The Best 76 Model Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Model jokes. There are some model deklein jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these model male model puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Model Jokes and Puns

Picabo Street is a former World Cup alpine ski racer and model. When she was inducted into the National Ski Hall of Fame in 2004, her home town of Triumph, Idaho dedicated an entire wing of the local hospital to her.

It's called the Picabo ICU.

What do you call a wannabe model?

A poser!

Twelve Italian priests...

...were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them. Each priest had a small bell attached to his manhood, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity. The beautiful model danced before the first candidate with no reaction. She proceeded down the line with the same response from all the priests until she got to the final priest, Carlos. Poor Carlos. As she danced, his bell began to ring so loudly that it flew off, clattering across the ground and laid to rest in nearby foliage. Embarrassed, Carlos quickly scrambled to where the bell came to rest.

As he bent over to pick it upโ€ฆ all the other bells started to ring!

impress your children by showing them a floppy disk and telling them it's a 3D model of a save icon.

jokes about model

The Engineer and the Red Rubber Ball

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.

The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.

The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.

The engineer looked up the model and serial numbers in his red-rubber-ball table.


Had to quit my job as an underwear model

because the photographer kept telling me, "I'm just a cashier" and that I "need to leave Macy's."

I have the body of a 22 years old model!

WHERE SHOULD I HIDE IT? QUICK GUYS THE POLICE ARE AFTER ME

Model joke, I have the body of a 22 years old model!

I have the body of a 20 year old model...

Unfortunately it won't fit in my freezer.

Not to brag, but I just got a job as a fitness model...

They hired me as the "before" picture.

There are five frogs staring at me right now

but only one can be America's top model.

Things Men Shouldn't Say in a Victoria's Secret Store

1. No thanks... Just sniffing.

2. I'll be in the dressing room going blind.

3. Oh the size won't matter. She's inflatable.

4. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.

5. Will you model this for me?

6. Oh, honey, I'll never fit into that.

7. $85? Are you kidding? She's just going to end up *naked* anyway!

You can explore model supermodel reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean model exemplary dad jokes. There are also model puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


TIFU by spraying water on a topless model

Now all the seats are wet

I like my women as I like my pre-expansion universes

So hot and dense that it violates the Pauli exclusion principle and demands a better understanding of the standard model

Short gun story

A man walked into a crowded bar waving his unholstered pistol and yelled, "I have a colt 45 model 1911 with a seven round magazine plus one in the chamber and I want to know who is sleeping with my wife!"

A voice yelled from the back of the bar, "You're gonna need more ammo!"

Trump has left the historical Paris Climate Accord in which countries around the world agreed to fight global warming...

It was the first time he pulled out of a working model.

I used to be a hand model...

But I wasn't able to get enough hand jobs.

Model joke, I used to be a hand model...

I'm 45 and have the body of a 25 year old model!

She's in my basement, any suggestions?

my friend has a model fish collection

they are all to scale

I have the body of a 22-year-old model

He's in my freezer, and now I have no room for my ice cream.


Did you hear that Apple is coming out with YET ANOTHER new iPhone model?

Critics are calling it the iPhone Xs.

(

A vacuum cleaner company removed their latest model from stores a week after launch,

All user reviews said that it sucked.

I've always looked up to the Pillsbury doughboy.

You could say he's my roll model.

Mr. Zuckerberg how do you sustain a business model in which users don't pay for your services?

Zuckerberg: 1010011010 .......Ahem

Zuckerberg: Senator, we run ads

What do you call midget on a catwalk?

Scale model

The Tesla Model 3 was named after

The number of years it takes you to get one after ordering it.

Do you know the definition of Dilemma?

Lying in a bed naked between two people, on your left is a gay guy and on the right is a super model, which one do you turn your back to?

Model joke, Do you know the definition of Dilemma?

What's the model name of Tesla's new SUV?

Journalist: What's the model name of the upcoming SUV?

Elon Musk: 'Y'.

Journalist: Because I'm asking. Musk: And I'm telling you.

