Mold Jokes

What are some Mold jokes?

I bought a Jell-O mold in the shape of a handgun

The first time I used it the Jell-O came out and it looked perfect. Immediately the cops busted down my door and arrested me. I was charged with possession of a congealed weapon.

I have a fridge that beeps when it detects mold

Spoiler alert

What did Mike Tyson say when he saw mold?

That's growth.

The other day my daughter said, "Mold is so gross."

I told her to "respect its culture."

Employer: Describe yourself in word. Me: "Mold"

Because you won't like me but I'll grow on you.

Hey, do you like analogies? I got plenty!

I got analogy to rabbits, analogy to grass, analogy to mold...

You know at first, I didn't like the mold I found on my skin.

But then it started to grow on me.

Why did Aristotle believe men could mold themselves through their actions like clay?

His teacher was Plato.

What did the prospector say the the zombie rappers?

"There's mold in them there grills"

What do you call a test tube filled with mold?

A vile vial

Things you can say about your washing machine that you can't to say about your girlfriend

"She can fit four loads inside her."

"Sometimes she gets really noisy during the spin cycle."

"If I leave it inside her too long, it starts to smell funny. "

"Got her half off, she was a steal!"

"She always leaves my sheets soaked. "

"I've lost so many socks inside her over the years. "

"There was a lot of mold around the rim."

"I have to drain her every now and then. "

Thank you, I'll be here until I get distracted.

What do you call a retired comedian?

Comedy mold.

I made a custom mold by pouring silicone over a crucifix. 24 hours and one epoxy pour later...

and Christ is resin.

You know what they say about moldy tents....

That mold is intense.


A man at a store:

"Do you have Dorblu cheese"

"What is it Dorblu?"

"Oh, it's a kind of cheese with mold"

"Sorry, we haven't. But we have Dorblu bread and Dorblu sausage"

I finally got my foot mold removed

It was difficult at first. It had really started to grow on me.

In the wake of Hurricane Florence, residents of North Carolina are returning home to deal with flood damage, mold, and apparently with the arrival of the President...

Tiny mushrooms.

"You won't be able to stop me this time, Captain Food Saver,"

shouted The Moldy Bread at his arch nemesis, who was very tightly bound.

"Ah ha! But there's where you're wrong, Moldy! I brought along an old weapon that you've forgotten about..."

The Moldy Bread ignored the Captain, stating, "It's too late! I've already started up my Mold Machine! My lifelong purpose will finally be fulfilled when all of the world's bread is moldy! Muahahahaha!"

The great sci-fi-looking cannon started whirring and humming. At the last possible moment before the machine fired, Captain Food Saver burst through his bonds and threw a small and very thin sheet of metal in front of the cannon. The blast reflected off the surface of the metal, and back into the cannon, making it collapse in on itself into a rotten and damp pile.

Devastated, The Moldy Bread shouted, "Curse you Captain Food Saver! My plan was foiled again!"

I must clean this damp and dark place.

I must break the mold.

Someone broke into my house last night and turned my humidity up all the way.

Thanks for the mold, kind stranger!

In the mold of a Jeff Foxworthy joke

You know you are a redneck when you think a reboot has something to do with new footwear.

How to make Mold jokes?

We have collected gags and puns about Mold to have fun with. Do you want to stand out in a crowd with a good sense of humour joking about Mold? If Yes here are a lot more hilarious lines and funny Mold pick up lines to share with friends.

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