Mo Jokes
112 mo jokes and hilarious mo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mo Short Jokes
Short mo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mo humour may include short jokes also.
- I pointed to the night sky and said, "Look, it's a mo!" "A mo?" asked my friend. "What's a mo?"
I said, "A half-moon." - After having three children I started having trouble remembering their names... So I just called them Eenie, Meanie, and Moiney. I didn't want any Mo.
- How can you tell the black British Olympic long distance runner from the Kenyans? The British one is Mo' Farah.
- Ferguson, MO In the after hours bars where the cops in Ferguson hang out, the most popular tipple is a 'Jim Crow': that's a shot of Jim Beam, and a shot of Old Crow - served separate, but equal.
- Why did Netflix lose 250 dollars? Because all of Mo'Niques fans cancelled their subscription.
- A joke about Monet A man goes to a stable, but it is very quiet.
He says to himself.
"This place needs mo neigh." - If Cinderella had a chinese name... and 2 brothers... What would their names be?
Cinderella - Swee Ping
Brothers - Mo Ping & Wai Ping - A friend of mine, a mother of 4 refused to get her children vaccinated. Edit : Mother of three..
Edit2 : Mother of two...
Edit3 : Mother of one.....
Edit4 : Mo.. Wait.. - What do you call a man with ham on his head ? Ham-ed
What do you call a man with more ham on his head ?
Mo-hamed - I watched somebody tell a dad joke in slow motion. It was even funnier because the slow-mo made him look drunk.
Finally, a relevant dad joke.
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Mo One Liners
Which mo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mo? I can suggest the ones about and .
- It took a week to cut my lawn... It was a slow-mo
- What do you call a gay couple in their 80? Slo-mo sexuals.
- What do you call an intelligent sloth? Slo-mo sapiens
- Eenie, Meenie, and Minie walk in to a bar. I bet you want to hear Mo.
- Why are coins not made from molybdenum? Mo money, Mo problems.
- What do you get if you mix..... Mexicans with Samoans?
Some mo Mexicans! - What does a mosque and a 9 year old girl have in common? Prophet Mo's been in both.
- I want to wish you a Happy Birthday in Chinese. yung no mo !
- Why did Disney create Moana? Because after watching Frozen, people wanted Mo' Anna.
- What's a single Scottish man's favourite kind of cookie? Mo' lasses
- What do you call a Muslim that eats pork? Mo' Ham Head
- What do you call a half moon? A mo
- What's brown and runny? Mo Farah
- Mo Farah Mo could probably run Farah than me
- If you meet a friendly horse, how would you communicate? By mo-o-o-o-orse.
Slow Mo Jokes
Here is a list of funny slow mo jokes and even better slow mo puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Every time I yawn I remember Jessica Jones *Come back here, Jessicaaaaa*^( slow mo)
- What do you need if you're too slow? Mo mentum!
Mo Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about mo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mo pranks.
What is the most expensive video-streaming service at this time?
College
For anyone attending Stan Lee's f**......
Make sure you stay after the ceremony is finished.
The president of the US is threatening to send the military to suppress US citizens.
Looks like Americans are finally gonna get a taste of democracy and freedom.
The female janitor at my building asked if I would chill and smoke some w**... with her
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women
By legalizing Cannabis and same-s**... marriage we finally interpreted the bible correctly:
**"A man who lays with another man should be s**...."** [Leviticus 20:13 esv]
Edit1: a typo
Edit2: thanks for the gold humorous stranger!
Can we ban "yo momma" jokes from this sub? They're old, s**... and have been done by literally everyone hundreds of times
Just like yo mamma
What's the difference between the US Capitol and Mordor?
One does not simply walk into Mordor
My favourite s**... position is called "WOW" ...
It's where I flip your mom over
Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.
One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.
My bullies broke my MP3-Player at school. Luckily, my parents bought me an MP4 for my birthday, but these idiots destroyed it again.
Tomorrow, I'll bring an MP5.
Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."
Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."
I saw a girl crying, so I asked her Where are your parents? and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
How does moses make his coffee?
Hebrews it.
A m**... was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him.
The flight attendant then asked the m**... if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely r**... by a dozen w**... than let liquor touch my lips."
The Irishman then handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "Me, too, I didn't know we had a choice."
"Mom, I'm dating a man."
