Heartwarming Monkey See Monkey Do Jokes that Make You Laugh
A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See.
.. here is the a monkey of the jungle."
His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..."
He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when
a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint...
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
A mouse and an elephant
A male mouse and female elephant, which are very much in love with each other, are having s**... in the jungle. Mr mouse does his best, but if course miss elephant didn't really enjoy it.
Monkeys up in the trees see the scene and decide to throw coconuts at them. Miss elephant is hit on the head and tell "ouch"
Mister mouse stops and asks, worried "Did I hurt you?"
(Translated from French, sorry for my English)
The monkey god versus Jesus
The monkey god wukong was bored one day and challenged Jesus to see who was stronger. Jesus agreed on one condition that he would hit first. Wukong agreed and Jesus gave him one good punch unto his face causing wukong to fly across the sky. 7 days later, wukong returned with a swollen face and said "my turn". He then punched Jesus in the face so hard that the Christians are still looking for him to this day.
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree
Because it was dead
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was stapled to the first
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see monkey do
Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree?
Because it had no arms
Why did Sally fall off her bike?
Because she was hit with 3 monkeys and a refrigerator
Why did the monkey trip over the branch?
Because the Chimp-Can't -See
A monkey climbs a banana tree
So a monkey climbs a banana tree one day and is astonished to see a fully grown elephant sitting in it.
"what are you doing here?" asks the monkey.
"eating these pears," said the elephant, holding up a pear.
"but this is a banana tree," said the monkey.
"I know" said the elephant. "i brought my own pears."
Tom is hanging with John and John's monkey...
...and John asks "Do you want to see something cool?" and Tom says yes. John then smacks his monkey upside the head and the monkey starts s**... John off.
John asks Tom if he wants some of that and Tom says "Yea, just don't s**... me upside the head too hard."
A guy takes his family to see monkeys in a zoo...
Unfortunately, the monkeys are indoors furiously mating. The guy asks the keeper, ''Would they come out for a few nuts?'' The keeper replied, ''Would you? ''
A little girl asks her father where people came from.
He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.
Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's right, dear"
Now the little girl was angry and stomped into the living room to see her Dad and told him what her Mom said. "You lied to me!" the little girl shouted at him.
No I didn't honey. Your Mom was talking about her side of the family
You can explore monkey see monkey do jungle reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean monkey see monkey do knock knock monkey dad jokes. There are also monkey see monkey do puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Why did the monkey fall out if the tree?
He was dead.
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see, monkey do.
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Peer Pressure.
What do you call a blind monkey?
A chimp-can't-see.
So this lady is getting on the bus with her baby...
And as she gets on, the bus driver glances at her child, does a double take and says "Gaaaaahhhh!!"
Well, this disturbs the lady, but she sits down.
The passenger next to her sees that she's disturbed, and asks what's wrong.
"The bus driver was VERY rude to me!"
The passenger says, "Well, you should go give him a piece of your mind! Let me hold your monkey for you."
Recent studies show that chimps raised in captivity are more likely to reproduce if they are shown videos of other chimps mating in the wild.
monkey see monkey do monkey, monkey do monkey
An old and gold jokes
I'm gonna be a t**... & kill 1000 people and a monkey
Why do you wanna kill a monkey?
See ! No One Cares about the 1000 people
Statistically humans eat more bananas than monkeys
Yeah, I don't see a lot of people eating monkeys around here
What's a good day to see tailless monkeys at the zoo?
Any gibbon day of the week
On my first day of work as a zoo keeper I noticed one of my male coworkers had a bulge in his pants. I asked him...
"Is that a small monkey in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
He said "Yeah, it's Macaque"
An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at varying levels.
The monkeys at the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces, whereas the monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but a**....
a cop pulls a guy over with a monkey in the car
The cop says to the guy, why do you have a monkey in your car? Take him to the zoo!The guys says 'right away officer!'A week later, the cop sees him driving around again with the monkey still in his car so he pulls him over again. Cop says 'I thought I told you to take this monkey to the zoo!' The man says ' I did, this week I am taking to the movies'
