Monkey See Monkey Do Jokes
40 monkey see monkey do jokes and hilarious monkey see monkey do puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about monkey see monkey do that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Monkey See Monkey Do Short Jokes
Short monkey see monkey do jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The monkey see monkey do humour may include short monkey jokes also.
- Recent studies show that chimps raised in captivity are more likely to reproduce if they are shown videos of other chimps mating in the wild. monkey see monkey do monkey, monkey do monkey
- Statistically humans eat more bananas than monkeys Yeah, I don't see a lot of people eating monkeys around here
- A drunk guy took a cat home to his wife and said: "See... here is the a monkey of the jungle."
His wife said laughing, "That's a CAT ..."
He said back to his wife, "I am talking to the cat!"
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Monkey See Monkey Do One Liners
Which monkey see monkey do one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with monkey see monkey do? I can suggest the ones about monkey bars and macaque.
- What's a good day to see tailless monkeys at the zoo? Any gibbon day of the week
- Why did the monkey trip over the branch? Because the Chimp-Can't -See
- Why was the monkey very upset? It couldn't see it's baNana!
- What does a black biologist say when he sees a monkey? Whats up cuz!!!
- What do you call a blind monkey? A chimp-can't-see.
Heartwarming Monkey See Monkey Do Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about monkey see monkey do you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean monkey banana jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make monkey see monkey do pranks.
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So this lady is getting on the bus with her baby...
And as she gets on, the bus driver glances at her child, does a double take and says "Gaaaaahhhh!!"
Well, this disturbs the lady, but she sits down.
The passenger next to her sees that she's disturbed, and asks what's wrong.
"The bus driver was VERY rude to me!"
The passenger says, "Well, you should go give him a piece of your mind! Let me hold your monkey for you."
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint...
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A monkey is sitting in a tree, smoking a joint, when
a lizard walks past. The lizard looks up and says to the monkey Hey! what are you doing? The monkey says Smoking a joint, come up and join me, my cold-blooded friend.
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they have another joint. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry', and that he's going to get a drink from the river.
At the riverbank, the lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls in. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the s**... lizard, helping him to the side.
He then asks the lizard, What's the matter with you?! The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting in the tree, smoking a joint with his new monkey friend. He then explained how his mouth got dry, and that he was so wasted that, when he went to get a drink from the river, he fell in!
The inquisitive crocodile says he has to check this out. He walks into the jungle and finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. He looks up and says Hey, MONKEY! The Monkey looks down and says FUUUUUCK, DUDE……. how much water did you drink?
A little girl asks her father where people came from.
He explained about Adam and Eve and they were our original ancestors and they had babies and that's where we came from.
Later that day the girl asked her Mom who explained that their ancestors were monkeys and apes and humans evolved from the monkeys. "So, our relatives are monkeys?" "That's right, dear"
Now the little girl was angry and stomped into the living room to see her Dad and told him what her Mom said. "You lied to me!" the little girl shouted at him.
No I didn't honey. Your Mom was talking about her side of the family
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An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at varying levels.
The monkeys at the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces, whereas the monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but a**....
On my first day of work as a zoo keeper I noticed one of my male coworkers had a bulge in his pants. I asked him...
"Is that a small monkey in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"
He said "Yeah, it's Macaque"
A guy takes his family to see monkeys in a zoo...
Unfortunately, the monkeys are indoors furiously mating. The guy asks the keeper, ''Would they come out for a few nuts?'' The keeper replied, ''Would you? ''
a cop pulls a guy over with a monkey in the car
The cop says to the guy, why do you have a monkey in your car? Take him to the zoo!The guys says 'right away officer!'A week later, the cop sees him driving around again with the monkey still in his car so he pulls him over again. Cop says 'I thought I told you to take this monkey to the zoo!' The man says ' I did, this week I am taking to the movies'
A man was moving to another country and needed to find a new home for his 15 pet monkeys.
He saw a man driving down the road with a big van and so he shouted after him,
"I'll give you €50 to bring these monkeys to the zoo for me"
The man with the van agreed and left with the monkeys in his van.
A couple of hours go by and while he is on his way to the airport, he sees the man with the van again coming up the road with all 15 monkeys still in the back.
"I thought I gave you money to bring those monkeys to the zoo?"
"I did, we had some change from the €50 so I'm bringing them to the cinema now"
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Tom is hanging with John and John's monkey...
