Monica Jokes
133 monica jokes and hilarious monica puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about monica that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Find out why Monica from Friends is the butt of so many jokes and learn the hilarious reasons behind her name, the Monica/Chandler relationship, Santa Monica, Alicia, Jennifer and Hillary.
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Funniest Monica Short Jokes
Short monica jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The monica humour may include short presidential jokes also.
- Cheer up Hilary! At least you won't have to work at the same desk that Monica spent so much time under.
- Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for hillary clinton this election She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
- Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government? Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
- Monica Lewinsky takes a dress to her dry cleaner. "Do you think you'll be able to get the stain out?" she asks.
"Come again?" the man at the counter responds.
"No, mustard," Monica replies - I really thought Monica Lewinsky should be on a dollar.. but she's already had her face on a Bill.
- Monica Lewinsky was recently offered a new position at a prestigious boarding school. Headmaster.
- Monica said she wasn't voting for Hilary... because the last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth
- Monica Lewinsky is going to vote for Bernie The last time a Clinton was in office it left a bad taste in her mouth.
- What do you call a person who kneels after the President makes inappropriate comments? Monica Lewinsky
- Oh, Bill... A reporter asks Bill Clinton, "How's Hillary's head?"
He answers, "Well, she's no Monica!"
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Monica One Liners
Which monica one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with monica? I can suggest the ones about monica lewinsky and impeachment.
- Monica Lewinsky i have a joke I have an intern joke and it ... nevermind.
- What is the volume of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? About one U.S Leader.
- What's the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? One US leader.
- If Hillary becomes president She'll be sitting at the desk Monica sat under
- How did Hillary Clinton beat Bernie? The same way Monica beat Bill... under the table
- What was Monica Lewinsky's job at the White House? Receiving heads of state.
- Monica Lewinsky joke I have an intern joke and it... nevermind.
- How much liquid can Monica Lewinskys mouth hold? One U.S. Liter
- Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor Because she's always blowing bills
- Why doesn't Chelsea Clinton have a brother or sister? Monica Lewinsky swallowed them.
- Bill Clinton right now, texting Monica Lewinsky "You up?"
- What does Monica Lewinsky say to call her dog over? "Come, spot!"
- Everybody hated Monica Lewinsky But now everybody wants her to get her old job back.
- What do Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton have in common? They blew a seal.
- Why did Monica Lewinsky quit politics? Because it left a bad taste in her mouth!
Monica Lewinsky Jokes
Here is a list of funny monica lewinsky jokes and even better monica lewinsky puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Monica Lewinsky said it 20 years ago and she said it again this year Hillary Clinton wasn't the right person for the job.
- What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common? Both say Please insert Bill.
- Why Didn't Monica Lewinsky Vote For Hilary Clinton? Because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
- I heard that Monica Lewinsky voted Republican this year. The Democrats left her with a bad taste in her mouth.
- Monica Lewinsky says she won't endorse Hillary for president... "The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth"
- Why isnt Monica Lewinsky voting for Hillary? The last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth.
- Monica Lewinski released a statement that said she would be voting for Donald Trump the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth
- What does Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common? They both say "insert Bill here"
- What did Bill Clinton find attractive about Monica Lewinsky? He said she had the prettiest smile he ever came across.
- Did you hear Monica Lewinsky became a republican? The democrats just left a bad taste in her mouth
Monica Name Jokes
Here is a list of funny monica name jokes and even better monica name puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do so many black people name their kids Monica..? You always hear them: * Whatup Monica? *
- I don't get it, why do black people always call each other that? I highly doubt that ALL of their names are Monica...
- Warning! Bad joke. What would you call a game that has a totally nice and normal girl named Monica?
- Oki Doki literature club - We all know how Bill cheated on Hillary with Monica Lewinsky. Well, did you hear that Hillary cheated on Bill with somebody named Ben Ghazi?
Chandler Monica Jokes
Here is a list of funny chandler monica jokes and even better chandler monica puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The cast of Friends got shipwrecked on an deserted island... Monica, Joey and Chandler were left behind because in real life David is a Schwimmer and Lisa Kudrow.
- Ross's sister had a fear of wind instruments So Chandler played the drums.
He didn't want to Harm Monica. - Why did Chandler play the blues as loud as he could? He wanted to harm monica.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Monica Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about monica you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean maria jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make monica pranks.
Dry Cleaning
Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean."
Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"
"No," says Monica. "Mustard this time."
Monica Lewinsky walks into a cleaners....
with a dress and yells at the old owner who is hard of hearing
"I need to dry clean my dress"
The owner cups his hand next to his ear
"come again"
"No it's ketchup this time"
Another day at the White House
After returning from the White House after a forum on s**... in the workplace, Monica Lewinsky takes her dress to the dry cleaner.
The dry cleaner has an ear infection and is having trouble hearing.
Monica says to the dry cleaner, I need my dress cleaned. The dry cleaner does not hear her well and says "come again", and Monica replies, "No, mustard"
The Presidential Clock
Bill: Do you want to see the Presidential Clock?
Monica: Sure!
Bill: Okay. (Unzips pants and pulls it out)
Monica: That don't look like no clock I ever saw Sir.
Bill: It will if you put a face and two hands on it.
recently re-relevant
So Monica Lewinsy rushes into the dry cleaner with a blue dress clutched in her hand. Recognizing the man behind the counter, she says "I need this dress cleaned right away." Realizing that he has been spoken to, but not certain what was said, the dry cleaner responds "Come again?"
