Mondays Jokes
31 mondays jokes and hilarious mondays puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mondays that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mondays Short Jokes
Short mondays jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mondays humour may include short monday work jokes also.
- Monday - Greg, Tuesday - Ian, Wednesday - Greg, Thursday - Ian, Friday - Greg, Saturday - Ian, Sunday - Greg The Gregorian calendar
- A guy goes to his doctor because he can see into the future. The doctor asks him - How long have you suffered from that condition?
The guy tells him - Since next Monday. - I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday. My boss said, Clean our your desk, and I'll see you in the office on Monday.
- My parents decided the key to a successful marriage is going out to a fancy restaurant twice a week. My dad goes out Mondays and my mom goes out Fridays.
- How do I say I hate you in a nice way? "You are the Monday of my life".
Happy Monday ya'll. - Boss: Can you work this weekend? Me: Yeah no worries but I'll probably be a bit late as public transport is slow on weekends.
Boss: What time will you get here?
Me: Monday. - Valentines Day is on Monday Funerals usually take place on Saturday and Sunday. After the burial the flowers will still be fresh. What you do with this information is up to you.
- Shoutout to my teachers from high school who said I would work at McDonalds I have my first shift on Monday.
- I'm going to start brewing beer and name it after the first day of the week. Whenever a 24 or 30 pack is brought to a party they'll say, "Looks like someone has a case of the Mondays".
- I was watching women's volleyball during the Olympics and there was already a wrist injury But don't worry, I should be fine by Monday.
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Mondays One Liners
Which mondays one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mondays? I can suggest the ones about monday office and monday morning.
- How do you make a blonde laugh on a Friday night? Tell them a joke on Monday.
- How many excel users does it take to screw in a light bulb? Monday January 01, 1900
- A lot of people don't like Mondays But 48 hours ago was a sadder day.
- Diarrhoea Awareness Week starts on Monday Runs until Friday.
- What do you call a person who's happy on a Monday? unemployed.
- I said hello to a feminist today, My trial starts next Monday.
- The worst thing about Friday the 13th Is monday the 16th
- Wait, Cyber Monday is about shopping? Apologies to my friends on my chat list...
- I love Mondays... It's when I take my weekly sarcasm class.
- One day on venus lasts 5,832 hours The same as one Monday on Earth
- What do you call people who like Mondays? Retired people.
- I'm financially set for life ...providing I die next Monday
- Why can't Monday get a girlfriend? Because it always comes to fast
- How do you make a blond laugh on monday? Tell her a joke on tuesday
- How to make a blonde laugh at Monday morning? Tell her a joke at Friday night.
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Mondays Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about mondays you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tomorrow jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mondays pranks.
A desert island with six women
A bloke found himself stranded on a desert island with six women. To keep it fair, it was decided he would service a different woman every night and have Mondays free. After a few months the man was exhausted, realising how tiring it was to perform constantly every night except one. Then one day, to his joy, he found a man washed up on the beach who would be able to take some of the workload from him. However, his hopes were shattered when the man's first words were, "Hi, gorgeous, how about the kiss of life?"
'Oh f\*c**...,' thinks the man, 'there goes Mondays.'
A tech company gets a new CTO...
She comes in and says hey, we're gonna make some changes around here.
Mondays we won't work, we'll be recovering from the weekend. Tuesdays we won't work, we'll be getting ready for the work week. Wednesdays, that's our new work week. Thursdays we won't work, we need to recover from a long work week, and Fridays we won't work, we'll need to get ready for the weekend.
A senior programmer in the back raises his hand and says hey, I'm not sure I understand... Does this mean we have to start working on Wednesdays?
Mondays are like prostate exams...
A pain in the a**..., but at least they only happen once per week.
Secret to a happy marriage is to go out for dinner twice a week, to flirt and have fun.
Wife goes on Mondays, I go on Fridays
I said to my gym teacher
How often would I have to come in here to learn to do the splits. He said it depends how flexible are you? I said well I can't do mondays.
What fundamental force compels physicists to go to work on Mondays?
The week force.
Mondays
God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend.
People say its a Case of the Mondays
Tuesday is when you realize it's a preexisting condition
James A. Garfield was shot on Saturday, July 2, 1881.
He died months later, on Monday, September 19, 1881.
Garfield hates Mondays.
What would be a terrible name for a new beer?
Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer?
A: "Mondays"…because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...
What do you call a goose on Mondays?
A mongoose.
