The Best 28 Mmm Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Mmm jokes. There are some mmm jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mmm puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Mmm Jokes and Puns

Two Romans were in a bar having a conversation..

Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with

Roman 2: mmm?

Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many

Roman guy: You won't believe how many women I've slept with

Second Roman: mmm?

Roman Guy: don't be ridiculous, not that many

β€Œβ€ŒA Rβ€Œβ€Œoman sβ€Œβ€Œoldier iβ€Œβ€Œs bβ€Œβ€Œragging tβ€Œβ€Œo hβ€Œβ€Œis fβ€Œβ€Œriend, "β€Œβ€ŒYou'll nβ€Œβ€Œever gβ€Œβ€Œuess wβ€Œβ€Œith hβ€Œβ€Œow mβ€Œβ€Œany wβ€Œβ€Œomen Iβ€Œβ€Œ've sβ€Œβ€Œlept!"


"Nah, nβ€Œβ€Œot tβ€Œβ€Œhat mβ€Œβ€Œany"

What's the best thing about a roll of duct tape?

It turns "no no no!" into "Mmm, mmm, mmmm"

Remember duck tape turns no no no...

In to mmm mmm mmm

What's grosser than gross?

When a midget walks by and says, "Mmm, your hair smells nice!"

What does a neckbearded cannibal say?

Mmm, lady.

A jewish couple where walking the streets of Rome on vacation.

They walk past a fancy restaurant and the wife says " mmm that place smells amazing!". The Husband replies " You're right it does smell really good. If you want on the way back to the hotel we can walk by this same place again"

Three moles dig their way to IHOP

The first mole pops his head out, sniffs around, and says, "mmm I smell pancakes!"
The second moles pops his head out, sniffs around, and says, "mmmm I smell coffee!"
The third mops his head out, sniffs around, and says, "all I smell is molasses.."

The king's guard bursts into the throne room...

Out of breath and in a panic they alert the king
> Sire, the peasants, they're revolting!

The king nods and responds:
>Mmm yes, they are quite disgusting aren't they

A Scotsman is out walking with his girlfriend.

They walk by a hot dog stand, and the girl exclaims, "Mmm, that smells so good!"

"Oh," the Scotsman answers, "do you want to go walk past it again?"

You can explore mmm reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mmm dad jokes. There are also mmm puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Dwarfs and Sexual Harassment

Dawn, a tall attractive office assistant complains to human relations in her firm that every time she goes to the photocopier a nearby worker named Philbert comes up close to her and says "Mmm, your hair smells nice." Hermagrude, the kind , wise human relations officer says placatingly, "Well Dawn, many women would treat that as a compliment, perhaps you could see it that way?" Dawn replies, "well normally I might but Philbert is a dwarf."

What did the cannibal say when he was eating the College Professor's nuts?

Mmm. Academia!

NSFW A lady was queueing up at the donating line at a sperm bank.

A helper goes up to her and tells her:"Ma'am, you are queueing in the wrong line. This is the line to donate sperms."

The woman stares at him for a second. She then points at her mouth and goes:"Mmm! Mmm!"

Have you heard that duct tape can be used as an aphrodisiac?

It turns "NO! NO! NO!" into "MMM! MMM! MMM!"

What did the Dalmatian say after eating its favorite treat?

Mmm, that hit the spot!

Ancient Rome

Two friends are talking:
- you know how many girls i had?
- mmm?
- no, not that many...

What's the best part about duck tape?

It makes "No, no, no!", sound like " Mmm! Mmm! Mmm!"

An accountant goes to the doctor...

An accountant knocks on the door of his doctor's surgery and walks in.
"Hello, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me. Goodbye." With that he turns around and walks out.


30 seconds later he is back. "Hello again, doctor. Please help. I just don't know what's wrong with me."

The Doctor looks up from his desk and says:

>"Mmm. I think you have a serious case of double entry."

A little girl sits down on Santa's lap and ask for...

She ask for a Barbie doll and a GI Joe. "Mmm," said Santa, "I thought barbie came with Ken." "No," replies the girl. "Barbie fakes it with Ken, she loves GI joe."

[NSFW] What is the best thing about gaffer tape ?

It turns "no, no, no" into "mmm, mmm, mmm"

A roman military is talking to his friend

First Roman: "Guess how many women I've slept with."

Second Roman: "Mmm?"

First roman: "Don't be ridiculous, not that many."

The Cocaine I bought was so white

That it's first words were: mmm, delicious quinoa, susan


Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with Roman 2: mmm? Roman 1:

Duct Tape

Duct tape is the best sexual aid ever invented. I've never had a no when using it. It's like it's turn 'no no no' into 'mmmm mmm mm'

What did the Pyrophile say to the sexy fire?

Mmm, Day Ash!

Give a man a fire, he's warm for a day

Mmm, rotisserie was really the right way to go this time!

A blind man walks into a Fifty Shades of Grey theater

takes a deep breath and says " MMM ... I guess I'm at a fish market"

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mmm jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mmm piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes