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Mistletoe Jokes

23 mistletoe jokes and hilarious mistletoe puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mistletoe that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Mistletoe Short Jokes

Short mistletoe jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mistletoe humour may include short candy cane jokes also.

  1. If I don't get a girlfriend by Christmas. The mistletoe won't be the only thing hanging from the ceiling.
  2. Instead of mistletoe, we should hang up green citrus fruits so when you stand under them, you'll feel sublime.
  3. Me: uh oh someone's under the mistletoe! Raccoon I've cornered in the garage: [Hisses aggressively]
  4. Dead baby joke What's the difference between a dead baby and mistletoe?
    I don't hang mistletoe at Christmas time
  5. If Michael Jackson saw his mom kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe... ...maybe that explains why he doesnt exist anymore after he told Joe Jackson.
  6. I was depressed, after some soul searching I discovered I s**... indentify as Mistletoe.. I can't wait to hang myself on Christmas.
  7. What's the difference between mistletoe and c**...? No joke here. I'm asking early. Just tired of getting thrown out of Christmas parties.

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Mistletoe One Liners

Which mistletoe one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mistletoe? I can suggest the ones about christmas tree and christmas ornaments.

  1. What does Mrs Claus get when she wears tight pants? A mistletoe.
  2. I was teaching my dyslexic friend how a mistletoe works. I don't think he stoodunder it.
  3. Why did Santa Claus go to the podiatrist? He thought he had mistletoe.
  4. What does Mistletoe represent? It's Christmas Thyme.
  5. For the holidays, try hanging yourself... A mistletoe
  6. What's it called when Mrs Claus's trousers are too tight? Mistletoe
  7. Fun Christmas idea Instead of hanging mistletoe, hang yourself!
  8. What's it called when Mrs Claus wears pants way too tight? Mistletoe
  9. How do snakes celebrate Christmas? They hiss under the mistletoe.

Mistletoe joke, How do snakes celebrate Christmas?

Cheeky Mistletoe Jokes that Will Make You and Your Friends Chuckle

What funny jokes about mistletoe you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean christmas reindeer jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mistletoe pranks.

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve

They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a c**..., so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, 'How do these represent Christmas?' Answer: 'They're Carol's.'

Mistletoe joke, If Michael Jackson saw his mom kissing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe...