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Mitt Romney Jokes

53 mitt romney jokes and hilarious mitt romney puns to laugh out loud. Read celebrity jokes about mitt romney that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Mitt Romney Short Jokes

Short mitt romney jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mitt romney humour may include short morgan freeman jokes also.

  1. HURRICANE SANDY UPDATE Mitt Romney has advised everyone in the path of hurricane Sandy to make their way to their 2nd or 3rd homes immediately.
  2. No power. Mitt Romney : "8 Million Americans still have no power."
    Obama: "8 Million and one."
  3. How to describe Mitt Romney in two sentences. I stand by what I said, whatever it is that I said.
    I deny saying that, whatever it is that I said.
  4. Why does Mitt Romney never win at Jenga? Because he takes too much from the bottom and middle and gives it to the top.
  5. Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship... Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!?
    The answer: AMERICA!!!
  6. I don't understand why people think Donald Trump is making republicans look bad... Every time he speaks I appreciate Mitt Romney more and more.
  7. All of Donald Trump's wives are foreigners... Turns out there really are jobs American's won't do.
    Source: Mitt Romney's response to an interviewer's question.
  8. What's the difference between Mitt Romney and the former President of Mexico? One is a fascist Mexican and the other is Felipe Caulderon
  9. What's Mitt Romney's favorite make of vehicle? A Mack truck, because it already has a little dog on top.
  10. Mitt Romney was in my dream last night... Real dream. We were at the airport, and as we boarded the plane I turned to him and said "Aww, c'mon man, you named your plane Airforce 1%?"

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Mitt Romney One Liners

Which mitt romney one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mitt romney? I can suggest the ones about paul ryan and tony romo.

  1. What type of milk does Mitt Romney use with his cereal? The one percent
  2. How did Mitt Romney get a 14% tax rate? He claimed 47% of America as dependents.
  3. What kind of milk does Mitt Romney drink? 1%
  4. What is it called when Mitt Romney and James Comey hang out? A romcom.
  5. What does Romney wear in the winter? A pair of Mitts
  6. Finally, I have something in common with Mitt Romney? We'll both never be president.
  7. What did Mitt Romney say to C3P0? Threepio, hand me those binders, willya?
  8. I want to do to your body what Mitt Romney does to poor people.
  9. What do /u/spez and mitt Romney have in common? They're both terribly consistent.
  10. What do you get if you mix Mitt Romney and the papacy? Binders full of children.
  11. I think this belongs here. Mitt Romney
  12. What are Mitt Romney's favorite shoes? Flip flops
  13. How can you tell when Mitt Romney is lying? His mouth is moving.
  14. Mitt Romney Runs for president.
  15. What's the problem with m**... polygamy? After enough inbreeding, you get Mitt Romney.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about mitt romney can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of mitt romney puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Silly & Ridiculous Mitt Romney Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter

What funny jokes about mitt romney you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean mitt jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make mitt romney prank.

Q: What did o**... Bin Laden's ghost say to Mitt Romney? A: "Don't be sad, Obama's foreign policy killed me too"

Rick s**... is claiming that Mitt Romney and Ron Paul have teamed up against him...

Which is kind of ironic — that s**... can be brought down by two men forming a civil union.

Clocks in Heaven

A woman passes away and finds herself at the Pearly Gates, with an angel showing her around. One thing she immediately notices is that there are a LOT of clocks in Heaven. Billions. She asks the angel who explains. "Everyone, past or present, gets a clock when they are born. Each time you tell a lie, the second hand moves once." She is amazed at this and goes looking.
She finds Mother Theresa's clock and notices it's moved three times. George Washington's clock hasn't moved at all. She's somewhat ashamed that her own is showing it's 18:30.
She begins hunting furiously, unable to find a specific one, however. Finally she gives up. "Where is Mitt Romney's clock!?"
"In Jesus's office. He uses it for a ceiling fan."

Is it true there is an 'underground' organization supporting Mitt Romney?

Called "Sub-Mitt"?



