Monopoly Jokes
125 monopoly jokes and hilarious monopoly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about monopoly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
From the classic board game Monopoly to the modern twist Jewmanji, enjoy these monopoly jokes and laughs. Humor your friends by referencing the monopoly jail or the ultimate goal of winning through financial dominance. Don't forget to laugh at yourself too when you inevitably lose at a game of solitaire.
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Funniest Monopoly Short Jokes
Short monopoly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The monopoly humour may include short board game jokes also.
- Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn't valid anymore. There's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
- You can tell monopoly's an old game... ...because there's a luxury tax and rich people can go to jail
- You can tell Monopoly is an old game... ...because there's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- I beat my wife and she immediately divorced me. Some people take Monopoly way too seriously.
- Remember in Monopoly, when some insufferable kids couldn't agree who was banker, they'd refuse to play completely? Welcome to the shutdown...
- My Brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food or drink. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and started throwing things.
We never played Monopoly again. - I've always suspected my wife was cheating. Yesterday I found the evidence I was looking for... She kept the monopoly money hidden in the cushion of the couch.
- Do you know how you can tell Monopoly's an old game? ...it has a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly? It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank.
Everyone loses.
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Monopoly One Liners
Which monopoly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with monopoly? I can suggest the ones about lottery and franchise.
- Why can't two women play monopoly together? There's only one iron.
- If I had a dollar for every gender I would have two dollars and a lot of monopoly money.
- I was asked to help design the first Monopoly board... I thought, I'll give it a Go.
- Wanna play Trump's new Monopoly game? Every place you land says *Go Directly to Jail*.
- I just found a monopoly set without instructions. What are the chances?
- I hate monopoly! My dad always beats me! Its probably because I always win.
- I'm angry that only one company makes the game monopoly.
- I was asked why I put my valuables in a Monopoly board game box. Better safe than SORRY!
- The weird thing about the game Monopoly Is that only one company can make it.
- The Wright Way "I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."
-Steven Wright - Idea for a board game BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.
- What do you call forty geeks playing Monopoly? Microsoft.
- What is Mark Zuckerberg's favorite VR game? Monopoly
- When it comes to board games about buying real estate... Hasbro really has the Monopoly.
- Monopoly I think it's wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly.
Monopoly Game Jokes
Here is a list of funny monopoly game jokes and even better monopoly game puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The game monopoly is fin, but has some major out of date stuff. There's free parking, a luxury tax, you can actually afford to pay rent, and rich people can actually go to jail.
- My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out... Best game of Monopoly ever!
- If all diplomatic issues could be solved with a board game like monopoly, we wouldn't see the current levels violence in the world. No, they'd be *way* higher.
- When playing a game against a less skilled player, it's considered fair to give them a handicap. That's why I always break my opponent's kneecaps before a game of Monopoly
- I was investing in Monopoly games Until I realized that there is no real money in them
- What's the EU's least favourite game? Monopoly
- Everything in Life, I learned from a board game Monopoly.
- Did you hear that they removed some Monopoly game pieces? I guess they were thimbles of an older time.
- I caught my wife cheating with the neighbor last night They are both banned from being the banker during monopoly game night now.
That will teach them to sleep together. - "Ohana" means family, and family means that no Monopoly game can ever finish well.
Monopoly Jail Jokes
Here is a list of funny monopoly jail jokes and even better monopoly jail puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Monopoly is amazing but it has some pretty old stuff that one can't relate to anymore I mean there is free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
- When I went to jail, i walked up to the biggest guy and punched him as hard as I could. That's the last time my dad played monopoly with me.
- Why am I in the jail for no reason? Because I'm in the Monopoly Board Game! And I landed in Go To Jail to jail me for no reason!
- Been in Jail for 5 minutes and I've already been r**... twice... I really need to stop playing monopoly with my uncle.
- I almost got r**... in jail ... My family takes monopoly way too seriously.
- I've been in jail for only 10 minutes and I have already been r**... and beaten 3 times... This is definitely the last time I play monopoly with my dad
- My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his f**... on the wall. I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.
- I've been to jail five times and got r**... twice I'm starting to dislike playing Monopoly with my dad.
- I've been in jail for less than an hour and I've already been r**... twice! This is the LAST time I play monopoly with my dad
- I was r**... within the first five minutes of being in jail That's the last time I play Monopoly with my dad

Monopoly Board Game Jokes
Here is a list of funny monopoly board game jokes and even better monopoly board game puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- There is Deadpool Monopoly, Sea World Monopoly, Simpson's Monopoly.... It's like they monopolized the board games industry
- Don't Invite Satan Over To Play Board Games... ...because last time I did it, he took the dice we used to play Monopoly.
Now I have a pair of dice lost. - What's Joseph Stalins least favourite board game? Monopoly.

Monopoly Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about monopoly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean economy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make monopoly pranks.
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game.
The cashier:
- Are you s**...? This isn't real money!
Peter:
- You're s**.... The car is not real either.
Which one is the odd one out; monopoly, r**..., i**...?
r**.... It's not a family game.
Little Johnny is at Toys R Us...
Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money. The cashier says to Little Johnny, "are you dumb? this is not real money." Little Johnny responds, "You're s**..., neither is the car..."
