Mohammed Jokes

64 mohammed jokes and hilarious mohammed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mohammed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the humorous jokes about the prophet Mohammed, his life and his legacy. From Fiji John Atta's lighthearted stories about visiting Mecca, to jokes about his mosque, this article takes a comedic look at the life of Mohammed.

Quick Jump To

Funniest Mohammed Short Jokes

Short mohammed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mohammed humour may include short mosque jokes also.

  1. If you buy a goat for $10 and named him Mohammed, then sell it for $15. Did you make a prophet?

  2. Kate Middleton has said if she has a boy she will call him by the most popular British boy's name at the moment.
    We look forward to the arrival of baby Mohammed.
  3. What did Jesus say to Mohammed...? What did Jesus say to Mohammed?
    'I died for you'
    What did Mohammed say in return?
    'How many did you take with you?'
  4. Christians have the first name Christian, Muslims Mohammed, Jews Isaac, what boys name do atheist have? Godfrey
  5. I made a ceramic sculpture of Mohammed Ali but it exploded in the kiln. It was gaseous clay
  6. I recently purchased a teddy bear for £10 And named it Mohammed, then sold it for £20.
    My question is.....have I made a Prophet?
  7. Did you know that you don't pay taxes on flatbreads if they have a picture of Mohammed on it? That's because naan-prophets are tax-exempt.
  8. I don't think Muslims go far enough in killing people who draw images of the prophet Mohammed. I think they should kill people who are named
    after him as well.
  9. ISIS math problem Ahmed has 5 bags. If he gives 2 to Mohamed and 1 to Jamal. Then calculate the radius of the blast.
  10. My friend, Mohammed has been praying in the wrong direction for many years. I don't know what to Mecca this.

Share These Mohammed Jokes With Friends

Mohammed One Liners

Which mohammed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mohammed? I can suggest the ones about mecca and prophet.

  1. Why did Ahmed Mohamed get delayed at the airport? he was on a watch list...
  2. What is Ahmed Mohamed's favorite band? Dethklok
  3. Jesus said, " my faith can move mountains" Mohammed said, "my faith can move skyscrapers"
  4. Whats Brown and Sticky? Mohammed Ali opening a can of coke.
  5. Why did Mohammed's wife leave? Because he couldn't bring home the bacon.
  6. What do you call Mohammed when he's drunk? Mohammered
  7. What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter? Mohammed Dali
  8. What's Mohammed, Moses and Noah's favourite dessert? Propheteroles
  9. What did Mohammed Ali do after converting to Islam? He-jab
  10. What do you call a drunk arab? Hammed
    What do you call a really drunk arab?
  11. Jesus said he could move mountains. Mohammed said he could move skyscrapers.
  12. Where did Mohammed take his wife of their trip to Hawaii? To The Aloha Snackbar
  13. If I drew a cartoon depicting Mohamed and Harambe dating It would be Haram-Bae
  14. Who never wants to be drawn at a raffle? Mohammed
  15. Mohamed and Mouloud are in a car, who's driving? The Police

Prophet Mohammed Jokes

Here is a list of funny prophet mohammed jokes and even better prophet mohammed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did the prophet Mohamed say when his wife asked for a divorce? "Those are pretty big words for a 6 year old!"
  • Thanks to me, Mohammed became Christian today. I, too, turned a prophet.
  • I once had to draw the prophet Mohammed in pictionary game night at the mosque was never the same

Mohammed Ali Jokes

Here is a list of funny mohammed ali jokes and even better mohammed ali puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • If Mohammed Ali could float like a butterfly and sting like a bee He would be dead after one punch.
  • Mohammed Ali's last tweet. @thegreatest: smh smh smh smh
  • Why was Mohamed Ali born a fighter? In the w**..., he used to fight bald clowns.
    (Self made joke)
Mohammed joke, Why was Mohamed Ali born a fighter?

Mohammed joke, Why was Mohamed Ali born a fighter?

Hilarious Mohammed Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter

What funny jokes about mohammed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sheikh jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mohammed pranks.

