Money Tight Jokes
15 money tight jokes and hilarious money tight puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about money tight that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Money Tight Short Jokes
Short money tight jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The money tight humour may include short money bags jokes also.
- My financial adviser said I should be tight with my money. So when I got home I high-fived my wallet.
- Money is really tight this year... My family has decided that we are going to exchange glances for Christmas.
- My prison cell-mate just asked me if I was tight. Why does he care about how I spend my money?
- We didn't have much growing up and money was tight. So when one day my dad found a crutch lying on the road, he came home and broke my leg.
- How to explain to your parents that you are a p**... Hey mom, remember when I said I was tight for money? Now I'm loose for money.
- I'm not saying my wife is tight f**... with money.. But I had to join her only fans to see her n**... .
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Money Tight One Liners
Which money tight one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with money tight? I can suggest the ones about owe money and pocket money.
- My girlfriend is really tight. She saves lots of money but spends it on nothing.
Money Tight Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about money tight you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tight pants jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make money tight pranks.
Money was a little tight, so I entered a pun writing contest...
I read the rules carefully, and it turns out that there was no limit on the amount of times you could enter, so I submitted ten separate entries.
I thought my chances were good, but I just looked at the contest winners to see if any of my entries won, and unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Money's a bit tight, so my wife said i'd have to stop buying beer...
...then she buys $80 worth of makeup. I ask her why she can buy stuff like that but i can't.
She says the makeup is so she'll look attractive for me. I answered well that's what the beer is for.
I don't think she's coming back this time...
A deeply in love boy says to his girlfriend ...
"I might not be rich, nor have any money or expensive apartments, and even not be the owner of many companies like my friend Jack, but i love you, and i always will"
She, hugging him tight and already crying answered :
" If you really love me, will you introduce me to your friend Jack please ? "
Prices are going up
Two housewives met in the local supermarket. One had filled her shopping cart with Vaseline. She explained, They are going to raise the price so, I'm stocking up.
The other woman replied, I'd never go to such extremes to save money. I'm not that tight.
New beer at Tesco
Tesco have announced that they will be adding a new beer to their value real ale range.
Alongside the affordable Simply Golden Ale and the inexpensive Simply Dark, they're adding Simply Red, for when money's too tight to mention.
An elderly lady's husband just passed away and to get things ready she went to the place that sells and engraves tombstones...
When she got there, she ordered the most expensive tombstone she could afford. They were married 65 years after all and; had 6 children, made lots of money, traveled many places, made lots of memories, and loved each other very much of course.
When paying for the tombstone, they asked what she would like engraved in the stone. To which she replied, "To my dearest husband, you were my love and my life. I cannot wait to see you again one day. Rest In Peace" as it was a common and courteous thing.
Later that day she went to find out what she would get of her husbands remaining possessions, as it turns out, he didn't leave her a thing, nothing. Not one item, not one car, not one penny.
The elderly lady was so furious. How could she not get anything after all they have been through? She knew her husband was tight with his money but this had to be a mistake. Going over the papers for a second, third, and fourth time it stayed the same. Nothing for the lady.
So the following day she goes back to the place she ordered the tombstone and said to the man running it, "I would like something added to my late husbands tombstone. You can keep everything I had on it. Especially the, 'Rest in Peace' , but I want you to add 'Until I Get There'."
Interview with the 3x Widow (Clean Joke)
A journalist for a local newspaper was an interviewing an old woman who had been married three times before and was about to embark on her fourth marriage at the ripe old age of 90.
**Interviewer**: "Please give me a quick run down of the men you married in the past",
**Old Lady**: "We'll my first husband was the CEO of a bank. He died from a heart attack from stress. God bless him.
My second husband was so much different. He was a circus performer. He could s**... swords, walk a tight rope, and tame lions. Unfortunately, one of the lions wasn't fed one day, and I was single once again.
My third husband was the minister for my past two husbands funerals. I'm happy to say that he passed away peacefully surrounded by his friends and family.
And my soon to be fourth husband is the mortician who buried all three of my former husbands. He has always been there for me and is a kind man. I love him dearly.
**Interviewer**: Wow, that's a quite variety of men. So how would you summarize your love life?
**Old Lady**: Well, I guess you could say, I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.