...and John asks "Do you want to see something cool?" and Tom says yes. John then smacks his monkey upside the head and the monkey starts s**... John off.
John asks Tom if he wants some of that and Tom says "Yea, just don't s**... me upside the head too hard."
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree
Because it was dead
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was stapled to the first
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
Monkey see monkey do
Why did the refrigerator fall out of the tree?
Because it had no arms
Why did Sally fall off her bike?
Because she was hit with 3 monkeys and a refrigerator
A monkey climbs a banana tree
So a monkey climbs a banana tree one day and is astonished to see a fully grown elephant sitting in it.
"what are you doing here?" asks the monkey.
"eating these pears," said the elephant, holding up a pear.
"but this is a banana tree," said the monkey.
"I know" said the elephant. "i brought my own pears."
The monkey god versus Jesus
The monkey god wukong was bored one day and challenged Jesus to see who was stronger. Jesus agreed on one condition that he would hit first. Wukong agreed and Jesus gave him one good punch unto his face causing wukong to fly across the sky. 7 days later, wukong returned with a swollen face and said "my turn". He then punched Jesus in the face so hard that the Christians are still looking for him to this day.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mouse and an elephant
A male mouse and female elephant, which are very much in love with each other, are having s**... in the jungle. Mr mouse does his best, but if course miss elephant didn't really enjoy it.
Monkeys up in the trees see the scene and decide to throw coconuts at them. Miss elephant is hit on the head and tell "ouch"
Mister mouse stops and asks, worried "Did I hurt you?"
(Translated from French, sorry for my English)
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An old and gold jokes
I'm gonna be a t**... & kill 1000 people and a monkey
Why do you wanna kill a monkey?
See ! No One Cares about the 1000 people
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A mother and daughter were at the zoo...
While they were at they the zoo, they see 2 monkeys having s**.... The daughter asks the mother, Mommy, what are those monkeys doing? The mother panics and says, They are making cupcakes , to which the daughter just replies, oh ok.
The next day the daughter goes up to her mother and says, You and Daddy were making cupcakes on the couch, weren't you? Shocked, the mother replies, How did you know?! The daughter then replies, because i was l**... the icing off the couch!
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A monkey sits in a tree when a lizard asks..
..."what are you doing?". "I'm rolling a joint" answered the monkey. "Wanna join?"
The lizard joins but after a while the lizard says "I have a strange feeling in my t**..... Imma go down to the river for some water."
On way to the river the lizard feels he smoked a little too much. And he falls right in the river.
A crocodile sees him and helps him up. The crocodile asks why he was so clumsy and fell in the river. The lizard answered by explaining everything about the monkey and the joint.
The crocodile is against psychedelic drugs, and he therefore goes into the jungle to speak with the monkey.
"Hey, you!" yells the crocodile.
The monkey sits up in the tree and looks down and says "Shiiiit... how much water did you drink?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint...
... when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey "hey! what are you doing?" The monkey says "smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they smoke a few doobies. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so s**... that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard, "what's the matter with you?"
The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too s**... and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree where the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "hey you!"
The Monkey looks down and says "fuuuuuuck dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"
Monkey Business
Cop shows up to a bad car wreck.
Car flipped over, family of four dead.
Cop sees a monkey hopping around trying to get his attention.
He asks the monkey, "Were you in this wreck with the family?"
Monkey shakes his head yes.
Cop asks, "What were the two kids doing at the time?"
Monkey pretends he's fighting with someone.
Cop says, "Ah, kids were fighting. And what was the mother doing?"
Monkey looks over his shoulder pretending to be yelling.
Cop goes, "Ah, yelling at the kids. And what was the father doing?"
Monkey pretends he's drinking.
Cop goes, "I see, he was drinking, hmm."
The cop gets up and is about to walk away, then turns to the monkey and says, "By the way, while all this was going on, what were you doing?"
Monkey pretends he's driving.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mother and a young daughter go to the zoo.
One fine day, both mother and her 7 yr old daughter go to the zoo. The daughter sees monkeys having s**... and asks her mom "What is going on!?" The mother replies "honey, they are just baking a cake". Then the mother takes the daughter to the park and she sees a couple having s**... behind a tree. The daughter asks again "What is going on??" The mother says "oh honey, they are just baking a cake".
The next morning, the innocent girl asks her mother Mom, "were you and dad baking a cake last night in the living room?" The mom is shocked and asks "How did you know?" The daughter replies "I tasted the frosting on the sofa".