No, says Lewisnki. It's yogurt.
I don't think Hillary Clinton would make a good president.
Last time she had a job she outsourced it to Monica.
What's white, located in washington and has a president within it?
Monica Lewinsky's teeth.
What was Monica Lewinsky's high school yearbook superlative?
Most likely to s**... seed.
A man walks into a t-shirt store...
There are 3 shirts on display.
The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."
The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."
The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."
Last year Hillary got a concussion. Obama recently bumped into Clinton and asked "Bill, how is Hillary's head?"
"Not as good as Monica"
Monica Lewinsky just released a statement on the presidential candidacy of Hillary Clinton...
She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.
I highly doubt that Monica Lewinsky will support Hillary in 2016.
I mean, the last time a Clinton was a president, it left a really bad taste in her mouth.
Monica Lewinski walks into the dry cleaners
She says, "I have another dress for you to clean."
The owner who is slightly hard of hearing replies, "Come again?"
"Oh no, it's just mustard"
I came in second at a Monica Lewinsky look alike competition. . .
. . . the judge said I was close, but no cigar.
Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars?
Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!
Hillary Clinton s**...!
No she doesn't, because if she did Bill wouldn't have Monica.
Who is Monica Lewinsky's favorite football player?
Ha Ha Clinton d**...
Apparently Monica Lewinsky is voting Republican
The Democrats must've left a bad taste in her mouth
(Shamefully stolen from facebook sorry if it's a repost)
Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency:
"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."
The US can't rely on Hillary Clinton to create jobs
The last meaningful job Hillary had was outsourced to Monica Lewinsky...
...and Monica blew it!
Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners
Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners, the guy is a little old and hard of hearing. Monica says "i need to get this dress cleaned, no starch, use the same hanger."
The dry cleaner responds "come again?"
Monica says "nope, this time it's mustard."
Why doesn't Monica Lewinsky like going to the doctor?
He always shoves a Bill down her t**...!
I'd rather vote for Monica Lewinsky than Hillary Clinton...
...because at least a little bit of Bill rubbed off on Monica!
Contrary to popular criticism, Hillary doesn't s**....
If she does, Bill wouldn't have needed Monica.
What do Monica Lewinsky and NFL players both have in common?
It's their knees that go first.
Wow Monica Lewinski is 50
They grow up so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday, she was crawling around the Oval Office putting everything in her mouth.
Phew, don't have to think of a catchy title today
Why is Monica so exited for the next Clinton presidency?
This time she won't have to s**....
Monica Lewinsky says she WILL endorse Hillary for president...
..says Hillary Clinton "doesn't s**...."
Hillary has been outsourcing jobs since the nineties.
It's true. Ask Monica.
Bill Clinton says "Hey Monica, you want to see the clock in the Oval Office?.......
She says "sure"... and goes in there. Bill Clinton unzips his pants and pulls out his little Billy.
Monica says "That's not a clock".
To which Bill replies "It is if you put two hands and a face on it".
Hillary s**...
But not like Monica
What would be funny about Hillary as president?
That she would be sitting at the desk that Monica once kneeled under!
What do Monica Lewinsky and an Asian political correspondent have in common?
All they talk about is the presidential e**...
I kinda want Hillary to win the US election
Just for the sheer irony of her sitting at the desk Monica was under.
Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump
Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth.
Did anyone else see that 60 Minutes interview with Monica Lewinsky last night?
She said she wasn't very happy about possibly having another Clinton in the White House. That the last one left a bad taste in her mouth.
Sure Hillary s**......
...Just not as much as Monica.
I told my family I'm voting for Hillary, she can't blow it!
If she did Monica wouldn't have to.
Monica Lewinsky just turned 43
It seems like only yesterday she was crawling on the floor of the White House
I am tired of hearing people say that Hillary s**......
It's Monica that does.
If you think Hillary is going to drop out of the presidential race, you should know Hillary doesn't go down...
That's why Bill had Monica.
Obama : The people are worried Hillary is not focused.... How is her head currently???
Bill Clinton: Well she's no Monica... But she's good.
Who is Santa Claus?
Because if in Spanish, "Santo" or "San" is used for male saints...
(San Francisco, San Diego)
And "Santa" is used for female saints...
(Santa Monica, Santa Barbara)
Wouldn't that make Santa Claus t**...?
I'm so tired of people saying Hillary s**......
She doesn't. Just ask Bill and Monica.
THAT SMILE
A reporter asks Bill Clinton,. 'What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?"
He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."
What is the quickest way to get Trump out of The White House??
Put Monica Lewinsky in there.
She's not the hero we deserve, but she'd be da real MVP we need right now.
I live in Santa Monica, Los Angeles. My girlfriend is taking a flight from London to come see me. I have promised her that I'll go pick her up from the airport
We'll both leave our respective houses at the same time :|
What do Monica Lewinsky and the New York Giants have in common?
They were both terrorized by Clinton d**..., Ha Ha.
What did Bill Clinton say when asked about
What did Bill Clinton say when asked about Monica Lewinsky's best feature?
She has the whitest teeth I've ever came across.
Can't blame Monica Lewinsky for getting her dress dirty...
I'm sure she just didn't see it coming...
What does Monica Lewinsky going to the oval office and you cashing your paycheck have in common?
In both cases somebody leaves with a hand full of Bills.
Girlfriend: Love you babe, x**...…
*-I love you too!*
I'd be *so* happy if u put x's in when u SMS me...
*-Ok! Rachel, Sarah, Monica.*
