Mon Jokes
45 mon jokes and hilarious mon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mon Short Jokes
Short mon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mon humour may include short noon jokes also.
- Judas: C´mon Jesus we´re gonna be late for last supper Jesus: The what??
Judas: The supper.. we´re gonna be late for supper. - What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes? Fat. You get fat.
You were expecting a joke about pi? On my cake day?
C'mon, you know the rules!! - 4 conspiracy theorists walk into a bar. Now, C'MON! You can't tell me that's a coincidence!
- Two frenchmen were strolling down a boulevard... When one of them gasped, "Mon Dieu - here come my wife and my mistress!"
"Sacre Bleu!" Exclaimed his friend. "I was about to say the same thing!" - Two Rastafarians go to the river in Egypt and one of them gets in and says "Ey, mon, me not get wet"; his friend replies "Ya right, mon, you in denial"
- My favorite character in the wizard of oz is the scarecrow. I mean, c'mon, its a no-brainer.
- So the Jamaican said to the Arab.. "Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'
- So, I saw Simba walking today.. and he was walking too slow. So I told him "C'mon! Mufasa"!
Edited for a bit more for clarity.. - Went to a nice restaurant with my 10 year-old and ordered a pricey entree. She asked me how it was, and I said It's just how I make it at home . She said C'mon dad, it can't be that bad
- A Jamaican guy asks another Jamaican guy... "Hey mon, do you know what the thing that casts the shadow in a sundial is called?"
The other guy thinks for a moment and then responds: "Gnomon".
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Mon One Liners
Which mon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mon? I can suggest the ones about and .
- My friend didn't believe me that Slash was in AC/DC C'mon he is right there in the middle
- What do rats like on their birthday? Mice cream and cake!
C'mon, you know the rules!! - What do you call it when a Jamaican chef cooks Hawaiian food? Poké, mon!
- What kind of key opens a banana A mon-key
- What days are the strongest? Saturday and Sunday, because Mon-Fri are weak days
- What sort of key do you use to open a banana? A mon-key
- Why did the Jamaican spice dealer turn his life around? Because he was a cinna-mon
- I don't get the term "Pansexual" I mean, I like bread as much as the next guy, but c'mon!
- I asked mon ami whether he happens to play video games. He said Wii
- How does a Jamaican close a prayer? Ayy mon'
- Hipster peer pressure... C'mon, no one else is doing it.
- What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon? The 'mons of venus.
- I'm gonna open a Jamaican poke fusion resturant Called Poke Mon
- What do you call a baboon that has no way to get into his house? A Mon
- What do you call an exasperated Rastafarian? Sigh-mon
Howlingly Hilarious Mon Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about mon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mon pranks.
They say one out of every 5 people on the planet is Chinese.
The thing is, there's 5 people in my family. On of us must be Chinese.
I know it can't be me. I'm pretty sure it's not my mon or dad.
That leaves my brothers: Shawn, and Zhang Wei.
Whispers: *I think it's Shawn...*
Real happiness
A Russian, a Frenchman and an Englishman were discussing the meaning of real happiness
The English said "real happiness is reading a good book on a rainy night with a hot cup of tea by your side"
The Frenchman said : "non mon ami, real happiness is to meet a beautiful girl make love to her, then you go your separate ways never meeting again"
The Russian : "no you are both wrong, real happiness is when secret police come to your house in middle of night and tell you: Ivan Ivanovich you arrested for conspiracing against the state and you tell them : sorry Ivan Ivanovich lives next door."
A man walks past a house that has a sign posted up saying "Boat for sale" and decides to check it out
As he's walking up the driveway, all he sees is an old car and a grill.
Confused, he knocks on the door and asks the Jamaican home owner, "hey, I can see that you have a sign out front saying you've got a boat, but all I can see is an old car and a grill.."
"Ya mon!" the Jamaican home owner excitedly replies, "and dem boat for sale!"
An Irish, a Scot and an English man are digging.....
in their back gardens. 12 feet down the English man finds copper wire. In the local paper he announces England had internet 200 years ago.
The Scots mon finds wire at 16 feet and announces Scotland had internet 300 years ago.
The Irish man digs 22 feet! but finds nothing and states in the paper. 400 years ago Ireland had wireless.
A Jamaican man saunters into a bank
.. with a 25kg bag of m**... and hands it over to the cashier. Shocked, the cashier asks.. What's this for!? The man, a Rastafarian, replies; "Me 'ere to open a joint account, mon!"
a Frenchman sneezed paint onto a canvas
He showed it to a friend, who was astounded.
Who's responsible for this remarkable piece of work?
The Frenchman smiled and said, Mon nez
Man waits impatiently at the Jamaican restaurant...
Man: when will my burger be ready!?
Jamaican man: mon soon!
Man: Soon!? I've already been waiting for 45 min—
[both men were killed by a monsoon]
What do you get when your French and Spanish friends mix?
Mon amigos
What do you call a Jamaican spear wielding man?
Pokey Mon
What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?
I love the pokey, mon.
How do you wake up a charizard in Jamaica?
You Poke-em, Mon!
What do you call a Jamaican fish?
Sal mon
What do Jamaican Charizards eat in Hawaii?
Poke, mon.
How do Jamaican's end their prayers?
Ey mon.
A poor student writes to his dad for help.
Being the eloquent teen he is, all he can muster is;
"No mon, no fun, your son."
To which the father replies;
"Too bad, so sad, love dad."
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a German walk into a forest
Suddenly, they see a bear. The Frenchman says, "Mon Dieu!". The English says "Oh my god!". They look at the silent German. "Why haven't you said anything", they ask. He replies, "God is dead".
I asked my Jamaican friend what he named his pet fish
He said Sal mon
A Jamacian supermarket employee witnesses his coworker "Sal" commit m**...
Cop: You witnessed the m**... here today?
Jamacian guy: Yes mon I work here at the supermarket.
Cop: Well, did you see what happened?
Jamacian guy: Yes, it was Sal mon!
Cop: Sir we already know it happened in the fish department. I 'm asking if you know who did it. It's pronounced salmon by the way.
Jamacian guy: Sal MON!
Cop: NO IT'S SALMON!
Mon, Tues, Weds, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun.
That might sound weird, but it's just a bit of everyday speech.
Heart jokes
What did one human heart say to the other? I got a heart on
What did one Jamaican heart say to the other? That's a nice beat mon
What is the human hearts favorite kind of shirt? A wife beater
What did the coach say at Heart University? Come on guys let's get pumped
What did the police officer say to the human heart? You're under cardiac arrest
What did the heart say after he was assaulted? Man I sure took a beating
What's a Jamaican proctologist's favorite video game?
Poke a mon
What do Jamaicans eat when they are on vacation in Hawaii?
They eat poke mon!