Misunderstood Jokes
86 misunderstood jokes and hilarious misunderstood puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about misunderstood that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Misunderstood Short Jokes
Short misunderstood jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The misunderstood humour may include short misread jokes also.
- My lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday. They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
- When Samsung asked what customers wanted in their new phone... They misunderstood when they heard "Lighter."
- Frankenstein enters a bodybuilding competition And was promptly left in embarrassment when he realized that he'd severely misunderstood the objective.
- A lesbian couple got their elderly neighbor a Rolex for his birthday... Upon opening it the man said, This is really nice, but I think you ladies misunderstood when I told you I wanna watch
- It's 2021, and President Joe Biden is told he needs to assemble a cabinet Coming back from IKEA, he realizes he's greatly misunderstood the task
- I took my pants off at a party... I guess I misunderstood what a gender reveal party was supposed to be.
- It's true I misunderstood what you meant by "take me to the bone zone" but you must admit this is a very nice graveyard.
- Apparently I have catastrophically misunderstood what "apocalypse" means all this time. Oh well. It's not the end of the world.
- Apparently Aaron Hernandez misunderstood his attorney when his lawyer told him to... hang in there
- My dyslexic girlfriend told me I had a big spine. While I misunderstood at first, she took it well.
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Misunderstood One Liners
Which misunderstood one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with misunderstood? I can suggest the ones about misconception and hard to understand.
- I completely misunderstood Pride month… Anyway, who wants to buy 12 lions?
- I think Rachel Dolezal is misunderstood. . . It turns out she's bi-Rachel.
- Fugitives are so misunderstood They just need to feel wanted.
- The last time I refused a beer... I misunderstood the question
- I got fired from my job as an accountant I misunderstood what they meant by double entry
- I think Ellen Pao is just misunderstood We misunderstand how awful she is.
- Bill Cosby, misunderstood "I thought she asked if I had screw-pills."
- Regarding Robin Williams... I think he misunderstood the point of the bucket challenge
- My l**... neighbors got me a Casio they misunderstood when I said I wanted to watch
- I was offered $20/hr planting tulips... I misunderstood now I'm a p**....
- Ever heard of BLM I think it means black lives mutter, but I may have misunderstood...
- h**... was misunderstood. He said he wanted a glass of juice, not to gas the Jews.
- Do you wanna know why h**... killed so many people? He misunderstood 4-20 Blaze It.
Heartwarming Misunderstood Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about misunderstood you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean understand jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make misunderstood pranks.
What do you call someone who is misunderstood that ends up getting married?
Mrs. Understood
A lady picked up several items at a discount store.
When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag. Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, 'PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX, SUPER SIZE." That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word 'Tampax' for 'THUMBTACKS.' In a businesslike tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom: 'DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?'
Tickle me Elmo
There is a factory in Northern Ireland which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys.
The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.
Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door.
The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee.
He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.
The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor.
When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning
to pile up.
At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's.
She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.
The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the
little package between Elmo's legs.
The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter.
After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Lena.
"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you
yesterday..."
"Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.
Would you like to dance
A guy goes up to this girl in a bar and says," Would you like to dance?"
The girl says "I don't like this song, but even if I did, I wouldn't dance with you."
The guy says, "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants."
Tickle Me Elmo
A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM.
The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee.
He says she's incredibly slow, and the whole line is backing up. The foreman takes the personnel manager down to the factory floor to show him the problem.
Sure enough, Elmos are backed up all over the place. At the end of the line is the new employee. She has a roll of the material used for the Elmos and a big bag of marbles. They both watch as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles, and starts sewing the little package between Elmo's legs.
The personnel manager starts laughing hysterically. After several minutes, he pulls himself together, walks over to the woman, and says, "I'm sorry, I guess you misunderstood me yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."
A guy gets pulled over for speeding...
...and when the officer asks him if he knew why he was pulled over, the guy replies "No, sir."
"Well, for starters," says the officer, "You were going 50mph over the speed limit, and on top of that you were driving right down the center of the road!"
"Oh, you've misunderstood, officer," says the guy, "My license says I can do that."
