Moaned Jokes
27 moaned jokes and hilarious moaned puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about moaned that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Moaned Short Jokes
Short moaned jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The moaned humour may include short moaning jokes also.
- My wife phoned me, panting and breathless. "Where are you?" she moaned.
"I'm at the pub." I replied.
She said, "I think the baby's coming!"
I said, "Well, he won't get in. He's underage." - My sister is moaning and screaming in her bedroom because she is sick. I'm happy that her boyfriend is there to comfort her.
- The baby Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this…
Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault. - Having a cat is just like having a girlfriend ... They both
* wail and moan when you neglect to feed them
* bite and scratch when you try to pet them
* keep escaping from the basement - My mum keeps moaning about the cost of things these days. £2.50 for a sandwich, £1.50 for coffee, £12.50 for a Sunday lunch.... So I say to her, look Mum, my house, my prices!
- why will you never hear a vegan moan in bed ? she'll never admit she's enjoying a piece of meat...
- I was playing a board game with my friends when I noticed some important pieces of the game were missing. I asked my friend, " Are you the game owner?"
He said, "I moan but I'm straight" - I put my ear to the bedroom door and heard my wife moaning and a male grunting. I never knew she was a ventriloquist.
- Pandas have finally started breeding together in captivity According to staffers, the place just suddenly erupted into panda-moan-ium
- I've been a father for three years and it's been a wonderful experience. I've learnt all about responsibility. But my son just keeps moaning "it's too late now" and "I'm 26 years old".
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Moaned One Liners
Which moaned one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with moaned? I can suggest the ones about moaner and screamed.
- Why did helen keller mastutbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other.
- How does a mummy attract a mate? Pharaoh moans.
- What does a vegan zombie moan? graaaiins...
- It can't be much fun being gay. Your friends are always moaning behind your back.
- When the moon moans..... You know the sun has gone down.
- Whats tiny and makes priests moan? Church attendance levels.
- Two paleontologists where moaning in a ditch One found a bone
- Why are sounds made by Egyptian mummies such a turn-on? They're pharaoh-moans.
- Why does your mummy turn me on so much? Pharaoh moans.
- Okay lets do this. *Cracks knuckles* Knuckles:* Moans *
- How did ancient Egyptian monarchs attract potential mates? By using their "pharoah-moans"
- Why did the miner moan when he struck gold? He was having an ore-gasm.
- Why do cats like Pharaohs? Because Pharaoh moans.
- What form of government do zombies have? A moan-archy.
- How did Egyptian kings communicate with their wives? They used their Pharaoh-moans.
Hilarious Fun Moaned Jokes to Bring Joy & Laughter with Friends
What funny jokes about moaned you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean groan jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make moaned pranks.
The first time I had s**..., it was in my parent's bedroom. My girlfriend giggled nervously and moaned, This is a bit awkward.
I grunted, Just ignore them.
Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
A Card
Man, am I scared! confided p**... to Seamus, looking furtively around the pub. I just got a card from a guy saying that he would shoot me if I did not stay away from his wife.
Well, stay away from his wife, advised Seamus, and you have got no problem.
How can I? moaned p**..., he did not sign his name.
A man was having s**... with his wife one night...
"Deeper... deeper..." she moaned.
The man, not having finished, pulls out and starts getting dressed. The woman is surprised and asks "What's wrong baby?"
The man snaps back, "Deeper, deeper?! How about I coo in your ear tighter, tighter!
It was terrible, moaned John upon entering the classroom a half hour late.
I left with plenty of time to arrive at school on time, but it was so slippery that every step I took, I slipped two steps back.
Well, said the teacher, with a suspicious look on his face, how in the world did you get here at all?
Well, replied the student, finally after twenty minutes I gave up and started heading home!
Recently, my husband put his car in reverse and accidentally drove it into a wall...
He took it to his mechanic, who replaced the dented bumper.
A few days later, he did it again. "I'm so embarrassed," he moaned, reaching for the phone.
"Why not tell her it was me this time?" I suggested.
"Maybe I will," he said while dialing. "It worked the last time."
Beads of sweat were running down her cleavage. Her breathing was hot and heavy.
She moaned as she gained momentum by rocking her hips harder and harder, preparing for the final climactic effort she knew was coming soon. Then, in one final full-body t**..., it was all over, and she breathed a deep sigh of relief and satisfaction. It's always a struggle when the wife gets up off the sofa.
My girlfriend came through the front door and moaned, "I had to walk home in the rain and now I'm really wet!"
I replied, "You get turned on by the weirdest s**...…"
My friend told me he had a f**......
So I just started hitting him with my 30cm ruler while he moaned.
My Dad is always complaining about how much things cost
"£1.50 for a cup of tea" he said
"£2.50 for 3 custard creams" he moaned
I said "Look dad you just popped round, I didn't invite you!"
My Dad always worked really hard to be able to put dinner on the table for his family.
And still my Mam moaned because he couldn't afford to buy plates.
That table was ruined.
