Momma Jokes

Following is our collection of dad humor and grandmother one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Momma puns for adults, dirty mama jokes or clean pappa gags for kids.

There is an abundance of baby jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 64 funniest jokes on momma. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any poppa witze you can hear about momma.

The Best jokes about Momma

Where do little jokes come from?

Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.

What do you call a cow with 3 legs?

Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef.

What do you call a cow with two legs?

Yo momma.

Every "yo momma" joke has been done thousands of times, by thousands of different people.

Kinda like yo momma.

A little boy caught his mom riding his dad.

The little boy said, Mom what are you doing?

She said, Son, your daddy's stomach is too big so I sit on top to flatten it out.

He said, Aw momma you're wasting your time because when you're not here the lady next door gets on her knees and blows it back up!

Yo momma is so fat ...

She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.

Yo momma is so vegan and fat...

..that she ate a meal and got arrested for deforestation.

Yo momma, she so fat...

there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.

Your momma so slutty...

...her spirit animal is the swallow.

Yo momma so fat...

Yo momma so fat when she talks to herself its a long distance call.

The heaviest things in the universe

3 - Neutron stars

2 - Black holes

1 - The collective weight of the people who thought this was a yo momma joke

Yo momma so fat, when she wants to take a bath...

She fills up the tub and THEN turns on the water.

What did the momma cow say to her baby cows?

It's pasture bedtime

YO momma so nasty...

She pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.

Your momma so ugly

Governments across the world conspired to spread a pandemic to get her to wear a mask.

Your momma is so ugly....

Bill Cosby gave her coffee.

Seriously guys, every 'yo momma' joke has already been done thousands of times by thousands of people..

just like yo momma!

Your mommas so poor

I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"

Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing.

My grandpa would always tell me...

that when he was growing up, in rural Texas, his momma would give him $1 and send him down to the store. He'd come back with 2 loaves of bread, half a gallon of milk, a carton of eggs, and a pound of pork. He says you can't do that now-a-days, way too many security cameras.

Yo momma cooks so bad...

The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door.
>we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!

Your momma so fat

It's been four weeks since Thanos snapped his fingers and she's still disintegrating.

Yo Momma so fat (Avengers Edition)

Yo Momma so fat it took Thanos 2 Snaps to destroy her.

Yo momma so fat

Not even dolby could surround her

Yo momma so fat...

The dinosaurs went extinct when she forgot her parachute.

Yo momma so basic...

...she got a pH of 15.

Yo momma so ugly ..

Her portraits hang themselves

Yo momma is so unfamiliar with the gym...

...she calls it James

A Family of Moles

There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell sausage!" Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, "Mmmm, I smell pancakes!" Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn't because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, "The only thing I smell is molasses."

Yo momma is so big that...

I had to format my NTFS drive to a different file system to support her pictures

Yo momma so heavy

She make memory foam forget!!!!!

Your momma so dumb

she tried to climb Mountain Dew

Custody trial

Momma bear and papa bear are in court finalizing their divorce and custody of junior bear. The judge asks junior bear who he wants to live with?

J: "do you want to live with momma bear? "

JB: "no, she beats me."

J: "do you want to stay with papa bear?"

JB: "no, he beats me too."

J: "then who will you live with?"

JB: "I want to live with the Chicago Bears, they never beat anybody!"

Yo momma is so ugly...

I almost didn't have sex with her.

A guy goes to the bar on his 21st birthday.

He says to the bartender, "I just turned twenty-one; give me a shot of bourbon!"
The bartender says, "Congratulations!" and pours him the shot. A prostitute approaches the man and says "You've just turned twenty-one huh? Ever been laid, boy?"
The man replies, "No ma'am. My momma always told me those things have teeth." The prostitute laughs and leads him upstairs to her room. She pulls down her skirt and laughs, "You see any teeth down there boy?" He says, "No ma'am; and with gums like those I can see why!"

Nerdy Yo Momma Jokes

Post your best nerdy yo momma joke.

I'll start: Yo momma is so dumb, she thought a kernel panic was a KFC that was out of chicken.

Momma said life is like a box of chocolates...

If you're fat it's not gonna last as long :/

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates...

