Moan Jokes
41 moan jokes and hilarious moan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about moan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Moan Short Jokes
Short moan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The moan humour may include short groan jokes also.
- My wife phoned me, panting and breathless. "Where are you?" she moaned.
"I'm at the pub." I replied.
She said, "I think the baby's coming!"
I said, "Well, he won't get in. He's underage." - My sister is moaning and screaming in her bedroom because she is sick. I'm happy that her boyfriend is there to comfort her.
- The baby Woman at a maternity hospital is in a lot of pain, moaning. The man strokes her back, I'm so sorry sweetheart that you have to endure this…
Don't worry Steve, it's not your fault. - Having a cat is just like having a girlfriend ... They both
* wail and moan when you neglect to feed them
* bite and scratch when you try to pet them
* keep escaping from the basement - My mum keeps moaning about the cost of things these days. £2.50 for a sandwich, £1.50 for coffee, £12.50 for a Sunday lunch.... So I say to her, look Mum, my house, my prices!
- why will you never hear a vegan moan in bed ? she'll never admit she's enjoying a piece of meat...
- I was playing a board game with my friends when I noticed some important pieces of the game were missing. I asked my friend, " Are you the game owner?"
He said, "I moan but I'm straight" - I put my ear to the bedroom door and heard my wife moaning and a male grunting. I never knew she was a ventriloquist.
- Pandas have finally started breeding together in captivity According to staffers, the place just suddenly erupted into panda-moan-ium
- I've been a father for three years and it's been a wonderful experience. I've learnt all about responsibility. But my son just keeps moaning "it's too late now" and "I'm 26 years old".
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Moan One Liners
Which moan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with moan? I can suggest the ones about whine and growls.
- Why did helen keller mastutbate with one hand? So she could moan with the other.
- How does a mummy attract a mate? Pharaoh moans.
- What does a vegan zombie moan? graaaiins...
- It can't be much fun being gay. Your friends are always moaning behind your back.
- When the moon moans..... You know the sun has gone down.
- Whats tiny and makes priests moan? Church attendance levels.
- Two paleontologists where moaning in a ditch One found a bone
- Why are sounds made by Egyptian mummies such a turn-on? They're pharaoh-moans.
- Why does your mummy turn me on so much? Pharaoh moans.
- Okay lets do this. *Cracks knuckles* Knuckles:* Moans *
- How did ancient Egyptian monarchs attract potential mates? By using their "pharoah-moans"
- Why did the miner moan when he struck gold? He was having an ore-gasm.
- Why do cats like Pharaohs? Because Pharaoh moans.
- What form of government do zombies have? A moan-archy.
- How did Egyptian kings communicate with their wives? They used their Pharaoh-moans.
Delightful Fun Moan Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about moan you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wailing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make moan pranks.
During a f**......
The pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another f**... for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
A f**... service is being held in a synagogue for a woman who has just passed away.
At the end of the service, the pall bearers are carrying the casket out when they accidentally bump into a wall jarring the casket.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive. She lives for 10 more years and then dies.
A ceremony is again held at the same synagogue and at the end of the ceremony the pall bearers are again carrying the casket.
As they are walking the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
Why vegans don't moan during s**...
It's coz they're afraid to admit that some meat makes them happy
Vegan girls never moan during s**...
Because they don't want to admit that a piece of meat gave them such pleasure.
A f**... rerun . . .
A f**... service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another f**... for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
A f**... service is held for a lady who just passed away.
As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan.
They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies.
They have another f**... for her.
At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, Watch out for the wall!
Why don't vegans moan during s**...?
They don't want to admit a piece of meat is making them happy
How are women and tornadoes alike?
They both moan like h**... when they come, and take the house when they leave.
Why don't vegans/vegetarians moan during s**...?
They don't wanna show that they're loving the meat inside them
In Moana, why can't Maui float?
Because he's The Rock.
A lot of mathematicians walk into a bar
The first one says "I'll have a pint."
The second says "I'll have half a pint."
Bartender replies "We don't serve half pints."
All the remaining mathematicians moan "Way to ruin the joke!"
How is a woman different from refrigerator?
A refrigerator does not moan when you stick your meat in it.
Moana decides she wants to visit Maui.
Maui, being a super nice guy, prepares a large feast for her arrival, with plans to treat her like a queen. Moana arrives and sees the massive feast, and she says to Maui, "You've done too much for me. I cannot accept these lavish gifts. Why did you do this?"
Maui responds, "What can I say? Accept your welcome!"
What's long, hard and makes a woman moan when e**...?
An ironing board.
You know it's good when moan and your legs won't stop shaking.
Stretching, that is. You can do it anytime of the day and it still feels good.
Did you hear about the alien that works as a phone s**... operator?
ET phone moan
Screaming ladies !
How do you make hundreds of old ladies scream and moan together?
Have another old lady shout "bingo"
A man writes a paper
A man hands his wife the paper and asks her to read it. She reads it for five minutes, quietly. Then suddenly she lets out an extremely s**... moan. She then hands the paper to her husband and says it was awful.
He responds how did you come to that conclusion?!?
I'd like to apologize if this isn't original but I came up with it yesterday so I'm gonna say it's original content
-Hey, does your wife moan when having s**...?
-Quite loudly actually, I can hear her from the living room!
I moan every time a cashier checks an item for me
The sound is proportional to the amount. I once bought a house. They heard me three states away
