mona Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious mona puns

My ex is like the Mona Lisa

It's not that she is pretty or anything, but I would be ecstatic if I came home to find her hanging in the living room


My ex wife is like the Mona Lisa

I mean, she's not that pretty or anything, but I would be damn near ecstatic if I came home and found her hanging in the living room


My ex is like the Mona Lisa It's not that she is pretty or anything,

but I would be overjoyed if I came home to find her hanging in the living room.


Mona Lisa was sentenced to life imprisonment.

She assured me she was framed.


My dick is like the Mona Lisa

Small and disappointing in person


Monastery Life

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.

He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, 'We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.'

He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him.
He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.

'We missed the **R**!

We missed the **R**!

*We missed the* **R***!'*

His forehead is all bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, 'What's wrong, father?'

With a choking voice, the old abbot replies,

'The word was...

CELEB**R**ATE !!!'


The Mona Lisa was arrested for loitering today

But it wasn't her fault, she was framed.


Monastery of Silence

Sister Mary Katherine entered the Monastery of Silence. The Priest said,
"Sister, this is a silent monastery. You are welcome here as long as you
like, but you may not speak until I direct you to do so".

Sister Mary Katherine lived in the monastery for 5 years before the
Priest said to her, "Sister Mary Katherine, you have been here for 5
years. You may speak two words."

Sister Mary Katherine said, "Hard bed." "I'm sorry to hear that," the
Priest said, "We will get you a better bed."

After another 5 years, Sister Mary Katherine was called by the Priest.
"You may say another two words, Sister Mary Katherine.

"Cold food," said Sister Mary Katherine, and the Priest assured her that
the food would be better in the future.

On her 15th anniversary at the monastery, the Priest again called Sister
Mary Katherine into his office. "Again, you may say two words today."

"I quit," said Sister Mary Katherine.

"It's probably best", said the Priest, "You've done nothing but bitch
since you got here."


I like my women to be like the Mona Lisa...

Her dad's not in the picture.


A monastery is in financial trouble, so it goes into the fish-and-chips business to raise money.

One night a customer knocks on its door. A monk answers. The customer asks, Are you the fish friar?

No, he replies. I'm the chip monk.


That Mona Lisa...

She's no oil painting, is she?


Why did the Mona Lisa commit murder?

She never did, she was just framed!


My wife pulled this one on me the other day

My wife: you know Mona Lisa
Me: yeah?
My Wife: well before she met me she was just Lisa


Why is Mona Lisa smiling?

She is in Louvre


Someone accused the Mona Lisa of killing a man.

But I think she's been framed


I came across an interesting piece at The Louvre today...

Mona Lisa didn't look very impressed while I was wiping it all off.


If a monastery had a barbecue, what would you call the chef?



I can't stop starting at the Mona Lisa...

I think I'm in Louvre.


How many monastics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Nun. They'll sit in the dark ages.


My girlfriend doesn't like my dog Mona

so we can't keep her anymore. If you're interested please contact me. She's 26 and works in IT.


Mona Lisa's Mother

If Mona Lisa's mother were Jewish, she would have said: "Mona, bubbeleh, after all the money your father and I spent on your brace, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"


chunk norris is god

1.Chuck norris killed the Dead Sea.
2.When Chuck norris does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is ...pushing the earth down. ...3.There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Chuck norris allowed to live. 4.Chuck norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
5 Chuck norris can divide by zero.
6.Chuck norris can judge a book by it's cover.
7.Chuck norris can drown a fish.
8.Chuck norris can delete the Recycle Bin.
9.Chuck norris once got into a fight with a VCR player.Now it plays DVDs.
10.Chuck norris can slam a revolving door


[OC] The fake Mona Lisa

So a copy of a Mona Lisa painting is in her house when a policeman knocks at the door.

The Mona Lisa opens the door and says "Yes, officer?"

The policeman replies: "You're under arrest."

"What, why?"

"Well," the policeman says, taking out a photo from a security camera of two paintings, one with a decorative golden edge and another with none at all, "two Mona Lisa paintings entered a bank yesterday, and one commited a bank robbery in which $10,000 was lost."

The Mona Lisa copy examines the photo closely. "But that can't be *me*!"

"Why?" responds the officer.

"Well, that other painting had no border - I was framed."


What did the roadman say when he saw the Mona Lisa?

That's a peng ting.


So apparently a reporter made the Mona Lisa laugh.

I read it in an art-tickle.


Why the Mona Lisa smiles?

Because Da Vinci told her to
"Say cheeeeeeeeeeeeeese


You can tell monarchies are pretty corrupt...

they have nepotism written all over them


What did the Italian guy say to Lisa in bed?

Mona Lisa


Mona married Tony

The theme of their wedding was Monotony.


What are the most funny Mona jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Mona? Well, here are the best Mona dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Mona pick up lines to share with friends.


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