"Whom, sweetheart?"
"Mike the mailman."
"Mike the mailman? But he could be your father!"
"But mom, age is just a number."
"Sweetheart, I don't think you understood."
​
Did you hear the rumor about butter?
Well, I'm not going to spread it!
Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay."
Mom: *Stares at Dad*
Dad: *Clenches fist*
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: *Sweats Profusely*
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
When I was a kid, my mother told me I could be anyone I wanted to be.
Turns out, identity theft is a crime.
Just spent $300 on a limousine and discovered that the fee doesn't include a driver
Can't believe I've spent all that money and I have nothing to chauffeur it...
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out the movie theatre
My girlfriend said, "You act like a detective too much. I want to split up."
"Good idea," I replied. "We can cover more ground that way."
I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my 8 year old*
Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?
Me: Two. You have two, son.
Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!
The student has become the teacher.
An angel appears in a puff of smoke to a man and says to him, "Because you have lived a good and virtuous life, I can offer you a gift: you can be the most handsome man in the world, or you can have infinite wisdom, or you can have limitless wealth." Reflecting, the man says, "I'll take the wisdom"
"Wisdom is yours," says the angel, disappearing in another puff.
The smoke is barely clear before the man thinks, "I should have taken the money."
Iamonthemoonandthereisnowheretogetabeer.
Thereisnospacebar.
Virginity in school
Son to mother: "Mom, all the kids in the school are making fun of me because I am still a v**...."
Mother: "Well, start giving them bad grades and they will stop."
TIL unvaccinated children are less likely to be autistic
Because they are more likely to be dead
What Asian stereo type do you hear the most?
Personally I've got a Sony surround sound system.
Obama smoked w**... growing up, and now look where he is today
Unemployed with two kids and recently evicted
Thanos' finger snap would have a greater impact if they found a way to make it seem like half the audience disappeared.
Apparently only DC movies can do that.
A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"
Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.
When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"
Husband doing crossword with his wife
Husband: Emphatic no, five letters.
Wife: Never
H: p**..., 3 letters.
W: Gun
H: Disgust, 3 letters.
W: Ugh
H: Charity, 4 letters.
W: Give
H: Female sheep, 3 letters
W: Ewe
H: Pixar movie, 2 letters
W: Up
Trump might finally get what he wants the most
He might get to be president for the rest of his life.
A man went to the hospital to visit his mother-in-law, who was in serious condition. On the way back the wife, very worried, asks: "So, honey? How's my mom doing?"
He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"
When Batman is investigating a crime, the most likely explanation is that the Joker did it.
That's Arkham's Razor.
Why was my post removed
Can someone from admin please explain to me why my post was removed?
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over.
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer Smoking or Non-smoking .
Apparently the correct terms are Cremation and Burial .
A homeless guy asked me for money today
So I looked in my pocket for change, but all I had on me was a $20 bill. I thought to myself "Do I really want this $20 going towards drugs?...Nah" So I gave him the 20.
A pirate goes to the doctor and say, "I have moles on me back aaarrrghh."
The doctor: "It's ok, they're benign."
Pirate: "Count again, I think there be ten!"
How do you break up two blind guys fighting?
Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
At birth, success is being alive. At age 3, success is not p**... your pants. At age 10, success is having friends. At age 16, success is having a driver's license. At age 20, success is having s**.... At age 30, success is having money...
At age 40, success is having money.
At age 55, success is having s**....
At age 70, success is having a driver's license.
At age 75, success is having friends.
At age 80, success is not p**... your pants.
At age 100, success is being alive.
Where do little jokes come from?
Well, a dad joke meets yo momma joke and then they knock knock.
People say smoking will give you diseases.
What they don't know is that it cures salmon.
What do you call an emo a capella group?
Self Harmony
Having homosexual parents must be terrible
Either you have double dosage of dad jokes or you are stuck in cycle of go ask your mom
Don't know why this got removed the first time. I'll try again. When is it OK to have s**... with your cousin?
[Twice removed]
A little girl asks her father: "Daddy, what is corruption?"
-- Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you.
-- But mommy said you should stop drinking!
-- Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.
-- Oh, okay!
Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...
O B C D...
If I had a dollar for every downvote EA"s comment gets....
I would have enough money to unlock half of the Battlefront 2 heroes without having to grind them.