Journalist: So if you're telling me, what did you say it's called?

Musk: 'Y'

Journalist: Why?

Musk: Exactly.

Journalist: So it's the model 'Exactly'?

Musk: No, 'Y'.

Journalist: 'know why' what!?

Musk: Not 'what', just 'Y.'

Journalist: *I don't know!*

Musk: Noโ€ฆ that's the timeframe for delivery.

Did you hear about the model who thought she was going to a beauty pageant? Turns out it was a kidnapping.

She was Miss Taken

Soon enough, Apple will make the brilliant move of following a big trend in the gaming industry...

..."remastering" the ORIGINAL iPhone rather than releasing a new model.


What's the difference between Chris Brown and a Tesla Model S?

The Tesla gets fewer battery charges in a year

I don't care what anyone says about Neymar faking hurt

he's still my roll model!

Started seeing this amazing girl in a wheelchair.

She was my roll model but I found out she actually looked up to me!

I confused a tube of super glue with a tube of lube

It was horrible. My model airplane kept slipping apart.

A granpda asks his just graduated grandchild

Grandpa: So what will you do for a living now that you earned your bachelor's degree?

Grandchild: I'm a model during the week, I'm a DJ in the weekends and an influencer by contract

Grandpa: I remember when I just graduated I was also unemployed son, be patient


I built a 1:1000000 model of a German submarine.

It's a pretty good ยต-boat.

I have a perfect dad bod.

I'm a roll model.

Arrested at the airport

I'm a car salesman going to New York for the unveiling of the new Porsche 911 model

When i landed in New York the TSA asked me are you here for business or pleasure
I responded I'm here for the new 911

My sister wanted to be a model but she was too small.

So she became a scale model.

A man goes to a tool store to buy a chainsaw. The server sells him the top-of-the-line model, saying that it will cut through over 100 trees in one day.

The man takes the chainsaw home and begins working on the trees but after working for hours he only cuts down two trees.

How can I cut for hours and hours and only finish two trees? he asks himself.

Next day the man brings the chainsaw back to the store and says it doesn't work properly.

Hmm, it looks okay, says the server, and starts the chainsaw.

The man jumps back in shock and cries, What's that noise?

What do you call a sick Instagram model?

An Influenza

Did you hear about the mannequin given a key to the city?

He was a model citizen.

I have the body of a 24 year old model

But it takes up too much room in my fridge.

I've started my own buisness building model yachts in my attic during lockdown.

Sales are going through the roof.

(I'll take my things and leave now..)

I went to Home Depot and a guy walked up and asked,

"Can I help you with anything?" I said, "I'm looking to buy a table saw." He said "Do you have a particular model in mind?" and I said, "Well yeah, Kathy Ireland, but for now let's talk about a table saw."

Was recently hired as beauty product model...

I was the "before" model.

An old man goes to confession.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I'm 80 years old and have been happily married to the love of my life for 60 years, but last night i cheated on her. With twins. 21 year old bikini model twins."

The priest asks how long it's been since his last confession.

"I've never been to confession. I'm Jewish."

"Then why are you telling me this?" the priest asks.

The old man replies, "I'm telling EVERYBODY!"

A couple of Italian guys are discussing who, if they could choose any woman in the world, they'd rather bang

One of them says some big name actress, the other says "Virginia Pippilini."

The first guy's like, "Who's that? Is she a model?"

"I don't know"

"Actress?"

"I don't know."

"Singer?"

"I don't know."

"Well if you don't know, why choose her?"

The guy pulls out a newspaper and points to the headline. "Virginia Pipeline blows 50 men dead."

At our tattoo studio, women can flash their boobs to get a discount

The business model we operate on is "tit for tat".

My sister said she wanted to be a model

I told her that it would take 20 minutes in photoshop minimum

My girlfriend, an Instagram model, asked me to go to the store. She said to get groceries and nothing else.

Just food for thot.

A man realized he needed to pu...

