Mom Knock Knock Jokes
19 mom knock knock jokes and hilarious mom knock knock puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mom knock knock that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mom Knock Knock Short Jokes
Short mom knock knock jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mom knock knock humour may include short child knock knock jokes also.
- Knock Knock Knock knock.
Who's there?
Door mom.
Door mom who?
Door mom who, I've come to bargain! - (A joke my 3 y/o nephew came up with) Kiddo: knock knock
Mom: who's there?
Kid: Daddy. Because I locked the door. *laughs hysterically* - I remember once before a big school exam, I wanted to get a good night's rest, so I asked my Mom if I could borrow some of her sleeping pills. She said "Sure! Knock yourself out!"
- I'm afraid to tell my mom I accidentally knocked out some of my teeth and swallowed them... It's really chewing me up inside.
- YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
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Playful Mom Knock Knock Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about mom knock knock you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sleep knock knock jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mom knock knock pranks.
Little Johnny was told by his friends that adults have a deep dark secret and can be easily manipulated.
Johnny decides to test it. He comes home, goes up to his mother and says, "Mom, I know everything." Mom shushes him and gives him $10.
"Just don't tell Dad" she says.
*Hey, it's working* thinks Little Johnny.
An hour later, Dad comes home from work. Johnny goes up to him and says: "Dad, I know everything."
Dad gives Johnny $100. "Don't tell Mom" he says.
Just then, the mailman knocks on the door. Johnny opens it and says. "I know everything, Mister."
The mailman drops all his mail, his eyes tear up and he says:
"Well then Johnny, come give Daddy a hug."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A blonde walks up to her blonde mom...
and asks,
"Mom, why does everyone think we are s**...?"
Her mum chuckles and says
"Bring me a p**..."
A bit confused, the daughter goes and grabs a p**... from the kitchen and hands it to her mom. Soon after the mother starts knocking on the p**....
The daughter turns to the door and says,
"Mom! Someone is at the door!"
The mom chuckles and says,
"See, this is why people think Blondes are s**......
now hold this p**... so I can go answer the door."
*Edit* Changed gender of daughter back, sorry tumblr.
Jesus heard that...
there was going to be a stoning at the edge of town, so he headed that way.
"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
The crowd goes silent.
Suddenly, a rock comes flying from the back of the crowd and BOOM, knocks out the offender.
Jesus waves his arm to part the crowd, revealing the thrower:
"Mom! I asked you not to come to these things!"
You can never win
So, the Jewish guy gets two ties from his mom for his birthday.
A couple of weeks later his mom comes for a visit, and he decides to wear one of his ties as a thank you gesture.
He opens the door when she knocks on the door, and the first thing his mom says:
"What's wrong with the other tie?"
Baseball, old one from my dad.
Little Stephen wanted to play baseball, so he went and rounded up his friends and his last stop was at Timmy's.
*knock on the door*
"oh hi Stephen, what brings you over? " ask Timmy's mom.
" Can Timmy come out and play baseball? "
" Now Stephen, you know Timmy doesn't have any arms or legs" says Timmy's mom.
"Oh I know, " says Stephen" we just want to use him for first base. "
My friends mom just died
And I asked him if I could tell him a joke to cheer him up. He said sure but I don't think it will help. Here is how it went.
Me: Knock Knock
Him: Really dude a knock knock joke? Ok, who's there?
Me: Not your mom.
A salesman was going door to door trying to sell his wares.
As he walked up to the next house, he noticed a boy sitting on the stoop. "Is your mother home?", he asked.
"Yeah, she's home," the boy said, scooting over to let him pass. The salesman rang the bell three times but got no response. He then knocked on the door loudly but got no answer. Exasperated, he turned to the little boy and said, "I thought you said your mom was home."
"She is," he answered. The salesman was confused. "Then why doesn't she answer the door? Is she deaf?"
"She can't hear it," replied the little boy. "I don't live here."
