Mississippi Jokes

82 mississippi jokes and hilarious mississippi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mississippi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh along with Mississippi jokes about infamous characters from the state, like their relationship to the Mississippi River, reincarnation, Virginia and inbreds. Enjoy these rib-tickling Mississippi jokes and make your day special!

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Short Mississippi Jokes
Mississippi One Liners
Mississippi River Jokes
Mississippi State Jokes
Alabama Mississippi Jokes
More Mississippi Jokes

Best Short Mississippi Jokes

Short mississippi puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mississippi humour may include short southern jokes also.

If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware? I don't know but Alaska.
Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi? He's still alive.
(Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren)
Alabama VS. Mississippi A man lived in Alabama. He moved to Mississippi. He raised the IQ in both states.
Two blondes are walking and one asks, which is closer, the moon or Mississippi? And the other responds, duh... ... can you see Mississippi?
How did the hippie remember the number of wives he had? He counted 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi, 4 Mississippi...
If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey, what would Delaware? I don't know but Alaska
Neither President Obama nor President Trump has done anything for the people of Mississippi. For example, they still live there.
CBS was looking to start up a new show "CSI: Mississippi" But they couldn't, because there's no dental records and everyone has the same DNA.
Being in a state of depression is one of the worst place to find yourself. But at least it's not Mississippi.
A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty Mississippi. ...Resulting in river failure.

Mississippi joke, A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ende

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about mississippi can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of mississippi puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Mississippi One Liners

Which mississippi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mississippi? I can suggest the ones about south and state.

What do you call a hippies' wife? Mississippi
How long does it take to get from louisiana to Alabama One Mississippi
What do you call the wife of a hippie? Mississippi.
If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware? I dunno, Alaska.
If Mississippi lent Missouri her New Jersey, what did Delaware? I don't know; Alaska
In which state does the Mississippi river flow? Liquid.
What do you call a 27 year old woman in Mississippi? Grandma
What state wears glasses? Mississippi, because it has four eyes.
Where did the hippie go to find a wife? Mississippi.
If Mississippi went to Missouri for a New Jersey what did Delaware ? Don't know, Alaska
What do you call wife of Mr. Sippy? Mississippi.
Mississippi should be the headquarters of the NSA 'Cause it's got i's everywhere
What has 4 eyes and cannot see? Mississippi.
You know what Mississippi needs? A Mr Issippi.
A tropical storm goes through Mississippi and Alabama and becomes a tropical depression.

Mississippi River Jokes

Here is a list of funny mississippi river jokes and even better mississippi river puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Why is it a bad idea to swim in the Mississippi River? Because it has pp in it.
How do rivers measure time? One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi...
My brother got roaring drunk, and his car went off the bridge right where the Mississippi and Missouri rivers come together. He was arrested for driving under the confluence.
Why does the Mississippi river see so well? (Because it has 4 eyes!)
How many nuns swam across the Mississippi River in 1973? nun.
I never said... I never said you were s**..., but when I asked you how to spell Mississippi and you asked me if I meant the river or the state, you kinda caught me offguard.
I never called you s**.... But when I asked how you spelled Mississippi, and you asked if I was talking about the river or the state,it just kind of caught me off guard!
One from Wisconsin Why does the Mississippi River flow south?
Because Illinois s**....

Mississippi State Jokes

Here is a list of funny mississippi state jokes and even better mississippi state puns that will make you laugh with friends.

My proposal for the new state motto of Mississippi was denied. "We're all one big happy family."
The U.S. is a democracy in only 49 states... Mississippi has a queen

Alabama Mississippi Jokes

Here is a list of funny alabama mississippi jokes and even better alabama mississippi puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia rice-growing is at an all-time low But the South will rice again
What's the best part of living in Alabama? You don't live in Mississippi.
Marriage If a couple gets married in Alabama... And divorced in Mississippi... Are they still brother and sister?
Came up with this while driving from Texas to Florida **How long does it take to drive from Louisiana to Alabama?**
About one Mississippi.

Mississippi joke, Came up with this while driving from Texas to Florida

Laughable Mississippi Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about mississippi you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean denial jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make mississippi prank.

Days after a massive F5 tornado hits Mississippi..

...financial experts estimate it did over 50 million dollars worth of good.