... if you're fat, it won't last long.

Yo momma is so fat, shes got more "coverage" than my cell phone provider

Yo momma so stupid

when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.

There's 3 bears..

Mama bear, papa bear and baby bear.
The parents get divorced and have to go to court to decide custody of the baby bear. The judge decides to let the baby decide:
"do you want to go with your momma baby?"
Baby replies : " no because she beats me!"
Judge: " How about with your papa?"
Baby:" No he beats me too!"
Judge :"then what do you want to do baby bear?"
Baby: "I want to go with the Chicago bears"
Judge:" why the Chicago bears?"
Baby "Because they don't beat anyone!"

I'm from Chicago, a homeless guy told me this one on my way home from work because I have a bears patch on my bag. Found it funny but it hurt!

Your Momma is like Communism

no class

I love telling your momma jokes

she has a terrific sense of humor and a beautiful laugh.

It's kinda corny...

What did baby corn say to momma corn?

"Where's pop corn?"

Your Momma so fat.......

Her flesh eating disease got diabetes.

A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole

A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country.One day, the papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, "Mmmmmm, I smell sausage!" The momma mole poked her head outside of the hole and said, "Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!" The baby mole tried to poke his head out of the hole but couldn't get passed the two bigger moles.Finally giving up, he said, "The only thing I can smell is molasses."

Your momma so ugly ...

Not even Ripley can believe it

10 little monkeys jumping on the bed...

10 little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and broke his head.

Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,

"No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"


6 little monkeys jumping on the bed,

One fell off and broke his head.

Momma called the doctor and the doctor said,

"I'm calling social services."

Yo Momma jokes aren't funny...

They're all old and have already been done by thousands of people. Just like yo momma.

"Look Momma, I'm a white boy."

A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a white boy." His Daddy slaps him on the face, too and says, "Boy, go show your grandmother." So the boy goes to see his grandma and says "Look Granny, I'm a white boy." She slaps him on the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says "Well, did you learn something from all this?" The boy shakes his head and says "I sure did, I've only been white for five minutes and I already hate you people".

Yo momma so fat

She has a hard time breathing and walking because of her obesity.

What's the difference between, anything serious, and 25 unwashed homeless Juggalo dicks?

Yo momma never takes anything serious.

Yo momma is so fat...

When the doctors told her she had flesh-eating bacteria they gave her 10 years to live

Yo momma so fat..

..she has a real horse on her Polo shirt.

Yo momma so fat

When she moves her phone from one pocket to another, it changes network!

My favorite "yo momma" joke from the 2000s

Yo momma so fat she takes up TWO Myspaces. And her top 8 are all sandwiches.

Best yo momma joke?

Your momma so ugly when she plays Mortal Kombat Scorpion says "stay over there"

Yo Mamma so ugly...

Yo momma so ugly that we created a global conspiracy "plandemic" and ruined the world economy and expedited the new world order and ruined Trump's rally and banned the Confederate flag from nascar and cancelled major league baseball just so she'd wear a mask.

Yo momma so fat,

...she can't even be emotionally carried away.

You're momma so ugly

That when bob the builder see her he says I can't fix that

Yo momma so dumb, when she eats vegetables

It's considered canabilism!

Yo momma so fat...

She is geographically bipolar.

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed...

One fell off and bumped his head, his momma called the doctor, and the doctor said, "I'm calling Child Protective Services."

Crossing the street

A momma duck and her baby are waiting to cross a street with a momma skunk and her baby.

The mother duck offers to walk out first, to make sure the street is safe to cross. Not half-way across, she is hit by a car,and dies.

"Oh no!" says the baby duck, "My mommy died! I don't know who I am anymore..."
The mother skunk looks at him and says "Well, you look like a duck, sound like a duck, and smell like a duck. So, you must be a duck!"

Then the mother skunk offers to walk out into the street to make sure it's safe. Just like the duck, she is killed about half-way across.

The baby skunk says "Oh no! My mommy died! I don't know who I am anymore..."

The baby duck looks at him and says "Well, you're not white, you're not black, and you smell kind of funny. So, you must be a Mexican."

Yo Momma so Old

Her social security number is 3.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes