Model Jokes
181 model jokes and hilarious model puns to laugh out loud. Read professions jokes about model that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article will provide humorous insight into the various models in our lives. From Instagram models and role models, to hand models and scale models, laugh out loud at how each type of model affects our daily lives. Discuss the differences between a car model at a Lexus dealership and a runway model at a fashion show, as well as what it takes to be a supermodel in today’s world. We will even explore the art of catalog modeling and the unusual career paths that some models take. Get ready to have a great time and learn more about the world of models.
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Funniest Model Short Jokes
Short model jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The model humour may include short simulation jokes also.
- I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model of a horse for my birthday next month. I've just found a big piece of it hidden in her bedside drawer.
- I told my mate I'd built a model of the Himalayas. He said "To scale?"
I said "No, just to look at" - What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla Model S? The tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year
- Not to brag, but I just got a job as a fitness model... They hired me as the "before" picture.
- I just recently finished building a model of Mt. Everest and a friend asked, "Is it to scale?" "No," I said.
"It's to look at." - Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don't pay for your services? Zuckerberg: 1010011010 .......Ahem
Zuckerberg: Senator, we run ads - Trump's ego is so big... Trump's ego is so big that when he bangs a super-model, he closes his eyes and imagines he's jerking off.
-Seth Macfarlane, CC Roast of Trump - impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it's a 3D model of a save icon.
- Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming... It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.
- Why did the summer solstice have a successful modeling career? It knew how to "shine" on the runway.
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Model One Liners
Which model one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with model? I can suggest the ones about pattern and scenario.
- I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine. It's a pretty good µ-boat.
- I'm 45 and have the body of a 25 year old model! She's in my basement, any suggestions?
- I don't care what anyone says about Neymar faking hurt he's still my roll model!
- I have the body of a 24 year old model But it takes up too much room in my fridge.
- Atheism has a rubbish business model It's non-prophet.
- What kind of car does The Fonz drive? A Model "Aaayyyyee"
- Why did the ChatGPT quit its job? It was tired of being a language model.
- my friend has a model fish collection they are all to scale
- Was recently hired as beauty product model... I was the "before" model.
- My sister wanted to be a model but she was too small. So she became a scale model.
- Did you hear about the mannequin given a key to the city? He was a model citizen.
- What do you call a wannabe model? A poser!
- I have the body of a 20 year old model... Unfortunately it won't fit in my freezer.
- I've always looked up to the Pillsbury doughboy. You could say he's my roll model.
- Why are dragon plushies soft and cuddly? They aren't scale models.
Car Model Jokes
Here is a list of funny car model jokes and even better car model puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I had to take my Model S in for service yesterday. I could hear loud roars coming from underneath the car. Tesla said it was normal and coming from the Li- Ion battery.
- Tha Apple car will be the first car that will slow down when they release a new model. They said this is a joke.. I'm not sure..
- How do car enthusiasts refer to their children? Same make, different model.
- Buying a new car and online dating are sort of the same thing... You're looking for the youngest model with the least amount of miles on it.
- What do you call a vampire whose car breaks down three miles from a blood bank? A cab
Cred: Spongebob, my role model - A snail bought a Tesla Model S The snail then took off driving at a high rate of speed. As he sped past a famous French restaurant, the chef exclaimed, "Wow, look at that S car go".
- I used to have a toy car with square wheels It was a terrible roll model
- What were Luke Skywalker's favourite model cars to play with as a kid? Toyodas
- Wives are a lot like cars.... Once you pay them off you turn them in for a new model.
- A 40 year old man goes to buy a car.... and all he can afford is a base model civic.
Tesla Model Jokes
Here is a list of funny tesla model jokes and even better tesla model puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Tesla Model 3 was named after The number of years it takes you to get one after ordering it.
- Elon Musk's Twitter is like a Tesla Model S It goes from 0 to 100 in 1.9 seconds.
- Elon Musk is coming out with a new Tesla model The Model Ex... it's going to be the most expensive Telsa to date.
- What was the scandal called when the Tesla model S was really 6 inches longer than advertised? Elon-gate
- These Tesla models look super good. Pretty S3XY if you ask me.
- What do my tesla model 3 and nonexistant girlfriend have in common? Neither of them ever came
- Yo mama so fat Tesla model X can't tow her.
- Elon Musk can deliver a Tesla into space but not to Model 3 customers Ba dum tssss
- I'm not going to a gas station again! My Tesla Model S is super good on gas!
- Whats the hottest car right now? Tesla model X
Role Model Jokes
Here is a list of funny role model jokes and even better role model puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Bigfoot is the best role model Even when no one believes in him, he probably still believes in himself.
- Why do tall people have no role models? Because they have no one to look up to.
- did you watch the obese fashion show? they had some pretty good role models
- Stephen Hawking is a terrible role model for our kids. He only looks one way when crossing the street
- Socrates is my role model I too, want to be executed for 'corrupting the youth'
- Why do parents love BB-8 so much? He is a great role model.
- Rosa Parks is a bad role model... she did not stand up for her rights
- What kind of fish is funny, beautiful and a good role model for young women? Tuna Fey.
- I once dated a 3 foot tall model who played a supporting role in Cat and the Hat She was a pretty little thing
- I never really had any role models growing up, so I put a mirror on my ceiling So now I wake up every day and look up to myself.
Hand Model Jokes
Here is a list of funny hand model jokes and even better hand model puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Seems my girlfriend's moonlighting as a parts model I overheard her on the phone to her friend, boasting about how much she was earning doing hand and foot jobs.
- I used to be a hand model... But I wasn't able to get enough hand jobs.
- I used to be a hand model But then I couldn't get enough hand jobs
\- Craig Ferguson - I work in digital advertising. I'm a hand model.
- Glove modeling is a very stable career path... ... you are sure to get a h**... every day.
Instagram Model Jokes
Here is a list of funny instagram model jokes and even better instagram model puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I heard an invisible man has started an Instagram account modelling formal wear. I might follow suit.
- My girlfriend, an Instagram model, asked me to go to the store. She said to get groceries and nothing else. Just food for thot.
- They say that going to school is important but becoming a instagram model is importanter!
- What do you call a sick Instagram model? An Influenza
- Whenever I see Instagram models working out, I am inspired to do my own workout. Unfortunately, it's only for my left arm.
- Why did the student hire an Instagram model to help with his math homework? Because it's the thot that counts
- Most of the Instagram models are contributing towards an eco-friendly earth. Because they can be recycled after dying.
- How many Instagram models does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, they hold the light bulb up and the world revolves around them.
Ridiculous Model Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about model you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean scheme jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make model pranks.
Picabo Street is a former World Cup alpine ski racer and model. When she was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004, her home town of Triumph, Idaho dedicated an entire wing of the local hospital to her.
It's called the Picabo ICU.
Twelve Italian priests...
...were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally n**..., in a garden while a s**..., beautiful, big breasted, n**... model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his manhood, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.
As he bent over to pick it up… all the other bells started to ring!
New headphones model about to hit stores.
Its called beats by Chris Brown.
The Engineer and the Red Rubber Ball
A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.
The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.
The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.
The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.
So I decided to be a n**... model for a local art class...
they didn't ask me to do it, and I am starting to get weird looks.
Had to quit my job as an underwear model
because the photographer kept telling me, "I'm just a cashier" and that I "need to leave Macy's."
I have the body of a 22 years old model!
WHERE SHOULD I HIDE IT? QUICK GUYS THE POLICE ARE AFTER ME
Great roll model
A kid all confused asked his dad: Dad, dad..What is closer the moon or London?
To what the dad responds all serious: Do you see London from here?
My CAD guy was having a rough day at work...
So I told him to just fillet the whole model. It really takes the edge off.
There are five frogs staring at me right now
but only one can be America's top model.
Things Men Shouldn't Say in a Victoria's Secret Store
1. No thanks... Just sniffing.
2. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.
3. Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.
4. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
5. Will you model this for me?
6. Oh, honey, I'll never fit into that.
7. $85? Are you kidding? She's just going to end up *n**...* anyway!
TIFU by spraying water on a t**... model
Now all the seats are wet
Would an unfulfilled beer ad bikini model...
be known as a sadder Budweiser girl?
My GF can't stand that I'm a model
Prisoner
I like my women as I like my pre-expansion universes
So hot and dense that it violates the Pauli exclusion principle and demands a better understanding of the standard model
Short gun story
A man walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered p**... and yelled, "I have a colt 45 model 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who is sleeping with my wife!"
A voice yelled from the back of the bar, "You're gonna need more ammo!"
Models
Why did the models keep tripping on the runway?
They were showing off the fall lineup. Badumtss
A model was walking down the runway...
She got hit by an airplane.
I once went to a modeling contest...
Not only did I get dead last, but I also received 508 get well soon cards.
I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model...
I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model of a horse for my birthday next month.
I've just found a big piece of it hidden in her bedside drawer.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
A PETA advertising model.
A guy walks into an eletronics store
Employee: *Hello Sir, how may I be of assistance*
Guy: *My dishwasher just died on me, I was wondering if I could get a similar one*
Employee: *Sure thing Sir, what was the make and model?*
Guy: *Fat, Brown Hair, Brown Eyed Virgo with an annoying mother*
I have the body of a 22-year-old model
He's in my freezer, and now I have no room for my ice cream.
