Money Deposit Jokes
26 money deposit jokes and hilarious money deposit puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about money deposit that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Money Deposit Short Jokes
Short money deposit jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The money deposit humour may include short money collection jokes also.
- So I went to the bank to deposit money and the teller asked for my ID. I said
"Wait, people wanted to put money in my bank account and you stopped them?!" - With everything that's going on I called my bank to make sure my deposit was safe. They assured me I don't have enough money to worry about it.
- MONEY IN MY ACCOUNT I went to Bank to deposit a check, and they asked me for ID. I said, Are you telling me other people are trying to put money into my account and you're telling them no?
- I went to Bank of America to deposit a check, and they asked me for ID. I said, Are you telling me other people are trying to put money into my account and you're telling them no?
- A mathematician imagines depositing his next paycheck. A friend asks:"So, how much money do you have, anyway?" The mathematician replies, "It's complex."
- Why did a woman include a bag of m**... with her ATM transaction? She thought it would speed up her deposit!
- A t**... girl is depositing money at the bank. Teller: Did you hoard all this money yourself?
Girl: No, my sister w**... half of it.
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Money Deposit One Liners
Which money deposit one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with money deposit? I can suggest the ones about down payment and deposit.
- Where do polar bears go to deposit money? A snowbank
- Where do people from Prague deposit their money? Into their Czeching account
- Where do frogs deposit their money? In a river bank.
- What do people do when their money moves too fast? De-pos-it.
- Where do fish deposit their money? River banks
- Tom Hanks deposits money. Tom Banks
- What do you call a direct deposit that takes all of your money? A c**...
Money Deposit Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about money deposit you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean money bags jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make money deposit pranks.
A man wants to deposit money at a Swiss bank.
"How much do you want to deposit?" asks the bank employee.
Whispers the man, "Three million."
"You can speak up," says the bank clerk. "In Switzerland, poverty is not a disgrace."
A rich man demanded to be buried with his money
Upon his death bed a miser demanded he be buried with all his money leaving behind nothing for his wife and children. After his death some friends approached his widow to offer her jobs and gifts but discover she has bought a new home, car, and wardrobe. The friends ask how she can afford all of this with the entire estate being buried with her deceased husband? The widow replied, well I deposited the funds from the estate into my account and buried my dear husband with a check for the total.
Real conversation with my 6-year-old:
Him (looking at a bank building): Is this where they keep the money that you donate to them?
Me: Yes, but we don't _donate_ to the bank, we _deposit_ into the bank. 'Deposit' means that you're going to take it back later. 'Donate' means that you just give it away and don't expect to ever get it back.
Him: Oh, I know an example of donate. Like, when you earn money and pay your taxes, you are _donating_ to the government because you're never gonna get it back. Right?
Me: ???
A p**... goes to the bank to deposit her earnings
The teller starts flipping through the cash, and realizes it's counterfeited. When she tells the p**..., the response is "That can't be true. Please look over it again"
"Sorry ma'am, this really *is* counterfeit money"
The p**... takes a step back and says "Oh my, I've been *r**...*!"
A soldier in my National Guard platoon...
...... became concerned when the Army insisted that he sign up for direct deposit.
"It's not going to work for me," he said, panicked.
"Why not?" I asked.
"Because I use my Guard pay for spending money."
"So?"
"For the past ten years, I've been telling my wife that I serve for free!"
A Saudi Arabian Oil Baron sends his son to study abroad...
To help his son in his life and studies abroad, he gives his son a good deal of money and more importantly, a Ferrari sportscar, as he though it might be a good idea to flaunt some wealth.
Despite this, a few weeks later his son calls him and laments Dad, every time I go to lectures, I drive there with my Ferrari, but everyone else there takes the train, its really awkward as I'm the only guy with a car!
Incensed, the Oil Baron practically yells into the phone Son, I'm depositing 10 million Euros into your account now, stop embarrassing your family and buy yourself a train!