Kinda like yo momma.
She took a jump in the pool, they found water on Mars.
Yes, we were trying to get rid of daddy's big belly. I jump on him so all the air would come out.
Aha, I know why it isn't working then – the woman from next door comes every afternoon when you go shopping and blows all the air back into him again.
"I have no idea, Someoneyourownsize"
there's people on the internet who believe she's flat, not round.
"Oh, how did you know it was fake?"
"It had two zeroes instead of one."
Her dildo needs viagra
Don't call me mommy just because I slept with your father!
So what am I supposed to call you?
Just call me Steve, like everybody else.
A curious child asked his mother: Mommy, why are some of your hairs turning grey?
The mother tried to use this occasion to teach her child: It is because of you, dear. Every bad action of yours will turn one of my hairs grey!
The child replied innocently: Now I know why grandmother has only grey hairs on her head.
...her spirit animal is the swallow.
Mommy mole sticks her head out and sniffs the air. She asks, "What's that smell? Is it brown sugar?"
Daddy mole sticks his head out to sniff around, "No I don't think so. Smells like vanilla to me."
The baby mole still in the burrow says "I don't know what you guys are talking about. All I can smell is molasses!"
Yo momma so fat when she talks to herself its a long distance call.
It's pasture bedtime
She fills up the tub and THEN turns on the water.
"Honey, when I think back to that night, you're lucky you don't bark."
She pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
Bill Cosby gave her coffee.
I saw her walking down the street with one shoe. I said "hey you lost a shoe". She said "na I found one"
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
The flys all chipped in and fixed the screen door.
>we're here all night, don't forget to tip your waiter!!
It's been four weeks since Thanos snapped his fingers and she's still disintegrating.
As they pass the elephant cage, the elephant has an erection.
"What's that, Mommy?" asks the child.
"Nothing, Johnny, nothing," says the embarrassed mother, swiftly leading him on.
A week later Johnny's dad takes him and the same happens. "What's that, Daddy?"
"That, son, is the elephant's penis."
"Mommy said it was nothing."
"Your mother's spoiled, Son!"
Yo Momma so fat it took Thanos 2 Snaps to destroy her.
"Its because he thinks a lot sweetheart"
The kid stared at his mom for a minute and asked
"is that why you have a lot of hair?"
"No, flush it like everyone else"
Not even dolby could surround her
As i walked into the jail cell the big burly man in the corner asked me, "Do you want to be the mommy or the daddy?"
I said, "I guess i'll be the daddy"
"Ok, now get over here and suck momma's dick."
"Shut up and keep digging."
The dinosaurs went extinct when she forgot her parachute.
Yo mommas so ugly that even her dildo has to take Viagra
...she got a pH of 15.
Her portraits hang themselves
her vibrator needs viagra
...she calls it James
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Momm? Well, here are the best Momm dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Momm pick up lines to share with friends.