A man realized he needed to purchase a hearing aid, but didn't want to spend a lot of money. "How much do they cost?" he asked the salesman.
"Anything from $2 to $2,000."
"Can I see the $2 model?" said the customer.
The salesman put the device around the man's neck, and said: "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down into your pocket."
"How does it work?" asked the customer.
"For $2, it doesn't work," said the salesman. "But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder."

People keep telling me it's weird to look up to the Pillsbury Doughboy...

But I think he's a great roll model.

I just recently finished building a model of Mt. Everest and a friend asked, "Is it to scale?"

"No," I said.
"It's to look at."

My wife of 25 years laughed when I said I still had the body of a sexy model.

Until she checked the deep freeze in the garage.

An Artist asks his model if she's okay with nudity

Model- Yes I am
Artist- Thank God! These pants were killing me!

They say that going to school is important

but becoming a instagram model is importanter!

Tha Apple car will be the first car that will slow down when they release a new model.

They said this is a joke.. I'm not sure..

There was a fire at my local model village today

Eye witness reports claim that flames could be seen from up to 3 feet away

Seems my girlfriend's moonlighting as a parts model

I overheard her on the phone to her friend, boasting about how much she was earning doing hand and foot jobs.

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer are tasked with finding the volume of a rubber ball

The mathematician takes the ball, measures its diameter, then calculates the volume.

The physicist submerges the ball in water and measures the amount of water displaced.

The engineer twists and turns the ball, looking for the model number.

An old Businessman and his young Model ex-wife

were fighting over the custody of their 3-year-old son.
The young mother protested that since she brought the kid into this world,
she had a natural right to the custody of him.
The judge asked the businessman to explain his side of the case.
After a long moment of silence, the old businessman rose from his chair and said,
"Judge, when I put money into a Vending Machine and a Snickers Bar comes out,
does it belong to me or the machine?"

Reasons the idiot couldn't kill himself.

He couldn't find the tailpipe on his Tesla.

He jumped in front of a model train.

The bullets wouldn't fit in the squirt gun.

He overdosed on placebo pills.

He jumped off a low bridge.

He stuck a plastic fork in an outlet.

He doused himself in diesel and tried to light it.

He leaped into an animal cage at the petting zoo.

Atheism has a rubbish business model

It's non-prophet.

In 1974, Volkswagen introduced the Golf to Europe as a small car with a trunk large enough to stuff your golf clubsโ€ฆ

American companies would follow the success of this model, with Ford soon releasing the Escort in 1980.

*still working on this one

I think Model Trains cast an unrealistic beauty standard on actual trains...

But model trains never eat and real trains are always CHEW CHEW CHEW-ing

Did you hear about Walmart's new business model?

Walmart bought the rights to Toys-R-Us and is merging with it. They are changing the mascot from a giraffe to a sea mammal, though.

They're gonna call it, Wal-R-Us.

How do car enthusiasts refer to their children?

Same make, different model.

I had to take my Model S in for service yesterday. I could hear loud roars coming from underneath the car.

Tesla said it was normal and coming from the Li- Ion battery.

I just read a book about how Henry Ford created the Ford Model T.

It was a really interesting auto-biography.

I told my mate I'd built a model of the Himalayas.

He said "To scale?"

I said "No, just to look at"

As Steven Weinberg was finishing the presentation of his contributions to the Standard Model, a colleague asks:

"This work is incredible. Do you understand the gravity of what you've done?"

Weinberg: "No, weren't you listening? That's the only force we don't understand."

(I'm sorry for this terrible and obscure joke, feel free to downvote.)

Bigfoot is the best role model

Even when no one believes in him, he probably still believes in himself.

My clothing store is using a life sized Darth Vader figurine to model their clothing line

I, for one, really enjoy mannequin skywalker

I think the wife's got me a build-it-yourself scale model of a horse for my birthday next month.

I've just found a big piece of it hidden in her bedside drawer.

Which company should hire Amber Heard as their next model ?

Pampers


Ps Original composed by me if anyone cares

I saw a long stick of bread posing for a photo.....

... apparently it was a roll- model.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the model sellers jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working model mannequin piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes