Monopoly Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
Which one is the odd one out; monopoly, r**..., i**...?
r**.... It's not a family game.
Little Johnny is at Toys R Us...
Little Johnny is at Toys R Us looking for a new toy to buy. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. He goes up to the cashier to pay for the toy car and offers fake Monopoly money. The cashier says to Little Johnny, "are you dumb? this is not real money." Little Johnny responds, "You're s**..., neither is the car..."
I was asked to help design the first Monopoly board...
I thought, I'll give it a Go.
Idea for a board game
BONOPOLY - Similar to Monopoly, but where the streets have no name.
My brother took being sent to prison really badly.
He was yelling and screaming, took off his clothes, and would not accept any food from anyone.
That was the last time we played monopoly.
Do you know the Greek version of Monopoly?
It's called Monopoulos and you just borrow all the money from the bank.
Everyone loses.
My wife caught me cheating last night and i feel so ashamed and full of regret.
She's never going to play monopoly with me again!
I'm angry that only one company makes the game monopoly.
I almost got r**... in jail ...
My family takes monopoly way too seriously.
Monogamy is having one spouse. Polygamy is having more than one spouse.
Monopolygamy is marrying the Monopoly Guy.
The Wright Way
"I think it is wrong that one company makes Monopoly."
-Steven Wright
You can explore monopoly jewmanji reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean monopoly badminton dad jokes. There are also monopoly puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I'm playing Monopoly with Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton...
Trump grabbed Community Chest as fast as he could, is building hotels on properties he doesn't really own and is refusing to pay income tax
Clinton started out with a house on Illinois Ave, somehow always has a "Get out of jail free" card and keeps saying she respects any opponent holding Vermont Ave
However, in the end, I have a feeling neither will be satisfied until they get a house on Pennsylvania Ave
Every day, there's a kid coming to my store looking for trouble...
And every day, I tell him we're sold out.
Can't he buy Monopoly instead?
My wife was in jail, so I decided to go for the conjugal visit, which caused her parents to start freaking out...
Best game of Monopoly ever!
There should be a millennial edition of Monopoly
where you just walk around the board paying rent, never able to buy anything.
A man pushes a car to a hotel and suddenly loses all his fortune....
He stopped at the enemy's hotel in Monopoly.
I've been in jail for less than an hour and I've already been r**... twice!
This is the LAST time I play monopoly with my dad
What does Monopoly and this sub have in common?
Both keep reusing the same ideas and people still buy it.
I'll never forget the Christmas Eve my father went to jail.
It didn't take long before he got violent, abusive, screaming and thrashing around, smearing f**... on the walls...
I'll never play Monopoly with him again.
Why can't two women play monopoly together?
There's only one iron.
My Brother took going to jail really badly.
He refused food or drink. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him, and started throwing things.
We never played Monopoly again.
I've been in jail for only 10 minutes and I have already been r**... and beaten 3 times...
This is definitely the last time I play monopoly with my dad
I've been to jail five times and got r**... twice
I'm starting to dislike playing Monopoly with my dad.
When I went to jail, i walked up to the biggest guy and punched him as hard as I could.
That's the last time my dad played monopoly with me.
If I had a dollar for every gender
I would have two dollars and a lot of monopoly money.
I've been in prison for only 5 minutes, and I've already been r**....
I hate playing monopoly with my dad
I beat my wife and she immediately divorced me.
Some people take Monopoly way too seriously.
The weird thing about the game Monopoly
Is that only one company can make it.
My brother went to jail. He didn't take it very well. He was yelling insults and attacking everyone, he even threw his f**... on the wall.
I don't think we will play Monopoly with him again.
I just found a monopoly set without instructions.
What are the chances?
Remember in Monopoly, when some insufferable kids couldn't agree who was banker, they'd refuse to play completely?
Welcome to the shutdown...
My brother took going to jail pretty hard. He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at everyone who passed by, and smeared his own f**... all over the walls...
Needless to say we'll never play Monopoly again..
I played monopoly once and landed on every spot on the board except for one...
I never stood a chance.
Been in Jail for 5 minutes and I've already been r**... twice...
I really need to stop playing monopoly with my uncle.
My husband cheated
I caught my husband cheating. I'm not going to lie, I didn't handle it in the most mature way possible. I threw an iron at him and took quite a bit of money from him.
Then later we had a heart to heart and decided never to play Monopoly again. Lesson learned.
My brother took going to jail really badly.
He refused all offers of food and drink, spat and swore at anyone who came near him and smeared the walls with his own f**.... After that, we never played Monopoly again.
I went to jail for 5 minutes and got beaten 3 times and r**... once
I'm never playing monopoly with my dad again
I was r**... within the first five minutes of being in jail
That's the last time I play Monopoly with my dad
I've always suspected my wife was cheating. Yesterday I found the evidence I was looking for...
She kept the monopoly money hidden in the cushion of the couch.
I hate monopoly! My dad always beats me!
Its probably because I always win.
Me: I was r**... in jail mom
... Dad's taking Monopoly too seriously
The artist named Feat has a monopoly on the music industry and should be tracked down.
Every time I see a song, Feat is always on it. This is too suspicious, and must mean he has a monopoly on the recording industry. Maybe he has parents with connections, maybe he is holding someone hostage, or maybe it is something much worse. What is apparent though, is that he is definitely breaking the law somehow, and must face his crimes. #DeathToFeat
My wife caught me cheating while we were playing monopoly
She dropped the dice and saw me f**... her sister
You can tell Monopoly is an old game...
...because there's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
Monopoly is fun but it has some really old stuff that isn't valid anymore.
There's free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
What is Mark Zuckerberg's favorite VR game?
Monopoly
Monopoly is amazing but it has some pretty old stuff that one can't relate to anymore
I mean there is free parking, a luxury tax and rich people can actually go to jail.
My father beats us, cheats, and whenever we touch his property, he says, I'm going to make you pay!
I never want to play Monopoly with him again!
The game monopoly is fin, but has some major out of date stuff.
There's free parking, a luxury tax, you can actually afford to pay rent, and rich people can actually go to jail.
My brother got all his properties taken way and thrown in jail last night
When he was in jail he threw f**... all over the walls..
That was the last time we played monopoly.
The last time I played monopoly with my girlfriend, she didn't talk to me for 3 days. We're playing again tonight and I'm a bit nervous but hoping it will go better.
Fingers crossed for a week this time.
Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been fairly concerned.
He has taken going to jail pretty hard. He is refusing all food, spitting and screaming at everyone and is threatening violence at anyone who comes near him. He has smeared the walls with his s**... and is refusing to wear any clothes.
As a family we are united in our decision not to play Monopoly with him ever again.
I was asked why I put my valuables in a Monopoly board game box.
Better safe than SORRY!
My wife caught me cheating at Monopoly...
She dropped the dice and found me f**... her sister.
When my girlfriend and I first got together...
... we had a frank discussion wherein she said she's monogamous. I candidly admitted to her that I am polyamorous. So far we've had a great mono-poly thing going. And the upside is, I own all the railroads!!! And a hotel on Boardwalk!
Wife came home early from work
So the other day my wife unexpectedly came home early from work and asked me if I wanted to play Monopoly with her. I agreed but while we were playing, I caught her cheating. I called her out on it and she just shrugged and said, "if you're not cheating, you're not trying!" That's when her sister burst out of the closet and said to my wife, "thank God you're cool with it, I thought I was going to be stuck in there for hours!"
What do you call forty geeks playing Monopoly?
Microsoft.
