Mom Knock Knock Jokes
20 mom knock knock jokes and hilarious mom knock knock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mom knock knock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Mom Knock Knock Short Jokes
Short mom knock knock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mom knock knock humour may include short child knock knock jokes also.
- Knock Knock Knock knock.
Who's there?
Door mom.
Door mom who?
Door mom who, I've come to bargain! - (A joke my 3 y/o nephew came up with) Kiddo: knock knock
Mom: who's there?
Kid: Daddy. Because I locked the door. *laughs hysterically* - I remember once before a big school exam, I wanted to get a good night's rest, so I asked my Mom if I could borrow some of her sleeping pills. She said "Sure! Knock yourself out!"
- I'm afraid to tell my mom I accidentally knocked out some of my teeth and swallowed them... It's really chewing me up inside.
- YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
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Mom Knock Knock One Liners
Which mom knock knock one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mom knock knock? I can suggest the ones about baby knock knock and work knock knock.
- Knock knock Who's there?
Du wing.
Du wing who?
Du wing your mom
Playful Mom Knock Knock Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about mom knock knock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sleep knock knock jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mom knock knock pranks.
A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him.
He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying: "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says: "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive..."
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.
Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." Mom shushes him and gives him $10.
"Just don't tell Dad" she says.
*Hey, it's working* thinks Little Johnny.
An hour later, Dad comes home from work. Johnny goes up to him and says: "Dad, I know everything."
Dad gives Johnny $100. "Don't tell Mom" he says.
Just then, the mailman knocks on the door. Johnny opens it and says. "I know everything, Mister."
The mailman drops all his mail, his eyes tear up and he says:
"Well then Johnny, come give Daddy a hug."
A blonde walks up to her blonde mom...
and asks,
"Mom, why does everyone think we are s**...?"
Her mum chuckles and says
"Bring me a p**..."
A bit confused, the daughter goes and grabs a p**... from the kitchen and hands it to her mom. Soon after the mother starts knocking on the p**....
The daughter turns to the door and says,
"Mom! Someone is at the door!"
The mom chuckles and says,
"See, this is why people think Blondes are s**......
now hold this p**... so I can go answer the door."
*Edit* Changed gender of daughter back, sorry tumblr.
Jesus heard that...
there was going to be a stoning at the edge of town, so he headed that way.
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
The crowd goes silent.
Suddenly, a rock comes flying from the back of the crowd and BOOM, knocks out the offender.
Jesus waves his arm to part the crowd, revealing the thrower:
"Mom! I asked you not to come to these things!"
You can never win
So, the Jewish guy gets two ties from his mom for his birthday.
A couple of weeks later his mom comes for a visit, and he decides to wear one of his ties as a thank you gesture.
He opens the door when she knocks on the door, and the first thing his mom says:
"What's wrong with the other tie?"
Baseball, old one from my dad.
Little Stephen wanted to play baseball, so he went and rounded up his friends and his last stop was at Timmy's.
*knock on the door*
"oh hi Stephen, what brings you over? " ask Timmy's mom.
" Can Timmy come out and play baseball? "
" Now Stephen, you know Timmy doesn't have any arms or legs" says Timmy's mom.
"Oh I know, " says Stephen" we just want to use him for first base. "
My friends mom just died
And I asked him if I could tell him a joke to cheer him up. He said sure but I don't think it will help. Here is how it went.
Me: Knock Knock
Him: Really dude a knock knock joke? Ok, who's there?
Me: Not your mom.
A salesman was going door to door trying to sell his wares.
As he walked up to the next house, he noticed a boy sitting on the stoop. "Is your mother home?", he asked.
"Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him pass. The salesman rang the bell three times but got no response. He then knocked on the door loudly but got no answer. Exasperated, he turned to the little boy and said, "I thought you said your mom was home."
"She is," he answered. The salesman was confused. "Then why doesn't she answer the door? Is she deaf?"
"She can't hear it," replied the little boy. "I don't live here."
As told by my Russian wife
A man is at a bar. He sees a good looking woman, but she's a little older. Maybe in her 40s. He goes up to her and starts a conversation.
Halfway through she seems interested and asks an interesting question. She asks how he feels about a little mother-daughter action.
The man is intrigued. She is nice enough by herself, but her daughter must be amazing. He agrees and they go back to her place.
They enter the house and go upstairs. The lady knocks on a door and gently whispers:
"Mom, are you awake?"
The Mom app.
I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night.
Turns out, There's an app for that.
It's called "Mom, Are You OK?". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.
If you like her, you ignore it.
If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
It works every time.
So I knocked on the girl's door. Turns out I needn't have worried.
She was gorgeous!
I couldn't get over how attractive she was!!
Just as I was about to speak to her, her phone rang!!!
She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?" !!!!!!!!!!
A farmer in rural Iowa knocks on his neighbor's door....
A boy of about 9 answered the door, and the farmer asked, "Are your parents home?"
"No," said the young man, "Mom and Dad went to town."
"Well, what about your brother Billy? Is he home?"
"No, Billy went with Mom and Dad into town."
The farmer scowled and said, "I need to talk to someone about Billy getting my daughter pregnant!"
The boy replied, "You'll have to talk to Dad about that. He charges $500 for the bull and $75 for the pig, but I don't know what he charges for Billy."
An engineering student moved back into his parent's house after graduating
He spent a lot of his time hidden away in his room playing games and arguing with strangers on the internet. One day, he was having a particularly heated conversation on a forum about why Kilograms are a better unit of measurement than Pounds. Then his mother suddenly opened the door without knocking. Shocked, she let out a gasp and quickly turned away as he frantically closed all the tabs in his browser.
Maybe that seems like an overreaction. But what would you do if your mom walked in on you mass-debating?
Mom, are you okay?
A guy had a blind date last night. But he was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night.
Turns out, There's an app for that.
It's called "Mom Are You Ok". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.
If you like her, you ignore it.
If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
It works every time.
So he knocked on the girl's door. Turns out he needn't have worried.
She was gorgeous!
He couldn't get over how attractive she was.
Just as he was about to speak to her, her phone rang.
She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?"