Modern Family Jokes
7 modern family jokes and hilarious modern family puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about modern family that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Modern Family Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good modern family joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
An Amish family visits a mall...
...the mother strolls along an aisle and experience modern life. The dad and the son, however, encounters an elevator.
"What is that, father?", the son asked.
"I don't know either, my son", replied the father, "Let's see what they use it for".
They then see an ugly, fat woman trudge into the elevator. The door shuts, and after a few minutes, a pretty lady walks out alone.
The father then said: "Go get your mother".
Dance till you feel hurt. Sing till your lungs hurt. Act till you're William Hurt. - Phil Dunphy
From Phil's Osophies (Modern Family). I have to get that book.
Apparently they're making a Middle Eastern version of 'The Flintstones'...
And they're going to call it 'Modern Family.'
Dance until your feet hurt. Sing until your lungs hurt.
Act until you're William Hurt.
Modern family.
The White House is putting on a play adaptation of Modern Family.
When asked which character he wanted to be, Obama said "Uhhh...let me be Claire."
A senior citizen gives birth
Modern medicine has allowed women to give birth at an even older age than than they had been able to do so before.
Using this new in vitro technology, a 65 year old has a baby.
All her relatives come to visit and meet the newest member of their family.
When they ask to see the baby, the 65 year old mother says not yet.
A little later they ask to see the baby again.
Again the mother says not yet.
Finally they say, When can we see the baby?
And the mother says, When the baby cries.
And they ask, Why do we have to wait until the baby cries?
The new mother says, because I forgot where I put it.
A German joke
An old man was travelling by train from his hometown of Offenburg to visit family in Frankfurt am Main. It was quite a journey for him, since he never got around much.
At one time the conductor walks by yelling "HEIDELBERG, GET OFF!" The man thinks, "That's my name!" and gets off the train marvelling at the wonders of modern technology that allow the railway companies to remind passengers by name where they have to change.
While on the platform he hears "HEIDELBERG, COME IN!" and hastily boards the other train. He sits down and since he's in an unusually good mood, he begins to chat up another passenger. "Where are you going?," he asks. "To Regensburg," sounded the reply.
The old man slaps his knees, and says excitedly "What a time to be alive! I'm going to Frankfurt, you're going to Regensburg, and we're both on the one same train!"
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