A black man walks into a restaurant in Mississippi

He sits down at a table. The waitress comes over and says "I'm sorry, we don't serve colored people". The man says, "That's ok, I'll just have the chicken".

Three men - one blind, one deaf, one dumb - participate in a game show...

The blind man is shown a map with a marker and asked to name the exact place it is pointing to. Being blind though, he is well versed in Braille, so he begins feeling the map with his hands and after a few seconds says "Grenoble, France".
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Blind", says the host.
The deaf man is played a particular song and asked to identify its singer. Being deaf though, he is a keen observer and lip-reader. He notices one of the people in the audience singing along with the song, reads their lip, and says, "Stand Tall, by Burton Cummings."
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Deaf", says the host.
Finally, the dumb man is asked to spell "Mississippi". After thinking for a few seconds, he says, "M-R-S. S-I-P-P-Y".

Mississippi's Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation...

yep, we're ranked 53rd.

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?

1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP...
I^will^see^myself^out

What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman?

A Mississippi cup.

I once had a teacher that used to drink u**... very slowly...

We called her Mississippi.

I'm fortunate to have met a beautiful woman from Mississippi who had all of her teeth.

All of them are on her necklace.

Why do disabled people like living in Mississippi?

They get double the SSI

I'm writing a movie, its about an hour

FADE IN:
INT. CLOCK FACE - DAY
NARRATOR (V.O.)
One Mississippi, two Mississippi....
I've only written the first two lines so far.

So I just overheard my mom ask my dad for a sip of wine.

His response: Ok, Mississippi.

What do you call man living in Mississippi who likes to dress up in women's clothes?

A Mississippi Queen

Mississippi lent missouri her new jersey so what did delaware?

idaho but alaska

Way down upon the Mississippi, two tugboat captains who had been friends for years, would always cry "Aye!" and blow their whistles whenever they passed each other

A new crewman asked his boat's mate, "What do they do that for?"
The mate looked surprised and replied, "You mean that you've never heard of an aye for an aye and a toot for a toot?"

As a former high schooler I'm glad online classes are becoming the norm. I remember having to witness teachers having s... with kids, m... being done in the bathrooms, and living with the fear of school shootings.

Being home schooled in Mississippi was rough.

Two Italian men are having a lively talk on a bus...

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two a**... come together. I come once-a-more. Two a**..., they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one last time."
A church lady behind them is crimson red and beside herself. "You two need Jesus! How dare you say such shameless filth? We don't talk about our s**... lives in public in this country!"
"Hey, relaxa, missa! Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."

What is the difference between a Tornado in Oklahoma and a divorce in Mississippi?

I don't know but someone is losing a trailer.

A woman is eavesdropping on two Italian men on the bus

"First Emma come first, the I come, then two a**... come together, then I come again,then to a**... come together again,then a-pee twice, then finally I come again"
The woman explodes "How can you be so rude, explaining your weird s**... experiences on a bus with children in it?"
The Italian man says: "relax I was just teaching my friend to spell Mississippi!"

Old lady in a train

So this very proper lady was traveling on a train when she heard behind her this conversation..
So.. first Emma come, then I come and then 2 a**... they come a together and then I come again and then 2 a**..., they come a together…Pee twice then I come again .
The proper lady turns around
\- How DARE you talk that way in public..I am going to have you thrown off this train !
The man talking says
\- Hey, whatsamatter you? I just tella my friend how to spella Mississippi.

Insurance Proceeds

A doctor vacationing on the Riviera ran into an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, Remember that run down industrial building I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds.
"What are you doing here? Inquired the lawyer.
Remember multi-family housing I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds.
Puzzled the lawyer asked, how'd you start the flood?

two italians

Two Italians were talking on the bus. One of them says to the other, Emma comes first, then I come, then two a**... they come together, then I come again, then two a**... come together once again, then I come again, pee twice, then I come one last'a time.
Another passenger responds with, Well I never! It's extremely rude to talk about your s**... encounters in public, however extraordinary it is. You filthy, filthy Italians!
The Italian responds with hey, what'sa matter with'a you? I was only telling my friend how to spell Mississippi.

Did you hear the Mississippi governor's mansion burned down?

It was a total loss. Clear down to the axles.

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these mississippi jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.