Mistook Jokes
32 mistook jokes and hilarious mistook puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mistook that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Mistook Short Jokes
Short mistook jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mistook humour may include short mistaken jokes also.
- Last night I dated a blind woman At one point she ran her hands over my cheeks and mistook my acne for braille. Boy, was my face read.
- TIL that a Russian submarine was accidentally destroyed by a Russian warship that mistook it for an enemy submarine. Oops, wrong sub!
- An animal with big antlers jumped into my car and drove it off... I mistook it for a reindeer, then realized it was just a commandeer.
- Some friends, a lesbian couple... bought me an antique gold fob timepiece for my birthday. I think they mistook me when I said "I wanna watch".
- I saw a friend I hadn't seen in a long time And he mistook me for Jesus... He was like "Jesus Christ.... Is this you?"
- What did Patrick Stewart say when the clone he created to deal with trespassing Trekkies mistook him for a fan and threw him out? Hoisted by my own Picard
- How did Helen Keller burn her cheek? She mistook the iron for a telephone.
How did she burn the other cheek?
They called back. - Did you hear about the chemist who mistook his measuring cylinder for a microphone? He spoke volumes.
- So this morning I mistook "Thomas & Friends" for "Fox & Friends"... And I spent the whole hour wondering why the characters were off the rails.
- TIL that, in 1917, England mistook an Italian maritime transport for a German one, so they attacked it. Whoops, wrong sub.
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Mistook One Liners
Which mistook one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mistook? I can suggest the ones about misread and misunderstanding.
- I tried to send Sean Bean a death threat He mistook it for a job offer. :(
- I once mistook somebody's drink for mine. It was definitely not my cup of tea.
- Why did the Chinese government confiscate all deer legs? Mistook them for moose limbs.
- The other day I mistook Tofu and Tuff... Now I don't have my teeth anymore.
- Newlyweds mistook Vaseline for putty. All their windows fell out.
- The only time a Girl asked me for a coffee was when she mistook me for a Waiter.
- Did you hear about the guy who mistook the oxygen bar for a cigar bar? He had a blast.
- Yo mama so fat I mistook her bedroom for a landfill
- You hear about the king who mistook one of his soldiers? Wasn't his knight
- Who did Chris Brown mistook Rihanna for? Britney Spears
- Your f**...'s so loud, astronauts in space mistook your f**... for a message from Houston!
Amusing & Witty Mistook Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about mistook you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean misconception jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mistook pranks.
I dropped my knife and cut off a toe
After the surgery to reattach it, the doctor comes in.
Doctor: I have some good news and bad news.
Me: Tell me the bad news first doc.
Doctor: The bad news is they mistook a piece of candy for your toe.
Me: No way. Whats the good news?
Doctor: The good news is the surgery was successful.
Me: What are you trying to say?
Doctor: You now have a Tic-Tac toe.
Battery
An old woman mistook me for an employee at the supermarket.
She asked, "how much does just one AA battery cost?"
I had one in my pocket, but it was dead. I handed it over and said, "Here, no charge."
Manatees
A Spanish sailor and a French sailor are talking at a port bar together. The French sailor tells the Spanish sailor that he's been hearing stories of mermaids from the English sailors. The Spanish sailor says that mermaids are just a myth and the English just mistook manatees for mermaids. The French sailor asks how could you mistake a manatee for a mermaid? The Spanish sailor responds "Have you seen English women?"
A r**... mistook his own foot for a flounder while flounder gigging...
Later at the hospital, he was chatting with the doctor as the doctor was stitching him up. The doctor was also an avid fisherman too.
Doctor: I see you were using a double pronged gig.
r**...: No, I use a single prong gig.
Doctor: Then why am I stitching up two holes?
r**...: Well the first one is from the gig, the second is from where I tried to put it on the s**....
I saw a friend of mine today....
I saw a friend of mine today and she mistook me for Jesus. She said "Jesus Christ is that you?