Obama has suspended fundraising
activities

Postby Jack Flash » Sep 22 2012
10:12:03 am
In light of Mitt Romney's recent
statements to the press, Obama has
Obama has suspended fund raising
activities.


In light of Mitt Romney's recent statements to the press, President Obama has decided to let Mitt Romney do his campaigning for him.

A teacher asks her students what their parents do for a living...

Jack answers, "my daddy's a scientist, and my mom is a nurse."
Suzie answers, "my mommy's an architect."
"And how about you, Johnny?" the teacher asks one student. Johnny looks up at her and says, "my dad works at a gay s**... club. Every night, he dances in a g-string for a bunch of men, and once in a while one of the men will pay him and he'll go to the man's house for the night." The teacher, shocked, hurriedly moves the class along to the next activity.
A little while later, she pulls Johnny aside while the rest of the students are working, and asks, "did you really mean that when you said your dad's a gay stripper?" Johnny looks up and says, "no, he's one of Mitt Romney's campaign managers, but that was too embarrassing to tell the whole class."

Mitt Romney and the King of Saudi-Arabia are having a dinner party...

...the mood of the night is very good and after they spent a while talking about what new amazing things they have bought for themselves and the amount of money they managed to acquire in the past year, as well as all sorts of political matters they come to some lighter topics.
So the King says to Mitt:
"I really like parts of American culture, especially American television. My favourite show in the world is 'Star Trek'. But I only have one question about it. On the ship there are Asians, Caucasians, Africans, Latin- and Native Americans and all sorts of other people from around the world and the universe, but there are no Arabs on the ship. Why is that?"
Mitt shruggs his shoulders and replies:
"Well it is set in the future..."

Mittens keeping it cool.

A man dies, goes to heaven, stands before St. Peter, and see a huge wall of clocks. The man asks what all the clocks are for and St. Peter explains, "These are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move."
Pointing to one, the man says, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's," St. Peter answers. "The hands have never moved, indicating she never told a lie."
"Incredible," the man responds. "And whose clock is that?"
St. Peter responds, "That's Abraham Lincoln's. The hands moved twice telling us he told two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Mitt Romney's clock?" the man asks.
"Romney's clock is in Jesus' office," St. Peter says. "He's using it as a ceiling fan."

A man dies and goes to heaven..

A man dies, goes to heaven, stands before St. Peter, and sees a huge wall of clocks. The man asks what all the clocks are for and St. Peter explains, "these are lie clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie clock. Every time a person lies, the clock hands move."
Pointing to one, the man says, "Whose clock is that?"
"That's Mother Teresa's," St. Peter answers. "The hands have never moved, indicating she never told a lie."
"Incredible," the man responds. "And whose clock is that?"
St. Peter responds. "That's Abraham Lincoln's. The hands moved twice telling us he told two lies in his entire life."
"Where is Mitt Romney's clock?" the man asks.
"Romney's clock is in Jesus' office," St Peter says. "He's using it as a ceiling fan."

Sleeping with POTUS

The night before the election, Mitt Romney was very confident & told his Wife Ann; "...this time tomorrow night, you'll be sleeping with the
President of the United States". After Mitt's concession speech, they headed to bed. Ann was getting undressed when she asked,.."...so how does this work? Is Barrack coming over here or I'm supposed
to go over there?"

A Genie grants a young man 3 wishes

A young man stumbles upon a genie one day. The genie agrees to give the man 3 wishes. "I want to get many women", says the man. "I want to be extremely wealthy", continues the man. " I want-", he is cut off by the genie. "You are one of the most selfish people I have granted wishes for, young man. If I were you, I would use your last wish for something for others.", says the genie. "Fine then. For my last wish, I wish that Black people would be more successful.", says the man. "All 3 of your wishes are granted." says the genie. And that is the story of the last time Mitt Romney listened to anybody.

Donald Trump is the most unifying voice in American politics.

When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?

Shaun King is so white...

that he makes Mitt Romney look like he is straight out of Compton.

jokes about mitt romney

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these mitt romney jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.