Momma Jokes
182 momma jokes and hilarious momma puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about momma that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Momma Short Jokes
Short momma jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The momma humour may include short daddy jokes also.
- Where do little jokes come from? Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
- What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Yo momma. - Every "yo momma" joke has been done thousands of times, by thousands of different people. Kinda like yo momma.
- Yo Momma is so fat... When she's walking down the street, cops driving by scream out, "Hey you two --break it up!"
- If a mass of beef fat is 'tallow', and mass of pig fat is 'lard', what is a mass of human fat called? 'American'.
Just kidding, it's actually called 'Yo Momma'.
- The heaviest things in the universe 3 - Neutron stars
2 - Black holes
1 - The collective weight of the people who thought this was a yo momma joke - Yo momma so fat, when she wants to take a bath... She fills up the tub and THEN turns on the water.
- Your momma so ugly Governments across the world conspired to spread a pandemic to get her to wear a mask.
- Seriously guys, every 'yo momma' joke has already been done thousands of times by thousands of people.. just like yo momma!
- Your momma is so fat.... Your momma is so fat that when she accepts website cookies they run out.
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Momma One Liners
Which momma one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with momma? I can suggest the ones about mummy and grandmother.
- Yo momma so fat, it wasn't the stork that brought her It was the crane!
- Yo momma is so fat… …her car has stretch marks.
- Yo momma is so fat ... She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.
- Yo momma is so vegan and fat... ..that she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.
- Your momma so ugly… She went into a haunted house and came out with a job application
- Yo momma's so fat, that when she fell no one was laughing but the ground was cracking up.
- Yo momma, she so fat... there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.
- Yo momma is SO slow…. That it took her 9 months to make a joke!
- Yo Momma works in IT... as a disk format cause she's FAT32
- Yo Momma is so ugly The government extended mask mandates to give everyone's eyes a break
- Yo momma so fat... Yo momma so fat when she talks to herself its a long distance call.
- Yo momma's so mean she has no standard deviation
- Your momma's so fat, she's like the negative cosine of X... They both go down after pi
- What did the momma cow say to her baby cows? It's pasture bedtime
- Your momma is so ugly.... Bill Cosby gave her coffee.
Momma Fat Jokes
Here is a list of funny momma fat jokes and even better momma fat puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.
- Your momma's so fat... she doesn't go back for seconds, she goes back for hours.
- Your momma's so fat Thanos had to clap
- Yo momma's so fat that objects 5 meters away accelerate at 1 m/s^2 toward her. What is yo momma's mass if G = 6.67x10^-11Nm^2/kg^2? Please, someone help me, I can't solve it and it's making me nuts.
- Your momma so fat It's been four weeks since Thanos snapped his fingers and she's still disintegrating.
- Yo momma so fat... She is considered a carbohydrate based life form.
- Yo Momma so fat (Avengers Edition) Yo Momma so fat it took Thanos 2 Snaps to destroy her.
- Yo momma so fat Not even dolby could surround her
- Yo momma so fat... The dinosaurs went extinct when she forgot her parachute.
- Your momma's so fat she gave her memory foam mattress brain damage....
Fat Momma Jokes
Here is a list of funny fat momma jokes and even better fat momma puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Your momma's so fat she went to the food court and was found guilty.
- Yo momma so fat She only needs a single cup of water to fill up her bath
- Yo momma's so fat It took me three fingers to swipe left.
- Your Momma's so fat... A Stormtrooper could hit her with a blaster shot.
- Yo momma is so fat, when she sat on an iPod, she made the iPad!
- Yo momma so fat she doesn't need the web.
She's world-wide. - Momma said life is like a box of chocolates... If you're fat it's not gonna last as long :/
- Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates... ... if you're fat, it won't last long.
- Yo momma is so fat, shes got more "coverage" than my cell phone provider
- Yo momma's so fat ...that the city of Dublin was named after her daily weight gain.
Fat Yo Momma Jokes
Here is a list of funny fat yo momma jokes and even better fat yo momma puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yo momma's so fat, her belt size is "Equator."
- yo momma so fat.. Jesus couldn't lift her spirit
- Yo momma so fat Her passport photo is a panoramic one
- Yo momma so fat, when she turns around, people give her a welcome back party!
- Yo momma so fat She has a hard time breathing and walking because of her obesity.
- Yo momma is so fat... When the doctors told her she had flesh-eating bacteria they gave her 10 years to live
- Yo momma so fat... ...she has an anthem and a flag .
- Yo momma's so fat When she went to McDonalds they had to call Burger King for backup
- Yo momma so fat.. ..she has a real horse on her Polo shirt.
- Yo momma is so fat… When she does magic tricks she vanishes into thick air
Old Momma Jokes
Here is a list of funny old momma jokes and even better old momma puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Your momma so old… You should call her and check in. Just say hello. Tell her you love her.
- Yo momma so old... She pre-ordered the bible
- Yo Momma jokes aren't funny... They're all old and have already been done by thousands of people. Just like yo momma.
- Yo Momma so Old Her social security number is 3.
- Yo momma is so old.. The Dead Sea was only sick.
- Yo momma so ugly... That even Bob the builder said he can't fix it.
Credit to my 8 year old nephew. - Young Bubba run up to his Mum and says, Momma, momma... At skool today, in the toilets, I learnt I got the biggest pee pee in fifth grade.
