Mohel Jokes
29 mohel jokes and hilarious mohel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mohel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mohel Short Jokes
Short mohel jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mohel humour may include short mitzvah jokes also.
- Some say we should end the practice of male circumcision Personally I think they're making a mountain out of a mohel.
- The world's strongest man was asked to perform a circumcision. They turned The Mountain into a mohel.
- I heard about this Mohel who did a circumcision while drunk ... ... he got the sack. He had developed a drinking problem, just couldn't cut it any more.
- Why is being a mohel such a lucrative profession? You take 10% off the top and keep the tips.
- What did the mohel bring to the BBQ potluck? His homemade Bris-kit.
- How do you measure the speed of circumcisions? Mohels per hour
- When did Anakin Skywalker become a mohel? When he cut through the Force-kin.
- It's ok to leave a client with split ends if you're a hairdresser. But not if you're a mohel!
- The Mohel Did ya know that Mohels don't get paid?
They only take tips. - What is the going rate for a mohel at a bris? 20 bucks a head, plus tips.
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Mohel One Liners
Which mohel one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mohel? I can suggest the ones about tips and circumcision.
- Why does a Mohel(Jewish Circumciser) have to be good at his job? He only works on tips
- What is a fitting name for an arrogant mohel? Hugh Bris
- What was the Russian mohel's name? Borris Kutchyakockoff
- Why did the mohel lose his job at the hospital? He didn't make the cut.
- Have you heard about the world's fastest Mohel? They say he's a rip-off artist
- What does a mohel and a waiter have in common? They both make tips.
- Did you hear about the mohel with no knife? He was a ripoff.
- Question for Waitresses who have served a Mohel... ...Did they leave a tip?
- What did the mohel say at little Sigmund's bris? "Looks like I've made a Freudian snip!"
- As a mohel, I get big bucks... and little tips.
- Mohels don't get paid well..... But at least they get the tips!
- What profession gets the most tips? The Mohel (the guy who does the circumcision)
- Why are attractive male Jewish babies the best? They make mountains out of mohels.
- Why do waitresses hate mohels? Because they never leave a tip.
- What does a mohel do when he's in a rush? He cuts it short.
Witty Mohel Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about mohel you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sack jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mohel pranks.
A mohel collected all the foreskins in a jar, for the duration of his thirty year career.
Upon his retirement, he brought them to a local leather shop and requested a custom piece.
"What should I make?" asked the leathersmith.
"Surprise me," said the mohel.
A week later he returned to find the result. A wallet.
"There were hundreds of foreskins there, and all you can produce is a wallet?"
"Wait, the best part.. if you rub it, it turns into a briefcase."
Two Jewish men are standing in the bathroom and peeing in adjacent urinals
the one to the right finishes doing his business, turns around, and says to his neighbor, Tell me, did Mohel Rabinovich do your bris [i.e. circumcision]? Yes, the other guy responds, how did you know?!!! Well, Rabinovich is a little cross-eyed and you are peeing on my shoes!
A man is walking down the street
When he notices his watch has stopped. Seeing a shop window filled with watches and clocks, he goes inside
My watch has stopped, could you take a look at it? He asks the man behind the counter.
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't work on watches. You see, I'm a Mohel.
What's a Mohel?
Well, a Mohel is a rabbi who performs the bris, or circumcision of a newborn boy.
Well then why do you have all those watches in your shop window?
What SHOULD I put in the window?
There was a mohel who had the odd habit of keeping the foreskins in a box in a closet.
One day he noticed that they'd naturally tanned into very supple leather, so he took the boxful to a bag maker, to see if anything could be done with them. The craftsman told him to return in a month.
When he did, he was presented with a shaving kit.
"All of that leather, and this was all you could make of it?!"
"Well, it may be a shaving kit now, but if you rub it a bit, it becomes an overnight bag, and if you rub it a lot, it becomes a two-suiter."
A Jewish woman wants her son to have a bris but her Christian husband is against it
She goes against his wishes and has a secret bris.
The husband shows up unannounced and everyone in the synagogue is in shock.
The mother gasps, "How did you know?!"
The father replies "I could see it coming a mohel away."
A Man Asks a Mohel if he Makes a lot of money.
"Well, no..." The mohel says.
"Then how do you make a living?" the man asks.
The mohel answers,
"Well, I don't have a wage, but I always keep the tips!"
