Mittens Jokes
42 mittens jokes and hilarious mittens puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mittens that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mittens Short Jokes
Short mittens jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mittens humour may include short midge jokes also.
- Some of my friends have been making very hurtful remarks about my choosing to wear mittens rather than gloves... ...but I don't like to point fingers...
- Why did the rooster buy mittens? So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold.
I'll leave now - I started a new diet this week. I now abstain from eating any food while I put my mittens on in the winter. I call it inter-mitten fasting.
- Why weren't there any famous gun slingers in the Canadian West? Because they all wore mittens.
- What do you call a new mitten manufacturing company formed by a U.S. senator? Bernie's Handers.
- MISSING: Black and white cat with red collar. Very intelligent. Mittens, if you're reading this, please come home.
- Hellen Keller falling down a cliff Why couldn't she yell while falling down a cliff?
She was wearing mittens. - An old lady was knitting & speeding down the highway. A cop pulled up alongside her vehicle & yelled, "Pull over!" She yelled back, "No, they're mittens!"
- I got my cat Kitten Mittens and now he looks like he's got a wicked peanut allergy He does not like cat shoes
- An old lady was speeding down the highway while she was knitting.
A cop sees this and speeds up alongside her vehicle.
"Pullover!" the cop says
"No!" the woman replied, "They're mittens!"
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Mittens One Liners
Which mittens one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mittens? I can suggest the ones about glove and slippers.
- Why couldn't anyone hear Hellen Keller scream? She was wearing mittens.
- What did Helen Keller say when she fell into the snow? Nothing, she was wearing mittens.
- Did you hear about the cat that ate a ball of yarn? She had a litter of mittens.
- How does Bernie Sanders stay so slim? Inter-mitten fasting.
- What do you call a faceless sock puppet? A mitten.
- What do you call on-again off-again snow in Michigan? Inter-mitten.
- Why did the hand and the mitten get married? Because it was glove at first sight.
- What do you call a politician that keeps your hands warm? Mitten Romney
- How do mute people tell each others secrets? They put on mittens.
- Why were the new mittens so flirty? Young gloves.
- Why do tennis players have cold hands? They have bad mittens.
- What happened to the cat that swallowed a ball of wool?...... It had Mittens.
- Schrodinger's neighbor... "So, I haven't seen Mittens around lately. How is she doing?"
- Why did the tennis players only wear one glove? Cause he had a bad mitten!
- What does a glove say when completing a task? Mittens accomplished.
Humorous Mittens Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life
What funny jokes about mittens you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean socks jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mittens pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do deaf people tell each other secrets ?
They wear mittens.
My friend Jason invited me to spend a week with him and his family at their ski lodge.
I wanted to bring gifts. For him, a felt hat. For her felt mittens. For the kids, felt-tipped markers.
I like to make my presents felt.
I was supposed to knit blue mittens for the Children's Cancer Foundation, but I had accidentally knitted all red mittens...
Oops, wrong thread.
What did a kid with no hands get for christmas?
Mittens!
Just kidding he's still trying to open it
I'm crocheting some mittens for my daughter and the needlework is driving me mad.
Oh well, it's a labour of glove.
What did the mittens say on their wedding day?
I glove you.
What did a Republican grandma give her grandchildren for Christmas?
Mittens.
I lost my mittens and my girlfriend today.
One might say that I'm in between gloves.
A student goes away to college for the first time
He's worried about how his cat will take his absence, so he calls home the first chance he gets. His little brother answers the phone.
How's Mittens doing?
Oh, Mittens died.
What?
Yeah, Mittens is dead.
I can't believe that you just blurted it out like that.
What do you mean?
Well, you could have broken it to me gently. You could have said, 'She's up on the roof and we can't get her down.' Then next time I called you could say that Mittens fell and got hurt, and then next time you could say that she died. It wouldn't have been such a shock.
Yeah, I see what you mean. Sorry.
That's OK, just let me talk to Mom.
Uh, she's up on the roof and we can't get her down.
Did you hear about the awful proctologist who doesn't use latex gloves?
He uses latex mittens.
How does a deaf and dumb tell a secret to another one?
He wears mittens.
