The Best 85 Mistake Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Mistake jokes. There are some mistake err jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these mistake edit puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Mistake Jokes and Puns

Why do Sumo wrestlers shave their legs?

Because if they didn't, people would mistake them for feminists.

I haven't worked out since...

I haven't worked out since that one time I tried to reach for a bag of chips at the foot of the bed and did a sit-up by mistake.

That wasn't the joke. The joke is my life.

Anyone there?



Once upon a time there was a female brain cell that by mistake happened to end up in a man's head.

She looked around nervously but it was all empty and quiet.

"Hello?" she cried, but no answer.

"Is there anyone here?" she cried a little louder, but still no answer.

Now the female brain cell started to feel alone and scared and again she yelled:

"HELLO, IS THERE ANYONE HERE!!?"

Then she heard a voice from far, far away:

"Hello! We're down here..."

Mistake joke, Anyone  there?

Today my friend met Chewbacca...

...she said he was "A big stupid fur ball." So he picked her up ripped of her arms and threw her out of a window. I mean everyone knows not to insult Chewbacca like that.
She made a Wookie Mistake.

Dr joke I just made up

A young medical intern was standing in a hospital hallway, looking flustered whilst try to examine a patients' CAT scan. Seeing his confusion, an older doctor came to see what the problem was. He saw that the intern was reading the scan upside down, and turned it around for him. Seeing that the young intern was embarrassed by his mistake, the doctor said, "don't feel embarrassed, lad, there's more than one way to skim a CAT."


I got fired from my job at the cemetery yesterday...

I made a grave mistake.

Blondes and Blind Cowboy

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender,
'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair,
Given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

* The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

* The bouncer is a blonde girl.

* I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in
karate.

* The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

* The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head
and mutters, 'No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times

Mistake joke, Blondes and Blind Cowboy

Ending It All

A very old woman realizes that she's seen and done everything and the time has come to depart from this world. After considering various methods of doing away with herself, she decides to shoot herself through the heart.

Not wanting to make a mistake, she phones her doctor and asks him the exact location of the heart. He tells her that the heart is located two inches below the left nipple.

The old woman hangs up the phone, takes careful aim and shoots herself in the left knee.

Whose point is it anyway?

A ninety-year-old man went to the doctor and said, "Doctor, my eighteen-year-old wife is expecting a baby."

The doctor said, "Let me tell you a story. A man went hunting, but instead of a rifle, he picked up an umbrella by mistake. When a bear suddenly appeared and charged at the man - he picked up the umbrella, shot the bear, and killed it."

The man said, "Impossible. Someone else must have shot that bear."

The doctor said, "My point exactly!"

A lawyer dies and goes to heaven . . .

"There must be some mistake," the lawyer argues. "I'm too young to die. I'm only 49."

"49?" says St. Peter. "No, according to our calculations, you're 83."

"How did you figure that?" the lawyer asks.

"We added up your time sheets," answered St. Peter.

A Chinese couple named Mr. and Mrs. Wong went to the hospital to have a baby...

Mrs. Wong had the baby soon after they arrived, and after they got to see their child, a nurse took it away for medical examinations. When she returned, she was carrying a white baby, not an Asian one. Mr. Wong was surprised and a little annoyed at the mistake and curtly told the nurse to go back and get their actual baby. The nurse insisted that it was the correct child, but Mr. Wong was positive that a mistake had been made, because, as he put it, "Two Wongs don't make a white."

You can explore mistake balm reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean mistake wrong dad jokes. There are also mistake puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A misunderstanding

A girl is driving down the highway listening to the radio when a song comes on that she really, really likes. The DJ says the name of that song was "Hot lips and tender kisses." The girl says to herself I've got to buy that record. She pulls over and looks up the phone number for the nearest record store. She dials the number but makes a mistake while dialing and instead of calling a record store she has called an auto mechanic. The phone rings and the mechanic picks up the phone. The girl says, excitedly, "Do you have hot lips and tender kisses?" The mechanic is a little confused, but responds, "No, but I've got hot pants and seven inches." The girl responds, "Is that a record?" The mechanic says, "No, but it's better than average."

I accidentally went to Star Trek convention dressed as Chewbacca...

It was a Wookie mistake

My wife hasn't spoken to me since I fingered her twin by mistake during a drunken dance at a wedding.

He's not happy about it either.

Asked my black friend if he wanted to go on a cruise..

I just asked my black friend if he wanted to go on a cruise this summer. He said his ancestors made that same mistake and he's not falling for it.

I'm not saying it's a mistake letting my girlfriend control the thermostat...

But two Hobbits just showed up and threw a ring into our bedroom.

Mistake joke, I'm not saying it's a mistake letting my girlfriend control the thermostat...

A nurse walks into a bank...

A nurse walks into a bank totally exhausted after an 18-hour shift. She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it. When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the flabbergasted teller and, without missing a beat, says, "well, that's great...some asshole's got my pen."

Two men and two women are on a train.

There is a mother and daughter on their way to have a holiday, and there is an old general and his valet, a young sergeant. The train goes through a tunnel, and everything is dark. There is a *mwsshk!* and a *smack!* and the train leaves the tunnel.

