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Mixing Jokes

60 mixing jokes and hilarious mixing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mixing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Mixing Short Jokes

Short mixing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mixing humour may include short mixture jokes also.

  1. I like my women like I like my whiskey. 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
    Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke.
  2. My wife said she has had enough of me because I always get my directions mixed up... So I just packed my bags and right...
  3. What do you get when you mix an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering whether or not there is a dog.
  4. I'm one of those people who thinks different races shouldn't mix Which is why I don't participate in triathlons
  5. What do you get when you mix a broccoli and a melon? The saddest vegetable known to man: a melonccoli.
  6. I have a Spotify playlist that has songs from The Peanuts Movie, Eminem, and The Cranberries I call it my trail mix.
  7. What do you get when you mix Human DNA and goat DNA? A stern police warning and a lifetime ban from the petting zoo
  8. What do you get when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? Alot of dirty looks and kicked out of the petting zoo, apparently.
  9. I once mixed red bull and coffee After 20 minutes on highway I noticed that I forgot my car at home
  10. I wanted to join the Yakuza, but I got it mixed it up with Jacuzzi . Now I'm in hot water with the Japanese mafia.

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Mixing One Liners

Which mixing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mixing? I can suggest the ones about mixer and combing.

  1. TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway Whoops, wrong sub.
  2. What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA? Banned from of Seaworld
  3. What do you get if you mix human DNA and whale DNA? You get kicked out of sea world…
  4. What happens when you mix human DNA with goat DNA? You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
  5. What do you get when you mix laxatives with holy water? A religious movement.
  6. This blender I just bought doesn't seem to be working right I keep getting mixed results
  7. What do you get when you mix American Literature and alcohol? Tequila Mockingbird
  8. What do you get when you mix a rat and an elephant? Who cares? It's a relephant.
  9. What do you get when you mix human DNA and gorilla DNA? Kicked out of the zoo.
  10. Why do programmers always mix up Christmas and Halloween? DEC 25 == OCT 31
  11. What do you get when you mix alphabet soup and laxatives? Letter rip!
  12. About to mix gasoline with a lit match, AMA
  13. What do you get when you mix a gullible and an optimistic person Read it again
  14. I hate spelling errors. You mix up two letters and your whole post is urined.
  15. I like my women like I like my whiskey 15 years old and mixed up in coke.

Mixing joke, I like my women like I like my whiskey

Gather Around for Fun Mixing Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about mixing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean blend jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mixing pranks.

An Indian guy is getting a job at a call center for copy machine support

The interviewer decides to test his knowledge of mixing light vs. Mixing pigments by asking him to use green, pink, and yellow in the same sentence about his job.
He says "When the phone goes 'green green', I pink it up and say 'Yellow?'"

What did the scientist say before he died by mixing Hydroxide and Nitrate?

"OH^- NO^3+ !"

So my brother tried the old saw about calculus and alcohol not mixing...

i.e., don't drink and derive. I said, "It's true. I tried it and destroyed a bridge."

TIFU by mixing condiments up.

This is seems to be the wrong sub.

What does a Canadian get by mixing black and white?

Greh.

TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Jimmy Johns

Oops... Wrong sub.
I'll see myself out.

I think my friend's new bowl is really a colander

He told me a long story about how he uses it for mixing, but it doesn't hold water.

An English gent was having a go with his lady

She decided she wanted to start mixing up in the bedroom. One night she looked at him dead in the eyes as they were b**... and said "make love to me like you've never made love to me before!"
So he took his socks off.

I found a good bread recipe where you don't have to get your hands messy from mixing it

The bread was kneadless, to say

[offensive] Why didn't h**... become an artist?

Because he hated mixing colors...

I tried to make a living mixing audio files to the left and right

...but it didn't really pan out.

What do you call mixing hard liquor into coffee?

Getting ready for work

Did you hear Renault and Ford are going release a hyrbrid vehicle this year

mixing the Renault 'Clio' and the Ford 'Taurus' together

Mixing Cannabis and Cod Liver Oil is bad!

For your joints.

Tried mixing Mexican alcohol with 20th century American literature last night…

Ended up with tequila mockingbird.

My wife insisted on mixing the butter and flour together.

I told her she would roux the day.