Did you hear that Apple is coming out with YET ANOTHER new iPhone model?
Critics are calling it the iPhone Xs.
(
What's the difference between a man and a computer?
When a man finally goes down on you, you don't get rid of it for a newer model.
I applied to model for Calvin's
I hope they don't deKlein
Anything is possible.
People are surprised when I tell them I have a 4.0 GPA, work 2 jobs, while doing research, having 4 internships finished, being president of my student government, having a VS model as a girlfriend and having an amazing social life.
I mean, anything's possible when you lie.
A vacuum cleaner company removed their latest model from stores a week after launch,
All user reviews said that it s**....
How arrogant do you need to be to apply to be a model?
Pretty
If being a 23 year old Norwegian swimwear model has taught me anything
It's that catfishing is surprisingly easy online
What do you call midget on a catwalk?
Scale model
Do you know the definition of Dilemma?
Lying in a bed n**... between two people, on your left is a gay guy and on the right is a super model, which one do you turn your back to?
What's the model name of Tesla's new SUV?
Journalist: What's the model name of the upcoming SUV?
Elon Musk: 'Y'.
Journalist: Because I'm asking. Musk: And I'm telling you.
Journalist: So if you're telling me, what did you say it's called?
Musk: 'Y'
Journalist: Why?
Musk: Exactly.
Journalist: So it's the model 'Exactly'?
Musk: No, 'Y'.
Journalist: 'know why' what!?
Musk: Not 'what', just 'Y.'
Journalist: *I don't know!*
Musk: No… that's the timeframe for delivery.
My wife told me I was a "model husband"
I said "thank you sweetheart"
Then she showed me her definition of model.
"A small imitation of the real thing"
Did you hear about the model who thought she was going to a beauty pageant? Turns out it was a kidnapping.
She was Miss Taken
Soon enough, Apple will make the brilliant move of following a big trend in the gaming industry...
..."remastering" the ORIGINAL iPhone rather than releasing a new model.
Boss calls in his top 4 employees.
Boss:
Been doing some evaluations. And I am very upset at the results. James, you appear to be buying c**... from some K-Fish. Peterson, you appear to be taking m**... from this same K-Fish. I'm mostly disappointed at you, Jessie, for purchasing pills from this K-Fish person as well.
This is why I'm promoting Kevin Fishouse, for being a great role model for the company.
Why was the fetishist chasing the shoe model?
Because he was hot on her heels.
Started seeing this amazing girl in a wheelchair.
She was my roll model but I found out she actually looked up to me!
I confused a tube of super glue with a tube of l**...
It was horrible. My model airplane kept slipping apart.
A granpda asks his just graduated grandchild
Grandpa: So what will you do for a living now that you earned your bachelor's degree?
Grandchild: I'm a model during the week, I'm a DJ in the weekends and an influencer by contract
Grandpa: I remember when I just graduated I was also unemployed son, be patient
I bought a life size 3d model of plankton from spongebob.
4days later I got an empty box full of bubble wrap. I still don't know where plankton is.
The problem with dating a model...
... is that she's only 5 inches tall and I have to paint her myself.
I have a perfect dad bod.
I'm a roll model.
Arrested at the airport
I'm a car salesman going to New York for the unveiling of the new Porsche 911 model
When i landed in New York the TSA asked me are you here for business or pleasure
I responded I'm here for the new 911
A man goes to a tool store to buy a chainsaw. The server sells him the top-of-the-line model, saying that it will cut through over 100 trees in one day.
The man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees but after working for hours he only cuts down two trees.
How can I cut for hours and hours and only finish two trees? he asks himself.
Next day the man brings the chainsaw back to the store and says it doesn't work properly.
Hmm, it looks okay, says the server, and starts the chainsaw.
The man jumps back in shock and cries, What's that noise?
My girlfriend has the body of a model..
And a life prison sentence.
Bakeries often ask me to pose for promotional photos with their products.
Apparently I'm an excellent roll model.
All this talk recently about following the Swedish model
I tried following a Swedish model one time. Apparently, Sweden has restraining orders, too...
I've started my own buisness building model yachts in my attic during lockdown.
Sales are going through the roof.
(I'll take my things and leave now..)
Little Johnny
Little Johnny catches his parents going at it.
He says, "Hey, Dad! What are you doing?"
His father says, "I'm filling your mother's tank."
Johnny says, "Oh, yeah? Well, you should get a model that gets better mileage. The milkman filled her this morning."
I went to Home Depot and a guy walked up and asked,
"Can I help you with anything?" I said, "I'm looking to buy a table saw." He said "Do you have a particular model in mind?" and I said, "Well yeah, Kathy Ireland, but for now let's talk about a table saw."