How many Democrats does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. They only *talk* about change.
I scared the postman today by going to the door completely n**....
I'm not sure what scared him more. My n**... body or the fact I knew where he lived
When Trump borrows $1,000,000 from his dad it's a small loan
But when he donates that much money to Texas, it's a yuuuge contribution
A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.
Thank you honey, she says, Is there anything I can bring back for you?
He laughs, and says, An Italian girl!
When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, How was the trip?
Very good, she replies.
And what happened to my present?
Which present? she asks.
The one I asked for - an Italian girl!
Oh, that. I did what I could. We'll just have to wait 9 months to see if it's a girl.
My mother used to tuck me in every night
She always wanted a girl :(
The problem with Trump jokes:
Republicans don't think they're funny, and Democrats don't think they're jokes.
The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife...
Thank you for everything, Mom.
Happy Mothers' Day!
Given that a radiator is essentially a vital o**... to a car, it's strange that the town in the movie Cars is called "Radiator Springs."
It would be like if we called a city "Liver Pool."
When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a c**... if I ever had s**....
He said, Any person willing to have s**... with you will sleep with almost anyone else.
What's it called when a chameleon can't change its colors anymore?
A reptile dysfunction.
What do Apple and Donald Trump have in common?
I would say that they both think de-porting is the answer when there's no more Jobs, but I shouldn't compare apples to oranges.
My son asked why sStar Wars movies came out 4, 5, 6, 1, 2, 3…
I answered in my best yoda impersonation: 'in charge of scheduling, I was'
My son loved it, I heard a sigh from my SO, and when I looked at her, she just shook her head.
What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
​
Sincerely,
​
The Internet Provider
Im surprised that Roy Moore wants a recount; a large gap in numbers had never bothered him before.
Get it?
My girlfriend is mad because I could only last 2 minutes in bed
In my defense it was d**... so it's more like 14 minutes.
Why are circumsized p**... so popular among Jewish girls?
They love anything that's 15% off
Just a joke lol
A KGB agent goes to a library and sees an old Jewish man reading a book.
What are you reading, old man? he asks.
I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.
The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.
I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.
How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to h**...? asks the KGB agent.
I already speak Russian."
What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor? What do you do with a drunken sailor early in the morning?
Don't let him drive that cargo freighter,
don't let him steer that cargo freighter,
don't let him near that cargo freighter,
early in the morning.
I call my wife Bambi. She thinks it's because she's cute with big brown eyes...
But in reality it's because I want someone to shoot her mother with a hunting rifle
The oldest computer can be traced back to Adam and Eve.
It was an apple but with extremely limited memory. Just 1 byte. And then everything crashed.
What's the most sensitive part of a man's body during m**...?
His ears.
It's a shame nothing is built in the USA anymore....
Just bought a T.V. and it said, "Built in Antenna".
I don't even know where that is!!
My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning
It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz
Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't.
It's my longest running joke of the year.
Ever wonder how a Jehovah's Witness spreads their word during Covid?
Now that you're here, do you have a moment to talk about our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
I thought my son was spending too much time playing computer games, so I stopped him and said, "Son, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."
He considered that for a moment before replying, "Yeah, well, when Abe Lincoln was your age, he was The President of the United States."
My girlfriend invited me to her house to watch Netflix.
She says Stay here, I have to do laundry really quickly.
Out of nowhere, her s**... sister comes in and sits by me.
She asks Do you want to have s**... before she gets back?
I got up and went straight to my car.
My girlfriend was outside the door and hugged me, and said I knew I could trust you.
Moral of the story: always leave your condoms in the car.
George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...
George Clooney said, "I'll direct."
Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."
And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."
I walked down a street where the houses were numbered 64K, 128K, 256K, 512K and 1MB
That was a trip down memory lane
Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you.
Smoking bacon will cure it.
What has 27 actors, three settings, two writers, and one plot?
671 Hallmark movies.
Fire is destroying a world famous landmark in Paris right now.
And there's notre dame thing they can do about it.
The female janitor in my building asked if I would smoke some w**... with her.
I said no; I can't deal with high maintenance women.
My wife got stung by a bee on the forehead. She's at the ER now, her face all swollen and bruised, she almost died.
Luckily I was close enough to hit the bee with my shovel.