Mob Boss Jokes
29 mob boss jokes and hilarious mob boss puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mob boss that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mob Boss Short Jokes
Short mob boss jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mob boss humour may include short mafia bosses jokes also.
- A lawyer, a spy, a money launderer, and a mob boss walk into a bar. The bar tender looks up and says, "you must be here to talk about adoption".
- Mob bosses who date both men and women are tollerated in the Mafia... ... they let bi-Dons be bi-Dons.
- A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss and two Russian oligarchs walk into a bar. The bartender says... "You guys must be here to talk about adoption."
- A mob boss and a mountain climber are sitting in a bar. The mob boss says "It's lonely at the top."
The mountain climber says "Of course it is; if you stay there too long you die." - A Mexican mob boss dies of laughter when a former Russian mercenary comes in to be recruited. What did he say to him? They call me Sergei, and I am yours comrade.
- Did You hear about the Italian mob boss who had a famous Broadway star assassinated in an e**...? He told his hit man to rigatoni.
- me: What should I do about the cop? Mob boss: Take care of him...
Me: Say no more
\[50 years later - my f**...\]
Cop: \[crying\] ...he... he was the light of my life
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Mob Boss One Liners
Which mob boss one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mob boss? I can suggest the ones about manager boss and boss employee.
- I slept like a rock At the bottom of the ocean with a mob boss attached to it
- How do mob boss mules open doors? With Don-keys.
- Why did the mob boss write an abusive text? To send a message.
- A serial killer, a mob boss and a priest walk into a bar It was very bizzare
- What does a mob boss do when he wants to win an award for his play? Rigatoni
- What do you get when you cross a mob boss... shot.
- What do you call a mob boss with an e**...? Hard Don
Mob Boss Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about mob boss you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean boss jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mob boss pranks.
A man joins the mob and becomes the personal assistant to the Godfather
One day he receives a text message from the boss. "I've been having problems with my wife. Please pull the plug and then call someone in to take care of the matter."
The man knows better than to question the Godfather, so he dutifully carries out the command. He shoots the boss's wife, and then calls in the clean up crew.
But a short while later, he receives another message. "s**... autocorrect. I meant wifi."
Joe is hiring a hitman from a well respected mafioso to kill his business partner.
The man asks, "How do I know you won't just let him pay you twice as much, and then kill me?"
The mob boss leans back and says, "Well Joe, you can always get the insurance policy."
"Insurance policy?"
"Yeah. For five times the fee I absolutely guarantee that the other guy can no longer afford to."
The mob boss sends two of his men to kill a gangster...
They park outside his house half an hour before his expected return, check their guns, and wait. Half an hour later, the gangster's not there. They keep waiting in silence, an hour passes - and he's not there. Time passes, and the target is still not home. Finally, one of the hitmen looks at the watch and says:
"We've been here for three hours, and he still ain't showed up."
"Jeez," the other hitman says, "I hope nothing happened to him."
Did you hear that a mob boss was killed...
Did you hear that a mob boss was killed in a rice field by assailants wielding small figurines?
Police are saying it's the first recorded instance of a knick knack patty whack.
Little Tony was the son of a well respected Mob boss.
One day, the Mob boss decides he wants to test his son to see if the boy has what it takes to lead the family business. "Little Tony," he asks. "If you received stolen money, and you were looking for a place to hide it, where would you stash it so the cops could never get it?"
Little Tony thinks for a moment, then says, "I'd put it in a casino."
Delighted, the Mob Boss exclaims, "Magnificent answer! How did you know to launder your money through the casino?"
"Well," Little Tony says, "At school, we just learned the U.S. Constitution protects us from police conducting unreasonable searches in Caesar's.
It's a Mob boss' 80th birthday
Three henchmen gathered around to see what they should do for his 80th. One of the henchmen says
The boss is old, he hasn't seen many women.
Another henchman says
We should get him something super
The third henchman says
Maybe a stripper?
All of the henchmen say at once
A super-stripper! Great idea!
They all go to a exclusive club and they sit the boss down, the henchmen pitch their idea,
Hey boss, considering we are at a club and it's your 80th birthday, we got you a super-stripper!
The boss, who is hard of hearing, replies
A what?
The henchmen all yell
A SUPER-STRIPPER
The boss says back to all three henchmen,
I'll take the soup
Can you explain this strange adoption joke?
A close friend of mine who is my eldest daughter's godmother just posted a very strange joke that references adoption. There must be something to this joke that I am completely missing. Thirty people have gone wild over this and I don't get it. My friend can't possibly be saying something offensive about adoption. My three children are adopted and they are grown up, healthy, happy, and thriving. What is the point here?
@AAPsyc hysterical!
A lawyer, a spy, a mob boss, and a money launder walk into a bar. The bartender says: "you guys must be here to talk about adoption."
TIA
Artemis the Strangler
A few years ago, there was a hitman named Artemis who was known and sought after for his uncanny ability to strangle people. One day, he got an assignment from the local mob to take out a man who owed huge amounts of money and was refusing to pay it back. Artemis took the job, but the man turned out to be almost impossible to find. The target would seemingly vanish whenever Artemis was in the vicinity and tracking him was practically impossible.
However, one day Artemis got a call from his boss. The man had been spotted at a local Kroger and, since nobody knew when he would appear again, Artemis was to strangle the man in the store. Artemis was reluctant at first, but he was getting very tired of the long project and agreed to track the man inside.
Luckily, Artemis was able to corner the man in the produce aisle and strangle him. Unluckily, just as he was laying the man's body down, a woman came around the corner. Artemis panicked and in his desperation strangled the woman, only to see a poor store clerk out of the corner of his eye. Artemis strangled this man too. Finally, a manager came around the corner and also met his end.
All of this became too much for Artemis to cover up and he was arrested outside of the store. The next day, the local paper ran the headline:
ARTY CHOKES FOUR FOR A DOLLAR AT KROGERS