Mississippi Jokes
75 mississippi jokes and hilarious mississippi puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about mississippi that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh along with Mississippi jokes about infamous characters from the state, like their relationship to the Mississippi River, reincarnation, Virginia and inbreds. Enjoy these rib-tickling Mississippi jokes and make your day special!
Quick Jump To
Funniest Mississippi Short Jokes
Short mississippi jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The mississippi humour may include short southern jokes also.
- If Mississippi gave Missouri her New Jersey to wear at the fair, what will Delaware? I don't know but Alaska.
- Why can't you bury a man living east of the Mississippi in a graveyard west of the Mississippi? He's still alive.
(Learned from my 6th grade math teacher Mr. Warren) - Alabama VS. Mississippi A man lived in Alabama. He moved to Mississippi. He raised the IQ in both states.
- Two blondes are walking and one asks, which is closer, the moon or Mississippi? And the other responds, duh... ... can you see Mississippi?
- Neither President Obama nor President Trump has done anything for the people of Mississippi. For example, they still live there.
- CBS was looking to start up a new show "CSI: Mississippi" But they couldn't, because there's no dental records and everyone has the same DNA.
- Being in a state of depression is one of the worst place to find yourself. But at least it's not Mississippi.
- A fully loaded tractor-trailer carrying 80,000 pounds of Tylenol skidded off an icy bridge, and ended up in the mighty Mississippi. ...Resulting in river failure.
- My proposal for the new state motto of Mississippi was denied. "We're all one big happy family."
- Days after a massive F5 tornado hits Mississippi.. ...financial experts estimate it did over 50 million dollars worth of good.
Share These Mississippi Jokes With Friends
Mississippi One Liners
Which mississippi one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with mississippi? I can suggest the ones about south and state.
- What do you call a hippies' wife? Mississippi
- How long does it take to get from louisiana to Alabama One Mississippi
- If Mississippi wears her New Jersey, what does Delaware? I dunno, Alaska.
- In which state does the Mississippi river flow? Liquid.
- What do you call a 27 year old woman in Mississippi? Grandma
- What state wears glasses? Mississippi, because it has four eyes.
- If Mississippi went to Missouri for a New Jersey what did Delaware ? Don't know, Alaska
- What do you call wife of Mr. Sippy? Mississippi.
- Mississippi should be the headquarters of the NSA 'Cause it's got i's everywhere
- What has 4 eyes and cannot see? Mississippi.
- You know what Mississippi needs? A Mr Issippi.
- A tropical storm goes through Mississippi and Alabama and becomes a tropical depression.
- What do call a cup when drank from by a married woman? A Mississippi cup.
- Why is it a bad idea to swim in the Mississippi River? Because it has pp in it.
- So I just overheard my mom ask my dad for a sip of wine. His response: Ok, Mississippi.
Mississippi River Jokes
Here is a list of funny mississippi river jokes and even better mississippi river puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How do rivers measure time? One Mississippi, Two Mississippi, Three Mississippi...
- My brother got roaring drunk, and his car went off the bridge right where the Mississippi and Missouri rivers come together. He was arrested for driving under the confluence.
- Why does the Mississippi river see so well? (Because it has 4 eyes!)
- How many nuns swam across the Mississippi River in 1973? nun.
Mississippi State Jokes
Here is a list of funny mississippi state jokes and even better mississippi state puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The U.S. is a democracy in only 49 states... Mississippi has a queen
Alabama Mississippi Jokes
Here is a list of funny alabama mississippi jokes and even better alabama mississippi puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Mississippi, Alabama, and Georgia rice-growing is at an all-time low But the South will rice again
- What's the best part of living in Alabama? You don't live in Mississippi.
Laughable Mississippi Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about mississippi you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean denial jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make mississippi pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black man walks into a restaurant in Mississippi
He sits down at a table. The waitress comes over and says "I'm sorry, we don't serve colored people". The man says, "That's ok, I'll just have the chicken".
Three men - one blind, one deaf, one dumb - participate in a game show...
The blind man is shown a map with a marker and asked to name the exact place it is pointing to. Being blind though, he is well versed in Braille, so he begins feeling the map with his hands and after a few seconds says "Grenoble, France".