My brother took being sent to prison really badly.
He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone.
That was the last time we played monopoly.
My wife caught me cheating last night and i feel so ashamed and full of regret.
She's never going to play monopoly with me again!
Monogamy is having one spouse. Polygamy is having more than one spouse.
Monopolygamy is marrying the Monopoly Guy.
When I was a kid my older brother dared me to take a bite of a Monopoly board.
It was a little gamey.
Never in my life have I seen so much corruption, bribery, bIackmail, jealousy, theft, fraud, deception, and outright bloodshed.
And honestly I'm wondering why I even play Monopoly with my family in the first place.
I'm playing Monopoly with Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton...
Trump grabbed Community Chest as fast as he could, is building hotels on properties he doesn't really own and is refusing to pay income tax
Clinton started out with a house on Illinois Ave, somehow always has a "Get out of jail free" card and keeps saying she respects any opponent holding Vermont Ave
However, in the end, I have a feeling neither will be satisfied until they get a house on Pennsylvania Ave
Every day, there's a kid coming to my store looking for trouble...
And every day, I tell him we're sold out.
Can't he buy Monopoly instead?
I was playing Monopoly with a couple of friends and picked the hat piece, winked, and said...
M'nopoly.
If I had a dollar for every gender created in 2016
I'd have one million dollars, unfortunately it would be in monopoly money because none of them are real.
My girlfriend accused me of cheating...
... so I admitted, that yes, I had in fact been cheating on her and was instead sleeping with her sister. We broke up the next day.
It's a shame really we were only playing Monopoly.
My brother got sent to jail
He wasn't taking it very well, and got quite angry. He started destroying houses in my street and finally stopped when he got to the hotel.
That's the last time I play monopoly with him.
A guy walks into a Bar
And asks for a beer.
The bartender: 'do you want a normal beer or a no-alcohol?'
'It depends. Do you want normal money or Monopoly's?'
A man pushes a car to a hotel and suddenly loses all his fortune....
He stopped at the enemy's hotel in Monopoly.
What does Monopoly and this sub have in common?
Both keep reusing the same ideas and people still buy it.
I'll never forget the Christmas Eve my father went to jail.
It didn't take long before he got violent, abusive, screaming and thrashing around, smearing f**... on the walls...
I'll never play Monopoly with him again.
My nickname in bed is monopoly
Because I take two hours to finish
I've been in prison for only 5 minutes, and I've already been r**....
I hate playing monopoly with my dad
I can't find a nice girl who wants to play Double Entendre Monopoly with me.
They all leave after collecting $200.
My brother took going to jail pretty hard. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at everyone who passed by, and smeared his own f**... all over the walls...
Needless to say we'll never play Monopoly again..
I played monopoly once and landed on every spot on the board except for one...
I never stood a chance.
Two guys are drinking in a bar and one says, "Man, I've really had it with my brother in law."
The 2nd guy asks what happened, and the 1st guy tells him, "He had to go to jail last night and he went nuts. He fought, kicked, screamed, and flung a handful of f**... on the wall." The 2nd guy says, "Man he really sounds like a piece of work." The 1st guy says, "Yeah, that's the last time we invite him over to play Monopoly."
My husband cheated
I caught my husband cheating. I'm not going to lie, I didn't handle it in the most mature way possible. I threw an iron at him and took quite a bit of money from him.
Then later we had a heart to heart and decided never to play Monopoly again. Lesson learned.
My brother took going to jail really badly.
He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own f**.... After that, we never played Monopoly again.
I went to jail for 5 minutes and got beaten 3 times and r**... once
I'm never playing monopoly with my dad again
A man stopped his car opposite a hotel and immediately knew he was bankrupt.
He was playing Monopoly
Why did ABBA play monopoly empire?
So that they could take a Chance on ME.
Did you hear about the guy who has monopoly on the chicken industry?
He's a real chick magnate
What do you call someone who's tired of playing monopoly?
A bored gamer.
Me: I was r**... in jail mom
... Dad's taking Monopoly too seriously
The artist named Feat has a monopoly on the music industry and should be tracked down.
Every time I see a song, Feat is always on it. This is too suspicious, and must mean he has a monopoly on the recording industry. Maybe he has parents with connections, maybe he is holding someone hostage, or maybe it is something much worse. What is apparent though, is that he is definitely breaking the law somehow, and must face his crimes. #DeathToFeat
My wife caught me cheating while we were playing monopoly
She dropped the dice and saw me f**... her sister
My father beats us, cheats, and whenever we touch his property, he says, I'm going to make you pay!
I never want to play Monopoly with him again!
My brother got all his properties taken way and thrown in jail last night
When he was in jail he threw f**... all over the walls..
That was the last time we played monopoly.
The last time I played monopoly with my girlfriend, she didn't talk to me for 3 days. We're playing again tonight and I'm a bit nervous but hoping it will go better.
Fingers crossed for a week this time.
Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been fairly concerned.
He has taken going to jail pretty hard. He is refusing all food, spitting and screaming at everyone and is threatening violence at anyone who comes near him. He has smeared the walls with his s**... and is refusing to wear any clothes.
As a family we are united in our decision not to play Monopoly with him ever again.
My wife caught me cheating at Monopoly...
She dropped the dice and found me f**... her sister.