The officer doesn't believe this, of course, and asks for proof, so the guy pulls out his license, which is little more than a temporary learner's permit printed on a piece of paper from the DMV.
"Right there at the bottom," says the driver, "It clearly reads 'tear down the dotted line.'"
A man walks into a bar......
An Irishman man walks into a bar in New York City. He orders three whiskeys. The bartender pours him one and says, "Lemme know when you want the next one." But the man says, "I think you've misunderstood me. I'd like all three at once." The bartender pours two more drinks. The man drinks down the three drinks, pays, and leaves.
This goes on almost every night for a couple of weeks. Finally the bartender asks the man why he orders three drinks at a time, since there's no real advantage to it. So the man tells him, "When I left the auld sod I promised my two brothers that whenever I sat down to take a taste of the creature, I'd order one for me and one for each of them. That's why I order three at once." It makes sense to the bartender, so he's satisfied.
The man keeps coming back almost every night for more than a year. He and the bartender get to know each other pretty well. Then one day, the man orders only two drinks. This goes on for a couple weeks, but the bartender is afraid to ask if anything happened to one of the brothers. Finally, the man comes into the bar and only orders two drinks, again. The bartender figures he has to ask, and summons up the courage to say, "I noticed you've been ordering only two drinks for the last few weeks. Is everything allright with your brothers?" The man looks at the bartender, puzzled, then realizes what he is implying. He smiles and says, "Yes! My brothers are fine, but I've given up drinking for Lent."
One of my employees came into my office today. He insisted he'd quit if he wasn't treated with more respect.
"Come on, we both know you'll never walk out of this job", I laughed.
"Just watch me then!" he yelled.
As he turned around in his wheelchair, I knew he misunderstood my point.
Oscar Pistorius misunderstood his girlfriend...
when she said: "for Valentines day, can you take me out?"
My girlfriend hired a midget to play the keyboards at my birthday party
I think she misunderstood me. I did not say I wished I had a 12 inch pianist.
My girlfriend was surprised and happy when I handed her my wallet before she went out with her girlfriends for her birthday. The look on her face soured however when she held the gooey cash in her hands.
I think she misunderstood me when I said I recently came into some money.
Why was John Lennon shocked when he got his wife's gynecologist bill?
He had misunderstood the doctor when he said "I do probe Ono."
My girlfriend in college left me for another woman.
I completely misunderstood her when she said she was going to study a broad.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend's dog came running up to us for a cuddle.
"I love you Freddy," she said, s**... his fur.
"I love him more than you," I replied.
She said, "I don't think so, I definitely love him most."
I said, "You misunderstood me."
Why does noone listen ever to the guy who talks with his mouth full?
He is so misunderstood.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife's fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time.
She must have misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman
First Pitch or ...
One sunny afternoon in 1999, Bill and Hillary Clinton were at a baseball game. Right as the game was getting ready to start, Bill stood up, picked up Hillary, and threw her out onto the baseball diamond. When Bill Clinton sat down, his chief advisor leaned over to him and said, "You know, Bill, you may have misunderstood me. I said you that you get to throw out the first pitch."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
God and the k**...
A k**... grand wizard makes it to heaven and he manages to convince god to join, but he must have misunderstood when the wizard said he wanted all black guys to be "hung".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once a t**... blows himself
After reaching Allah's gate he asks for his 72 virgins
Allah replies" You misunderstood me my son,there is only one v**... and she is 72 Years old"
Got thrown out of the furniture shop
I got thrown out of a furniture shop today. I think the girl at the counter misunderstood when I said I wanted one nightstand.
My robust wife is mad at me because I misunderstood her when she demanded flowers the next time we made love....
...and so that night, with a bag of flour in my hands all I said was: "I thought you wanted this to roll in so I could find the wet spot"
I think Aaron Hernandez misunderstood the verdict...
He must have thought it ended in a hung jury.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Roy Moor arrived at the polling station on a horse
His assistant misunderstood when Roy said he wanted to ride a 6 Year old b**...
