Mitch Jokes

Funniest Mitch Short Jokes

Short mitch jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mitch humour may include short mitch hedberg jokes also.

1. I used to like Mitch Hedberg jokes... I still do, but I used to, too.
   18 years ago, today, we lost one of the greats.
   R.I.P. to a legend.
2. I used to steal Mitch Hedberg jokes and try to pass them off as my own. I still do, but I used to too.
3. Here is the best one liner from the legend, Mitch Hedberg My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
4. A joke I wrote in the style of Mitch Hedberg... I'm gonna change my name to 'marriage,' man.
   That way, all those girls out there can be saving themselves for *me*!
5. I just got the Mitch Hedberg COVID test. I asked my friend if he knows anyone with COVID.
   He said No.
   So I know I don't have COVID because he knows me.
6. I bought a world map for my room, I'm gonna put a pin on everywhere that i've travelled… … but first I gotta travel to the top 2 corners of the map so it won't fall down.
   (Mitch Hedberg 2003)
7. My attempt at a Mitch Hedberg joke "Why are people always having their pizzas delivered? Just order them without liver."
8. You know what? I'm sick of following my dreams! I'm just going to ask where they're going, and catch up with them later.
   --RIP Mitch Hedberg
9. I'm really good with cars, man. I can look at a car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's going. - Mitch Hedberg
10. My favorite Mitch Hedberg joke: I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry", so it died.

Share These Mitch Jokes With Friends

Mitch One Liners

Which mitch one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mitch? I can suggest the ones about josh and mike.

1. What's Mitch McConnell's favorite movie? Kill bill.
2. I used to like Mitch Hedberg I still do, but I used to too
3. I'm against picketing.... But I don't know how to show it.
   - Mitch Hedberg
4. 3 months ago, Senator McConnell took my rabbit. Mitch better have my bunny.
5. Hey Mitch Hedberg, what's the date today? Just press 2 for a while!
6. I gave the pet store $20 Mitch better have my bunny
7. My FedEx delivery guy is also my drug dealer. He just doesn't know it.
   RIP Mitch.
8. By The Great Mitch Hedberg. "A dog is forever in a push up postion".
9. Breaking news: Mitch Hedberg dead at 48 Has been dead since 37, but is still dead, too.
10. I tried to walk into Target But I missed. - Mitch Hedberg
11. They say Mitch McConnell is spineless. I disagree. Snakes definitely have spines.
12. What would Mitch Hedberg say if he were alive? Hey man, get me out of this coffin.
13. What did the cow say to the farmer named Mitch? Moo Mitch, get out the hay
14. I really hate picketing but I don't know how to show it!
    RIP Mitch
15. I just realized what Mitch McConnell's spirit animal It's a obese snapping turtle

Mitch Hedberg Jokes

Here is a list of funny mitch hedberg jokes and even better mitch hedberg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Mitch Hedberg died of a drug overdose... Which means the drugs came from Mexico. Otherwise, he would've over-two'd.
• One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, He said "here's a picture of me when I was younger." I responded "Every picture is of you when you were younger."
  -Mitch Hedberg
• I did not lose a leg in Vietnam so I could serve hot dogs to teenagers! You've got both your legs, Frank
  Like I said, I did not lose a leg in Vietnam.
  -Mitch Hedberg (That 70's Show)
• If i got a dollar for every Mitch Hedberg joke i stole I'd be making money in a very strange way.
• Man, you don't know how hard it is to quit smoking It's as hard as it is to start flossing
  - Mitch Hedberg
  I miss this man every day :(
• I've never been booed off stage. I've never been booed off stage! Sure, I've been booed on stage plenty of times... but never off stage.
  In honor of Mitch Hedberg. RIP.
• You know the fly was really close to being called a land... Because that's what it does half the time.
  RIP Mitch Hedberg
• Tribute joke to Mitch Hedberg. I went to a farm. They told me, Everything we raise here is organic. I hope so! Because I'm not eating a chicken made of rocks.
• Went to the doctor and the only thing he did was take blood from my neck Do not go see Dr. Acula
  -mitch hedberg Rip to a king..
• parents i have a stepladder. sadly i never knew my real ladder.
  from mitch hedberg

Mitch Mcconnell Jokes

Here is a list of funny mitch mcconnell jokes and even better mitch mcconnell puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you get when you cross Matthew McConaughey and Mitch McConnell? Alt-Right, Alt-Right, Alt-Right
• Everyone calling Mitch McConnell a turtle really needs to stop... Turtles are intelligent creatures
• The comments about Mitch McConnell looking like a turtle without a shell are particularly apt... since he's clearly missing his spine.
• I heard someone's writing a book about Mitch McConnell and Donald Trump colluding with the Russians. It's called "The Tortoise and the Hair"
• I just talked to a furloughed federal employee and told him McConnell might schedule a vote soon to reopen the government. Was there anything he particularly hoped for? Mitch better have my money.
• You can't trust Mitch McConnell He's literally in bed with the Chinese

Mitch Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about mitch you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mick jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mitch pranks.