, women go completely crazy
...for about 30 days.
It seems that Montana has found a new use for sheep . . .
Wool
After nearly three months of trying...
...my wife just told me that she's pregnant!!
She has the worst stutter ever!
Few months ago I was involved in an accident
which left half of my entire body paralyzed. I am all right now.
Is there a month between April and June?
May be
why was the 6 month old African baby crying?
It was having a mid life crisis
why was the 6 month old African baby crying? (updated)
"Cuz he just got dunked on!"
Which is the month in which women talk the least?
February... because it has the least number of days
A month before my grandfather died we decided to cover his back in lard.
After that he went downhill very quickly.
Every 3 months, I'll text my Dad lyrics from Sia songs. He never texts me back...
...we have a distant relationship, and I like to keep it that way.
When Montell Jordan introduces you to his friends, but your name sounds like a title to one of his songs...
"This is Howie Dewitt!"
It was four months into my relationship that I found out my girlfriend was a communist
She started giving me red flags
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Mont One Liners
Which mont one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mont? I can suggest the ones about technology and copper.
- Where does Dracula live? Monte Cristo