That's nice Bubba, she says, but you are 26 years old. - Yo Momma so old, God was her first boyfriend.
- Yo Momma is So Fat and Old The last time she went skydiving the dinosaurs went extinct.
- Yo momma so old... ...when electricity was invented she was already 3 months due on the bill
Share Hilarious Momma Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about momma you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mama jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make momma pranks.
Yo momma so fat
You took a picture of her on an empty sd card and it said memory full
Yo momma is so dumb, she thought a kernel panic was a KFC that was out of chicken.
YO momma so n**......
She pours salt water down her pants to keep the c**... fresh.
Yo momma is so ugly...
I almost didn't have s**... with her.
My favorite "yo momma" joke from the 2000s
Yo momma so fat she takes up TWO Myspaces. And her top 8 are all sandwiches.
It's kinda corny...
What did baby corn say to momma corn?
"Where's pop corn?"
Yo' momma so s**......
she thought euthanasia was a student exchange program.
Yo momma is so fat,
the sorting hat put her in all four houses.
Yo momma so poor...[original]
she vote for Obama cos she want change
ahhh thank you ill be here all week
Your momma so dumb
she tried to climb Mountain Dew
I love telling your momma jokes
she has a terrific sense of humor and a beautiful laugh.
Yo momma is so unfamiliar with the gym...
...she calls it James
Yo momma cooks so bad...
The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door.
>we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!
Yo momma so dumb, when she eats vegetables
It's considered canabilism!
Your computer science teaching momma is so fat...
... she can flatten a binary tree in O(1).
10 little monkeys jumping on the bed...
10 little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and broke his head.
Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"
.....
6 little monkeys jumping on the bed,
One fell off and broke his head.
Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,
"I'm calling social services."
Yo momma so fat,
...she can't even be emotionally carried away.
Custody trial
Momma bear and papa bear are in court finalizing their divorce and custody of junior bear. The judge asks junior bear who he wants to live with?
J: "do you want to live with momma bear? "
JB: "no, she beats me."
J: "do you want to stay with papa bear?"
JB: "no, he beats me too."
J: "then who will you live with?"
JB: "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody!"
Yo momma so fat...
She is geographically bipolar.
Yo momma so fat...
yo momma so fat, I crashed into her for 15 minutes
Yo mommas so ugly..
Scorpion said
"STAY OVER THERE"
Your momma so fat..
she sat on the library and invented the kindle.
Your momma so ugly ...
Not even Ripley can believe it
My grandpa would always tell me...
that when he was growing up, in rural Texas, his momma would give him $1 and send him down to the store. He'd come back with 2 loaves of bread, half a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and a pound of pork. He says you can't do that now-a-days, way too many security cameras.
Yo momma so fat
She got an event horizon.
A Family of Moles
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."
Your Momma is like Communism
no class
Best yo momma joke?
Your momma so ugly when she plays Mortal Kombat Scorpion says "stay over there"
Your momma so s**......
...her spirit animal is the s**....
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country.One day, the papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmmm, I smell sausage!" The momma mole poked her head outside of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!" The baby mole tried to poke his head out of the hole but couldn't get passed the two bigger moles.Finally giving up, he said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."
Yo momma is so fat
Her toenails aren't painted, just redshifted
Yo momma so ugly ..
Her portraits hang themselves
Yo momma so basic...
...she got a pH of 15.
Yo Momma so s**......
She brought a spoon to the superbowl.
Five little monkeys jumping on the bed...
One fell off and bumped his head, his momma called the doctor, and the doctor said, "I'm calling Child Protective Services."
Yo momma so heavy
She make memory foam forget!!!!!
What did Momma Cow say to her calf after sundown?
It's *pasture* bedtime!
Yo momma so s**...
when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
Your mommas so poor
I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"
Yo momma so fat...
Her Myers-Briggs type is PBNJ.
Yo momma is so big that...
I had to format my NTFS drive to a different file system to support her pictures
I see "Yo Momma" is coming back...
Unlike yo daddy.
White hair
One day, a girl walks to her mother and look at her mother's hair and sadly said: "Why are some of your hair white mom?"
The mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.
The girl thought about this revelation a while, and then said, "Momma, how come *all* of grandma's hairs are white?"
What's the difference between your momma and the Titanic?
We know how many people went down on the Titanic.
A little boy caught his mom riding his dad.
The little boy said, Mom what are you doing?
She said, Son, your daddy's stomach is too big so I sit on top to flatten it out.
He said, Aw momma you're wasting your time because when you're not here the lady next door gets on her knees and blows it back up!
Yo momma so FAT,
She has a 4GB file size limit.
Yo momma so fat
When she moves her phone from one pocket to another, it changes network!
Your Momma so fat.......
Her flesh eating disease got diabetes.
Your momma is so fat..
That she really needs to make an immediate lifestyle change. Heart disease is the number one killer in America. There is no better time than now to make a change before it's too late.
What's the difference between, anything serious, and 25 unwashed homeless Juggalo d**...?
Yo momma never takes anything serious.
Yo Mamma so ugly...
Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.
You're momma so ugly
That when bob the builder see her he says I can't fix that
Yo mama so ugly
Yo momma so ugly the whole world faked a virus and ruined the economy just to make her wear a mask
What did baby corn said to momma corn?
Where is popcorn?
My momma always said "Life is like a box of chocolates..."
"...it'll kill your dog."