Ba-dum yiss.
The monkey and the lizard
Lizard is walking through the woods when he sees Monkey up in the branches of a tree.
"Hello there, Monkey! What are you up to today?"
"Hey Lizard. I was just about to smoke this joint."
"I'll be right up."
After he tokes, Lizard says, "Monkey, I have cotton mouth, real bad. I'm going down to the river for a drink of fresh water."
When Lizard reaches the river, he leans over and drinks and drinks. Alligator swims up and says, "Slow down, Lizard! Why are you drinking so much water?"
"Well I was smoking a joint with Monkey up in a tree and I got cotton mouth real bad."
"Wait a minute. Monkey has a joint? In a tree? This I've got to see."
Alligator gets out of the river and goes waddling up to the tree.
"Say, Monkey..."
"Jesus Lizard! How much water did you drink, man?"
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The Bartender's Monkey
A guy walks into a bar, and the bartender's there behind the bar. Behind the bartender is a monkey in a cage.
The guy asks the bartender, "Hey, what's the monkey for?"
This goes on for awhile...
The bartender gives in and says "Fine, you want to see what the monkey is for?"
The bartender opens the cage, and immediately the monkey jumps out!
The bartender whacks the monkey over the head with a baseball bat. The monkey starts giving the bartender o**... s**....
The guy looks at this and exclaims, "Wow! That's Amazing!"
The bartender looks up at the guy and asks "Hey, do you want to try it?"
The guy says "Sure!, but could you not hit me so hard with the baseball bat?"
Ugly Child Joke
A woman had an ugly child. One fine afternoon she was travelling on a bus, when suddenly the driver sees her child. The driver goes " Oh that is one ugly looking child."
Mother obviously was angry. She cursed at the driver and changed her seat. The whole time she sat on a different seat she kept mumbling.
A guy gets in the bus at the next bus stop. He noticed the lady was obviously angry at something but couldnt figure what. He went to the lady and asked why she was so angry and if he could help. The lady told her the driver was rude to her.
The guy said "Well, if I were you I would go punch him in the face."
The woman said, " you are right, maybe I should do that too."
The guy then says,"why dont you go punch that driver in the face and in the time being let me hold that monkey for you."
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There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day.....
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day and they saw two teenagers having s**... on a bench.
The little girl says, "Mummy, what are they doing?"
The mother hesitates then quickly replies, "Ummm they are making cakes."
The next day they are at a zoo and the little girl sees two monkeys having s**.... Again she asks her mother what they are doing and her mother replies with the same response, "Making cakes."
The next day the girl says to her mother, "Mummy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the lounge last night, eh?"
Shocked, the mother asks, "How do you know?"
She says, "Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A mother is walking through the park with her daughter...
when the mother spots two people having s**... on a nearby bench. she tries to hide it from her daughter, but still she notices.
"mommy, what are those people doing?"
the mother thinks for a second.
"they're baking a cake, sweetheart."
the next day, the mother and daughter go to the zoo, where they happen to see two monkeys similarly going at it.
"mommy, are they baking a cake too?"
"yes sweetheart. let' go look at the crocodiles instead!"
the next morning, the little girl comes downstairs and sits next to her mother.
"mommy, did you and daddy bake a cake last night?"
"well, why do you ask?"
"I licked the frosting off the couch."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Ugly Baby
There's a woman flying on a plane with her baby. And one of the other passengers starts making fun of this woman's baby, going on and on about how ugly he is. Eventually, one of the flight attendants hears this.
"Shame on you, saying such n**... things as that" she says to the rude passenger, before turning to the woman. "Ma'm, on behalf of American Airlines I'd like to apologize for that unpleasantness. We will give you a complementary meal for your troubles, and I'll see if I can get a banana for your monkey."
[I know it's an old joke but I only found one version (a different one with a racist joke) on this sub]
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Nothing like making cake
There was a little girl and her mother walking through the park one day, and they saw two teenagers having s**... on a bench.
The little girl says "Mommy, what are they doing?" the mother hesitates then quickly says "Umm... they are making cakes. Now come on, we'll go to the Zoo."
At the Zoo, the little girl sees two monkeys having s**....
Again she asks her mother, "What are they doing?"
And again her mother says "They are making cakes. That's it, we're going home."
The next day the girl says to her mother "Mommy, you and Daddy were making cakes in the living room last night, weren't you?"
Shocked, the mother says "What? How do you know?"
She says"Because I licked the icing off the sofa."