Moses, Jesus and Mohammed were selecting their followers...

Moses looks at all the women from whom to create his chosen people, picks out all of the smart ones and tells them to follow him. Jesus' turn comes, he looks at the remaining group, picks all of the most beautiful ones and tells them to follow him. Mohammed takes a look at the remaining group, sighs and says "cover yourself up"

Bob and Steve, two non-Muslim friends...

Bob and Steve, two non-Muslim friends who happen to be lost in a desert. After days of walking without any water or food, they noticed a Mosque. Bob said: "Yes, thank God! I will walk in saying that my name is
Mohamed, and you say that
your name is Ahmed, this way
we'll get some food! Deal?"
Steve said: "No, I'm sticking
with my name."
They walked into the Mosque
and the Sheikh saw them.
The Sheikh asked: "What are
your names?"
Bob said: "My name is
Steve said: "My name is Steve."
Sheikh said: "Guys, please bring
some food and water for Steve.
And you Mohamed, Ramadan

It was just discovered that islams prophet mohamed was a huge help.

A nomad happened upon mohamed and asked him what he was doing.
The architect of the Islamic faith turned red and said: *"I was just helping this goat through the fence!"*

What do you call a guy with a slice of ham on his head?

What do you call a guy with two slices of ham on his head?
What do you call a guy with two slices of ham on his head standing between two buildings?
Mohammed Ali.
(Hope I didn't offend anyone ;p)

Brought the Muslim version of Cluedo yesterday.

Turns out it was Mohammed on the bus with a s**... Vest

Jihadi math university question: Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes. He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan.

Calculate the area it will cover after the e**....

Pakistani math problem.

Ahmed has 3 lunch boxes.
He gives one to Mohammed and another to Hassan. Calculate the radius of the e**....

Three muslim women...

Three muslim women are sitting together talking. One pulls out a picture of her son to show the others. 'This is a picture of my son Abdul. He would have been 18 today'. Another pulls out a picture of her son. 'This is a picture of Mohammed. He would have been 20 today'. The third one says with a tear in her eye, 'Yes, they blow up so quickly these days...'

There is so much wrong in this world right now...

Just the other day, someone told me my friend Mohamed Lahouaiej Bouhlel died in a car c**....

I answer to God...

and Jesus, and Moses, and Mohammed, and pretty much anything else you call me.

ISIS Awards Night:

The 2016 best s**... bomber award goes to Mohammed.
Unfortunately Mohammed can't be with us tonight.

[credit to Mohammed Ali - r.i.p] Mohammed Ali walked on an Elevator...

He sees a guy and a pregnant woman in the elevator.
Ali looks at the guy and says "I swear I never saw her before in my life".
note: this really happened. Older family members who bumped into him in the late 70's to early 80's said he was really funny in real life.

Two atheists were lost in a desert.

Two atheists were lost in a desert. They had run out of supplies and were wandering aimlessly.
One morning, they encountered a Muslim. The Muslim asked, "What are your names?"
The first, figuring the Muslim would be more likely to help a fellow Muslim, lied and said, "My name is Mohammed."
The second stayed honest and said, "My name is Dave."
The Muslim gave Dave a hearty breakfast. He turned to "Mohammed" and said, "Fasting is so hard, isn't it?"

I had a dream last night...

In my dream I was watching a band play. Buddha was playing guitar, Jesus was playing bass, Mohammed was singing, and Zeus was playing the drums. After the show, Zeus came down and gave me a large metal disc. I think it was a cymbal from god.

The Duchess of Sussex has released her Grenfell Community Cookbook.

Recipes include the Mohammed flambé and the Stacy Brulée.

What do you call a man with ham on his head ?

What do you call a man with more ham on his head ?

Macron and Mohammed bin Salman meet for tea

Macron: "I collect jokes people post about me"
Bin Salman: "That's funny, I collect people who post jokes about me"

An arab man found the face of Mohammed in his margarine jar

He showed it to his Chinese neighbor who said " I can't believe it's not Buddha"

Mohammed joke, What do you call a drunk arab?

jokes about mohammed