My friend told me that If he wasn't mixing cocktails, he'd be a criminal.

Either way, he's behind bars.

No mixing utensils are allowed near the courthouse as the month-long case against the violent baker continues.

It's a whisk-free 30 day trial.

What did the scientist said after mixing oxygen and magnesium?

O Mg

What do goths and the k**... have in common?

They don't have to worry about mixing darks and lights in their washing machines.

I like my women like my r**...

Aged 13 years and swimming in coke
Disclaimer: This is a joke! I do NOT condone mixing r**... and coke!

I like my single malt how I like my girls.

15 years old and mixed up with coke.
(Just a joke, I would never condone mixing single malt and coke)

Why does mystery story writer insists upon mixing additional crushed stone while laying the foundation?

So the plot thickens.

A guy walks into a bar and sees a horse behind the bar serving drinks

The man takes a seat at the bar, mouth wide open, stunned. The horse is interacting with customers, mixing drinks, taking meal orders, and giving change.
Finally the horse sees the man, and says What's the matter, buddy? Never seen a talking horse before?
The man says, No, it's not that. I just never thought the cow would sell the place.

We need to stop mixing races. By doing so it creates people with an unfair advantage when it comes to competition.

No matter how hard I try I still can't outrun a Nascar.

I don't believe in mixing up peas with my wife...

That's why at my house we have his peas and her peas.

If you're thinking about mixing together poison ingredients...

Don't whisk it!

I have a friend named Phillip

He loves mixing orange juice and v**.... Loves it so much that he had a special glass made with his face on it.
It's always nice to see Phillip's head screwdrivers.

Arkansa's nickname used to be "The Land of Opportunity"

Then the Mexicans came and starting race mixing. Now it's known as "The Natural State"

Mixing lemon tea with black tea makes an ideal 'tea shandy' for tea totallers.

Apparently there is a new trend of mixing in glitter with m**......

I hear it's pretty dope....

My English teacher was always mixing metaphors, like he's so far off-base he'll have to swim back to shore.

A chemist tried to impress his beautiful lab assistant...

He began my mixing two chemicals previously uncombined in hopes it would produce a strong aphrodisiac. Upon smelling the fumes, the assistant instantly vomited onto the chemist's face.
That was not the reaction he was hoping for.

Friend keeps telling me my mixing of metaphors will get me in trouble....

But we'll burn that bridge when we get to it

A Good Mother

A good mom will always let her child lick the cookie dough after she's finished mixing it.
The best mom will switch the mixer off first.

(This was a joke translated from Russian that my mom always told me. She was a pretty good mom ;( )

Why are all the good Genetic Scientists from NZ?

They've been mixing human and sheep DNA for centuries

a man dies and goes to heaven.

he arrives at the gate of heaven and sees 60 people baking stuff. some whisking eggs and some mixing batter. he is confused so before he goes in he asked the gatekeeper; why are those people cooking instead of enjoying heaven? the gatekeeper replies; well they have bad karma from their time on earth the man says; what does cooking have to do anything? the gatekeeper says; well those people are baking cakes, and everyone knows that the best way to get good karma is with cake

My son was mixing the pancake batter with a whisk in both hands while he was helping my wife make Father's Day breakfast.

I gasped and said, honey, do you really think you should be letting him do that? That looks two whisk-y!

Common English Mistakes

Common English Mistakes
-mixing up there, their, and they're
-using the wrong too, to, or two
-putting commas in the wrong place
-enslaving innocent people and stealing their riches
-using apostrophes for plurals

Making bread is very addictive

First I was enjoying just mixing the ingredients. But after a while I kneaded it.

The sermon on the mount

Jesus: "Verily, I tell you: x²+5x+10."
Mark: "Huh? What's the boss talking about?"
John: "Never mind, he's just mixing up parable and parabola again."

Guy walks into a bar

Guy to the bartender: I'll take a Jack and Coke
Bartender: pepsi ok?
Guy: ...sure
Bartender: *starts mixing coke and pepsi*

l**... the beaters.

I remember my mom baking cakes when I was a kid. She used an electric mixer. If I had been good, when she was done mixing she would let me lick the beaters. If I had been really good she would turn it off first.

Mixing joke, l**... the beaters.

jokes about mixing