Monica Lewinsky Jokes
82 monica lewinsky jokes and hilarious monica lewinsky puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about monica lewinsky that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Monica Lewinsky Short Jokes
Short monica lewinsky jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The monica lewinsky humour may include short marilyn monroe jokes also.
- Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for hillary clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
- Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government? Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
- Monica Lewinsky takes a dress to her dry cleaner. "Do you think you'll be able to get the stain out?" she asks.
"Come again?" the man at the counter responds.
"No, mustard," Monica replies - I really thought Monica Lewinsky should be on a dollar.. but she's already had her face on a Bill.
- Monica Lewinsky was recently offered a new position at a prestigious boarding school. Headmaster.
- What do you call a person who kneels after the President makes inappropriate comments? Monica Lewinsky
- Monica Lewinsky said it 20 years ago and she said it again this year Hillary Clinton wasn't the right person for the job.
- What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? Both say Please insert Bill.
- I heard that Monica Lewinsky voted Republican this year. The Democrats left her with a bad taste in her mouth.
- What did Bill Clinton find attractive about Monica Lewinsky? He said she had the prettiest smile he ever came across.
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Monica Lewinsky One Liners
Which monica lewinsky one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with monica lewinsky? I can suggest the ones about hillary clinton and chelsea clinton.
- Monica Lewinsky i have a joke I have an intern joke and it ... nevermind.
- What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? About one U.S Leader.
- What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.
- What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House? Receiving heads of state.
- How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold? One U.S. Liter
- Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor Because she's always blowing bills
- Bill Clinton right now, texting Monica Lewinsky "You up?"
- What does Monica Lewinsky say to call her dog over? "Come, spot!"
- Everybody hated Monica Lewinsky But now everybody wants her to get her old job back.
- Why did Monica Lewinsky quit politics? Because it left a bad taste in her mouth!
- If Clinton wins presidency, who will be First Lady? Monica Lewinsky
- Who is Monica Lewinsky's favorite football player? Ha Ha Clinton d**...
- What was Monica Lewinsky's high school yearbook superlative? Most likely to s**... seed.
- Why doesn't Chelsea Clinton have a brother or sister? Monica Lewinsky swallowed them.
- What do Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton have in common? They blew a seal.
Hilarious Fun Monica Lewinsky Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about monica lewinsky you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hilary clinton jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make monica lewinsky pranks.
Monica Lewinsky walks into the dry cleaners.
The old man behind the counter is hard of hearing and doesn't understand her request, so he says, "Come again." Monica responds, "No, this time it's mustard."
Love Handles
One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out.
"Greetings, Miss Lewinsky," the genie said. "Since you have released me, I will grant you one wish."
"Well," Monica replied, "I'm going to be on television alot for a while, and I want to look my best. I wish you would get rid of these love handles."
"Your wish is my command," said the genie. A wave of his hands, a puff of smoke...
And her ears promptly fell off.
What's white, located in washington and has a president within it?
Monica Lewinsky's teeth.
A man walks into a t-shirt store...
There are 3 shirts on display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."
The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."
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Oh, politics
Monica Lewinsky isn't sure if she'll vote for Hillary. She helped one Clinton and doesn't know if she can s**... another.
I came in second at a Monica Lewinsky look alike competition. . .
. . . the judge said I was close, but no cigar.
Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars?
Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear Monica Lewinski is in town?
I saw her going down on Clinton!
(most towns/cities have a Clinton St.)
Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency:
"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."
Hillary Clinton promised to reduce the national debt if elected...
Though I don't think can go any lower than Monica Lewinsky.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs
The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky...
...and Monica blew it!
Why are so many people caucusing for Hillary Clinton...
They were inspired by Monica Lewinsky.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?
He always shoves a Bill down her t**...!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'd rather vote for Monica Lewinsky than Hillary Clinton...
...because at least a little bit of Bill rubbed off on Monica!
What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?
It's their knees that go first.
Wow Monica Lewinski is 50
They grow up so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday, she was crawling around the Oval Office putting everything in her mouth.
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monica lewinsky had one job....
and she s**... at it.
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Monica Lewinsky says she WILL endorse Hillary for president...
..says Hillary Clinton "doesn't s**...."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What's Monica Lewinskys favorite time of day
Eight o'**...
Why Monica Lewinsky will campaign for the Republicans this time....
She wants to blow Donald's trumpet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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What do Hillary Clinton and Monica Lewinsky have in common?
Once they get to the White House, they both s**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?
All they talk about is the presidential e**...
Did anyone else see that 60 Minutes interview with Monica Lewinsky last night?
She said she wasn't very happy about possibly having another Clinton in the White House. That the last one left a bad taste in her mouth.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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To those of you who think Hillary s**..., I can prove you wrong in two words...
Monica Lewinsky
We all know how Bill cheated on Hillary with Monica Lewinsky.
Well, did you hear that Hillary cheated on Bill with somebody named Ben Ghazi?
Monica Lewinsky just turned 43
It seems like only yesterday she was crawling on the floor of the White House
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did Bill Clinton say to Monica Lewinsky after getting caught?
"I told you to lick my e**..., not wreck my election".
What did Monica Lewinsky lean over and say to Mark Cuban at the Presidential Debate?
Is that a Cuban Cigar?
THAT SMILE
A reporter asks Bill Clinton,. 'What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?"
He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Many people think that Hillary Clinton s**......
But Monica Lewinsky Swallows
What is the quickest way to get Trump out of The White House??
Put Monica Lewinsky in there.
She's not the hero we deserve, but she'd be da real MVP we need right now.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do Monica Lewinsky and the New York Giants have in common?
They were both terrorized by Clinton d**..., Ha Ha.
What did Bill Clinton say when asked about
What did Bill Clinton say when asked about Monica Lewinsky's best feature?
She has the whitest teeth I've ever came across.
Can't blame Monica Lewinsky for getting her dress dirty...
I'm sure she just didn't see it coming...
What does Monica Lewinsky going to the oval office and you cashing your paycheck have in common?
In both cases somebody leaves with a hand full of Bills.
Why was Chelsea Clinton an only child?
Because Monica Lewinsky swallowed all her siblings.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Hillary Clinton wants the President held accountable for his s**... abuses
Monica Lewinski said #metoo
Hillary Clinton found out that Bill was getting it on with Monica Lewinsky.
She shrugged her shoulders and said "Better her than me."
[Year = 2000] What's the difference between Monica Lewinsky and the Russian Navy?
Monica Lewinsky saves her Se[a]men.
My wife took a knee during the national anthem
As we role played Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky in the bed room.
The question of Monica Lewinsky:
Did she blow a sitting U.S. president or blow him while standing?
Why didn't Monica Lewinsky get a tax return in 1995?
Clinton was paying her under the table.