The mother thinks, "that young man stole a kiss from my daughter and got slapped for it!"
The daughter thinks, "that young man tried to kiss me, and kissed my mother by mistake!"
The general thinks, "that upstart pup steals a kiss and I get slapped for it."
The sergeant thinks, "not bad! I just kiss my hand and get to slap the general, and here comes another tunnel!"

I bought a gallon of Wite-Out the other day....

Big mistake.


I made a huge mistake

I took my girlfriend to Subway, when she got her six inch sub, she looked at me and she instantly knew that I've been lying to her for years.

Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again,I'm coming to live with you."

Mom replied, no no my daughter, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you.

I bought a 5 gallon drum of correction fluid the other day.

Big mistake.

Programming is like sex.

One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.

Did you know Chewbacca got a girl pregnant the first time he had sex

It was a Wookie mistake

My wife's inappropriate Christmas dinner joke

Last night My wife and I were having Christmas dinner with her parents, grandparents, aunts/uncles, and a German neighbor who is a widow. We were talking about messing up while cooking meals and I mentioned the first time I cooked a turkey I cooked it upside down. The neighbor was incredulous that I could make such a mistake and asked how I could possibly do this when the breast would be round and make it difficult to get the turkey to not roll.

My lame joke:
>"Maybe I just like flat breasted turkeys."

Wife looks down at her chest:
>"Well now I feel self-conscious... Wait, is that why you always turn me face down?"

Everybody starts roaring with laughter and her dad turned bright red.

A doctor walks into a bank.

Preparing to endorse a check, he pulls a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tries to 'write' with it.

Realizing his mistake, he looks at the thermometer with annoyance and says, "Well that's great, just great...some asshole's got my pen."

My wife asked me "will you marry someone else if I die?". " Of course not ", I said.

"I'm not doing the same mistake twice"

Saudi TV Mistake

Saudi Arabia TV reported the Brussels attack 15 minutes earlier than it actually happened. Saudi TV sincerely apologizes for this innocent mistake.

A flight from Dublin to Boston

Shortly after I took off on an Aer Lingus flight from Dublin to Boston a few weeks ago, the air hostess nervously announced that the catering department had made a terrible mistake. A big mix up she said. Although 226 passengers were on board they received only 80 dinners. She apologised, but said that anybody kind enough to give up their meal would receive unlimited free drinks for the remainder of the flight. The next announcement came 2 hours later when she said, "If anybody is hungry, we still have 80 dinners available".

A pun loving old man forgot to order his tombstone before he passed away

This was a grave mistake

What do you call a typo on a tombstone

A grave mistake.

An old, blind cowboy wanders into a bar....

An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter,

"Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a, very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,

"Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler

"Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No... Not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

My wife asked me

My wife asked me to pass her lipbalm & I gave her superglue by mistake.
She's still not talking to me

I taught my parents something today...

...I guess they learned from their mistake

Today i made a mistake while sewing.

Oops, wrong thread.

My wife told me I had to give up drinking

So I joined the AA.
Unfortunately, I joined the Automobile Association by mistake.
At least either way I'm on the road to recovery.

Lip Balm To My Wife

Earlier today my wife asked me to pass her some lip balm but I ended up giving her superglue by mistake. She's still not talking to me.

Having dinner last night, my six-year-old turned to me and said, 'Dad, when I grow up, I'm gonna marry you.'

We laughed about it. Then my wife said, 'Don't make the same mistake I did.'

When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.

Classic rook-y mistake.

My best friend turned his back on me when I told him I was gay...

That was his first mistake (Β Ν‘Β°Β ΝœΚ–Β Ν‘Β°Β )

Which blood type was created by mistake?

Type O.

My dad always told me he never made the same mistake twice

Must be why I'm an only child

How do you cover a doctor's mistake?

With soil.

What I want written on my tombstone:

"Not appreciating puns was a grave mistake"

People keep accidentally asking me to purchase meat for them

"By mistake?"

"Oh come on.. Not you as well"

When the Saudi police tackled me after I stole something from the market…

…I instantly realised my mistake when I shouted, "Unhand me!"

I'm being attacked by Russian hackers!

Sorry! Is mistake. Russian people not do such things! Have good day.

My first name is Greatest, last name Ever

Middle name "Mistake"

I made one little mistake 8 years ago and my wife still won't let it go.

She always forces me to go back to the park and pick him up.

I mistakenly thought there were 11 ants illegally squatting in an apartment

Turns out they were ten-ants.

What do actors do when they make a mistake?

They react.

What did the cemetery worker say when he realized he buried a body in the wrong place?

I've made a grave mistake.

I told my friend people keep accidentally asking me to buy meat for them.

He asked: "By mistake?"

I said: "Oh come on, not you too!"

I told my mom "Make me"

She said "I'm not going to make the same mistake twice"

What do you call a case of premature burial?

A grave mistake.

The first time I played chess, I thought the castles moved diagonally.

Rookie mistake.

Today morgue employee got cremated by mistake while taking a nap...

I guess two people got fired that day!

Had my medical license revoked today.

