Momentum Jokes

Following is our collection of funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include Momentum puns, dirty or clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best jokes about Momentum

I was writing a joke about a stone rolling up a hill, but it lost momentum.

It still has potential.

Why don't quantum physicists have sex?

When they find the position, they don't have the momentum. When they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

Momentum.

Why was the quantum physicist bad at sex?

Because he was able to find either the position or the momentum, but not both.

a penguin is driving through Texas when ...

... his car engine suddenly sputters and dies. close to a service station, he uses his momentum to roll up in front of the garage. he hops out and asks the mechanic to have a look. the mechanic obliges and says "give me 15 minutes". it being a hot day in Lubbock (naturally), the penguin gravitates to the baskin robbins across the street to get a vanilla ice cream. not having lips, the little guy enjoys his ice cream greatly but makes a bit of a mess, getting ice cream all over himself. after finishing, he walks back across the street to the service station. the mechanic says to him "looks like you blew a seal." the penguin replies, "oh no, that's just ice cream!"

What's does a photon and Donald Trump have in common?

Both full of energy and momentum, both lacking substance.

Why was Heisenberg's wife unhappy?

Because when he had the momentum, he didn't have the position.

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex ?

Because when they find the position, they can't find momentum;

And when they find momentum, they can't find the position.

I have a new theory on inertia

But it is not gaining any momentum.

Why was Heisenberg's wife so sexually unsatisfied?

When her husband had the position, he couldn't find the momentum.

When he had the energy, he couldn't find the time.

Why are theoretical physicists bad at sex?

Because when they find the right position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

I hear Heisenberg and his wife are having problems

When he has the time, he doesn't have the energy, and when he has the position, he can't get the momentum.

Heisenberg's wife was unhappy...

because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the position, he didn't have the momentum.

Credit to Greg and/or Terry from American Dad.

Ten Science Jokes for Nerds

* I'm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

* I have a new theory on inertia but it doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.

* Why can't atheists solve exponential equations? Because they don't believe in higher powers.

* Schrodinger's cat walks into a bar. And doesn't.

* Do you know the name Pavlov? It rings a bell.

* A group of protesters in front of a physics lab:

What do we want? .

Time travel

When do we want it? .

Irrelevant.

* What does a subatomic duck say? Quark!

* A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. Bartender replies For you, no charge .

* Two atoms are walking along. One of them says:

Oh, no, I think I lost an electron.

Are you sure?

Yes, I'm positive.

* An optimist sees a glass half full. A pessimist sees it half empty. An engineer sees it twice as large as it needs to be.

Beads of sweat were running down her cleavage. Her breathing was hot and heavy.

She moaned as she gained momentum by rocking her hips harder and harder, preparing for the final climactic effort she knew was coming soon. Then, in one final full-body thrust, it was all over, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction. It's always a struggle when the wife gets up off the sofa.

Why did Heisenberg have a miserable sex life?

Because when he found the correct position, he didn't have the momentum, and when he finally found the time, he didn't have the energy.

Why was Heisenburg such a bad lover?

When he got the momentum, he couldn't find the position, and when he found the position, he couldn't muster up the momentum.

Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?

When they find the position, they can't find the momentum. When they find the momentum, they can't find the position.

Why was the physicist being so careful not to insult his colleague's choice of generalized coordinates and momentum?

He was just minding his Ps and Qs.

Why did Princess Diana cross the road?

A: Conservation of momentum.

_____

*Also, give me your best dark jokes, I've been out of it a few years and I need to get some new material.*

Our country had a president called Mollman

He improved the country's standard of living and opened up trade, but after we his term was over,

Our country had no more momentum.

Aristotle has long been regarded for his philosophical mind.

But it's too bad his theory of inertia never really gained momentum.

In physics, why do you always learn about forces before learning about momentum?

You don't want to put Descartes before the horse.

Why did Paul Walker cross the road?

Momentum.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes