mold Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious mold puns

If you have protected sex for 365 days straight, then melt the condoms down and mold a tire from them, what would you call it?

A Fucking GoodYear.


I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun

The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.


I have a fridge that beeps when it detects mold

Spoiler alert


What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.


I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun.

The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon


The other day my daughter said, "Mold is so gross."

I told her to "respect its culture."


Employer: Describe yourself in word. Me: "Mold"

Because you won't like me but I'll grow on you.


Hey, do you like analogies? I got plenty!

I got analogy to rabbits, analogy to grass, analogy to mold...


You know at first, I didn't like the mold I found on my skin.

But then it started to grow on me.


What did the prospector say the the zombie rappers?

"There's mold in them there grills"


What do you call a test tube filled with mold?

A vile vial


What do you call a retired comedian?

Comedy mold.


You know what they say about moldy tents....

That mold is intense.



A man at a store:

"Do you have Dorblu cheese"

"What is it Dorblu?"

"Oh, it's a kind of cheese with mold"

"Sorry, we haven't. But we have Dorblu bread and Dorblu sausage"


"You won't be able to stop me this time, Captain Food Saver,"

shouted The Moldy Bread at his arch nemesis, who was very tightly bound.

"Ah ha! But there's where you're wrong, Moldy! I brought along an old weapon that you've forgotten about..."

The Moldy Bread ignored the Captain, stating, "It's too late! I've already started up my Mold Machine! My lifelong purpose will finally be fulfilled when all of the world's bread is moldy! Muahahahaha!"

The great sci-fi-looking cannon started whirring and humming. At the last possible moment before the machine fired, Captain Food Saver burst through his bonds and threw a small and very thin sheet of metal in front of the cannon. The blast reflected off the surface of the metal, and back into the cannon, making it collapse in on itself into a rotten and damp pile.

Devastated, The Moldy Bread shouted, "Curse you Captain Food Saver! My plan was foiled again!"


I finally got my foot mold removed

It was difficult at first. It had really started to grow on me.


In the wake of Hurricane Florence, residents of North Carolina are returning home to deal with flood damage, mold, and apparently with the arrival of the President...

Tiny mushrooms.


When they made you they broke the mold,

then they took the mold maker outside and beat the shit out of him.


In the mold of a Jeff Foxworthy joke

You know you are a redneck when you think a reboot has something to do with new footwear.


Someone broke into my house last night and turned my humidity up all the way.

Thanks for the mold, kind stranger!


I must clean this damp and dark place.

I must break the mold.


What's a mole's favorite fungus?



Why do they call it black mold?

Because when you see some you should probably evacuate the area.

^please don't hurt me this is the first joke I came up with.


They laughed at me at the hardware store

All I did was ask for some strong white caulk, that would not cause mold and that would last a long time.


What do moldy corn flakes and Charles Manson have in common?

They're both cereal killers!



how do you call a negative cake ?

a mold


I only eat cheese with mold, drive a car without a roof and drink year-old beverages

Crisis times...


My friends keep telling me that they're off then leaving...

I'm not sure why though because I can't see any mold.


MFW I'm bread and I have to remind people to put the twist tie back on the packaging

Fuck I mold


What are the most funny Mold jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Mold? Well, here are the best Mold dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Mold pick up lines to share with friends.


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