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Blind", says the host.
The deaf man is played a particular song and asked to identify its singer. Being deaf though, he is a keen observer and lip-reader. He notices one of the people in the audience singing along with the song, reads their lip, and says, "Stand Tall, by Burton Cummings."
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Deaf", says the host.
Finally, the dumb man is asked to spell "Mississippi". After thinking for a few seconds, he says, "M-R-S. S-I-P-P-Y".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Alabama and Mississippi?
In Alabama you have s**... with your sister. In Mississippi you have s**... with your fat sister.... Thought of it this morning and felt like sharing. Cheers
Mississippi's Education/Testing scores are the worst in the nation...
yep, we're ranked 53rd.
Do you know how do you spell Mississippi with one I?
*Covers left eye*
M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?
Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.
Bryan Adams cancelled his Mississippi shows
I thought we were supposed to be punishing them?!
How does a Russian count '1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi...'?
1 CCCP, 2 CCCP, 3 CCCP...
I^will^see^myself^out
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I once had a teacher that used to drink u**... very slowly...
We called her Mississippi.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I never said...
I never said you were s**..., but when I asked you how to spell Mississippi and you asked me if I meant the river or the state, you kinda caught me offguard.
I'm fortunate to have met a beautiful woman from Mississippi who had all of her teeth.
All of them are on her necklace.
I'm writing a movie, its about an hour
FADE IN:
INT. CLOCK FACE - DAY
NARRATOR (V.O.)
One Mississippi, two Mississippi....
I've only written the first two lines so far.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Scientists in Mississippi have invented a chamber that turns people into racists while they're inside.
They're calling it a "voting booth".
How did Huckleberry Finn travel down the Mississippi?
He took the Twain
What do you call man living in Mississippi who likes to dress up in women's clothes?
A Mississippi Queen
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As a former high schooler I'm glad online classes are becoming the norm. I remember having to witness teachers having s**... with kids, m**... being done in the bathrooms, and living with the fear of school shootings.
Being home schooled in Mississippi was rough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Italian men are having a lively talk on a bus...
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two a**... come together. I come once-a-more. Two a**..., they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one last time."
A church lady behind them is crimson red and beside herself. "You two need Jesus! How dare you say such shameless filth? We don't talk about our s**... lives in public in this country!"
"Hey, relaxa, missa! Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A woman is eavesdropping on two Italian men on the bus
"First Emma come first, the I come, then two a**... come together, then I come again,then to a**... come together again,then a-pee twice, then finally I come again"
The woman explodes "How can you be so rude, explaining your weird s**... experiences on a bus with children in it?"
The Italian man says: "relax I was just teaching my friend to spell Mississippi!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Old lady in a train
So this very proper lady was traveling on a train when she heard behind her this conversation..
So.. first Emma come, then I come and then 2 a**... they come a together and then I come again and then 2 a**..., they come a together…Pee twice then I come again .
The proper lady turns around
\- How DARE you talk that way in public..I am going to have you thrown off this train !
The man talking says
\- Hey, whatsamatter you? I just tella my friend how to spella Mississippi.
Insurance Proceeds
A doctor vacationing on the Riviera ran into an old lawyer friend and asked him what he was doing there.
The lawyer replied, Remember that run down industrial building I bought? Well, it caught fire, so here I am with the fire insurance proceeds.
"What are you doing here? Inquired the lawyer.
Remember multi-family housing I had in Mississippi? Well, the river overflowed, and here I am with the flood insurance proceeds.
Puzzled the lawyer asked, how'd you start the flood?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
two italians
Two Italians were talking on the bus. One of them says to the other, Emma comes first, then I come, then two a**... they come together, then I come again, then two a**... come together once again, then I come again, pee twice, then I come one last'a time.
Another passenger responds with, Well I never! It's extremely rude to talk about your s**... encounters in public, however extraordinary it is. You filthy, filthy Italians!
The Italian responds with hey, what'sa matter with'a you? I was only telling my friend how to spell Mississippi.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Came up with this while driving from Texas to Florida
**How long does it take to drive from Louisiana to Alabama?**
About one Mississippi.
Did you hear the Mississippi governor's mansion burned down?
It was a total loss. Clear down to the axles.