My drug dealer gave me a pair of shoes
I'm beginning to think I misunderstood what being a drug runner meant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My gay neighbor gave me a sextape of him and his husband for my birthday.
I think he misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."
My father asked me what I wanted for my birthday. He sent me from King's Landing to the Wall.
I think he misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna Watch."
An embarassing supermarket checkout . . .
When Jane reached the checkout counter, she learned that one of her items had a scratched bar code, making it unreadable to the scanner.
Imagine her embarrassment when the cashier got on the intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear, Price check on Tampax, supersize please.
As if that was not bad enough, somebody at the rear of the store misunderstood the word Tampax for thumbtacks.
In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom, Do you want the kind you push in with your thumb or the kind you pound in with a hammer?
I thought I was invited to a swingers party but it turned out to be just a regular party.
Unfortunately I didn't realize it until I stepped in out of the cold and misunderstood when the host said "Jacket off, buddy!"
I hired a special needs guy to clean my driveway, but he must have misunderstood...
He's re-tarred it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There's a lesbian couple that lives next door to me.
For christmas they bought me a Rolex. It seems they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My girlfriend always used to tell me to "Grow a pair!"
I think I may have misunderstood when she discovered I had planted my neighbors t**... in the back garden.
My co-worker turned up to work with bright purple hair.
I think he seriously misunderstood the insult "go die"
The lesbian couple upstairs
Got me a new Rolex for Christmas. I think they may have misunderstood when I told them I wanna watch.
A wife returns from the salon, "Honey, I took your advice and got a new hair color, what do you think?"
Husband: I think you misunderstood what I meant when I said "it's time to diet".
I'm banned for life from acting in our production of Romeo and Juliet, just because I misunderstood the stage directions.
It said, [Enter Juliet from the rear]
Prince Harry will skip the royal family's annual pheasant shoot due to his wife Meghan's love of animals
Said the Queen, "You misunderstood, we're shooting peasants."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why wasn't the invisible man offered a job?
They just couldn't see him doing it! He's just like all of us: unseen, misunderstood, irrelevant.
The attractive lesbian couple across the street got me a very nice Rolex for Christmas...
I think they misunderstood when I told them "I wanna watch"
My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for Christmas.
I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch
(Sorry if this has been posted here before)
My lesbian neighbors gave me a very nice watch for my birthday.
But I think they misunderstood my answer last week when they asked me what I wanted for my birthday.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lesbian couple moved in next door...
After a while we became friends. One day they asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told them that I wanna watch. They bought me a Timex. They clearly misunderstood!
I've protected my laptop by placing several alcoholic fruity beverages on top of it.
I guess I misunderstood when people told me to focus on cider security.
Have you guys heard about cheat days?
Well, I kinda misunderstood that, and now my girlfriend has dumped me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The lesbian couple across the street allowed me to see them have s**... for my birthday.
It's a beautiful and very thoughtful experience, but I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I think Louis c**... has been misunderstood.
He was testing out new material. He just wanted to see whether women would laugh at his junk!
A dad and his son walk into a bar.
"Sorry, we don't serve minors." Said the bartender, who was often misunderstood.
The son said "But I turned 21 a year ago!".
The bartender clarified, "I know. I'm talking about your father."
The Father, having heard this, throws his pickaxe and headlamp to the ground in anger.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My Aunt Jill was an English teacher who taught me so many important lessons like....
Always use very precise language or you could be misunderstood.
I remember it vividly because we were at their farm and I was helping my uncle j**... a horse as she was telling me that.
My girlfriend of two years dumped me on her birthday. I dont know why she was so mad, I got her EXACTLY what she asked for; 10 cents and a bell...
...upon further reflection, I may have misunderstood "a dime and ring", my bad.
A girl tells her mom she's dating the guy next door
The mom's like you can't date him he could be your dad
And the daughter is like so there's an age difference who cares
I think you misunderstood me
A daughter and mother are talking.
"You're dating John, the neighbor?!", asks the mother. "He is 30 years older than you, it's-"
"But I love him!", she interrupts.
"What do you mean you love him, he could be your father!"
"I don't care about his age, he loves me too!"
"I think you misunderstood me."
