Mon Jokes

What are some Mon jokes?

Two frenchmen were strolling down a boulevard...

When one of them gasped, "Mon Dieu - here come my wife and my mistress!"

"Sacre Bleu!" Exclaimed his friend. "I was about to say the same thing!"

Two Rastafarians go to the river in Egypt and one of them gets in and says "Ey, mon, me not get wet"; his friend replies

"Ya right, mon, you in denial"

So the Jamaican said to the Arab..

"Aye where you from? You from tha beach mon?" The Arab replied "Yemen!'

A Jamaican guy asks another Jamaican guy...

"Hey mon, do you know what the thing that casts the shadow in a sundial is called?"

The other guy thinks for a moment and then responds: "Gnomon".

An Irish, a Scot and an English man are digging.....

in their back gardens. 12 feet down the English man finds copper wire. In the local paper he announces England had internet 200 years ago.
The Scots mon finds wire at 16 feet and announces Scotland had internet 300 years ago.
The Irish man digs 22 feet! but finds nothing and states in the paper. 400 years ago Ireland had wireless.

Man waits impatiently at the Jamaican restaurant...

Man: when will my burger be ready!?

Jamaican man: mon soon!

Man: Soon!? I've already been waiting for 45 minβ€”

[both men were killed by a monsoon]

What do you call a Jamaican spear wielding man?

Pokey Mon

What did the Jamaican man say when asked why he didn't mind going to jail for stealing the Pikachu card?

I love the pokey, mon.

What do you call a Jamaican fish?

Sal mon

What do Jamaican Charizards eat in Hawaii?

Poke, mon.

How do Jamaican's end their prayers?

Ey mon.

A Jamaican man saunters into a bank

.. with a 25kg bag of marijuana and hands it over to the cashier. Shocked, the cashier asks.. What's this for!? The man, a Rastafarian, replies; "Me 'ere to open a joint account, mon!"

A poor student writes to his dad for help.

Being the eloquent teen he is, all he can muster is;

"No mon, no fun, your son."

To which the father replies;

"Too bad, so sad, love dad."

A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a German walk into a forest

Suddenly, they see a bear. The Frenchman says, "Mon Dieu!". The English says "Oh my god!". They look at the silent German. "Why haven't you said anything", they ask. He replies, "God is dead".

I asked my Jamaican friend what he named his pet fish

He said Sal mon

Mon, Tues, Weds, Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun.

That might sound weird, but it's just a bit of everyday speech.

What's a Jamaican proctologist's favorite video game?

Poke a mon

A Jamaican is sightseeing in Egypt.

A vehicle drives by, beeping its horn. "Coo yah!" he says. "It's tootin' car, mon!"

Did you hear about the priest that got knighted?

Congratulations to Sir Mon

What do Jamaicans eat when they are on vacation in Hawaii?

They eat poke mon!

A Jamacian supermarket employee witnesses his coworker "Sal" commit murder

Cop: You witnessed the murder here today?

Jamacian guy: Yes mon I work here at the supermarket.

Cop: Well, did you see what happened?

Jamacian guy: Yes, it was Sal mon!

Cop: Sir we already know it happened in the fish department. I 'm asking if you know who did it. It's pronounced salmon by the way.

Jamacian guy: Sal MON!


How did the Jamaican meteorologist report the risk of flash flooding?

"Mon, soon."

Heart jokes

What did one human heart say to the other? I got a heart on

What did one Jamaican heart say to the other? That's a nice beat mon

What is the human hearts favorite kind of shirt? A wife beater

What did the coach say at Heart University? Come on guys let's get pumped

What did the police officer say to the human heart? You're under cardiac arrest

What did the heart say after he was assaulted? Man I sure took a beating

What is Jamaican Pikachu's favorite dance?

The Polka Mon

How to make Mon jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Mon to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Mon? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Mon pick up lines to share with friends.

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