The Mom app.
I had a blind date last night. But I was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night.
Turns out, There's an app for that.
It's called "Mom, Are You OK?". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.
If you like her, you ignore it.
If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
It works every time.
So I knocked on the girl's door. Turns out I needn't have worried.
She was gorgeous!
I couldn't get over how attractive she was!!
Just as I was about to speak to her, her phone rang!!!
She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?" !!!!!!!!!!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A farmer in rural Iowa knocks on his neighbor's door....
A boy of about 9 answered the door, and the farmer asked, "Are your parents home?"
"No," said the young man, "Mom and Dad went to town."
"Well, what about your brother Billy? Is he home?"
"No, Billy went with Mom and Dad into town."
The farmer scowled and said, "I need to talk to someone about Billy getting my daughter pregnant!"
The boy replied, "You'll have to talk to Dad about that. He charges $500 for the bull and $75 for the pig, but I don't know what he charges for Billy."
An engineering student moved back into his parent's house after graduating
He spent a lot of his time hidden away in his room playing games and arguing with strangers on the internet. One day, he was having a particularly heated conversation on a forum about why Kilograms are a better unit of measurement than Pounds. Then his mother suddenly opened the door without knocking. Shocked, she let out a gasp and quickly turned away as he frantically closed all the tabs in his browser.
Maybe that seems like an overreaction. But what would you do if your mom walked in on you mass-debating?
Mom, are you okay?
A guy had a blind date last night. But he was concerned -- What do I do if she's really unattractive? I'll be stuck with her all night.
Turns out, There's an app for that.
It's called "Mom Are You Ok". It schedules your phone to ring just after you meet her.
If you like her, you ignore it.
If you want to cut short the date, you answer with, "Mom? What's the matter? Are you okay?"
It works every time.
So he knocked on the girl's door. Turns out he needn't have worried.
She was gorgeous!
He couldn't get over how attractive she was.
Just as he was about to speak to her, her phone rang.
She answered it and said, "Mom, what's the matter? Are you okay?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Little Johnny
One day, Little Johnny came home from school early and walked in on his parents having s**....
Little Johnny: "What are you two doing?"
Father: "I am playing *Poker* son"
Little Johnny: "What about mom?"
Father: "Don't worry about her, she is my *Wildcard*"
Little Johnny shrugged, put down is backpack and went to the bathroom. An hour passed by and his dad became concerned.
Father: *Knocks on the door* "Little Johnny! Are you okay?" *No response* "LITTLE JOHNNY! ARE YOU OKAY?"
Still no response, his dad knocks down the door to catch Little Johnny playing with himself.
Father: "What were you doing in here, Little Johnny?"
Little Johnny: "I was playing *Poker*, Dad."
Father: "Oh really? If you're playing *Poker, then where is your Wildcard*?"
Little Johnny: "*Dad, when you have a hand this good, you don't need no Wildcard*"
A farmer went to a neighbor's...
..., and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door
"Is your Dad home?"
"No sir, he isn't; he went to town."
"Well, is your Mother here?"
"No sir, she went to town with Dad."
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?"
"No sir, He went with Mom and Dad."
The rancher stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"Is there anything I can do for you? I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give dad a message."
"Well," said the rancher uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter, Suzie, pregnant."'
The boy thought for a moment. "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the hog, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."
Countryside Perspective
A farmer drove to a neighbor's farmhouse and knocked at the door.
A boy, about 9, opened the door.
"Is your dad or mom home?" said the farmer.
"No, they went to town," said the boy.
"How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?" asked the farmer.
"No, he went with Mom and Dad," the boy answered.
The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, and mumbling to himself.
"I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message," said the boy.
"Well," said the farmer uncomfortably, "I really wanted to talk to your Dad. It's about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant.".
The boy thought for a moment, then said, "You would have to talk to Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bull and $50 for the boar, but I don't know how much he charges for Howard."