Then does having sex for free make you a non-profit whoreganisation?
Can't believe I've spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it...
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff.
The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
My uncle didn't take my money when he fucked me.
I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.
But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
"I don't know man, there are so many fields to choose from."
She said no, she thinks I'm just after my money
They like to beat the crowds.
Because it's gross income
A man and his wife are talking.
W- can you help me in the garden?
H- do i look like a fucking gardener?
W- well can you help with the door?
H- do i look like a fucking carpenter?
Man leaves for work. Comes back later and it's all done.
H- see I knew you could do it!
W- wasn't me. It was John the neighbor.
H- how much you pay him?
W- no money he gave me the choice between sex and bread.
H- I hope you gave him bread.
W- Do I look like a fucking baker?
But I'm pretty sure she'll figure out I'm just after my money.
Shout, I got money on that guy with the knife!
Dave: I wish I was rich.
Genie: Granted, what's your second wish?
Rich: I want lots of money.
So I woke up to look with him.
A trucker who has been out on the road for two weeks stops at a brothel outside Atlanta. He walks straight up to the Madam, drops down $500 and says, "I want your ugliest woman and a grilled cheese sandwich!"
The Madam is astonished. "But sir, for that kind of money you could have one of my finest ladies and a three-course meal."
The trucker replies, "Listen, I ain't horny. I'm homesick."
Genie: what will be your first wish?
Dave: I want to be rich
Genie: Granted. What will be your second wish?
Rich: I want a lot of money
At least I'd get a sense of pride and accomplishment for my money
I'd have enough money to bail my ass out of prison.
it wouldn't matter because money is a social construct and existence is meaningless
I get it, you have more money than me. No need to be a dick about it.
To reverse and leaving the scene
Robber: "Give me all your money or you are GEOGRAPHY!'
Cashier (puzzled) "Did you mean to say "or you're history?"
Robber: "Don't change the subject."
Then they call me ugly and poor.
I asked him, "Would you drink with a bloke who's a liar, always late, borrows money he never pays back, always tries to squirm out of his round, jealous of everything you have, and when your back is turned he tries to fuck your wife and daughter?"
"Bloody hell! No!" he said, somewhat flabbergasted.
"Well, neither would Pete,"
She was upset that I was always beating her, and he was jealous of how much money and property I had.
I was so angry when I caught them that I flipped the game board over and left them to pick up all the pieces.
A woman preparing to leave her husband casually informs him, "I'm going to become a hooker. I can make $400 for what I give you for free."
"I'm coming with you," the man replies. "I want to see you live on $800 a year."
...and shouts "your money or your life!"
The student keeps walking, and says "Sorry mate, I'm a Computer Science student. I don't have either".
Interviewer: Congratulations on your win! If you don't mind me asking, how will you spend you $1 million winnings?
Poker player: I owe some people some money so I will be paying my debt to these guys.
Interviewer: and what about the rest?
Poker player: Well... I guess they'll have to wait..
Mike: Nice to meet you. I'm a retired businessman. When my store burned down, rather than rebuilding I took the insurance money and retired here.
John: You know, I'm a retired businessman, too. When a flood washed away my store I took the insurance money and retired here, too.
Mike is silent for a while then he asks John, "How do you start a flood?"
Non Prophet Organizations
It reminds me of why there is no fucking money in there.
An amateur thief says, "Give me all your money!"
A professional thief says, "Sign here please.."
Dad: It's complicated but let me try to explain. Honey, would you sleep with the neighbor for 100,000$?
Mom: Yes of course because I know we need the money.
Dad: Very good. Alright now Tasha, would you have sex with the neighbor's son for 200,000$?
Daughter: Yeah sure!
Dad: Perfect. So you see son, right now we would have 300,000 fictional dollars but in reality we have two whores in this house.
1. They need money for drugs
2. I need money for drugs
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