Monkey Banana Jokes
95 monkey banana jokes and hilarious monkey banana puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about monkey banana that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Monkey Banana Short Jokes
Short monkey banana jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The monkey banana humour may include short banana jokes also.
- I read online today that humans, on average, eat more banana than monkeys. It's right you know. I cannot remember the last time I ate a monkey.
- People in the U.S. eat more bananas than monkeys. In 2016, they ate 73,432,384 bananas,
and only ate 6 monkeys. - My wife just told me that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I believe her, bananas are much easier to peel.
- A new study showed that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I dont remember the last time I ate a monkey.
- Study shows that people eat more bananas than monkeys I don't even remember the last time I ate a monkey!
- Bad jokes are the best jokes Did you know humans eat more bananas than monkeys?
I believe it… I've never eaten a monkey, have you? - So this study shows that humans eat more bananas than monkeys But I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
- Humans eat more bananas than monkeys Today I learned humans eat more bananas than monkeys. – I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
- A new study says humans eat bananas more than monkeys. I believe it. I know lots of people who eat bananas and none who eat monkeys.
- One monkey says to another monkey, what rhymes with Banana and the other monkey says No it doesn't.
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Monkey Banana One Liners
Which monkey banana one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with monkey banana? I can suggest the ones about banana splits and no bananas.
- TIL humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
- What type of key opens a banana? A monkey :3
- I must have that new monkey pox virus I think Im going bananas
- What kind of key opens a banana A mon-key
- I must have that new Monkey Pox virus ! I think Im going bananas
- Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys? I mean who eats monkeys?
- What sort of key do you use to open a banana? A mon-key
- What did the monkey say when he was on a winning streak? I've banana roll lately.
- How do you open a locked banana? With a monkey
- Humans eat more bananas than monkeys. Although monkeys are more filling.
- Courtesy of my son's joke book. What's invisible and smells of bananas? Monkey farts...
- Why did the banana not enjoy the playground? He was scared of the monkey bars.
- What kind of key opens both doors and bananas? A mon-key.
- Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey. - What kind of monkey doesn't eat bananas? An orangutan.
Monkey Banana Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about monkey banana you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean peeled banana jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make monkey banana pranks.
Q: What kind of key opens a banana?
A: A monkey.
A monkey goes into a bar and asks the barman:
- Do you have any bananas?
- No,I don't. ( says the barman)
- Do you have any bananas? (asks the monkey)
- No,I have not got any bananas!
- Do you have any bananas?
- If you ask me that question one more time, I'll nail your tongue to the counter!
- Do you have any nails?
- No,I don't.
- Do you have any bananas?
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said- "that part where hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair" the girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister-"my monkey has grown hair"
Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, mine is already eating bananas" .
What's invisible and smells like bananas?
....Monkey farts
Ugly Baby
There's a woman flying on a plane with her baby. And one of the other passengers starts making fun of this woman's baby, going on and on about how ugly he is. Eventually, one of the flight attendants hears this.
"Shame on you, saying such n**... things as that" she says to the rude passenger, before turning to the woman. "Ma'm, on behalf of American Airlines I'd like to apologize for that unpleasantness. We will give you a complementary meal for your troubles, and I'll see if I can get a banana for your monkey."
[I know it's an old joke but I only found one version (a different one with a racist joke) on this sub]
My eight year old niece told me this. I think it's pretty funny!
An elephant is passing by an apple tree, and he spots a monkey up there. He asks the monkey,
"Hey monkey, what are you doing up there?"
*"I'm gonna eat bananas now."*
"s**... monkey, you are sitting on an apple tree!"
*"s**... elephant, I got bananas in my pocket."*
Whats yellow, warm, smells of bananas and sits at the base of a tree...
Monkey v**...
What's warm and smells like banana?
Monkey p**....
Did you know, that we eat more bananas than monkeys?
Last year the UK ate 76,500,000 bananas and only 6 monkeys.
What did the banana peel say when the monkey trampled over it?
Nothing! Banana peels don't speak.
I just told my wife I am getting her a monkey for her birthday.
She went bananas.
What key can help you peel a banana?
A monkey.
A monkey is watching a couple underneath a tree...
'What magic!' He exclaims, 'The banana doesn't finish even after so many bites!'
A sign in the Zoo:
Please, do no throw bananas in the dolphins' pool!
1. The dolphins do not eat bananas.
2. By now 3 monkeys have drowned.
Thanks for understanding.
A monkey climbs a banana tree
So a monkey climbs a banana tree one day and is astonished to see a fully grown elephant sitting in it.
"what are you doing here?" asks the monkey.
"eating these pears," said the elephant, holding up a pear.
"but this is a banana tree," said the monkey.
"I know" said the elephant. "i brought my own pears."
What is the monkey that can't peel the banana?
Terrible at CC
A monkey walks into a bar...
...and asks the bartender:
- Do you have bananas?
- No.
- Do you have bananas?
- I said, no.
- Do you have bananas?
- No, are you deaf or what? If you ask me one more time if I have bananas, I'll NAIL your tongue at the counter!
- ... Do you have nails?
- No.
- Do you have bananas?
It's just a monkey.
When an adolescent girl starts growing p**..., she asks her mother about what's going on with her. The mother replies "it's just a monkey who is starting to grow hair". Later at the dinner table, she tells her older sister that her monkey had started growing hair. The sister replies "Mine even started eating bananas!".
What kind of key unlocks a banana?
A monkey.
How do monkeys go down the stairs?
They slide down the banana-ster!
:D
A girl realised she had grown hair in betweem her legs
She asked her mother about that hair, her mom calmy replied:
"The part where that hair has grown is called monkey, so be proud your monkey has grown hair."
She was so happy at the table, she told her older sister her Monkey had grown hair.
Her sister smiled and said:
"Oh thats nothing, my Monkey is already eating bananas."
What's more annoying than a monkey trying to steal your banana?
Working at a Tesco supermarket in Produce, putting out loose bananas on display, and while trying to do so, customers keep barging their way in to you and remove the lovely bananas you just put there and leave with a remark on the lines of, "Sorry, I'm just going to ruin your display, HA HA".
Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?
In 2015 humans consumed 65 million tons of bananas and only 8 monkeys.
Why was the monkey very upset?
It couldn't see it's baNana!
Why did the monkey go to a Banana Convention?
because he thought it was going to be a peeling
What's yellow and smells like bananas?
Monkey v**....
Did you know that humans on average eat more bananas than monkeys?
Nobody I know has ever eaten a monkey before
An 11 year old girl realized that she had started to grow hair between her legs.
She got worried and asked her Mom about the hair. Her Mom calmly said " That part where hair has grown is called a Monkey, be proud that your Monkey has grown hair. " Next morning at breakfast she told her sister. " my moneky has grown hair. " her sister smiled and said " That's Nothing, mine is already eating Banana
A girl realizes that she has grown hair between her legs
She gets worried and asks her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly says, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she tells her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiles and says, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
Did you know humans eat more bananas then monkeys?
last year we ate 74 million bananas and only 6 monkeys!
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
Except in china.
An 11 year old girl realized she began to grow hair between her legs.
She immediately got worried and asked her mom about the hair. Her mom calmly replied,
That part where the hair is grown is called a monkey. You should be proud your monkey has grown hair!
The young girl was excited and went to sleep
The next morning, the young girl went up to her older sister Jessica during breakfast and exclaimed,
Jessie! My monkey has grown hair!
Her sister laughed and smiled while she told her,
My monkey is already eating bananas.
If a monkey has 30 bananas in one hand and 40 in the other, what does he have?
Very large hands
Three monkeys walk into bar.
They all order drinks, drink them and leave.
It was bananas.
Did you hear about the Dole truck that crashed?
It was speeding down the interstate going 20 over the speed limit with a bunch of monkeys hanging off the side when suddenly it lost control and crashed, spilling the contents of it's trailer across all four lanes blocking traffic for hours.
It was bananas.
What's the epitome of cruelty?
Giving monkey a straight razor and saying it's a banana.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It's true. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
A monkey, chimp, gorilla and King Kong tries to take bananas from a coconut tree. Who will get it?
Neither! Coconut trees don't grow bananas!
What's green and tastes like banana?
A monkey 's spit.
TIL that, on average, humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
This is partially due to the fact that most humans don't like the taste of monkey.
Apparently humans eat more bananas than monkeys
To be fair I don't remember the last time I ate a monkey
I just read that humans eat more bananas than monkeys
I cannot remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Statistically humans eat more bananas than monkeys
Yeah, I don't see a lot of people eating monkeys around here
Apparently humans eat more bananas then monkeys
It's true, i can't remember the last time I ate a monkey
What key can open a banana?
A mon**key**
Credit to a 4 year old
The craziest job I ever had was cleaning the monkey cages in our local zoo.
That s**... was bananas.
Yum yum!
So, I read a study the other day claiming that "humans eat more bananas than monkeys" which to me sounded a bit obvious.
I cant remember the last time I ate a monkey...
Today I learned that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
I just can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
A monkey asks another monkey
- What are you doing?
- Eating a banana.
- But why is it brown?
- Because I'm eating it the second time.
I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It's true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
Courtesy of my kid when she was seven: what's invisible and smells like bananas?
Monkey farts
How can people just sit and watch monkeys eating bananas for hours at the zoo?
Because they are appealing!
Puberty story
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair." Her sister smiled and said, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs.
A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said, "That part where the hair has grown is called your monkey. Be proud that your monkey has grown hair." The girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her sister, "My monkey has grown hair."
Her sister smiled and said, "That's nothing; mine is already eating bananas."
A lion notices a monkey by a river, dipping a banana peel into the water
He watches her for a few minutes, as she dips the peel, keeps it under water, and then takes it out, watches the water a bit, repeats. Finally, the lion gives up trying to make sense of the sequence.
"Hey, monkey"
"Hey, lion"
"What in the world are you doing?"
"Ten bucks and I will explain"
The lion pays her.
"Thanks. I'm dipping a banana peel in the water"
"w**..., monkey? You're the biggest idiot I've ever seen!"
"Sure, I'm an idiot, but I'm making $40 an hour."