Being a medical professional is like being in a minefield. All it takes is one mistep and you can lose it all. I made a one-time mistake and slept with a patient. A co-worker heard her passionate crys and came to find us in the act. Embarrassing be as it was, I never expected to be the end of my career.

12 years wasted as a veterinarian.

How many people does it take to make a mistake?

In your case, two.

What do you call a body that's been buried in the wrong tomb?

A grave mistake.

My dad always tells me he never makes the same mistake twice.

That's why I am the only child.

My dad always called me "Pancake"

He said it was "Because the first one is always a mistake."

I named my eraser Confidence...

Because it gets smaller with every mistake I make

Don't you hate it when you can't sleep because you are reminded of a mistake you made 2 years ago?

I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night

Proctologist walks into a bank

A proctologist walked into a bank. Preparing to sign a deposit slip, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to write with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, "Well that's great, just great! Some asshole's got my pen!"

The cashier at Costco dared to ask me why I'm buying a giant tub of whiteout.

Big mistake.

A man who recogizes his mistakes when wrong is wise. A man that recognizes his mistake when he is right is...

Married.

The other day my wife asked me to pass her the lipstick but I passed her glue by mistake

She still isn't talking to me

A man committed a murder, and he made the mistake of dragging the body across a freshly-paved sidewalk.

He was easily convicted. There was concrete evidence

The first time Chewbacca tried to fly a ship, he pulled gear lever instead of break lever.

A Wookie mistake.

Sick chihuahua

A man takes his sick Chihuahua to the veterinarian. They're immediately taken back to a room.

Soon, a Labrador walks in, sniffs the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Then a cat comes in, stares at the Chihuahua for 10 minutes and leaves. Finally, the doctor
comes in, prescribes some medicine and hands the man a $250 bill.

This must be a mistake, the man says. I've been here only 20 minutes!

No mistake, the doctor says. It's $100 for the lab test, $100 for the cat scan and $50 for the medicine.

Here's a joke my dad told me: What do you get when you cross mommy and daddy?

A mistake

- I don't know what it means but Mom laughed really hard so it must be funny. Dad uses that joke a lot.

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful

A blonde heard that milk baths would make her more beautiful, so she left a note for her milkman to leave 15 gallons of milk. When the milkman read the note, he felt there must be a mistake. He thought she probably meant 1.5 gallons, so he knocked on the door to clarify the point. The blonde came to the door and the milkman said, "I found your Note to leave 15 gallons of milk. Did you mean 1.5 gallons?" The blonde said, "I want 15 gallons of milk. I'm going to fill my bathtub up with milk and take a milk bath". The milkman asked, "Do you want it pasteurized?" The blonde said, "No, just up to my boobs."

A husband asks his wife, 'Honey, can you tell me anything that makes me happy and sad at the same time?

The wife thinks for a moment and says, 'Of all your friend's, yours is the biggest one'

(Sorry if I made any mistake, I tried to translate it from my mother tongue)

I think it was a mistake to call childbirth delivery .

It should have been called takeout instead.

A nurse walks into a bank…

A nurse walks into a bank, totally exhausted after a 2 back to back 12 hour shifts.
She grabs a deposit slip, pulls a rectal thermometer out of her purse, and tries to write with it.
When she realizes her mistake, she looks at the surprised teller and, without missing a beat, says, "Well that's just great! Some asshole's got my pen!"

I took my daughter to my office for, "Bring your kid to work day". BIG MISTAKE!

After meeting everyone she started getting cranky and began to cry. As everyone gathered around to try to console her, she looked at me and in a loud voice complained, "Where are all the clowns you tell me & mommy you work with everyday?"

One day, a mathematician was found dead in his office....

When they investigated they found he had died of dehydration, slumped over an untranslated copy of Homer's Iliad that had been sent to him by mistake.
Scrawled on the margins were the words "This is the most complicated equation I have ever seen"

What is it called when the pieces in the corner of a chessboard move diagonally

A rookie mistake

What do you call a prince who made a mistake?

A heirror

HR jokes

My salary was 2500$. One month I received 2700$ and I kept quiet. The following month I received 2300$ and I went straight to the HR Manager to complain.

The HR Manager asked why you did not complain the previous month when you got 200 extra?

I replied - I normally forgive the first mistake but when you make a second

one I do not tolerate.

A lawyer dies and ends up in hell.

There must be some mistake, the lawyer argues. I'm too young to die. I'm only 42 years old!

Just 42? That doesn't sound right. says Satan.

The lawyer says, "Thank you so much, this must be some kind of mix up."

"Ah, here we have it," says Satan. "According to our calculations you're 97 years old."

"Where did you get that number from?" asks the lawyer.

Satan says, "We added up your time sheets."

I just came up with this, this community can always use fresh/not reposted material.

I accidentally knocked over a headstone while walking through a cemetery.

I've made a grave mistake.

Bad news. I got fired from my job at the bank today.

I mean, it was an easy mistake... An elderly woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

George W. Bush's brand new Porsche is delivered to his home.

Upon inspecting it he turns to the delivery man and says, "Now lookie here son, there seems to be some sort of a mistake. This appears to be the 718. I ordered 911."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the mistake mistakenly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working mistake overlook piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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